Here be my Animal Crossing Diary, updated as of March 20, 2003. For more recent entries, go here

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September 17, 2002
First day at Shitton. Rover is full of himself, and has connections to Nook, so that’s a point against him. Nook himself wouldn’t let me explore until I picked out a house, so I used to opportunity to write a lewd comment about him at the local Bulletin Board, even though the first post told me not to. Was disappointed to see I could not leave a fake phone number at the end, so I ended instead with ‘Call Nook’s Cranny for details.’ Eventually decided on the green house. Explored a bit, saw other people’s houses. Local fruit is pears (ick.) Used E-reader to get K.K. Slider’s Ska song, though was confused on what to do at first. Visited Animal Island, found out the inhabitant is some sort of animal version of Frank Sinatra. Note to self: must change local nickname for self from ‘hot dog’ to ‘dumb@$$’. Saved Animal Island on GBA, but had to get rid of it to get pattern design program (like I’m gonna pay for it?) Met Evil French Bunny (Gaston?), must avoid contact to keep house its beautiful green color. Shook a bunch of trees, got a bunch of 100 bell sacks; no bees yet. Wish I knew how to combine bell sacks to save space. I’m not about to hide such things at home, and I don’t have a shovel (maybe a bank would be a good idea?) After saving game, received letter from Nintendo containing grab bag, which itself contained NES games Tennis and Pinball. Was unaware that Nintendo games would so quickly fall into my hands. They’re not Punch-Out!!, but considering my E-reader came with DK Jr., it works out pretty well. Never was good at Tennis for Game Boy, though, and am equally terrible at NES game. Found some shells and coral on the beach, but found out the museum doesn’t want them. Maybe I’ll give them to those who have traded with me if nothing better (that I myself don’t want, of course) comes up. Pears are another good idea for that. Unfortunately, found out that I have to give the passwords to Nook the Demon King. Then accidentally entered his store, but was relieved to find out I had to put the uniform on before I was officially his prostitute. Still, I really have to find someway to repay the favor to Miles_Tails_Prower and Chris from Nsider chat for the items. Rather than resolving the issue tonight, I decided to drop the uniform outside and leave it there, hoping someone will take it. Also left coconut from island lying near house, so that I might get a coconut tree someday.
Plans for tomorrow: move uniform to Dump or Island, change outfit (LouWeeJee-patented ‘Pointy L’ logo?), get something on doorpost (Majin Vegeta?) and publish this. Oh, and decide once and for all what I am willing to do for the sake of others (either way, send disparaging letter to Don Nook the Bas****.) Back to top
September 18, 2002
Found out I had set my clock wrong, so the game thought it was night when it was really day. Also realized that I have to have a shovel to plant a fruit tree. Furthermore, learned I need stationary to write letters, guessing Nook has it. Think I’ll make a collection of shells. Couldn’t remember if I own Nook 18,000 bell or just 1,800. Turned out to be 18,800. I thought Nook forgot about the uniform change, but I just forgot to talk to him again after I changed into my Luigi Posing outfit. Speaking of which, I made that today and learned about the problems with pattern design that I mentioned on the front page. Still decided to find Nook’s uniform and take it to the dump, then the one he gave me when I cam back without it. Afterwards, started dumping uniforms in the bushes by his store. Then got sick of this, and decided the uniform isn’t so bad, considering there’s no way around it if I want to buy stuff. Changed back immediately, and planted flowers by house and dump. And Nook was okay with my clothing change! Should make outfit to make customers uncomfortable. Accidentally got him to believe I did the job, felt dirty when he paid me. Must stop that. Decided to quest to achieve financial independence from Nook without working for him. Used island (which has a name I’d rather not mention to appeal to a larger audience), owned by Flash, to achieve this end, then started shaking trees. By the end, when I had given Flash basically all the pears I could find and he already ate all the coconuts but the one I’m saving for a tree at home, I had exactly 18,800 Bell! But Nook won’t let me pay him off until the furniture’s delivered, if then! DANG STUPID GAME!!! Decided to give up fighting it, but upset the Valley Goat anyway. Then gave her stupid furniture, only to be laughed at. She’s getting rotten fish in the mail, I can tell you that. She tried to pay me off with a bear, but I left it on the ground. On the plus side, Nook gave me stationary, but I found out I can’t mail anything to him. So instead, I wrote to Gaston, telling him not to paint my roof or else. That’s when I figured out where the numbers are. Stupid me. Nook figured out what I had done, and gave me another stationary, so I threatened Velma before sending a letter of lewd proposition to Baabara, involving a double entendre of the word ‘dump’. Finally got sick of Nook’s errands when he taunted me for not being able to use the shovel I was to deliver.
Accidentally pressed ‘save & continue’ instead of ‘save & quit’ once, so I countered it by pressing the Power Button. I bet you can guess what happened… Yup, Resetti. Now I don’t like hearing people tell me to ‘SCRAM!’, let alone moles. So I kept pressing the power button after saving after hearing Resetti (cuz reset really is evil.) When I got to where I had to type out an apology, I wrote “I (heart) 2 RESET!!!!” and he understood! It was great. Nothing from “(sun) GET!” though. Made more deliveries, must make note to self to send letter twice as vulgar to Baabara. Game thinks it’s so smart just cuz it recognizes the word ‘baby.’ Finally financially free until my house is upgraded, so I bought some paper, wrote to Baabara (insulting her in a respectful way is fun) and told my passwords to Nook (Miles’ doesn’t work) Bought shovel, planted coconut and pear. Dug up bunch of stuff. Found shiny spot with 1000 Bell, thought I could bury the shovel there, make it become gold, but couldn’t. Ended the day poor and with more items than I cared to have.
Basic Notes: I’m pretty sure being stung is unavoidable, happened to me twice. Found some junk in lost and found and dump, not worth explaining what they are. Native fruit, by the way, is pears. Mr. Resetti responds angrily to words ‘Reset’ and ‘No.’ For Tomorrow: Get money, expand house, the usual. Back to top
September 19, 2002
Got mail from Nook about his stupid sale tomorrow and museum about fossils. Decided to send 2 (one I had leftover and didn’t put in island house, one I found today.) Of course the letters I sent with them were offensive. Got more stationary from dump. First tree I shook had bees; was told later I could escape them by going into a house. Still tougher than escaping Cuccos. Figured out that I need to have shovel in hand to bury things, so I’ll need an extra shovel to make it golden if I remember correctly. Buried snowflake umbrella I got yesterday instead, even though it was raining. Later, accidentally dug up in desperate search for cash. Ground no longer shiny, so I kept it. Wanted desk, so went to island for funds. Unfortunately, the coconuts weren’t grown yet. Good thing I planted the coconut tree yesterday. My pear tree’s coming along nicely, though. Decided to give Flash pears instead, but began to question how often they grow back. Got him to call me ‘@$$clown’, since another nickname wasn’t accepted. Then gave him my yellow bars shirt. Good look on him. Got the desk, realized it doesn’t store anything like my kiddy desk, so I put the plants I stole from Nook there. Called it a day.
Good info to know: Hide from bees in houses. Must have 2 shovels to bury one. Can only sit on other people’s stuff, can use ‘em. Be on guard whenever in a boat alone with Kapp’n, and if he asks if you want a cucumber, shout ‘no’ very loudly. And (from yesterday actually) you can get items from trees too! Back to top
September 20, 2002
Started early to catch Nook’s sale, store was closed. Got Cobbs to call me dumb@$$ instead of hot dog, which was nice. Dug up some fossils. Keep being directed to Gaston to complete tasks; ain’t no way I’m dealing with that scumbag. Stopped playing ‘til the afternoon.
Went to Nook’s; not much different, but had a net that I bought. Then bought other shovel, buried in shiny spot by Nook’s. A little golden sprout grow out of it, so I’m pretty sure I’m doing something right. Twiggy called me a flake for not getting his comic book from Gaston. Gotta send her an ugly bug now. My coconut tree appears to have disappeared. Maybe a hot dog tree would work better. Changed town melody to classic Super Mario Bros. theme, as found at Animal Crossing Online. Check it out, it’s a great site. Apparently, bugs are in hiding, as in non-existent, when it’s raining. Downloaded pattern maker program again for later. Played around with a ball by kicking it up a hill. Couldn’t do it, so I kicked it in the water and watched it float. It went to the lake, then the beach, and washed up, and I spent some time trying to get it on the grass. Afterwards, on my way to quit cuz I was bored, locked Gaston out of his house for a day by digging holes around the entrance.
Came back late at night. Nook’s store closed, people asleep. Thought Prince moved away, replaced by a vulture named Sandy, who went to bed as soon as I came near, and won’t let me in, but found Prince’s house later. Too bad, we have too many frogs in Shitton. Jambette couldn’t even stay up for me to deliver her the clothing she wanted. Not much else to do, but upload Mario from Mario RPG pattern, realized that my coconut tree is probably full grown but not bearing coconuts yet, saw that pears were indeed growing on trees they weren’t on before, buried extra articles of clothing, checked on island (pear tree still not full grown, one tree has coconuts back on it.), set up Apatosaur body and Stegosaur head in shack, put Luigi pattern up as flag, and decided to call it a night. Learned that flowers get destroyed if you walk on them enough. Good thing to know, that. Supposed to be a harvest moon tomorrow night, guess it’s some sort of event. When will this rain let up, it’s getting me down!
Quotes: “Marry me, dumb@$$!” “Hey! What took you so long, dumb@$$?”-Cobbs
“I likes a lady with a little meat on ‘er bones”-Kapp’n (by the way, is he Jewish, or is there another reason he has a lily pad on his head?) Back to top
September 21, 2002
Started after dinner, it stopped raining! Caught a bunch of bugs, none gross enough for Twiggy. Sandy doesn’t like it when people run, or something. Looked at harvest moon: it’s pretty but not worth staring at for hours. Planted money tree with 100 Bell bag. I wonder if a 10,000 Bell Bag yields more cash or grows faster? Went to island, all coconuts have grown back! Running out of space in island house, and already out of it in my house. The mayor done gave me a ‘moon.’ How odd. It’s a little less than a quarter of the size of my house after my first upgrade, but it’ll remind me to be on guard next Camp Hyrule. Unfortunately, it’ll also encourage me to pay off Nook to upgrade my house. Put mosquito in house. Favored it because it’s so small. Ended up burying a bunch of stuff by the Post Office. Area is covered in red dragonflies. Planted coconut tree, perhaps too close to the ocean. Ended up with 62,000 Bell after two trips (one trip dropping coconuts, other trip bringing pears)! Keep hearing this weird ringing noise in certain areas. Perhaps it’s the red dragonflies? Had to deliver a Game Boy today, a Pokémon Pikachu (color version) before. Realized that Gaston’s house only remains blocked until I leave that screen. Got bored, so did two more fruit dropping, money collecting, island trips while waiting for K.K. Slider to appear. Listened to K.K., beat Gaston over the head a few times with my net, then called it a night.
Quote: ‘Yar, tell me something, me little buckaroo… Ye got yerself a girlfriend?’-Kapp’n.
Important info: Flash tells me coconut trees only grow near the ocean. That would explain it, yeah. Found out you can only carry 99,999 Bell at a time. Holes made with shovel only remain until you leave that screen if nothing is buried there. K.K. Slider will only play one song a week. I got K.K. Faire, cuz I pressed that I didn’t have any requests (I would’ve liked to hear K.K. Techno…) Ya can’t send living things (bugs) or turnips by mail. Guess rotten fruit will have to do for Twiggy. Diary entries for the month are all contained on one page, so continue for the top if you’re doing a daily entry, don’t delete then write a new one. And now I forget what I wrote before… Back to top
September 22, 2002
Spent the day collecting bugs and shaking trees (to collect a bee.) Managed to upset Gaston by hitting him with the net a bunch of times. Pear tree grew to full height, so I planted another on the island. Unfortunately, my coconut tree is withering and my golden shovel tree has disappeared. Bashed Baabara and Twiggy with my net. Wish Nook would come outside so I can do the same. Some animals are wondering far outside their houses for some reason, like Gaston and Twiggy. Went on bug-hunting expedition to sell them to Nook, only paid decent money for migrating grasshopper, so I let the others go. Trapped Gaston by digging holes around him, then beat him mercilessly with my net. Was surprised to find a couple of pear trees with pears still on them, so I did the island thing. Island house very useful for storage lately. Found a coconut I missed before, so tried again with coconut tree. Why does everyone have a Pokémon Pikachu but me, and they’re always losing them? And just to annoy me, ANOTHER frog moved in. Puddles is a funny name, though. Found all the frogs hanging around together by the well, but fortunately, Prince says he’s moving away soon. After much work, collected enough bugs (and some seashells) to pay off loan. Nook tells me the raffle is on September 30. Read about the events for tomorrow’s sports thingy, will probably miss a bunch. Added a basement to house for tomorrow, replaced floor with original charcoal tile, and called it a day once again. Back to top
September 23, 2002
Started early today, before Nook opened. Made some deliveries, rearranged my room now that I have the basement for storage, and found Gulliver, the bird who washed up on the shores of Shitton. I thought he was dating someone named Mary in Toad Town and Helen in Hyrule, but it turns out they were goldfish that he treats like a pet, ‘cept he abandons them. Still, I’ll never get used to these inter-species relationships. Looks like my coconut tree might grow, even though everything else I planted in Shitton died. Shook trees, got stung, decided to come back later.
Came back a couple minutes after the relay, so I didn’t get to participate (I think that’s why…), but the mayor gave me a nice medal. Turns out I only have to pay about 50,000 Bell for the basement (that’ll be a cinch as soon as the pears grow back.) Found Gracie, the fashion giraffe, washed her car. She gave me a #1 Shirt, and said later that she gives it out based on how good of a job it is, so that was an ego boost. Guess all my work at the Race in Game Boy Camera paid off (obviously there’s no other reason why I’m good at repetitive motions with my hands…) She seemed snobbish though, so I hit her on the head with the net, but she’s too stupid to know, so I dug potholes around her car and hit it with a shovel too. Tried the golden shovel thingy again. Cobbs got upset that I wouldn’t buy any of his stuff, but his prices are worse than Nook Daimao himself! But to show there’s no hard feelings, I beat him over the head with my net. Why’s it always raining at the island when it’s sunny in Shitton? I never think to bring an umbrella.
Back again, went to the ball toss, was there at the right time and I STILL didn’t get to participate!!! So I sold some bugs, left, came back later, and found a new neighbor. His name’s T-Bone. So I ask T for a job and what does he ask me to get? A POKÉMON PIKACHU!!! ENOUGH OF THOSE ALREADY!!! Delivered two in 10 minutes. Game Boy is a close second for pick-up jobs, by the way.
Came back late at night, but just for trading purposes (ordered back-up NES games from my catalog, sent items away and wrote down passwords, collected more seashells, sold them, etc.) Should have a little trading ring going on pretty soon. Back to top
September 24, 2002
Nook’s store was closed for remodeling today. Pear trees were back, so I took as many as I could, brought them to the island, dropped all the coconuts from the coconut trees, which had also grown back, and Flash had a feast. Didn’t get as much money as I expected (was under 100,000 Bell), but was enough to pay off Nook. Still have to deal with stupid balls that I can only kick. Made deliveries: four Pokémon Pikachus and one article of clothing to Baabara, who again gave me her old outfit. They probably stink. Was pretty busy in the real world today, so that’s about all I had time to do. Back to top
September 25, 2002
Nook’s Cranny transformed into Nook ‘N Go. Had to agree to have my house expanded, putting me in more debt, to buy anything there though. Finally got a fishing rod, but found out I wasn’t all that good at fishing. Did the fruit thing at the island, gave Flash my Four Ball (as in pool) shirt, which is fine, since I have a Number One Shirt, so that means I own him and stuff. Made some deliveries: NO POKÉMON PIKACHUS! Still want one of my own. Accidentally bought stuff from Nook that I didn’t want, I think by pressing ‘B’ too quickly. Turns out the sewing machine won’t let me make patterns, what a rip.
Came back late at night for trading purposes, found out I have a new neighbor named Fang. Has an attitude, but at least he’s not ditzy, or a frog. Still, neighborhood is filling up too quickly for my tastes, and I still haven’t gotten most of them to call me insulting nicknames! Got me Clu Clu Land. Hard to figure out at first, but very unique concept: like Mario’s Picross in that you discover an image by checking certain areas(created using rupees that were ripped from the Legend of Zelda.) On a related note, my trading post page is finally up, so check it out. Cannot stress enough that one can use catalogs to get extras of items, so that one doesn’t have to give anything up. Of the two fish I caught, I’m having trouble figuring out how to make them stinky and dead so that I can send them to my neighbors. Can’t drop them anywhere but my house, and in my house the live in an aquarium. Maybe if I carry them around long enough…
Plans for tomorrow: learn how to fish right, get more prestige in delivery so I can get some good items for once, find a way to torment Nook
Quote: “Yar, say there, ye wide-eyed sea puppy... Ye been workin' out?”-Kapp’n. How the programmers can have him say this stuff and not envision him as homosexual is beyond me.Back to top
September 26, 2002
Found out I owe Nook about 400,000 Bell. I’ll show him, I can get that much, no problem! House expansion looks better on the outside than inside. Found Sahara, the carpet-selling camel, who wants both money and another carpet for his (her?) carpets. Probably a rip, but Nook doesn’t sell any good carpets anyway. Speaking of which, Nook said I have to have 5 raffle tickets to get a chance at an item. What a jerk. Took what little fruit was left to the island. Coconut tree finally bears fruit. Really wish I could just skip over Kapp’n’s songs. Bought a pink flamingo from Nook, but had nowhere to put it. I swear, I have waaaay too many fossils. Doesn’t feel right to bury them, so they’re in my basement and the island shack. Stupid animals always giving items they have on loan from someone else to other animals! Found a present on a balloon, but was too high in the air to catch. Sold a bunch of seashells, turned some fish in to the museum (Nook might actually find them useful, so he can’t have any.) Cobb challenged me to a fight after I bonked him with my net, but I think he backed down. Anyway, the extent of what I did included selling seashells, finding fish for the museum, and making deliveries. Back to top
September 27, 2002
Started off buying stuff from Nook, liked the Paper Parasol, but then I found a Nintendo Umbrella (I think it’s Nintendo written in Kanji, Gaston has the same umbrella.) Made my fruit island trip thingy. Made two trips to see how it effected how much money I got: One trip with the pears from the mainland, the other with the coconuts from the island. Still not halfway to my goal. Wish the bugs wouldn’t hide when it rains (was raining yesterday too, did I mention that?) Found a new neighbor, what appears to be a robotic clone of Sandy. Cool house, has two corners of what I think is a boxing or wrestling ring (I want one!) Picked up a peach from wariofan, planted it. If it doesn’t grow, I’m gonna be upset. I think my money tree’s dead again too. What am I doing wrong?? Yeah, I guess you could e-mail me if you know the answer, but what fun is that for me?
Important Info: If you’re feeding a lot of fruit to your island pal, make sure you don’t accidentally pick up one of the money bags that he/she dropped. He/she is stupid enough to eat it if you drop it again. Back to top
September 28, 2002
I GOTS ME AN AXE!!!!!! Had a heck of a time trying to chop off the heads of my adversaries, though. Did some weed pulling, even though I tend to respect weeds. While coming back from my island thing (for which I got less than 10,000 Bell with 9 fruit), I met yet another new neighbor. You’d think they’d run from the overabundance of weeds, but noooo… It’s a pig named Sue E. (heh, funny.) Very classy house, that one. Even a replica of the Mona Lisa. Puddles said something about playing NES games at Gaston’s so I checked it out, but found nothing. Wish he had more stuff by his house so I could ravage it. Shook trees, got stung, sold seashells to Nook, and saw the mother of all fish! Didn’t have my fishing rod, though, so had to rush home, and it was gone when I came back. Stupid game! Caught some new types, though, so I donated them to the museum. Realized I had 9 more pears on various trees, went to the island again. Kapp’n apparently has spent a night in a Hyrulean prison. Probably for having too big of a head. Much better turn out for second island trip: over 20,000 Bell (if only I had combined the trips, could’ve gotten 30,000 Bell bags, but I didn’t know.) Poor island guy is still getting rained on. Sandy claims to be growing peach trees, but all I see is my little sapling from the trade. Game can be so dumb sometimes. Like how I had to spell out to Velma that she looks like an old boot in a letter yesterday. Note to self: If looking for animal porn, go to Fang. He needed his picture book back from T-Bone for ‘…personal reasons.’ K.K. is oblivious to my net. Requested K.K. Techno, but apparently he played something else, and wouldn’t give me a tune. But then he let me try again after hearing the tune! Bonus! Requested K.K. Classical, hoping he didn’t have that either. He didn’t and played the same song. Dang! Tried dropping the periods. Got a new song, but he still said it wasn’t what I wanted. Then tried KK Soul. Same song. Decided to go look for a house with a KK tune afterwards, but then remembered seeing KK Calypso at someone’s house. Then I hit the wrong button and said I didn’t have a request. DANG THIS GAME TO HECK!!! K.K. Aria was pretty though. Decided to call it a night.
Important Info: Fish must be released by the water. Didn’t realize that for some reason until today.
For tomorrow: Pay off loan at all costs!!!!!! Back to top
September 29, 2002
Accidentally unplugged my console (I’m afraid my first controller may have to be put out of its misery), so I had to deal with the wrath of Resetti. Kept turning off the console until I got to the one where he just gives up and lets you off with a warning. I swear, I’m becoming afraid of digging with my shovel, just because I’m running out of places to put fossils. Officer Copper’s having trouble not sounding like a beatnik, but likes K.K. Slider. Chased a present on a balloon, never could get it with the net. If only I could throw the axe… Then I chased another floating present, which got stuck in a tree, so I got it! But it was only a blue bench, so I decided to give it to Flash (he likes blue furniture.) So I made my island trip, Flash paid about 2,000 Bell for the bench. Then he threw away the gyroid thingy I gave him before. How odd… Island run gave me about 40,000 Bell. Kapp’n occasionally subconsciously warns me about him by complaining about scurvy and demanding “fruit… FRUIT!!” Blathers was very informative about bagworms when I donated one. I had been shaking trees, and would have preferred to bag a bee (I gotta work on my timing), but I must say he was like a Discovery Channel special.
Nook’s ‘special sale’ consisted of one bamboo flooring. What a rip. At least I got a balloon. Puddles redid her place. Looks nice, with a toilet and K.K. Ballad. The toilet actually flushes when you get off of it after sitting for awhile. How… un-Nintendo. Made some deliveries, trapped Sprocket with the shovel and bashed her with the net (just for the heck of it), and called it a night. Back to top
September 30, 2002
Another neighbor again, a nice dog named Bea. If his death is the cause of a horrible monster who had recently reformed his ways getting all upset about the evils of humanity and accidentally creating an evil clone of himself, who then proceeds to eat the original, I’m gonna be pissed. Anyhoo, raffle day. I won DK Jr. Math!... wait, I already know my math. Dang. Didn’t win anything the second go around, but I’m no cheater, so I just left it at that. Would cheat for no reason if it would upset Resetti though. Dang, is DK Jr. Math ever a stupid game. Ah well, I’m a good enough talker to get someone to trade me it online for a game that’s actually worth playing. I hope. Either way, NES games are good… I think. I forgot to mention this, but some crazy lady claiming to be my mother (who I’m pretty sure died during the Kamek Massacre) keeps sending me letters. I mention this since Bea had the same problem. Decided to finally give a bunch of fossils to Blathers for identification, then perhaps donate them, though the idea of giving him something people actually want to see leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Ran out of ideas on what to put on the letters, so I told him Nook was a prostitute. Now I must wait and see if he actually reads these things. Tried to talk to Pete, but he flew away too fast. Sorry, Officer Copper. It’s been two consecutive days since I could do normal shopping with Nook. Had to put some migratory locusts in storage (basement) for tomorrow as a result. Speaking of which, why do I always see the most migratory locusts when I don’t have my net with me? Flash’s philosophy about having to be scarred to be kind depresses me. Dug up a Pitfall today, now I must go through the long and arduous process of deciding who to screw with. The coconut trees grew back today, so I made off well at the island. Still short though, and not much I can do about it today (I bet that was Nook’s intention. He knows how dangerous I am as a free man, so he can’t allow me to pay off any more loans. Fool.) Flash gave me back my blue bench, which hurt my feelings a bit. Found praying mantises and a ladybug on the island, but can’t sell them today. Stupid Nook! Now I don’t want to try to prove a professional wrong, but isn’t it the Japanese beetles that look like ladybugs that excrete a noxious fluid, not actual ladybugs. Eh, whatever. Came to a quick decision that Twiggy was a fine victim after seeing the ditz all happy and stuff. Then she insulted my fashion sense, so of course she’s dead. Unfortunately, I realized the pitfall only works for someone smart enough to use a shovel. So I bashed her with my net and started pushing her around. Then, after much trial and error, and after she had calmed down, I created my patented Dungeon of Pain, and got to netting. Sent T-Bone a letter starting with “Dear Fathead:”, and called it a day.
Tomorrow, Nook, this battle ends.
Important Note: What you find in the dump at 4:30 may be different than what you find at 2:00. Pitfalls are useless against animals. Back to top
October 1, 2002
Autumn has hit Shitton. Nook’s having a special sale again (your plan will fail Nook!) October raffle tickets are blue and stuff. Seems like all the animals have changed outfits. Peach tree started bearing fruit today, so I planted another. I get the feeling I don’t know how to use Pitfalls, since I dug up my own by accident without anything happening. And Fang claimed responsibility for burying it there for some reason. Jerk. Also planted an apple that I got from a trade. Then I ran it over, so I think it’s dead. People I’ve talked to have told me so. Why did I have to be born clumsy? On the plus side, I think one of my money trees is growing! Migratory locusts are less common than yesterday, but still around. Flash does NOT like peaches. Why is Fate always against me? Sold some bugs and seashells, but still looks like I’m not gonna be a free man today. Now I must go and wallow in self-pity.
Kapp’n quote: “Yar, kid, what do you think of my hair? Would you wear it like this?” Back to top
October 2, 2002
Gracie the Giraffe was in town again, but still won’t give me any of her fashionable outfits. My apple tree is growing! Nothing else is, though. Can’t find money tree. Maybe full grown but hasn’t sprouted? Perhaps the stepping-on sapling theory is wrong. Took job from Gaston, but couldn’t find Fang. New bridge is quite useful. Attacked Gracie’s car with my axe until the axe went dull. Having so many bags of money (not gonna deposit it, not gonna just leave it around) makes island trips hard. Wrote Flash a poem about how stuff happens. Also mentions a monkey. Signed it as “The Great and Majin Puu”, because I can. Found Fang afterwards. Never got around to completing fruit-island thingy today. Back to top
October 3, 2002
The lady claiming to be my mom sent me a peach, but she’s a bit late. Officer Copper says some guy named Wendell is coming on the 6th. The coconuts came in on the island, so there was no chance for Nook to keep me from paying off my loan. TAKE THAT, YOU RACCOON BAS… sorry. Flash wants a blue bench again. That guy is far more indecisive than he lets on. There’s a word for it, but I can’t think of it right now. I’ve decided I like Bea the best. He’s just an all around nice dog. By the way, the reason I’ve never quoted the Kapp’n on “the sea’s in me heart, I don’t want it in me pants!” before is that I’ve seen it quoted on other places, and don’t want to look like a copycat or wannabe. I think I’ve been planting my coconut trees too close to each other, which would account for their dying. Oh, and it’s raining again, just to bring me down. If Kapp’n calls me a carp brain again, his boat is gonna have a little ‘accident.’ Oh, who am I kidding, this game doesn’t let me do anything fun. Cutting down trees is one thing, but being a serial killer, now THAT’S fun. Or a mob boss, that’s good too. The ‘insurance’ rates I’d give Nook would be so high, dang! Yes, I think the perfect game for me would combine Shenmue, Animal Crossing/The Sims, and Grand Theft Auto 3, with slightly more RPG than Shenmue. What that amounts to, I have no idea. Still have no idea how to get the floating treasure on the island. Maybe it’s supposed to randomly hit a tree as well? Flash showed me my wonderful poem, he seemed to like it. Tried to golden shovel tree again before paying off my loan. T-Bone made Bea sad, then mad, so I beat him senseless. Made Gabi’s delivery, hit him for giving me stationary, then accidentally went into Nook’s after burying the stationary. So now I’ve only got a day of freedom instead of two. Anyway, I called… well I stopped playing, anyway.
Came back late at night to play some NES games. That lasted about 5 minutes before I got bored. Hit and Run Sandy, who was sleeping, with my net. Why would anyone just stand outside to sleep anyway? Maybe they did it accidentally, like in the Sims. Uploaded the pattern editor onto my GBA for the next day. I guess the Able Sisters are as much of insomniacs as I am. Not raining anymore, which is good, but who knows about tomorrow? Decided to explore a bit. One can enter the house of a sleeping animal: just push him/her out of the way. The animals still sleep when you do that, so I guess they’re heavier dozers than myself. I can’t emphasize enough how much I love the new bridge and how upset I am it wasn’t there in the first place. T-Bone says that he fell asleep outside on accident. Sure are a lot of accidents in the town, though. Found Wisp, the ghost. I wonder who Big Smelly is? Nook’s not all that big, though I guess his smell is. Perhaps he truly is the Satan of this town. No, wait, I am. It seems to be me that Gaston gives the best items for a job. I wonder what ectoplasm actually means. Is it’s definition just ‘the stuff that ghosts are made of’? Talked to Gaston too often, and guess what he did to my roof? BURN IN HECK!!! And I was starting to like him. Wait, so if Nook upgrades the house tomorrow, and I chose green instead of pale green like before… eh, I still gave him the beating he deserved. Then I dropped a tree on his head, but he didn’t seem to notice. Then dug holes around his house and chopped down the trees around it. I kinda feel bad returning the spirits to the depths of heck but I can’t let Nook be Satan, since I’m not good at being just when I’m given omnipotent power. Plus, maybe the reward will be good for once. Got Wisp (who I think is closely related to the Boos of The Mario World) to give me a rug. Should’ve asked him to paint my house, since that would make sure the damage is undone. Then again, would he let me pick the color? Finished night by writing most profane letter I could think of for Gaston. Here’s what part of it I feel I can print here:
To Gaston
Dear _____-_____ _______:
You’ve crossed the _______ line. Prepare to burn in ___, ________!! 
You will know the true meaning of pain when I’m through _____ your ___.
						      Go ___ yourself, ___!!

That roof better be green tomorrow, or even the guy who thought up the idea of having animals repaint your roof is gonna pay. Pay dearly, with blood as currency. Oh wait, now I’ve incriminated myself. Guess he’ll have to pay in a more legal fashion.
Random Thought: If only I could bring my axe into Nook’s store. I’d make myself a Tom Nook/Tanuki suit and fly away from the town, to find that crazy lady who claims to be my mom and bop her one. My mother would never eat too much (my mother in Brooklyn perhaps, but that’s another story), you fake mother you! And she would send me good presents! Back to top
October 4, 2002
My house is green and two stories tall, so maybe I’ll make ‘make Gaston’s life a living nightmare’ a weekly thing instead of a daily one. I now have all the letters I can carry of fossils, so but luckily I found out you can save letters with presents. It’s not raining today, which is good. Nook wanted me to pay twice what I did before, but specifically mentioned that he can’t upgrade my house anymore. Nice try. No matter how much you charge me, Nook, I WILL earn financial independence. Game Over, Checkmate, I win, you lose, deal with it! I like the imperial tile much. My golden shovel tree’s dying again. I blame Bea, since he was running around by it. Lost and Found hasn’t brought stuff in for awhile now.
Left for a bit, came back, sold migratory locusts, dug up Gaston’s yard again, bopped Gaston in the head. Then went fishing. Should have enough pears to get some 30,000 Bell bags, but want to put that off until later. I guess the one good thing about rain is you can get the ‘-oid’ thingies. I think Nintendo call all of ‘em gyroids, but not all of them gyrate! You know, I never realized you can fish from a cliff to the bottom of a waterfall. How odd of me. Back to top
October 5, 2002
Came during the night. My apple tree sprouted apples, but not much happening otherwise. Caught some migratory locusts, caught some fish. Had decided on K.K. Calypso as a request, but decided K.K Ballad is even better, and worthy of an ending theme. Found out dull axes do not grow into golden axe trees. One of my money trees have borne its ‘fruit’! Just a 100 Bell one, though, but certainly gives me hope for a 30,000 Bell one! Still extremely risky. Bea got a letter that suggested putting trees in sunlight, but I thought that’s what I was doing… How long are these frickin’ balls gonna be here?!? Can’t pick ‘em up, so hard to get ‘em up hill, and I’m still upset about the fraud that is Fall Sports Fair!!! I wonder if Flash ever dances the rumba all night long with someone else named LuWigi. Did I mention he’s obviously a gigolo, and I want my share as his pimp? Then again, he does supply with good prices for fruit. Perhaps we have an understanding. That and he bought the same blue bench I sold him before, which he gave me back, for what I think was the same price. Guess I won’t push for the cash after all. Flash likes apples, but I dunno if he likes them better than pears or not. Sent two letters to Bea, one telling him about a top secret incantation that he was to read out loud, and another with the actual incantation (See the links page for details.) I hope I can trust him. Earned about 50,000 Bell from fruit run. Fishing is difficult for me, but I find if I go away for a bit, a fish resurfaces in about the same area. I wonder if that’s cheating… Anyway, Flash applauded when I finally caught it, but I already gave a red snapper (which is still very tasty) to Blathers. I really gotta donate some fossils, the stuff’s becoming like trash to me. Haven’t gotten any boots recently, which is too bad. Could send them to Gaston. Nah, only rotten fruit for him. Got a feeling K.K. Ballad, which I successfully requested, is a tune I’ve heard from another place. Maybe I just heard it so often at one of the houses. Did some tree shaking, got some items from trees and odd jobs, fished some more, got some new fish, made a pattern, then finally quit the game.
Kapp’n Quote:“I get a feeling about ye, me wee minnow… ye look like ye’ll make a fine wrestler someday.” Back to top
October 6, 2002
Found Wendell today. Gave him a bunch of pears and a coconut before giving him a small bass, his favorite, and got nice wallpaper. Did some trading, planted an orange tree, caught locusts, was slow to do island thing. My brand new axe also won’t grow into a tree. How am I supposed to get an indestructible axe? Coconut trees came in on the island, but my apple tree died. Good thing I buried another by Nook’s today. Twiggy buried a green dresser in the B-area, but I can’t seem to find it. Must be behind something, like a house. Gaston sent me a cactus today, with the excuse that he wanted me to throw it out. Told him that wouldn't cut it, gave him the ultimatum of a good NES game or eternal dangnation. Good island run today, a number of 30,000 Bell bags. Spent much time trading, so was sick of the game at this point. When’s Prince gonnna move away already? Do I have to chop down the trees by his house?
Kapp’n Quote:“Yar there, me little landlubbin’ spike head… Ye know the difference between pasta ‘n noodles Back to top
October 7, 2002
I gots me Soccer today! (and you dit ent…) Good Bea! Then Gaston said that my letter didn’t make any sense (and Bea said it bored him?) So I decided to make it simple, including such phrases as ‘You are an idiot.’ First though, I played a round of soccer, and while I struggled to take control of the players, I still enjoyed beating the computer, and it reminds me of Ice Hockey, one of my favorite old NES games that not everyone knows about. All in all, a good game to have. Someone left an N-logo in the dump! Whoopee! Sahara’s coming on Wednesday. Nook’s remodeling again. I’ve gotta stop giving him money. Fang called me a kayaker, so I bopped him one. Completely ran out of room in my basement storing fossils, migratory locusts, and peaches. Sable’s talking to me, so that’s coo. Found out I was right, GCN patterns use only one palette too. That’s just… really dumb. I still don’t trust that blue hedgehog Mabel. Hearing myself quote Austin Powers whenever I get a bagworm is unnerving… Collected some pears to bring to island (won’t do island thing until tomorrow, not enough fruit), shook trees, got stung (running and then netting doesn’t work, neither does netting while right next to tree…), then decided to come back later, but didn’t get around to it. Back to top
October 8, 2002
Nook opened up his precious Nookway today. At least now I have a signboard and paint option. Can’t put anything on the board but a design, how odd. Still put it at Gaston’s Bought a painting from Nook, gave it to Blathers. Found the famed Skull shirt in the dump. Probably good for trading. Decided to make a quick fruit run, even dropped my money bags on the top floor of my house to store more fruit. Flash tried to get me to replace my poem, but I refused. Made two fruit dropoffs, but only could find 7 fruit items for second trip. No 30,000 Bell bags. Dang! Really gotta make more time for this game, after all, it’s much more interesting than my real life. Still seeing more migratory locusts when I don’t have my net…
Kapp’n Quote: “Hey there, me little grubber… always keep yerself clean, if ye know what I mean.” Back to top
October 9, 2002
Was busy today, but did manage to get some AC in around 6-ish. Found a batbrella (must be ‘cause it’s October) and Nook was selling the Big Brother shirt. Sahara was in town, still not willing to give carpet AND money for a carpet. Shook trees, caught locusts, the usual. Decided to try to find out how much fruit there was. Brought over all I can carry, and then realized the coconuts were back. I’m getting kinda sick of these island trips, so bummer for me. Flash is still trying to get me to change my poem. Poor guy. But rather than show that I feel sorry for him, I sold him back the blue bench. Guy was smart enough to pay almost nothing for it this time, though. Flash is holding out on me, I just know he has 30,000 Bell bags. I never shoulda fed him those apples… Would give him my extra axe, but have a vision of all my coconut trees being destroyed before I can stop him. Yes, MY coconut trees! Decided to destroy the 6-Ball fad that’s going on with my own, better, shirt: “LuWigi’s my (slave)”. Also wanted made the LuWigi shirt you see on the front page, but didn’t get around to it. Feel guilty just having Big Brother Shirt. TOM NOOK IS AN EXTORTIONIST! Sable tells me he doesn’t pay dirt for the designs that Sable works so hard on, and considering how little they cost, you know how little it must be, since it’s probably 99% profit for Nook. Maybe I can get the Able Sisters on my side, when the time comes to bring vengeance upon my enemies. Posted a warning to others to stay away from Gaston or risk getting hurt accidentally. Why do animals always try to insult/threaten me? I just bonk ‘em with my net.
Closing thought: I hope Nook didn’t get to Flash and ‘persuade him’ to hold back on Bell. Still, I’ll find a way around it… Back to top
October 10, 2002
Me golden shovel tree is growing! Apparently now that Nook has Nookway, he’s gonna spam me about what items he has each day. We’ll see about that. Apparently ‘Mom’ has a ‘Dad’, who reminded me that Mushrooming Day is coming soon. Bea did too, and won’t tell me where to look. I know he wants me to hate him, but I just can’t seem to. Still wacked him with my net when he interfered with my bug hunting, though. But then he was nice enough to warn me about one of Tom Nook’s ‘sales.’ I’ll never understand that dog. Although I had forgot about it, my orange tree sprouted fruit today. Decided to try to clean out my basement of more fossils. Prince, who often forgets his own name, gave me a peach, but unfortunately it was not rotten. Guess I’ll have to do it myself… Baabara’s apparently a lush. I wonder why Cobb wears a band-aid… Japanese fashion statement? Velma’s wearing my shirt! Ah, life is good. The Able Sisters had their parents die when they were young. Sad theme for such a kiddie game. Also, apparently Mabel’s a homosexual. That or she is far more concerned about being considered a tomboy, whichever. Or maybe she’s hinting that Mabel is Sonic himself with a disguised voice? Eh, let’s just leave at homosexuality. After all, why else do I write down the Kapp’n quotes? Made my custom logo, very happy with the results. Maybe I’ll make an example of it for the grids section. Wondered for a second whether to bonk Gabi for saying she’s glad she’s not me (I got stung AGAIN…), then bonked her good. There’s gotta be another way to talk to that Pete dude. When does he deliver again? Nook says something shiny will be available on the 12th. All right, ya raccoon scum, I’m game. I like shiny things. I do not, however, love gold, or something. Twiggy convinced Velma to switch clothing. She is soooo dead… Bonked her relentlessly, then found a whole bunch of migratory locusts for some reason. Accidentally went over 99,999, but Nook actually allowed me to keep the extra in a bag… He’s still a dead raccoon. Mailed another batch of fossils, and called it a day.
Word of the Day:Mycologist: someone who studies mushrooms.
Shroomhead: someone who "studies" mushrooms. October 10, 2002 Me golden shovel tree is growing! Apparently now that Nook has Nookway, he’s gonna spam me about what items he has each day. We’ll see about that. Apparently ‘Mom’ has a ‘Dad’, who reminded me that Mushrooming Day is coming soon. Bea did too, and won’t tell me where to look. I know he wants me to hate him, but I just can’t seem to. Still wacked him with my net when he interfered with my bug hunting, though. But then he was nice enough to warn me about one of Tom Nook’s ‘sales.’ I’ll never understand that dog. Although I had forgot about it, my orange tree sprouted fruit today. Decided to try to clean out my basement of more fossils. Prince, who often forgets his own name, gave me a peach, but unfortunately it was not rotten. Guess I’ll have to do it myself… Baabara’s apparently a lush. I wonder why Cobb wears a band-aid… Japanese fashion statement? Velma’s wearing my shirt! Ah, life is good. The Able Sisters had their parents die when they were young. Sad theme for such a kiddie game. Also, apparently Mabel’s a homosexual. That or she is far more concerned about being considered a tomboy, whichever. Or maybe she’s hinting that Mabel is Sonic himself with a disguised voice? Eh, let’s just leave at homosexuality. After all, why else do I write down the Kapp’n quotes? Made my custom logo, very happy with the results. Maybe I’ll make an example of it for the grids section. Wondered for a second whether to bonk Gabi for saying she’s glad she’s not me (I got stung AGAIN…), then bonked her good. There’s gotta be another way to talk to that Pete dude. When does he deliver again? Nook says something shiny will be available on the 12th. All right, ya raccoon scum, I’m game. I like shiny things. I do not, however, love gold, or something. Twiggy convinced Velma to switch clothing. She is soooo dead… Bonked her relentlessly, then found a whole bunch of migratory locusts for some reason. Accidentally went over 99,999, but Nook actually allowed me to keep the extra in a bag… He’s still a dead raccoon. Mailed another batch of fossils, and called it a day. Word of the Day-Mycologist-someone who studies mushrooms. Shroomhead-ditto Shroomer-someone, usually female, with a hairdo that is similar to a semi-circle shape, when viewed from the front. Back to top
October 11, 2002
Puddles moved away, before Prince. How odd… Guess she never got used to having compete with Jambette for whatever they’d compete for. But then this cow named Belle moved in. The community will fall apart with all these changes, I tell ye! Anyhoo, she has 3 shirts made out of her relatives. My money tree’s growing. I guess I’m getting better at planting or something. Was busy returning Sprocket her Pokémon Pikachu, when I decided to talk to Gabi, be a nice neighbor. What did we talk about, do you ask? How I had to give up the fine space station I found in the dump for a stupid rug or a stupid carpet! No choice in the matter! So what choice did I have. Yes, friends, your faithful webmaster did the only thing he could do… turned off the game. DO NOT TRUST THOSE DANG EVIL BUNNIES!!! BOYCOTT THEM!!! Now I have to buy all my stuff again, plus get to the Resetti where he doesn’t ask for an apology… time to test out my Pitfall again. Back to top
October 12, 2002
Didn’t get back to town until after midnight, so Nook’s was closed, different stuff at the junkyard, and for some reason, got different fossils in the mail. Guess I’ll never have a good space collection. Did fruit island thing, actually getting a 30,000 Bell bag this time. Buried a pitfall by Gabi’s door, to make sure she never has the desire to mess with me, and chopped down the trees by her house, except the fruit trees cuz those are useful to me. Shook a bunch of trees, got some money, talked to some animals, did some jobs, bonked Gabi and Gaston good.
Came back around 1 for Nook’s sale. He sold a space heater. Was thinking of getting it, then remembered I already have a furnace. Got a balloon, didn’t want it to pop, but couldn’t store it anywhere unless I unwrapped it. Watched Gabi fall into my Pitfall, but made the mistake of talking to her, which allowed her to escape. Bonked her three times to fix my mistake. Shook trees, finally caught a bee! Involved swing at it, running, then swinging at it again to do it. Donated it to Blathers, who told me a story of how honeybees surround invading wasps who attack their nest and vibrate to the point where the wasp dies of heat, though the honeybees can just barely stand it. Kudos to whoever writes Blathers’ dialogue, person really knows his or her stuff. Collected fruit and dropped it off on the island, and even though the coconut trees came in, decided not to bother with fruit thing just yet. Caught some migratory locusts and did some errands, got blue furniture, which Flash bought from me, and a cow skull, which now resides on my table. Still feel kinda bad for not getting the stationary and space stuff yesterday, also for technically cheating. Fortunately, I’m actively channeling that guilt into anger towards Gabi. Did the dangnation of souls thingy again, this time Wispy's worried about some cheese guy. Present wasn't exciting or anything.
Came back around 6, did some shopping (Nook’s back to his regular stuff.) Contemplated whether to do an island run, then realized I had a heck of a lot of fruit, since some trees sprouted some since I was gone. My shirt is slowly but surely gaining steam. Posted another sign by Gaston’s house, since I owed him one for yesterday. Bea gave me a nice table. Now I know I’d be upset if Gaston did this, but I neither had to run an errand or got in the mail after I threatened him, so it isn’t the same thing. Doesn’t quite fit in my house, though, so I put it in the basement. Have I mentioned that my personal logo pattern is now in the Grids section? You probably won’t like it as much as I do, but I said, ‘what the hey.’ Flash put up both my blue chair and dresser, but the blue bench is nowhere to be seen. Guess I’ll get it back soon. It’s raining on the island, and I forgot to leave an umbrella in the island house. Hey, if I leave NES games in the island house, could any human play them? What about take them? I just imagine setting up a ‘NES Club’ there somewhere, with all my NES games and Nintendo related items. Found a snail, which technically isn’t a bug, but Blathers accepted it anyway. Island trip turned out to be a good idea, ended up almost full of cash and with 3 30,000 Bell bags. A few more trips like that and Nook will bow before me! It’s always funny to get Blathers’ hopes up for a ‘priceless artifact’, then give him a bug. Hard to believe clams and oysters are related to slugs. Should do a DNA test or something. And to answer Blather’s question, no, while a snail without it’s shell may look like a slug, it technically would not be. At least, scientists don’t think they’ve identified a damaged snail as a new type of slug… I wonder what keeps the bee from stinging me when I visit? I got bit by a mosquito, while in the museum! But I can’t complain to Blathers while in person! They should keep the bug wing better lit, whether the insects like it or not! And what if I do step on their precious cockroach? Who’s that telling me not to, anyways? Wrote a letter of complaint to the museum, as well as sending some fossils from the island house.Came back around 8 to hear K.K. Parade, then left after putting the tune in my player.
Random thought: If Animal Crossing, that is just the US version of Animal Forest +, turns into a Zelda clone after the 20th year, would anyone know yet? Back to top
October 13, 2002
Bulletin Board said there was a Pitfall somewhere in the E-acres, so that was high on my to-do list. Must remember that Explorer Day is tomorrow, and Mushrooming afterwards. And Saahara’s coming on the 15th as well. Must admit that Prince looks stunning in his Rose Muumuu. Found some fruit, planted another orange tree. For some reason, playing tag with Nook and the pooch in the Lost and Found amuses me muchly. Migratory locust population slowly depleting. Bummer. Shook trees, got stung (gotta remember what I’m doing wrong…), caught a few migraine locusts, let far more jump into the water. Took a break. May start playing Excitebike more than this game. If so, my apologies in advance.
Random thought: What pattern should I make myself for Halloween? It's gotta look good as the same pattern on head and on my shirt, and go with my axe. Back to top
October 14, 2002
Got letters from Gaston and Gabi, with gifts. Almost makes me pity them. ALMOST. Wrote them letters back reminding them that they couldn’t buy me off, with subliminal messages (Punch-Out!!, Wario’s Woods, etc.) Gaston gave me the U.R. Here shirt, I thought it’d look cooler than that. Bea keeps telling me to not oversleep. If he only knew… Found Gulliver again. Wish I could come with him, I’ve learned enough from Kapp’n about how to protect myself from lonely sailors. I suddenly realize why it’s Explorer Day today. Makes making a European version all that much easier. That and Colombus was a jerk, apparently. Whatever, still should celebrate his luck to be put in such circumstances, or something. Tortimer mentioned Kapp’n, so I bet they’re related. I wonder how I can let him know that I am the REAL mayor… Nook had some cool space stuff today, and a circus shirt. Not that it makes up for what Gabi did. Ended up getting like 4 raffle tickets, plus a sign board of course. Decided to switch off sign boards between Gabi’s front yard and Gaston’s. Gaston’s today. Gulliver’s Chinese is pretty coo. Baabara is upset that I talk to people just to get items, or something. She should realize that she’s a snobbish fat sheep one of these days. Decided before playing that my Halloween costume should be Zombie LuWigi, which is my logo with holes where brains and guts are coming out. Best idea I could do for something that looks the same on one’s head, shirt, and arms. Cobb was acting weird, so I avoided him. I still wonder why my ability to get trees to grow has improved so much. Maybe it is the stepping on thing? One-trip jobs always give you those dang stationary things. I’m gonna need to make like 3 fruit trips whenever I get around to it. I knew I should’ve done it yesterday… Should I be fearless in demanding items from Gaston, or make sure I don’t get screwed over and ignore him altogether?
Came back later to do my fruit run. Neo was nice enough to give me a Luigi trophy (well, I did trade him 3 NES games, and sent a replacement because apparently the code didn’t work), so I now I can die happy in my game. Fruit run gave me 3 30,000 Bell bags and a full wallet, so pretty good. Still, gonna be awhile til it’s Game Over for Nook. Finally got someone (T-Bone) to ask me for a peach. Picked it from the ground, where it had been for about a day. He now worships me, so that’s a start. Also got Fang to call me ‘slap****’. Took long enough for someone else to ask. Called it a night soon afterwards.
Note to Self: Don’t accept jobs where a person gives you something to give to someone else.
Further Note to Self: Stop sacrificing time spent on this game for useless things like the real world!
Further Further thingy: Maybe blood-soaked costume better? Would go with axe. Back to top
October 15, 2002
Woke up early for the mushrooming thing. Yes, I let video games control my schedule now. Whoopitydoo! Searched to town numerous times over; 3 mushrooms. At least I can’t blame myself for coming in late. Heck, a lot of the animals were still asleep by their doors. Much more fruit around than I expected, and I think the coconuts are back, so you know what that means… Caught 4 migratory locusts, but of course Nook isn’t open yet. Lazy bum. Still, not bad catch for such a suicidal group of insects. Saw Saahara, should buy something from here this time.
Came back much later. Still want to see Sandy and Metal Sandy get it on already. Nook had some decent stuff, but nothing that I was interested in. I’m always relieved when Nook doesn’t have any new stationary. I’m sick of collecting that stuff. Nook’s willing to pay 5,000 for the shrooms, but if they’re that valuable to him, I’d better keep them, make him raise the price. Besides, I think I could find a way to use ‘em (What? Turn into Super LuWigi. Er, yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do with them, in a way.) Bea took my unwillingness to trade my flying saucer in stride. I knew there was a reason I like him. She gave me a boxing ring mat, which I like much. Gaston’s not smart enough to find a way out of his front lawn anymore. Victory for me! Pushed a soccer ball up a hill too. Put fruit on island, but decided to wait until tomorrow to get money, to maximize cash. Got close to Nsider, so took a break. Back to top
October 16, 2002
Went mushrooming, got 4 today before I couldn’t find any more, plus a heck of a lot of migratory locusts. Not surrounded by new fruit, but definitely some around. When will that dang golden shovel tree sprout already? Not even full grown yet. Must be Nook’s fault. Maybe Gaston too. Maybe I should sell the mushrooms once I’m a free man. Being a drug dealer takes too much work. Ground is slightly more brown and autumny, which is clear from the weeds. Much more new ones today than usual. Redd’s coming on the 18th! Whoopee!
Came back around noon. Fang tells me I always wear the same outfit, even though I was in my Camp Hyrule costume when he said it. Bought one candy from Nook, and a cool retro tv. Fruit slightly more than I can carry with one trip, plus I wanted to drop off a net for Flash. Thought he could get the floating things with it, even though I can’t. I was right! He eats the net bag, uses the net, catches the item, and drops it next time he eats a fruit. This tip brought to you in part by wariofan63. Unfortunately, he only got an orange, so I made him take it again and drop money. Result of island trip: 3 30,000 Bell Bags, at least 20,000 Bell in other bags. I’d say ‘w00t!’ right now, but I’m still not sure what it means exactly. Retro tv has a really nice beat.
Came back to do some trading, and now both Twiggy and Velma are wearing my shirt! Take that, 6-Ball! October 17, 2002
Getting sick of my early morning shroom runs. Found 4 in 20 min, two in the same place. Apple tree, orange tree, and one coconut sprouted fruit, along with a few pear trees. Was raining today, as well as outside I think, though I wasn’t about to turn my head and check. Decided my golden shovel tree might not be growing because of the rocks around it, broke an ax trying to get rid of a rock, but might have another. Found a fan at Nook’s store, as well as a cherry shirt which I liked. Note to self: Do not wear cherry shirt arou… nah, that’s going too far. Anyways don’t think I needed to visit Kapp’n today anyway. Really ran out of space to store fruit and shrooms. Had to send 4 fossils to Blathers, bury my kiddie couch, and now still can’t leave everythingin my inventory at home. Sprocket gave me a job, after going to Gaston herself, but since I only had to see one person, got stationary. She suggested I write a letter, so I told her I was claiming her immortal soul and reminded her that I owned her. I own Sue E., too, now that Sprocket gave her the shirt. Is the game smarter than I think, or is it just coincidence that only the females wear my shirt? At least, I think Sprocket’s a got feminine programming. Back to top
October 18, 2002
Mushroom thingy again, only found three though. Ended up putting fruit on my front lawn, I’m so goshdern out of room. I’m confident it’ll get better though, once I control Nook and not the other way around. T-Bone interrupted me when I was getting bonus money bags from a rock, then ran into his house, so he’s on my List now. Won’t destroy his front lawn, but he’s getting bopped every day from now on. Very excited about seeing Redd today, but forgot what time. Sandy and Sprocket finally met, and I think Sandy won the conflict, since Sprocket was angry afterwards. Did some shopping around noon, nothing special. Planted new shovel tree, but doubt it’ll grow. Decided it was time for a fruit run. Was it ever. Coconut trees and pear trees on island all sprouted fruit. You know, Redd should sell ‘insurance’ to Nook if I don’t do it first. Borrowed Flash’s net to catch a cicada. Decided to take a break before finishing island thing. Bea got upset when I told him I can keep track of where I bury stuff, thinking I was insulting him. Sorry, my puppy friend, but when you bury 25 other things in the same area, you tend to remember where they are. Still, should send him a present. I wish Flash would get sick of my blue stuff and give it back already. I wonder if sailors ever actually notice sea monkeys while sailing. Is this the first time I’ve heard Kapp’n say ‘Righty now’ when taking me to the island? Island trip, even though half the dang island was covered in fruit, and then cash, only gave me 1 30,000 Bell bag, and 90,000 in other bags. That’s not enough! I really got to convince Flash that I’m far more dangerous to him than Nook ever will be. Also, accidentally took Flash’s net, so missed an opportunity to get a cherry to plant. Calculated how much I had: I HAVE ENOUGH!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Hoo boy. Thought I didn’t for a minute, since I forgot the cost was closer to 800,000 Bell instead of 700,000, but after recalculating, realized I could pay that too! Anyways, YOU LOSE NOOK, YA DANG STUPID RACCOON!!! I OWN YOU NOW, FOOL!!! Oh come on, you knew I’d react like that. Anyhoo, I wish I could give Nook my t-shirt. Must make sure I don’t talk to him again until tomorrow, just to savor the moment.
Stopped by quickly to visit Redd's. Not only does he not want control of my mind, body, and soul, but his prices aren't nearly as bad as they say, and the totem pole I bought hasn't fallen apart in the second since I put it in the basement (good place for it, kinda like the Simpsons.) So, while he didn't have that 'Excotebike' I was looking for, Redd gets my seal of approval! Back to top
October 19, 2002
Nook decided to build a monument in my honor. Ha, nice try! Found out you can’t bury a balloon. Found an ‘amazing painting’ in the dump: appears to be a beach scene. Got to work selling the buried stuff. Nook’s sell-back prices are terrible, but I pity him enough to let it stand. Belle wants me to sell my house to build a shopping mall. Bonked her. Donated some fossils to Blathers, though I don’t donate dinosaur parts until I’m able to donate the entire specimen. Just a thing with me. Just realized the museum has been calling me ‘the esteemed LuWigi’. Bout time someone gave me the respect I deserve, unlike Sprocket, who is foolish enough to take my letter as a joke. I didn’t know that Brontosaurus and Apatosaurus are two different species of the Diplodocid genus, I just thought the description of Brontosaurus didn’t fit the animal for some reason, or that the same animal was called two different names, but for some reason in paleontological politics, the name Apatosaurus won out, even though Brontosaurus was the more popular. Oh well, now I’ve become Blathers. Anyhoo, ended up with all the one part fossils, a complete stegosaur, triceratops, and apatosaur. Two more joined the LuWigi’s ‘slave’ posse, Baabara and Bessie, leaving out all the males. This game is a smart cookie, or something.
Decided not to request anything from K.K. tonight, so I got K.K. Dirge, which I recognized as being from Gaston’s house, but good for any dungeon, dark castle, or the march of an evil army, preferrably a slow one. Back to top
October 20, 2002
Only 3 mushrooms today. Found a G(CN)-logo in the dump. The things people throw out… Went fruit collecting (have decided to sell peaches to Nook, all fruit Flash like I take to the island.) Talked to Bea, he gave me an easy trivia question as an excuse to give me furniture. It was a detour sign, though I already had it, but it was actually a small red one, not a tall orange one, useful for Feng Shui. I really gotta think of something nice to do for him. Nook threatened to make me pay for my monument (which is all shiny and all, but mostly useful as a place for all my ‘slaves’ to worship me.) Did some furniture rearranging, sent away some fossils. Really need to find time to shake trees one of these days. Back to top
October 21, 2002
4 mushrooms today. Cobb moved away, got replaced by an elephant who goes ‘WHONK!’ It’s named Axel, and gave me 9 Bell less than Nook for an apple, so I bonked her to heck. That’s gotta change right away. Pulled weeds, since a Master and Ruler of Shitton is useless without those that fear him and those that worship him. Lotta migratory locusts around again, as well as a couple gyroids. Saahara was wandering, decided to buy again. Absolutely had to do fruit thing today. Another golden shovel tree is growing, time to see if my theory was correct. Bought a sprinkler, don’t care if it should be in the house or not. Fang keeps warning me about people handing out either condoms or Kleenex, but I never seen them. Baabara tried to give me mushroom advice, but I turned it down. Important to look superior as the Master and Ruler of the town. Since Gaston and Gabi are both sealed in their homes, decided to post signs around Nook’s. Flash was stuck in his doorway for awhile. I blame the umbrella. Took me 5 frickin trips to get all the fruit on the island! Flash caught a treasure chest with a mosaic wall. Ended up with 7 30,000 Bell bags in total, plus pretty full wallet, so maybe I should do that more often. Deposited 200,000 Bell, decided I was extremely sick of the game, so I quit.
Did come back to get a carpet from Baabara called ‘closed road’. Not bad, but not phenomenal either. Back to top
October 22, 2002
Mushrooming went well today. Got 5 shrooms in a little under 5 minutes. Sandy mentioned something about a fishing contest, which Bea also mentioned as part of a trivia question (so it happens more than once a year.) I wonder why it’s not mentioned on the AC website. Bea delivered my DK Jr., just as I knew he would. Nook was selling a painting. Found out shaking the golden shovel tree doesn’t make the golden shovel come out. Maybe I’m right about the rock things. Nook’s been selling a hypno parasol for two days straight. Lazy bum. It’s raining again. Maybe it rains on the island a day before it rains here, I haven’t really been paying attention. Didn’t see much fruit around, so had time to shake trees and pick up stuff for my neighbors. Not that I did, but I could. Instead, played some DK Jr. That monkey sure can’t take a fall. Then decided to go to lunch, in the ‘real’ world that is.
Came back late to play some NES games, and donate a painting to Blathers. Paid 520 Bells to Baabara for a guessing game, got a cherry, and planted it. Still, doesn’t seem right to have to pay her when she’s wearing my outfit. Back to top
October 23, 2002
Just 4 shrooms today, didn’t think I’d find the fifth, so I wasn’t looking hard. Someone buried a piano, took me a bit to find since it was behind a rock. T-Bone gave me a cool totem pole, so I wrote him a letter that basically said ‘pretty cool gift, just don’t bother me while I’m bug hunting again’, and Bea’s been calling me his best friend. Bunch of fruit trees sprouted today, that’s kinda a relief, considering yesterday. Apparently Prince can’t sleep through rain. Still very hesitant to trust any of the animals. Did some errands anyway, shook some trees, did some fishing. Am still in habit of dropping things I get from animals that I already have, instead of selling them to Nook. Sue E. accused me of having my brain turn to goo, so I bonked her without, what was that word the animals use? Ah yes. Mercy. Donated a freshwater goby to Blathers, sold other fish to Nook (the ones in the sea he likes better), and decided it was nap time. I should make that Halloween costume already, and remind myself that Wendell comes tomorrow.
Went on a late night exploration of the town. Bea brushed me off, going to his house before I could talk to him, and leaving a message that he was sleeping when I tried to follow. I suppose he could be both blind and a quick sleeper, but now I’m worried. The weirdest thing happened: I was running through a part by the river, and Gaston suddenly appeared where I had just been! I was there to witness him suddenly appear, and I’m certain he didn’t just come from the edge of the screen. I guess I know what this means: my quarantine of Gaston has motivated him to study the black arts! Anyway, I bonked him. Tried my hand at a 10,000 Bell tree. Rearranged my house a bit. Finally made my Halloween pattern, turned out quite well, according to my test in the comforts of my home. Now I don’t regret not taking advantage of my hairstyle for a more demonic costume… Bonked Fang, since I was getting sick of his grumpiness. It stopped raining when I left the Able Sisters. Sue E. tried to get me to buy a peach (though she wouldn’t tell me it was a peach) for over 1,500 Bell, so I bonked her. Had trouble finding Wispy. Finally remembered why I came back, and donated the complete Pteranodon fossil to Blathers. His cry of ‘Screee…SCHWAAAH!!!’ actually made me chuckle this time, as he again became to engrossed in telling about the creature. The amber, by the way, keeps reminding me of the Triforce at a certain angle. Went fishing some more, finally caught an old shoe again. Decided to mail it to Gaston. Then decided Wispy wasn’t coming, so I called it a night. Back to top
October 24, 2002
Did my rearranging after midnight, so I guess that explains why the HRA wouldn’t contact me, but what about Nook? Weird. 4 shrooms today. Found a track model in the dump, nothing special, just a piece of railroad. Decided to drop off fruit. Golden shovel tree is only as big as my other one, which it has been for the past two days, so I’m getting worried. And my 10,000 Bell tree is dying. Coconut trees and pear trees on island were in, so I decided it was island-fruit run time. Caught a (non-spotted) ladybug on the island, donated it of course. Whoever wrote Flash’s line about pain bringing suffering, which in turns brings compassion, needs help, did I mention that? Anyway, Flash finally gave me back my blue chair, and then he ate more money bags than I would have wanted. Did end up picking up 5 30,000 Bell bags, but I figure there’d be more if he hadn’t eaten the money bags, since the island was more covered in fruit than before. Convinced Flash that the best way to invite a lady to dance was to call here ‘@$$clown’, and I was on my way. Link never spent a night in a Hyrulian prison, did he? Well there was the Gerudo one, but I don’t think he had the same experience there that Kapp’n must have. After selling some fossils and making a deposit, I called it a day. Back to top
October 25, 2002
Last day of shroomin, and all I can find are 3. Ah well. Will be nice to sleep in. Learned fishing contest is every Sunday in November. Hope it’s easy, I want prizes. Grow, ya stupid golden shovel tree! Found a bear-faced shirt in the dump, and T-Bone gave me a Hawaiian shirt, so now I can make people wonder whether I’m gay or a big fat party animal. Bought more from Nook than usual, and cut down my old golden shovel tree (was secretly hoping to find a golden shovel inside.) Thought I’d have to go to the island just to get storage space, but never got around to it.. Katrina the fortune teller’s coming to town soon. Certainly worth checking out, though if she predicts my roof will change colors, she’s dead. Found Gulliver, his prize was as usual large and strange. Still no Manaken Pis though, bummer again. Realized later that I forgot to pick up a signboard, but I got sick of doing that anyway. Back to top
October 26, 2002
Didn’t go to town until around dinner time. Nook sold a ping pong set and a mop. Been so long since the Lost and Found had anything new, I wonder if it’s somehow my fault. Got the last piece I needed for my Tyrannosaurus Rex in the mail. Finally dropped off some items on the island house, and picked up some fossils to have Blathers identify. My cherry tree grew! For the price Nook is willing to pay, red snappers sure are easy to find. Realized I’d have to make another trip to the island for storage, but quit the game after donating the Tyrannosaur to Blathers.
Pushed Prince around, turned his boom box off, and played his pianos repeatedly, since he assumed I was as fat as him when trying to sell me a shirt for a ridiculous price. Realized the rain had stopped after I came to the island, where it was raining. Requested Super Mario Bros. from K.K. just to get a free tune, then dropped off fruit at the island. When I came back, I decided on Café K.K. Requested some other nonsense first though. Afterwards, called it a night.
You know, maybe I should stop hitting the animals whenever they slightly offend or anger me…
NAH!!! Back to top
October 27, 2002
Remember, for accuracy’s sake, Daylight Savings Time started on Sunday at 2 am in some areas.
Katrina was here today, but didn’t find her for some reason. Got bad at catching migratory locusts since I let myself sell fish to Nook, but got better fast. If my ‘mother’ seriously believes that I would be within 5 feet of Caramel-Covered Goo Nummies, she is sadly mistaken. I still get nervous when Sprocket acts caffeine-wired. Chopped down a tree to plant a golden shovel tree. This one WILL grow to full height, dang it! Had to shove Bea to make him stop chasing my migratory locust. There’s a lot of them out today, by the way. Did I mention placing two gyroids face-to-face looks cool? Why’d I have to be so dang successful with fruit tree growing? Stupid giant fruit run every 3 days! Maybe I’ll stop once I’m a millionaire, but none of the animals eat the fruit or anything like that. When will those peaches go rotten already? I’ve got neighbors to send them to! Got lazy in making sure Flash didn’t eat any money bags, so ended with no 30,000 Bell bags!!! Brought home 4 from the other bags though, but still a long ways from becoming a millionaire. Came back in search of Katrina, but to no avail after an hour. Baabara wants to start a soccer team, but we need the entire town to get involved. Found a Pitfall in a scavenger hunt. Got 2 boots fishing. Thought about dropping them by Gaston’s, but more fun to mail them.
Finally got to see Katrina around 9. Is she gonna give me that Triforce behind her or not (yeah, I know, symbol is for more than the Triforce, whatever.) Got the ‘some good things will happen, some bad things will happen’ fortune. At least I finally have a cat visiting my town! Played some NES games, danced with a gyroid, then called it quits. Back to top
October 28, 2002
The rain doesn’t let up, yet I appear to be tanning. Maybe I just need a bath. Collecting totem poles sure does take up a lot of room. I should plant some flowers, place looks dull without them, and it makes it easier to catch some bugs. Fang got upset when I told him I wouldn’t get his camera from Gaston. Well I’m not about to tear down my signs just to see him, I can tell ya that much! Anyway, I wonder if the pigs in other towns get upset when people say ‘you filthy swine!’ to others. Katrina’s still around, so I guess she stays 24 hours like Redd. I’ve got to remember not to carry anything valuable when talking to the neighbors. Two tried to make me an offer for the stuff today, so I know one’s gonna try to force me into a deal. Golden shovel tree’s off to a start. I’ve been muting Kapp’n’s songs for the last couple of weeks. Dropped off some items at my island house for storage. Flash gave me back my blue bench. No fruit on the trees today, but that’s to be expected, since it does seem to be on a three day cycle. Although sea bass and red snappers appear about as often as each other in the sea, Nook delights in paying a lot for red snappers and next to nothing for sea bass. Anyway, did some fishing and ran some errands while searching for the money rock of the day, which I found, but didn’t get to my record of 1 10,000 Bell bag. Ace is wearing my shirt, that’s a little weird… Sold the fish and other stuff, like the wallpaper I got that I already had, and took a break. Back to top
October 29, 2002
Animal Crossing e-cards are apparently out, though I thought they should’ve been out by the 25th. Anyway, prolly gonna be awhile before I get my hands on some. Is the rain outside causing the rain in the game, or is it vice-versa? Bea still wants me to play the ‘Mystery Item for a Mystery Price’ game. Prince found a complex way to call me a cancer, but I figured him out and bonked him. Tied my record on the money rock. Fang wanted privacy in his house, but I was on an errand, and he can’t get away from me that easily. Didn’t think there was that much fruit around at first, was I ever wrong. Weeds are starting to annoy me. Velma convinced Twiggy to change costumes, so of course I bonked her. Baabara tried to hide from me when I found her picture book, but I found her soon enough. Luckily, elephant face took up her slack. At least I think that’s a female… But then, Fang started wearing my shirt?!? Oh well, I’m flattered anyhow. Island trip for fruit drop off and storage. I’ll probably have more storage after Halloween, unless I’m efficient at running away. They better be better at chasing than Nook or Booker. Flash got stuck in the door again. Sold Flash the blue cabinet I got from Baabara. Kapp’n believes you should avoid strange women. It’s okay, dude, I think they make a cream for that. Fruit drop-off took awhile, but it’d take longer tomorrow. Once that was done, I downloaded the pattern maker from the Able Sisters (in order to make manually copying my Halloween costume to my computer easier) and quit. Back to top
October 30, 2002
Trees, ground, and weeds have turned a darker, more rich red. I refused to pay T-Bone for his saw horse, so I got it for free. That’s when I learned that a saw horse is a warning barrier often placed on roads during construction. I probably should have known that. Game’s really not teaching me the right lesson… It finally stopped raining, so it’s gyroid and migratory locust day as well as island trip today. Nook has his raffle today, followed by a stupid sale on the 1st, so I MUST become a millionaire today! Bought a train car model from Nook, realized it went with the track. Must be a hard collection to complete. Also bought a flip top desk, so I could read what was written on it, but still only know that someone whose name starts with a t loves someone else. Managed to talk myself into buying a shirt to round my collection of raffle tickets up to a multiple of five, so I better win every dang prize Nook has!!! My golden shovel tree is one stage before full-grown! Hey, wait a second… why are the pine and palm trees reddish brown? Realized palm trees have to be planted right on the border between the beach and the grass. Therefore, it can only be planted at areas that aren’t completely flat, places with a slight bend. Doesn’t seem all that fair. I think the amount of fossils increase after rain as well (would make sense, with erosion, except for the Xs that are complete nonsense.) Went to the island for storage and fruit dropoff. Flash bought the blue bench again. His inability to be content with his pad is to my advantage as always. Apparently I’m winning the Fall Fishing tourney, even though it hasn’t started yet. I think Fang’s just nuts. As I wait on my 5th trip from the island today, I think I should say this: don’t be like me. For Miyamoto’s sake, don’t take hours delivering fruit just to make Bell in a silly game. I hear that thing called the real world can be pretty sweet sometimes. It is too late for me, but you can still save yourself! Now that I’ve said that, one more message: BEWARE, NOOK! WHO DO YOU THINK WILL HAVE THE LOYALTY OF YOUR RACCOON GOONS ONCE I’M A MILLIONAIRE?!? MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! I think this is my biggest fruit dropoff, but I’m not sure. Anyway, prolly won’t even end up with 100,000 Bell, but I’ll find a way to get the other 50,000. Bea accidentally impersonated Tom Nook, or something, and got upset when I went along with it. Well I thought it was funny… Managed to not have Flash eat a single bag, to my knowledge, but missed some fruit as a result. Stupid trees. Doesn’t matter though, got 7 30,000 Bell bags (it’s either 3 found and 4 accumulated or the other way around, I can’t remember for sure.) Now is where I celebrate, except I feel tired. Well, I still have the energy to do this… YAY!!!! I DON’T GOT TO DO NO DANG FRICKIN’ ISLAND TRIPS NO MORE!!! SO LONG, FLASH, YA VAIN BIRD WHO IS TOO STUPID TO TELL FRUIT FROM MONEY!!! Maybe I should limit caps-lock to once per diary entry. Well, whatever. Mentally dulled (is that the equivalent of physically exhausted?) from my work, I deposited the cash and called it a day. So yes, I am a now millionaire, you may now bow before me or try to con me out of Bell. And no, I am not Hispanic, I’ve just been on the island, but thanks for asking. Seeing Twiggy in army fatigues as I saved and quit cracked me up. Back to top
October 31, 2002
A tissue. 1 million Bell, and all I get is a dang tissue?!? GAAH!!! Worse still, I’ve learned that the ultimate prize is at 999 million. Well I’ll get it someday, and I won’t let the fruit go to waste (no matter how much I hate the trip), but right now I think I’ll focus on Feng Shui and tidying up the town. Especially the second, since Fang left. Now I have no jerk to insult me but not paint my roof! And he took his house with him, no replacement. Oh, and Happy Halloween. I put on my costume after I got the mail, since no one tells me when Halloween starts, especially not the foolish animals. I collected my 35 raffle tickets and went to Nook’s. He had a white piano, a robot boombox, and a plant. All of which stink, but whatever. Won the third prize on my first try, then 6 where I won nothing. Nook, you will burn for this. Ran into him repeatedly, then posted ‘NOOK PHEARS LUWIGI!!!111’ (yes, including the ones), and signed it A. Nony Mouse. I forget, do I have a plum bonsai already? My golden shovel tree is full grown!!!! Then I shook it, and got my golden shovel!!!!! My character did a victory arm raise, and all was happy, except of course my enemies. I really gotta hire Nook’s goons already, I wonder where they live? Why is my golden shovel grey on the end. If it’s because I should have left it in the tree an extra day, I’m going to scream. Anyway, after digging up all the leaf furniture I could find that I had buried (I knew there was a reason other than laziness that I didn’t sell them to Nook), I rushed over to the island. While burying items, I dug up 100 Bells. I guess that’s what the golden shovel is good for. Did it thrice before I was done. Forget whether Flash does his thing while on GBA or when not watched, so I tried not watched first. That didn’t work, so tried GBA. Worked, but Flash couldn’t reach the top line of items. Got some great items, but no NES games, so I buried what duplicates I had and tried again. That Papa Bear is huge! I find Blathers pronounces things best, while other I can correlate speech with words less often (donated a longhorn beetle I found on the island.) 3 island trips later, no NES games. This is gonna be harder than I thought… Did make an effort to pull weeds today, but I should plant flowers too. Stupid Nook. The problem is I’ve got such great and interesting items, so I’m not willing to sacrifice them for what I really want, Wario’s Woods.
While taking a break, I realized how stupid I was. I needed some junk furniture to bury, and that’s easy enough to find, all I need to do is the stupid errands! Twiggy told me that Axel’s actually a guy, so I guess Fang wasn’t the one to start the male faction. Still, I’ll miss him, and the name I got him to call me. While doing favors, I got a hint from Belle that a new neighbor’s around, named Static. Found her house. She’s a blue squirrel, probably from outer space, with the most disgusting picture I have ever seen. It’s of the most unholy and hated, and he’s smiling! Ick! Then she forced me into a sale. Why do I always have to be the one to punish the evil and demonic? I hate being the angel of death, but who else will? I know the picture should have clued me to her nature, but I’m blaming her anyway. Wrote her a letter informing her of the situation, called her a Nooklover. Yeah, I know, harsh, but I can’t let this sort of stuff happen. Too bad the trees chopped down by her house won’t help keep the other neighbors. Nor will the signs boarding up her house. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! Gulliver shows up more and more often… Got a Chinese lioness to go with the lion. Baabara made me go to Gaston’s to complete my quest, so I bonked her thrice. Still, it’s Bea’s item, so I have to make a daring rescue into enemy territory. Apparently Gaston tried to kill me, since he was surprised that I’m still alive. Anyway, couldn’t repost my image on the signboard, since Gaston left his house. Bea was the first to give me a piece of furniture. Then he gave me another when I just chatted with him! I can’t say enough to show how great it is to have him in my town. Apparently, digging up the 1,000 Bell in shiny spots with the golden shovel upgrades it to 10,000 Bell. Baabara wanted me to ‘join her wrestling club’, but I never really liked her that way. All right, Belle having cow skin clothes was spooky, but an elephant with a freakin’ piano?!? Hopefully it’s made of something else. Anyway, I ran out of job opportunities with one more piece of furniture. Super bummer. Called it a day once I realized it was almost time for Nsider and I forgot to leave the golden shovel on the island.
Of course I came back for Halloween. Got caught twice with cheap shots even before finding Jack, but I never gave up any candy, at least not until I found him. Watched Gaston, Gabi, and Static try desperately to get out of their cages and catch me. Sprocket doesn’t realize that I WAS in costume! I worked hard on that thing! Getting caught is too easy for the animals, don’t even have to touch me. Realizing I could only find Jack once, I decided to work on getting my extra rag clothling turned to good stuff, so dropped off my candy.
Took a short break, picked up a piece of candy I dropped to get an item from Tortimer that was covered in bugs. Then I dropped it again, because I realized I might have found a way to expand my insect collection… Sure enough, caught an ant when I used my net on it (which I had brought to bash the annoying trick or treaters, who keep giving me the same two items.) Went to taunt Gabi, but she somehow trick or treated me from behind the signs I had posted. Found Jack again… Hmmm… didn’t have candy for him, so he got upset, messed up my clothes, and said ‘My power doesn’t end there.’ Thank Miyamoto I found my house the same color. Somehow Gaston got a friend stuck in his heckhole. Bea caught me when a tree blocked my view, so I gave him candy, then bonked him, but his dang pumpkin head protected him. I love ya, puppy, but tomorrow you will feel my wrath. It will hurt me more that it will hurt you. Well, not really. Decided that since I do it all the time for trading, I should save, quit, and find that Jack again. Had someone turn an ant (already donated one) to a Jack O’ Lantern. Poor ant. Found Jack in a new location, so I think he does show up in random spots even after giving you something. Finally got sick of trying to find Jack. So called it a very long day.
Tomorrow, the trick or treaters will pay. Count on it! Back to top
November 1, 2002 I made it my business to bonk all those who came in my path for last night, though I talked to Bea afterwards to show that there were no hard feelings. Nook won’t buy Jack O’ Lanterns or patched shirts, but 1,000 Bell for jack-in-the-boxes. Not bad, considering he buys back candy for 25 Bell. That’s when I remembered I could bury them on the island. Why was I not born with a brain that can remember these things?!? November tickets are purple, and you can’t reorder spooky items that you received. Started around noon, then took a long break until late at night. Tried to find some way to store all my junk. Decided to place candy in front of Nook’s in order to cultivate ants for quick cash. It’s like an ant garden, or something. Collected fruit, went to the island with what little furniture I had, including some extra jack-in-the-boxes (anyone who calls them jacks-in-the-box is a doofus) and the fruit for a drop off/Wario’s Woods try. I wonder if Flash actually does dance the rumba with someone named LuWigi. No, I think his brain’s broke. Anyway, I forgot to drop off my golden shovel (I just love it too much, so I left Flash to his own whims while I came back to Shitton in order to return to the island (kinda ironic, really.) He immediately picked up the net, so fruit eating wasn’t a problem. Off topic, there are those that don’t believe in the fabled Super Mario Bros. and the original Legend of Zelda, but I am not one of those people. Perhaps it will take a memory card with the entire game on it in order to play, but I believe that one day, such a thing will be in our American Animal Crossing. I wonder where Flash gets all this cool stuff… I guess he has his connections. Oh wait, I forgot. Being a gigolo does tend to bring you in contact with some seedy people. Anyway, he gave me some stuff that either I already had or didn’t care whether I had in my collection (watermelon chair.) If turtles don’t have anything under their shells (turtles such as Kapp’n, not the real thing) ,does that mean there’s no back to Kapp’n’s shirt and vest? How odd. And that’s when I realized that Kapp’n was a play on Kappa, which I think is Japanese for turtle (and then there’s Kame, and I think Nokonoko, Japanese for koopa troopa, is also connected to turtle somehow, so maybe noko also means turtle. In other words, there are 3 words for turtle that I know of in that language, and I don’t know why. Different forms/subsets of the language?) Would be nice to see leaves falling and blowing around in the game. Could be right pretty. After dropping to 1 item of furniture that I didn’t think was cool, I called it a night. Apparently, a vibraphone and xylophone are very similar. Why is Flash trying to buy the kitschy clock he buried with my golden shovel?
I most likely will not be updating today or tomorrow, since I shall be taking a trip to one of Nintendo’s Cube Clubs. My apologies, but at least it’s not for a lame reason like having an funeral to attend or going on a vacation, you know, something that people with lives would use as an excuse. Back to top

November 2, 2002 I was wrong, had time to play AC today. Just realized I missed Nook’s sale of carpets. Ah well, Saharah definitely could beat his selection blindfolded. She(He?)’s coming on November 4th, by the way. Why do the shiny spots always occur right next to trees nowadays. AND WHY WON’T SOMEONE DROP SOMETHING NEW OFF AT THE LOST AND FOUND?!? Bea offered to make me some nachos. I must be in some sort of Beavis and Butt-head fantasy world. Except I think then Bea would be a busty 18 year old in a bikini. Sue E. had an idiotic theory about muscle tendons freezing up when it’s cold out, so that’s why you can’t move them. At least, I think it’s due to your blood…. Finished up my after-Halloween bonkings. Bought a mochi pestle, whatever the heck it is, because it reminded me of Monster Rancher. Also got a ringside table! Of course, the chances of the complete boxing ring set turning into an enterable arena, where I could throw Nook out of the ring and through the table (to a loud pop, of course) is next to nil, but I can dream, can’t I? Just realized that reordering an arwing would cost me 25,600 Bells. I have to track whoever gave it to me and get him or her every item I ever thought was worth trading that I have. Prince again tells me he’s moving away soon. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and start clearing out where there’s too many trees. Yup, that’s what I decided to do. At least the game realizes when a chopped down tree hits a wall, instead of having it go through the wall. Practiced a bit with the speed bag I got from a trade. Then planted some flowers by Bea’s house. Turns out you can reorder stuff you got from Flash from Nook. Belle gave me a slot machine for a fish, so that was cool. Slot machine don’t work right though. Got 3 7s twice, no prize, then it keeps doing 2 7s and a bell (no, not Bell.) Too bad I’ll miss the bass fishing thing. At least, I think it’s only for bass. Caught a purple emperor butterfly on the island, which I went to for fruit dropoff/Wario’s Woods try. Angry and upset that I still had no NES games, I happened to read on’s Animal Crossing board a better way to get the games, written by Mew2baby. Expensive furniture, make him happy with fruit, you can tell because he plants a grey box. So I ordered 2 Arwings and a Luigi trophy. Bell is not a problem for me, as you know. Apparently, Flash can use my golden shovel to plant flowers. Neat, I guess. After multiple tries, since even the Arwings didn’t work, and ordering of 7,000, 5,000, and 3,000 Bell items, two NES games were mine. I rushed back with fear in my heart, since Baseball is probably a dumb game (I like the GB version though.) Sure enough, two Baseballs. I curse the Animal Crossing gods here and now, may Mantorock keep them imprisoned for all eternity!!! Plus it’s got the same music as Soccer. Since it’s completely untradeable, I don’t know why, but I kept both copies. Oranges, according to Bell Flash dropped, are not Flash’s favorite fruit. I tried a second time, with pears, AND IT WORKED!!!!! YESSSS!!!!! Weird thing about the game: Advance Play is an option, but once you click it, it says ‘I can’t play Wario’s Woods on my Game Boy Advance.’ Too much data, I guess. I hope Punch-Out!! isn’t the same way, if I ever figure out how to get it. The cover is very recognizable, with big ol’ Wario against a forest background. Again mentally exhausted, and having forsaken my feed fruit to Flash duties (though I did get some Bell, even a 30,000 Bell bag), I called it a day, content to have probably the only NES game in AC to have come out after the Super NES. On a side note, I picked up the SNES version for about 10 bucks a couple of years ago. I actually enjoy it in 2-player mode a bit more than Tetris Attack, which gets too frantic for my tastes. Back to top
November 3, 2002
Managed to get some playing time in today late at night. On another note, the Cube Clubs are nice, but they would be better with 50% less people, and no music so I could hear the dang games!!! Only got to play 1080, Mario Party 4, and NFL2k3 (as a favor to those I was with, I stink a sports games.) Back to the game, bought many things from Nook, who was still open, like a lunar rover, a painting of Washington crossing the Delaware, called classic painting, and army fatigues. I searched the town, pulled weeds, and talked to Officer Copper. Same items in the Lost and Found, Saharah tomorrow. I figure I should warn you now that if I get my way, this page may turn into a Phantasy Star Online Episode I&II fan page instead. I can’t get the game out of my head, and I don’t even have it! Eh, but then the doodles wouldn’t be as funny. Or would they? Do money trees only sprout ‘fruit’ once? If so, bummer (if not, then goody-goody.) Baabara won the dang fishing contest that I missed. Congrats, ya fat cow! (Oh, have I accidentally offended Belle? Too bad, grass-muncher!) Anyway, bonked Baabara a buncha times. Donated my classic painting to Blathers, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember donating the rare painting that it says I did. Maybe I never bothered to look at it. Hey, you think Washington was in Animal Forest +? If I was French (which actually helped out the Americans during the Revolution), I wouldn’t care about such a painting. Did I mention I make it my business to bother the late at night Post Office lady? Just running around in circles is made fun by her frown. Rearranged my house, but couldn’t resist playing Wario’s Woods. That game is 10 times as complex as all the other NES games in my collection. More colorful too. Ah, the days when NES games tried their darndest to look like SNES games. You know, Gaston sounds like he’s speaking German. I guess everyone who has a black mustache must be a Nazi. Wait, the mirror tells me otherwise. Back to top
November 4, 2002
Came in a bit early, so heard a new tune I liked better than the usual. Felt I had nothing better to do after going to Nook’s, the dump, Officer Copper, Bea, and Saharah, so I decided to drop off fruit. Ended up making a whole fruit run, but this time I tried dividing up each fruit, so that Flash would eat all the pears, then the oranges, then the apples, etc., to learn what fruit he liked best and whether this plan actually affected what sort of Bell I got. Well, he seems to like cherries a little more, and it appears that my plan causes me to get less Bell, since I ended with 90,000 in bags. Perhaps it’s just that there wasn’t as much fruit as usual. Not much to say other than that, since Flash appears to have thrown me off enough to not be certain he’s working for Nook, and why would Nook try to stop me at this stage of the game? It just doesn’t make any sense. I mean, I’m already both free and a millionaire. What could he be up to?
Back to top
November 5, 2002
Got a letter from ‘home.’ ‘Mom’ wanted to know if I had made any friends, whether they were hooligans, and if I had anyone "SPECIAL", since she and ‘Dad’ wanted grandkids. And now, here is what I would tell her, if I only knew her address:
Dearest Mom,
I’m glad you asked, actually there is someone SPECIAL. I hope you’ll be waiting at your
mailbox around nine months from now or so, since that’s when I’ll send the pictures of
your half-man, half-pig grandkids! Also, how’s your love life going? Is it still ‘ACTIVE’?
								P.S. Please send pictures.
Seriously, who am I supposed to procreate with around here? The fat cow or the ugly cow? Maybe I should get people to move in. Shook some trees, got stung for the first time in awhile. That snobby Giraffe’s coming to town on the 7th, and Nook wasn’t selling jack. It’s Mayor’s Day, and I had no idea. Stupid non-updating! Anyway, Tortimer thinks that because I came out to see him and he gave me a well model, he gets to stay for another year. Poor deluded fool… The wheels of the LuWigi for Mayor (vote me or get bonked) are in motion… Collected fruit and did some fishing, but not much to say about that.
Came back at night, mostly cuz my diary entry looks dry. Realized that Static sounds like Gaston, so that also accounts for his jerkiness. He also sounds like Fang, though, so it’s not proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is (that would be the fact that he forced me to buy something in poor ol’ Redd’s name.) Mailed some letters, and since it was during the night, bothered the pink pelican. Why is everyone else in this town a jerk too? Well I guess when you decide to move to a place called Shitton… Twiggy finally caught on that I’m avoiding him. Didn’t want to drop off fruit at the island, so I called it a night after a minute of Wario’s Woods. Back to top
November 6, 2002
It’s snowing, just as it was yesterday night in the real world. Dang, they’re good. Do I have any long sleeve shirts? So it’s snowing, and I still have a tan… I have still have no idea what the fishing sign that tells me to ‘pull, then push’ means. Apparently, some migratory locusts are still around. Visited island, it’s probably time for a fruit thingy, and got my tan back in no time. Kapp’n wouldn’t let me go back right after dropping off fruit, something about getting manly so I could, as he said with hesitation, get the ladies. Then when I bothered him again he said he needed some time to himself, if I got his drift. Good ol’ Kapp’n… Then he tried to cover his tracks by claiming I could find a bikini-clad island beauty which he (er,) wanted me to bring to him.
Came back again at night, this time late. Got letters from Static and Gaston, Gaston sounded like he gave me a gift, but none was there. I smell a rat… It’s still snowing, but not sticking. Finished my fruit run, and while I thought that either Flash had become good at telling fruit from money or I had become good at making sure Flash didn’t eat the money bags, he still snuck one by me. That doofus. It’s very difficult to hear Kapp’n say that he likes the cut of my gib without being reminded of the episode of the The Simpsons where Homer takes control of a submarine after the captain gets sent out the torpedo chute. Ended up with 210,000 Bell in 30,000 Bell bags, though it looked like I wouldn’t get nearly as much until the last 10 bags or so. 4 found, 3 accumulated. I wasn’t planning to have like 10,000,000 Bell before New Years, but who knows, maybe I’ll reach it anyway. The snow stopped at midnight, and I found Wisp. This time the Controller (cute) has put Wisp to the task of finding the freed spirits and returning them to the pit of Hades. Can’t push Wisp over water for some reason. Why does my box of spirits look like there’s a bug inside? Got a tall sputnoid from Wisp. Note to self: Bonk Wisp next time. Afterwards, it was time for sleep. You know, Static is a pretty cute lil’ squirrel for an evil, Nook-worshipping jerk. Back to top
November 7, 2002
Apparently, you can find gyroids after a snowfall. Lot of fruit around for the first day after my fruit trip. Gracie’s around today, and Bea is out and about. Confirmed that golden shovels do sometimes give you 10,000 Bell from shiny spots, buried the bag again and waited for the tree to grow. Gracie says she loves my bod, so maybe the pictures I send to ‘Mom’ will be half-giraffe mutants instead. Artic camo for my hard work washing the illegally parked car, at least I can get pleasure out of watching Gracie try so hard not to flinch as I crack my net over her noggin again and again. Or maybe bonking her car brings her more pain, doesn’t matter. The HRA didn’t give me a point rating, just advice. Odd, no? Didn’t have much to do after Gracie, Nook, and fruit collecting (never found the money rock for some reason), so I called it a day.
Came back at 5 to talk to Pete. Apparently there’s trouble in paradise, since he mentioned something about the more evil Pelican being cold to him. More importantly, though, he flew away before I could bonk him. I’ll get ya, ya arrogant turd! My sunset shirt is quite pretty at sunset. How… unironic. I would very much like to push Twiggy in after the balls he always drops into the pond. Sent some letters to Bea for top-secret reasons, then called it a day. Back to top
November 8, 2002
It’s raining. I guess November is sometimes a mix of snow that doesn’t stick and rain. No wonder I hate it so much. Nook wasn’t selling much, Chip reminded me that the fishing tourney is this Sunday on the bulletin boards. Baabara’s going down. Someone please make those dang useless balls go away… Much fruit around today, is this the second or third day in my fruit cycle? Trees at the island say it’s the second day, but isn’t my cycle off due to the Cube Club? Wrote Flash another poem, about how a woman is like a flower in that you shouldn’t step on either. On that note, don’t stop and smell the women either, they usually give you a funny look, if not worse.
Came back around 5, but missed Pete. Got Clu Clu Land D again in the mail, but got so into the game that I forgot that I turned it off when I was done, instead of pressing L,R, and Z. I knew my lack of sleep in the real world would catch up to me. Ah well, another visit from Resetti will do me good. The dumb mole wanted me to say ‘I cheated’, but when I typed ‘You cheated’, he wouldn’t accept it! I wonder if he ever doesn’t tell people not to stay up late. Well anyway, after 3 tries, he went away without getting me to do anything. So I repeated getting and playing the game, then called it a day. Back to top
November 9, 2002
Got in late, listened to K.K. Chose Rockin’ K.K. because someone in an AOL Instant Messenger chat liked it. So much like a real song, but I can’t put my finger on what. Also came in time for Nook’s bought some stuff to have it added to my catalog, but wasn’t interested in having it in my house at that point, so immediately sold back some of it. The mail brought me shame, since the HRA was crazy enough to raise my rating to over 50,000. I resisted that for awhile, but I’m still running out of room!!! Went by the dump and Officer Copper (Wendell on the 10thk, no new lost and found items.) Fruit, FRUIT EVERYWHERE!!! ARRRRGHHH!!!! Spent awhile collecting it. Rockin K.K.’s actually good from my stereo too. Decided to do the fruit thing, but let Flash take care of turning the fruit into money. Found out he eats money bags even when you leave him alone, so I took over for a bit. Still ended up with 8 30,000 Bell bags though. After depositing, I called it a day, with enough junk on the floor to drop my HRA rating. Back to top
November 10, 2002
Woke up early for the fishing tourney. Thought that all I could catch were bass, but I found a new kind of trout and some other fish too. Caught a large bass, but since I never caught one before I kept it for Blathers. Luckily, I caught another one after awhile, beating Baabara’s record and winning myself… a 9 Ball shirt. Ah well, at least I beat her. Bonked her with my net too, but she didn’t notice. Also, the mayor gave me a fishing trophy, so while it’s not the same as winning it, at least I got one. Found out in my mail that despite my best efforts, Axel moved away. Ah well, Hambo, his replacement, is pretty cool, since he didn’t try to force me into any sort of deal. Sent him a letter telling him to ignore the rumors about me being a tormentor, that if he didn’t screw with me, I wouldn’t screw with him. Then I proved I was lying by sending him a can I had caught while fishing. Decided to bring some items I had bought to the island, but took a break before completing that. Also, gave a fish to Wendell, got a backgammon wallpaper. Joan’s around, but haven’t decided whether of not to deal with her.
Came back around 5, dropped off the items on the island and dug up some fossils and gyroids. Not much to say about that. Back to top
November 11, 2002
Much mail today. Lost some points on HRA scale, got fossils I already had, my ‘mom’ is burning leaves where apparently you can with a permit (yeah, right.) My tan’s finally going away. Nook was selling the drinking bird! YES!!!!!! Found a ‘puzzling shirt’ (a.k.a. Rubik’s Cube shirt but we can’t say Rubik’s Cube because it’s copyrighted) in the dump, and bought a ski sweater from Nook, so maybe I’m a little warmer now (it’s snowing again.) Sprocket buried a Super Toilet!! Would have wanted to have one before, but a super toilet and a drinking bird in one day really ain’t bad. Did some rearranging of my house again, so the drinking bird now drinks from my sprinkler. Didn’t have much time for AC today, so I called it quits after my house was to my liking. Back to top
November 12, 2002
Apparently, I missed Officers’ Day. Stupid real world and its interference in my affairs!!!! Now should I trade with someone who might have gotten an extra through dubious means, or wait until next year? Then again, maybe it’s more than once a year. The HRA doesn’t like my house, and I don’t care. Not much at Nook’s got a new shirt and a country guitar though. A day after it snows, it rains, even though the bulletin board says expect snow. Bea gets anxious when I don’t visit at the usual hour. Poor guy. He gave me an imperial wall, so that’s coo. I feel like a prince now, @$$clown. I mean… I gotta stop visiting Flash. Hambo seems like a pretty nice guy, but it’d be foolish to trust him. Found my first shiny spot that wasn’t too close to other things to plant a money tree in many a day. I can’t believe it’s already time for another fruit trip. Is there a limit on the amount of coconut trees you can have? The new ones I plant don’t shrivel, they just disappear… Maybe I’m planting them too close? Sold some stuff to Nook, then took a trip to the island for storage purposes. Bea wants me to take him to another village. I would if I could… Katrina’s coming again tomorrow. A lying, fraudulent cat who knows she’s not a fortune teller but gives fortunes anyway is better than no cat at all, I always say. Ended up expanding one of my burying spots after I realized I couldn’t reorder gyroids, so I can’t afford to sell them (might want to use them later.) Poor Hambo’s wearing my shirt. That Velma just ain’t all that bright. Anyway, Hambo insulted my pad, so he got his first bonking. These moments are the spice of life, no? Found the money rock for the first time in awhile, but kept hitting the money bags and not the rock, so didn’t get any 10,000 Bell bags. Planted some fruit trees, then took a break.
Came back at night for fruit run. Finally got to see Hambo’s house, kinda sparse, but he has Mr. K.K. in his boombox, so I’m gonna request it. I actually had to pick up Flash’s net just to fit all the fruit on the island this time. This is getting soooo… ridiculous. At least I’m not tan anymore. I guess I’m lucky to never accidentally turn the power off after having Flash eat fruit and drop money, cuz that takes awhile. Ended up with 9 30,000 Bell bags, 5 accumulated and 4 picked up. I’m just glad I’m done. Back to top
November 13, 2002
It wasn’t until I saw a weed that I realized that the ground is a little more pale brown now. Trees are slightly paler too. The piles of whatever (leaves?) seem more purple, but I think that’s because the reds have faded away. My HRA rating decreases more every day! Bea supports Katrina. That’s weird, I thought he’d want to chase her up a tree and bark at her all day. Did some house rearranging, sent away some fossils, and bought a boxing mat and pineapple bed (‘bout time I got a new bed, never liked the lovely one.)
Came back to see Katrina, and decided to talk to Baabara. I thought ‘What’s the harm, I’m not carrying any furniture… well now we know. She acted like she would give me a stove, but she took half my money for it! And so my ‘List’ continues to grow. Good thing I hadn’t done much up until then. Besides, I needed an excuse to read up on video game news (If there is any justice, the game disc that the Japanese get for pre-ordering Zelda will come out in America. I WANT ME URA-ZELDA!!!!! See Planet GameCube for details.) Resetti tried to get me to write Reset=skull this time. You know, I miss Don. Don dared to tell me to scram, but at least you don’t feel sorry for him when he almost has a heart attack yelling at you. Anyway, did my usual curse her out in letter form and tell her that her life will now be heck, and bonked her thrice before she ran into her house like the pansy that she is. Since I was low on signs, I tried a new method, the 3 apple bud block. Weren’t any non fruit trees by her house, so didn’t chop down anything. At least making enemies helps with my creativity. Not that I ever like Baabara, mind you. I’m so used to being tan that being pale looks weird. Found two gyroids and a fossil. Decided to avoid talking to neighbors for the rest of the night (Bea fell asleep by his door agin.) Bonked the other animals on my list to blow off steam. Katrina says an unnerved broth will sob itself to sleep by a body of water. Yummy. That and I’m gonna be rich. Big whoop. Sure enough, the bags of money I shook out of trees were 1,000 Bell each. What a weird sense of luck I’m having today. I would have preferred to get a regular fortune and not have to deal with Baabara’s evil. Found Gulliver once again. Why doesn’t Gulliver realize I’m old enough for a little innuendo every now and then? Got a matryoshka, in any case. That’s the round lady who has other ladies inside her. Never really understood where that idea came from, but nice to have nonetheless. Nook’s still paying me the same prices. No amount of luck will change him into a fair and just raccoon. My golden shovel’s only giving me 100 Bell bags too. Still, I called it quits at least 12,000 Bell richer. Well it was an eventful day, I can certainly say that. Back to top
November 14, 2002
Snow today. House rearranging. Searched for Pitfall left behind by a neighbor, got stuck in the dang thing. Stupid trees blocking everything and lack of ability to change camera angle! What is this, Resident Evil?!? I’m beginning to despise this game. Animal who planted it won’t give their name, so I decided to target a random person with my Pitfall. Only one apple bud grew to block Baabara, but I had placed my two sign boards nearby and she hadn’t moved, so I blocked her off anyway. Got reminded by Officer Copper that Katrina had given me the good fortune, but I guess it wears off overnight, only getting 100 Bell from trees. Still nothing new at the Lost&Found. Bought perfect painting from Nook, donated it to Blathers. There’s got to be some way to get more room with digging in new spots, getting rid of the large items in my basement, or attaching items to letters and storing them at the post office. Went to the island to get my Pitfall, and planted it around Twiggy and Velma’s house. If nothing else, it sends a message to the animals that LuWigi is not content to just set around and let them screw with him!!! The 1 o’ clock song now has a Chrismtasy sort of theme, with jingle bells instead of cat meows. I guess AC is like various companies, they start the Christmas ads/sales/themes pretty dang early. Back to top
November 15, 2002
Baabara pretended to not understand my letter (how original), but added that I was ‘terribly mean! Mean mean MEAN!’ Excellent. Music’s still different, and it’s still snowing. Decided to make a new bury stuff pile by my house, Old Man Welly and his golden axe be darned! At least, I think it has an impact… Bought a bird feeder from Nook. How many bird-related items are there? And should I be feeding the bird in the cage fruit every now and then? I think my days of being tan are over for the year. Decided today that my page should be dedicated as well to Rob, star of the Animal Crossing commercials. You stick it to those stuck-up loser neighbors of yours, my free-spirited friend! It’s a bad day for a fruit dropoff (bad day to start agin too), but I decided to do it anyway. I found a migratory locust in the snow. Is that screwed up or what? Bonked Baabara. Grace on the 17th, yay. Sooo many weeds… All right, I’m convinced: I cannot grow any more coconut trees on the mainland! Stupid coconut tree fairy taking my buds away! That and the area by the train station is cursed against trees. Apparently they couldn’t let me plant 1,000 trees to lock myself out of that area, or something. Guess I’ll have to use 1,200 trees instead. Why couldn’t the snowflakes kinda look snowlflaky, you know what I’m saying? Got over my fear of my neighbors and talked to Sandy, no harm done. First she complained about the snow, then she was happy about it. What a flake. Snow and sports balls do not mix: get them out of here already!!!! Was getting worried I’d be the first to fall into my Pitfall… Had to tell Belle I didn’t like games to avoid her trickery, but admitted I had a NES without any ill effects. I’m surprised she wasn’t like “Well I’ve got a Game Boy and you never will! HAHAHAHA (Ha Has appear over her head in an alternating fashion)”, but she didn’t, so I thought I didn’t have an excuse to bonk her. Then I remembered she was trying to trick me by asking me whether I liked games. BONK! Prince says the sun will come out tomorrow (bet yer bottom Bell.) Dropped off a round of fruit to the island, where it was raining, then took a break (it’s generally a sign that the monotony is getting to you when you quote Shirley Temple songs.)
Came back to do some trading, rearranged my basement. So hard to decide what to move from my basement, so many cool things…
Finished up fruit run late at night. It stopped snowing, as well as raining on the island. I guess weather isn’t allowed when everyone’s asleep. That, or it’s a conspiracy, and there is no weather. Was extremely close to falling into my Pitfall, but stopped at the last second. Was only technically able to fit all fruit on the island (picked up seashells, put some in the water.) Next time I will not be so lucky. I’m getting really angry at Flash’s stupidity. Why can’t I just tell him to eat all the fruit, not all the money, hurry up about it, and leave the dang net alone!!!!! Being able to select to have all 100 Bell bags placed into my wallet simultaneously would be nice too. Got 9 30,000 Bell bags (5 accumulated, 4 found.) The collection started off strong, with multiple 30,000 Bell bags for some rounds of collecting, but ended weak, with just 100 and 1,000 with once or twice 10,000 Bell bags there to be picked up. However, none of this is important, because I am now a multi-millionaire and you’re not. (Well, maybe you are, but I’m still better than you, for reasons that will come to me.) I really should just rip that lilypad off Kapp’n’s head, watch the water and his life force drain out, then paddle to the island myself. It’ll be faster, no more songs, and I’ll send a message to Nook that yes, I can have him killed or do it myself. Back to top
November 16, 2002
Did the usual, nothing good at Nook’s except winter stationary, nothing good in dump, Grace tomorrow, no new Lost & Found items. If I only had a car… Bea called me a scamp for not coming till late. The inevitable is coming up, I’m afraid. Took a break before K.K. arrived. Requested Mr K.K., since I heard it at Hambo’s, and thought it was one of three songs K.K. plays when I request a song he doesn’t play. But no, apparently K.K. is fickle, and pretends to not know what you’re talking about if you forget the period in Mr. Anyway, Mr. K.K. ain’t a bad song, but I think I prefer the first song he gave out, despite having heard it so many times already. Dug up a fossil, planted an apple and a cherry tree, and did a bit of redecorating. Talked to Static without taking the ‘What’s up?’ option or its relatives, he told me to take it easy. Decided to do an errand for him, getting something for him from Prince, but Prince was asleep, and I wasn’t about to wake him for Static’s sake. I wonder how anyone could be at 10 million Bell at this point in time… Hambo’s trying to play the dumb jock, saying how he’s doomed because it’s important to use your head every now and then, but I don’t buy it. Reminds me of the rat-killer in Disturbing Behavior, and I guess Nook must be the guy he’s hiding from. Wasn’t much else to do, so I called it a night. Back to top
November 17, 2002
Came in at noon, realized I had missed the best time for bass fishing. I wasn’t about to give up, however, and let the Fat Cow have all the glory. So after 20 min. of searching and trying, I got a large bass. Fed some regular Bass to Chip to get him to pad his estimate of how large my bass was. My regular bass was one inch short of Sue E.’s record, so I was feeling pretty confident. Yup, tied last week with 22 inches. Got a kiddie shirt for my trouble, but at least everyone knows who’s the best. When there’s a Papa Bear in the dump, you gotta figure someone’s digging up your stuff and placing it there. Ah well, I’d rather not have to go through which ones are most important to me anyway. Someone buried a regal chair in one of the 3 acres. I decided to look, even though they’re being a jerk in not saying which one. ‘Mom’ wants me to visit. Good imitation there, since most moms do. The rocking chair I bought from Nook today won’t rock. In fact, I rock more just sitting on a regular chair then it ever will. In fact, no one rocks more than I do. Or something. This rhythmoid I found is pretty cool. It keeps a pretty good beat. Decided to play Bea’s little ‘random item for a random price game.’ He gave me a barber’s pole, which is a nice thing to have, for over 2,500 Bell. I swear, next thing he does to slightly offend me gets him bonked. Couldn’t complete Static’s errand due to Prince fishing. Doesn’t he realize it’s already over? No weather, so catching a migratory locust wasn’t surprising, but still, it’s beginning to look a lot like a winter heckhole. Tortimer suggests letting the fish come to me when fishing, but I think, at least in this town, the opposite is a better strategy. Just look at Prince, he just sits there while fish ignore his bait. Won’t somebody fall for my Pitfall? I swear, Nook doubled the price on that lovely carpet once he saw I was looking to see if it was in my catalog. I really gotta run for mayor and kick him out already. Found a money tree sprouted for the first time in awhile, and the apple tree that grew in front of Baabara’s door sprouted apples too. Did an errand for Twiggy, got another ringside table, and called it a day. Came back to see Gracie, but didn’t get one of her designs, which I hear is apparently possible when you’re fast enough. I won the Run! Run! Run!, how fast do they really expect us to be? Perhaps I’m getting slow, I was nowhere close to breaking the record for the Whomp minigame in Mario Party 4. Bea got upset when I wouldn’t sell him my priceless Chinese lion (what’d he expect, he’s been a bad puppy!) Finished up my errand with Static, got stationary, so I tore down the barrier between us for a second to bonk him. No harm done, he’s still trapped in his cage until the game lets him spawn outside of it. Back to top
November 18, 2002
Sue E., somehow, somewhere, won the dang fishing tournament while I was away with a 27-incher. That sneaky, filth wallowing, mud snorter! On the bright side, my golden shovel dug up 30,000 Bell from a shiny spot. Couldn’t replant, though, too close to a tree. But I did get a candy machine a bug zapper from Nook. Redd comes on the 20th. It seems like whenever something goes terribly wrong, 3 things go right. Not that Sue E. shouldn’t fear for her life. In fact, I wrote her a letter telling her so. Besides, nothing makes up for the fruit-island trips. Mailed fossils too. Dug up my Pitfall to make a point to Sue E. That point is, of course, that if all the animals were states in the Union, I’d be Texas, and you don’t mess with Texas™. She was smart enough to be nowhere near her house, but I sniffed her out like the big, fat, stupid pig that she is looking for truffles. Bonked to heck, of course. Relieved of the responsibility of teaching her a lesson, I took a break. Went to island for furniture rearrangement, decided to bury gyroids on the mainland. Got mail from Redd, he’s still ‘CRAZY!!!’ Began to doubt whether it was worth planting coconut trees anymore during fruit dropoff. One of these days, I should let all the fruit grow without collecting, and cut down a bunch of the non-fruit trees.
Got around to the fruit thing around 8, but then what I had feared happened: I fell in the freakin’ Pitfall, all while Sue E. watched from around the corner. But I wasn’t going to give up, no Sir!! I bonked her to heck agin, pounding on that (artificial) heart-shaped birthmark of hers until her brain fixed itself like an old tv. I dug up my last Pitfall, planted it, led her into the direction of it, watched her fall, laughed (not so much triumphantly, the little Toads would be confused) and bonked her some more. Glad to have that done with. Completely filled up the island much quicker than expected. I AM NOT GONNA START DOING THIS EVERY TWO DAYS!!!! Took Flash’s net, then let him run off on his own. He started off well, but just kept wandering in the wrong direction. Eventually, I had to point him in the right direction (by clicking the trunks of trees, since those were the only areas that didn’t have fruit or money to pick up, and then he saw the fruit on his way and ate it. Worked out pretty well, only lost one bag of money I think, so I suggest you try it on a smaller scale. As for the amount of Bell I picked up, well, I at one point literally had more than I could carry! But with some rearranging, got it all in. That’s right, 15 30,000 Bell bags, plus 81,000 Bell in my wallet. That’s gotta be some sort o’ record, eh? Kapp’n says he hates squirrels. Have I heard that one before? Anyway, what a racist pig. He’s just as bad as those dang stupid pigs, always wallowing in dirt and eating slop, getting fat and smelly. And it’s not like he shouldn’t have a problem with racism (is it species-ism?) in general, whether he’s in the closet or not. Back to top
November 19, 2002
Did the usual, only got a new shirt and bag of flowers from Nook. Ran some errands, Bea seemed to appear out of nowhere as I was switching acres. Frankly, I think the phrase ‘I caught an ant! (My uncle will be so happy!)’ almost makes sense. Sandy prolly still has the coolest pad on the block after mine. Once agin, I bought the same shirt from Nook as was in the dump. I gotta remember to go there first. Redd tomorrow, I hope I can get the empty NES this time. I upset Hambo by not taking his job (Jobs where you get the item when you ask for the job usually= stationary.) Bonked Sue E. agin when I passed her by. Forgive and forget are two words that are not part of my vocabulary, thank you very much. Running errands didn’t yield any new or interesting stuff, so I took a break. Never much to do the day after a fruit run. Back to top
November 20, 2002
Jambette left town, so I was pretty bummed. So that means Prince, the guy who said he was moving on like Day 3, is the last one. Decided enough games, I can’t afford to lose any more neighbors. Savannah the zebra, her replacement, says ‘y’all’ a lot. That’s waaay too close to reality for my comfort. I think she took Fang’s location. Velma hates the town tune. Up hers. Why do all the bad neighbors stay? Had Nook take my extra work uniforms and patched shirts off my hands. Then I went about digging up stuff and either temporarily storing it in my house or selling it to Nook. I will make my village a utopia, then no one will realize when I turn it into Heck!!!! Decided Bea should get the idea this time, didn’t warn him before sending the password. Plus, then I’d have to find more paper.
Came back at night to see Redd. Talked to Gaston, but decided not to do him a favor, so he got mad and I bonked him. Hambo wants to give Sandy ‘the old BAMA!’ for not returning his old picture book. That guy’s weird. Anyway, Sprocket doesn’t trust Redd, but I got a computer from him for under 10,000 Bell (which is like 1,000 bucks around there), so I still say he’s pretty cool. It don’t turn on or nothin’ like that, but I doubt one from Nook would either. This cleaning up the town thing is gonna take a loooong time… I hope no one leaves in the meantime. Ran some errands, still received nothing worth talking about. I mean, money’s good, but you’re not interested in me talking aboot that. Bea asked my astrological sign for the second time today and probably fourth or fifth time in a week. Called it a night afterwards, guess I'll do more clean-up tamarra. Back to top
November 21, 2002
Still no DK3 from Bea, so decided to try a tip from AC Trades R Us and tell the code to Nook instead (forgot that I only sent the code a day ago.) Worked fine (Nook thinks I won it in a contest), so I suggest you try it if you’re having trouble (Give thanks to coco if this is helpful.) Why does the rare painting look like someone vomited on canvas? Managed to get a better HRA rating just by storing junk in my house. Played on Savannah’s drums after giving her a fish (she also got the shoe I caught through the mail.) Then I did a bunch of digging up stuff and either placing it in my house or selling it to Nook. There’s no way I’m gonna be able to fit all the stuff I can’t reorder (gyroids, spooky items, presents from Gulliver) either in my house or the island house. Back to top
November 22, 2002
Got another DK3 from Bea. I suppose it serves me right, since I left all that junk in my house, but my HRA score has broken 70,000, so I got a model of my house. Now I must hide my head in shame. Just about finished up cleaning up the town and my house today, but never tried a fruit run. Nothing good from Nook, the dump, and Officer Copper’s only talking aboot K.K. agin. Caught a drone beetle, it went to Blathers. Basically, a pretty boring day. Back to top
November 23, 2002
Came to town just a minute or so after Nook has closed shop. New shirt at the dump, and Copper was still talking aboot K.K. Speaking of which, decided not to request anything from him, so I got K.K. Blues, which does indeed sound like Blues music of some sort. Tomorrow is the fishing tourney, and Sue E. will pay dearly for her trickery. Too late at night for a fruit run. So I won’t make 10 million by year’s end, big whoop. Back to top
November 24, 2002
Found out this is my last day of the fishing tourney so of course I had to make it good. My first fish broke the record of the day, then I broke that one. New item each time, first one was a blue something I didn’t have, next was a slot machine which I did have. Ended up with a record of 26 inches, but decided only breaking 28 inches would leave me safe. Bought some shirts from Nook, nothing new in dump or with Copper. Caught a guppy, donated it to Blathers, then took a break.
Came back around 3 for Nook’s sale. Just a clock I already had and a white pawn, which I bought then sold right back to Nook. Got a purple balloon agin, so the sale was in total a letdown as usual. Still no one had broken my record (I bet they do it at 11:59 pm.) So when this thing is over, will there still be more bass around on Sundays, or does Chip control the weather? Too bad Chip doesn’t notice when I bonk him, I’m sick of him burping in my face. Took another break at 4, I’m still the top fisheranimal (humans are animals too ya know) with 26 inches.
Lou’s backup: I came in late at night, since I found out Lou had forgotten to. The guy won the bass fishing thing he was worried about, and his prize was a garden pond that I don’t think he has. I put it in his house, it looks pretty nice. I’m not sure whether I’ll take over the site or not, but if I do, I’m making it my way (the dummy blew himself up, in case you didn’t know.) I don’t know why the website’s so backlogged, I guess he knew the end was near. Anyway, I should add a Metroid Prime section, that game is schweet. Then maybe I’ll start hosting porn, because I can. Question is: real or hentai? Back to top
November 25, 2002
Ok, I’ve read enough of these diary entries that I think I can do this now. *gets into character* Ahem…
Redd’s coming on Wednesday. Strange to see him back so soon… So many mammoth torsos, not one mammoth head! Did the usual, dug up some fossils. ‘Mom’ is eating leftovers. I know I’m still behind on the fruit thing, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
Came back around midnight, mostly cuz this entry was looking a little short. If there’s one good thing we can say aboot Velma, it’s that she’s awake at such an hour. Sprocket thinks he’s dumb, and Hambo tried to do that thing Baabara did with the lost and found, but I outsmarted him and he gave me the item anyway (some wooden bucket.) I had 3 fossils, so I sent them to the museum. Then, I called it a night. Back to top
November 26, 2002
Wasn't about to let a little thing like death keep me from my Animal Crossing file, as much as I would prefer to be playing Phantasty Star Online, meaning online and with a keyboard. Must remember that Redd's coming tomorrow. Bought a shirt, some flowers, the usual. I hope I can leave this Limbo or sorts for the Harvest Festival, would be a shame to miss that.
No mail today, came in around 4. I don’t remember having my fishing pole out. Either it’s a glitch or I’m forgetful. A bag of flowers is sold out too… Who’s been playing my game??? Well not my game, but you know what I mean. I guessed it was someone Lou knew, and the stupid jerk didn’t even bother to make his own file or house! First I’ll find out what he did so I can record it here, then I’ll smash him. Smash him good. That Redd guy’s still comin tomorrow. I’m too confused to keep going, so ‘called it a day’ and all that junk. Back to top
November 27, 2002
Don't think anyone played my file today, but can't be sure. Just one letter from Nook, so maybe. Did the usual, nothing to report, then played some NES games with a friend. Soccer is so bad it's funny ('course we laugh at a lot of weird things), Baseball is hard to control, and Wario's Woods gets old fast. I wonder why no one's mentioned the Harvest Festival for tomorrow. How odd. Back to top
November 28, 2002
Couldn’t resist seeing Redd, so came in around one in the morning. His prices were steep, but I bought the bongo drum and turntable anyway, cuz I like ‘em. Found the shiny spot, but didn’t bother to search out money rock. Sorry for the lack of updates, something I decided to do in the real world has somewhat interfered with my ability to play this game. Came in around 1, just because I’ve got stuff to do doesn’t mean I don’t have time for a little AC. Not that I'll necessarily continue to update once Lou's out of my life for good. Got an A shirt from the dump (I got an A! Or something.) Went to Nook’s, found out I had some weird items, but they were in my catalog, so I sold them to Nook along with my extra fossils ad shirts I wasn’t wearing. No sign of the harvest festival, and the neighbors aren’t talking. I guess it’s in the evening, or maybe last week? I hope not, since that would make all this time spent here today a waste. Found Gulliver (I get the feeling he always washes up on Thursdays, from what I've read.) No Manaken Pis, but I got l’Arc de Triomphe! Merveilleux!!! and stuff. Took a break once I set up l’Arc, then let a little Toad who knows Oldy create a file (it's about time, enough screwing around with mine!)
I was unable to get to the game before the Harvest Festival ended, but an event had allowed me to overcome the concepts of ‘conscience’ and ‘morality’ that had prevented me from fully expressing myself in the past. In other words, I set back the frickin’ clock, and I’d do it agin. Either Resetti attacks for that too, or the little Toad (who chose the name ‘queer’, proving the entire Mushroom Kingdom has become demented) pressed reset. Proving the point that the Mushroom Kingdom's gone bad, she (though the character’s a he) wrote an insult to me on the bulletin board that I am unwilling to repeat here, for fear of putting off potential visitors. Wrote him a letter back telling him how ironic it was that someone named queer would call me that, and that he’s stupid for not knowing how to capitalize, or something. Either way, I’m getting really sick of the buttmonkey. I still miss Don. Still, he was hitting on me by saying I had really nice eyes, so of course part of me now respects him. Then Velma played ‘you have to buy the item with me’, so I got a café shirt I didn’t have for a crappy price. Did the usual, but was unenthusiastic, so the bonking ended after 4, and didn’t care there were no trees around her house. Wrote her a scathing letter involving how she has a beard. Found Franklin, he actually cracked me up with his comments. Where do I get the items from agin? Got cornucopia from Tortimer, the animals can’t be affected by bonks once they’re at the table, and no one drinks wine, just juice, cuz wine is the devil! queer done messed up my town song, so I changed it to Dr. Mario (Fever I think.) Again, stole it. Bonked more people than usual, since I was being watched, and Hambo sounds especially gassy with the new town tune. Stole forks and knives from table for Franklin, but couldn’t keep it in my house. Bummer and all that. They were right, getting a full collection of harvest items is MUCH easier. No repeats. Got them all, then decided to harvestize my first floor to see what the HRA would say. Made sure I couldn’t get anything new from Franklin (he told me he loves me, so I have that warm, special feeling agin! Whoopee!), but after the third repeat, I was convinced. I ran over a bunch of flowers, and destroyed 2. I should get those replaced tomorrow. Back to top
November 29, 2002
Redd ONCE AGAIN tonight. What’s with him? Bought a pack of AC cards in the real world, was anxious to try them out. Got a letter from the HRA; broke the 100,000 point record, as I assume anyone else who collected the harvest set knows. It’s snowing, and the ground look slightly white. Accumulation? Nook did Mystery Bag Day, no balloon though. Either the migratory locusts are particularly noisy when it’s snowing, or it’s just my tv set. Found Tortimer, he gave me yet another item cuz it’s Sale Day or something. Two days in a row of holidays in AC is weird. Tested out the Town Tune scan capability, but didn’t like K.K. Faire as my Town Tune, so switched back (which I had to do manually.) Went to the E-reader ATM, got letters sent to me from the other animal cards. No new items, except a moving painting, but the letters were worth reading. As for the moving painting, I think it’s that one of Venus on the big seashell. Looked hard, but can’t see any nipples, since they changed around the painting a bit. Probably naked buttocks there though. Also sent the passwords to Bea (not that I trust him as much, but there’s no one else left to trust), since I dunno if I’ll get the same items or not. Had to steal from the Lost & Found to get stationary. Well, if not, I can still sell them to Nook. Bought one of his grab bags, and got a cool pinwheel! I think I love that thing. Then, I took a break. Came back as usual to see Redd, had to meet up with Resetti first though (I’m pretty sure it’s because of something I did with the tv that makes it think I turned off the power.) Velma gave me a rock guitar, which I actually like much for its music. I still gonna mess her up good though. Bought a bass (base?) instrument from Redd. He was selling Balloon Fight (I wonder if it would work…), but I already have a copy. Bought another grab bag, got another pinwheel. Didn’t want the entire collection though, so I called it quits afterwards. Back to top
November 30, 2002
Came in the night as usual. Belle moved away, so I have once agin failed as a ruler of the town. What do I have to do, chop down all adjacent trees too? Nook was raffling off a covered wagon, white queen, and palm tree. As usual, I got the third prize only, the white queen, though my heart was set on the wagon. One day, Nook, it will be I who is in charge of the raffling, and the prize shall be your soul! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Or something. Interestingly enough, I also got a black queen from a scavenger hunt on the bulletin board. Displayed both in my house, since I couldn’t sell them to Nook. It’s snowing agin, but still no accumulation. Belle’s replacement is a duck named Pate (Just ‘cuz you’ve already got a bird named Pete, doesn’t mean you should make up a name like Pate for a neighbor, you lazy game creators!!!!) Pate kinda reminds me of Twiggy, but his house has K.K. Dirge and a set of scary noise making gyroids, so I guess he’s into the black arts or something. Too bad he missed Halloween. WHY ARE THE STUPID BALLS STILL AROUND?!?!? Sent out fossils, got an exotic chest from Buck (Bea’s doing?) Wendell’s due on the 2nd. Decided Took a hint from Savannah and decided to request K.K. Salsa, but accidentally told Slidemeister that I had no requests. Got K.K. Technopop, which I guess was what I was looking for upon my first encounter with K.K., but I was a little underwhelmed. Still, sounds good on my golden stereo. Went to bed afterwards. Back to top
December 1, 2002
Came in during the night, nothing worth noting in the mail. It’s Snow Day, and the ground has not accumulated, but is greyer than yesterday, and of course it’s snowing. Store is selling, as Wariofan predicted, big honking ‘Toy Day’ trees. I bought the two on display, then promptly sold them back. Tried to find the mayor afterwards. So many weeds…like 25 just today. I can actually to explain to Bea now why snowflakes are white! Something aboot rainbows and white light. Came back twice, but never could find the mayor. Still Wendell tamarra. Back to top
December 2, 2002
No snow today. Nook was selling almost the exact same items as yesterday. He had some nice sweaters though (still short-sleeved.) Planted some trees in A-5 like Wellington wanted, then planted flowers. There’s gotta be something I can do to keep people in Shitton… Wendell gave me a classroom wall. Tried to run errands to get stationary to send away my fossils, but the neighbors kept saying they didn’t have a job for me, so I bonked them. Finally got an errand from Twiggy to get his camera from Gaston, who was being especially jerky today. Back to top
December 3, 2002
Started my day off with a bonking, since Sandy interrupted me while I was hitting the money rock. First animal I’ve come across to get sad, not mad, when bonked. Pathetic. Redd’s coming YET AGAIN! Dec. 5th, why won’t he find someone new? Does he like me that much? Nook had a chess set and a conga drum, bought both, sold back conga drum. Also bought a scroll journal, cuz I particularly liked it. Savannah’s wearing my shirt, I guess the new people haven’t gotten sick of it. Went on a scavenger hunt for a high-end stereo, wasn’t too hard, despite all the trees. Also found a cello in the dump, but sold both to Nook to save space. If only I had a little more space, and some new freakin’ neighbors moving in without others moving out!!!! GAAAAAAH!!!!!! Back to top
December 4, 2002
Nook was selling an orange box, that’s what he mailed me about. Like I care. I mean a rare item is one thing, a cool item is another, but his special is an orange box?!? And there it stood, the same dang box I had in my house when I first got here. Like I couldn’t order another from his catalog or something. Jerk. Oh, what am I in a bad mood for, today’s a great day! Go out and look at the clouds, shake your fists at them, and come back inside for video games! Life is short, make the most of it! Try not to get caught though, life is pretty long when you’re in jail. You know, I didn’t notice until I saw the other Nook-hating site, but Nook does look drugged up, doesn’t he? Maybe just really bored with life, I would be. Then again, Luigi has the same look in Smash Bros… No wait, he’s on Prozac, I forgot. Twiggy reminded me that there are new fish this month, and after some repeats I caught a pond smelt (the joke was of course a play on the word ‘smelt’) Pate sure does lie a lot about having jobs. Twiggy gave me a red boom box for the second one I caught, which is pretty good in comparison to what the neighbors usually get me. Bea asked me about queer, and he’s upset that he doesn’t write him. I think he’s hinting that letters=less people moving away. Back to top
December 5, 2002
‘Mom’ watches soap operas, thinks I’m a little crybaby who calls her whenever something’s wrong. Crazy old hag. No snow today. Nook was selling a houndstooth knit, which has the same design as one of the default Windows background pattern options on my old Windows 95, which had the same name, but I don’t see a hound’s tooth. What’s it mean exactly? Even more weeds today than usual. I’m actually making progress at the well, since now Wellyhead wants me to go to C-3 to cut down trees, instead of A1 to plant them. Heard a strange noise, sounded like a bug, but couldn’t get a lock on it. Didn’t seem to be any sign of Gulliver, maybe it’s more random than I thought. Cleared out some trees in C-3 like the well wanted. Sent away some fossils and a letter to Pate, along with a present (empty can I caught fishing, had it for weeks.) Back to top
December 6, 2002
Finally got the mammoth skull I’ve been looking for. Music is more instrumental now, with like chimes or something. Someone buried a Pitfall, drat it all. And it’s buried behind a tree too. That or a house. My hair seems pointier than usual. It stinks that Nook has two slots of furniture taken up by the ‘Festival’ (what is this, Seinfeld?) trees. Blathers was ecstatic to have the mammoth completed. Then he dissed humans. He’s going down, as soon as I get everyone else who’s going down. I guess that leaves the plesiosaur. Why is the mammoth as big as an apatosaur? Pate thinks snow makes Shitton look romantic. Shitton looking romantic, ha! Back to top
December 7, 2002
Only got a reminder from Nook in the mail. Bought a modern bed from Nook, plus a signboard in case of emergencies. NEW THING AT LOST & FOUND!!!!! NEW THING AT LOST & FOUND!!!!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!!! A classic carpet?!? Bah. Many weeds agin. Requested K.K. Fusion, since someone suggested it on chat. Not bad, but heard some weird noises while talking to K.K. afterwards. Must have been outside the game. Then agin, might be a neighbor running around. Back to top
December 8, 2002
Bea offered to make me cinnamon rolls. Good puppy! Nook’s not selling anything worth noting. Did Gracie’s work, my unwillingness to do anything odd with my controller left me once agin without one of her designs, but I never got the shirt before, so good enough. Why can’t I bonk Porter? It’d make the game so much more interesting… Well, not really. WHY WON’T THE SNOW STICK?!?!?!? Back to top
December 9, 2002
‘Mom’ said to live life without regrets, so I bonked Baabara. Bulletin board is finally warning me aboot a Winter Storm Warning. Bought some colorful shirts and a cream-colored couch from Nook. I run out of things to do so quickly now that I’ve given up on fruit runs. Can I do those when there’s snow on the ground? Am I going to have to wait just as long as last time to get new items from the Lost & Found? Maybe there’s a limit of 6 items at a time for the first year or something. Found the dang bug that was making all the noise in an acre, but he ran through the holes I already dug looking for him and escaped! Jerk. Mailed some fossils and called it a day. Back to top
December 10, 2002
THERE’S SNOW ON THE GROUND! IT STUCK! YESSSSS!!!!!! Stupid ‘Festival’ lights on the trees are annoying me, AND THE DANG BALLS WON’T GO AWAY!!!!!!!! Someone shoot me. PATE MOVED AWAY ALREADY!?!? Must stop yelling, going to go hoarse. But come on! I liked him… Bought an asteroid and an oil drum from Nook. I don’t like the sound my feet make in the snow one bit. Metroid Prime’s sound effects are better! Pate was replaced by… a koala. A koala named Huggy. Whoever shoots me, do it quickly. Her house is nothing special. At least the weeds are easier to see now. Bea’s trying to get me to sell irreplaceable items agin. Old Man Welly gave me an excuse to destroy some of the ‘pretty’ trees, so kudos to him. December 11, 2002
Did the usual, then went to Old Man Welly. “Everything is perfect! Shitton is a very liveable place.” DON’T TOY WITH ME, OLD MAN! Stupid senile old coot must think it’s April Fools’ Day. Found Gulliver, but only got another Chinese lioness. Great, where am I going to store that? Pushed Wendell around, because I could. He gave me another backgammon wall, the cheapskate. You may not react to my net, but I know you’re hurting on the inside! That sound that’s supposed to be my feet on the snow is REALLY getting to me… Wrote a letter to He/She that shall from now on be called ‘The Koala’ in this diary, telling it bad things will happen if it considers leaving. Gave it the rest of my stationary as a present. Seems the song with the cat meows still occasionally has cat meows with snow on the ground. Back to top
December 12, 2002
‘Mom’ is upset that I drew a mustache on her in a picture I made in my youth, or something. I wonder if my real dad, the one who’s most likely dead by now, had a mustache. Would make sense, wouldn’t it? Welly’s still yanking my chain aboot everything being perfect. Pate sure didn’t seem to think so. No one’s coming to town anytime soon, and Nook isn’t selling anything worth buying. The Koala’s wearing my shirt, I guess was right aboot new neighbors (I shall resist calling them by the term used by other members of the nerd World order to refer to new people) being more likely to wear it because they’re not sick of it. It called itself ‘The Snow Queen’, so I’m guessing the Koala’s a girl, since Kapp’n appears to be still in the closet. Anyway, got a science table from her for cheap, but bonked her for the heck of it. Pretty coo item, that. Bea also offered to make me pancakes. Like he’s going to do that. Stupid game. Decided not to replant the 10,000 Bell bag I found, to see how full of it Welly really is. Plus it was too close to the shore anyway. Caught 5 sea bass in a row trying to get Sandy a pet. Finally fell in that daggum Pitfall. I need to head over to the island now, go get another, and MAKE EVERYONE IN SHITTON PAY!!!!!!!! Eh, I’ll do it later. Back to top
December 13, 2002
Nook’s selling ‘hand-drawn wallpaper’ tamarra, I wonder what that means. I better get a new balloon this time. Somebody make all the gyroids go away… Wrote a letter to Sprocket to threaten her aboot what I’ll do if she leaves. The weeds continue to plague me, but could be worse. The idea that Welly thinks my town is perfect still scares me. Is it just not the time of year where you can get the golden axe? Back to top
December 14, 2002
Came in late, bought a shirt from Nook, that’s all. Mom’s stuffing curry down Dad’s throat. Wanted to listen to ‘I love you’, but apparently I’m not saying it right, so I went with ‘Two Days Ago.’ Nice song, but not great. Not much to do afterwards, so I went to bed. Back to top
December 15, 2002
No interesting new mail or bulletin board announcements today. Bought a new plant and shirt from Nook, and a backyard lawn to go with my fence wallpaper. The dump was surprisingly full of shirts and stationary for some reason. Gracie returns on the 17th. Got Hambo to stop saying ‘yo’, but, as usual, I can’t write here what he says instead. I wish I’d I could stop finding gyroids, nowhere to put them… No sign of Welly telling me the truth on how the town is anytime soon. Can’t seem to find Bea… Back to top
December 16, 2002
Found a flame umbrella in the dump that I decided to keep, but Nook wasn’t selling anything. Decided to finally go to the island for storage after digging up YET ANOTHER gyroid. There’s never snow on the island!! Flash mentioned I looked thinner than I did three weeks ago. Was it really that long? And apparently the lambada is the forbidden dance of love. Should keep a note of that. Bea tried to buy one of my gyroids, but I decided to hold off. But now the island house is completely full. Bummer. Called it a day afterwards, since the flyer already told me Redd is coming. Back to top
December 17, 2002
Hambo buried a high-end stereo, I found it. Bought a fridge from Nook. I swear there’s more ‘festive’ trees out today. Redd will be around later today. You’d think with all the bonking I do, the animals would learn not to lie to me. Oh well, one more for the road. Has anyone even gotten two 10,000 Bell bags from the money rock? Dang it, just when Flash is telling me I’ve lost weight, T-Bone tells me I look fatter! And he’s inside too! And whistling!!! He WILL pay when he goes outside. In fact, I sent him a letter. But first I shoved him around and turned off his stereo. Anyway, here’s the letter:
To T-Bone the fat:
I’ve got a question for you: when you sit around the house, do 
you really sit AROUND the house?
					Remember, LuWigi ownz j00 

Back to top
December 18, 2002
Two days in a row of just mail from Nook. Why does the shiny spot look like yellow snow in winter? Maybe it’s just my tv. Bea’s sarcasm aboot my fishing habits is beginning to get to me. Redd had only junk today. Oh, by the way, yes I am aware that the ‘B’ on Redd’s apron stands for Bells. He’s just not nearly the scoundrel that he thinks he is. Velma whined aboot not getting any letters agin, so I sent her once, demanding Super Mario Bros. as a reward or else. Plus I told her to shave already, cuz I’m mean. Nook wasn’t selling anything new either. I wonder if I should try dating one of my neighbors. Is Static a girl? I mean, Baabara responded to ‘hey baby’ that one time, so maybe they might actually pretend to like me or something. No, flirting with female animals doesn’t sound like my style. Still, there’s got to be some way to keep things interesting… Wow, it only took 3 seconds for Twiggy to upset the Koala! I wonder what he said… (yeah, I still think it’s a he.) Back to top
December 19, 2002
‘Mom’ found an old love letter of mine apparently, which reminded me: I can’t remember much of my old life at all. Must be why I play Animal Crossing. Pulled weeds, nothing from Nook but a shirt. Bea thinks butterflies are hideous. Maybe he’ll take a job at the museum once that old bat Blathers passes away. Gracie comes on the 20th. I GOTS ME A MOLE CRICKET!!!! Took long enough, tricky lil’ jerk. Blathers says that mole crickets aren’t technically crickets, just relatives. Like they did DNA tests when classifying animals. Back to top
December 20, 2002
Another slow mail day. Bea looks forward to the festive system and I don’t care. I don’t even know why I chat with these boring folks anymore. Why won’t any of them send me on a top secret mission to a cave outside of town filled with traps and monsters? Well at least Zelda comes out soon plus then there’s the Master Quest. Not that the game itself is so different and interesting, just nice to finally own a N64DD game. But that’s getting off-subject. I guess what I’ms saying is I want more surprises in the game. If I get a golden axe on the 25th, that will be… weird. I want Static’s 8-ball shirt and I don’t know why. Huh-hey! Nook’s selling another Nintendo item, this one from Donkey Kong! YESS!!! Or maybe it’s just a regular old barrel. But that would rain on my parade, so it’s not. Velma says letter writing is like a game of tag. Well if she didn’t insult me, she’s still ‘it’. Where the heck are those dang igloos? AND WHO PLAYS VOLLEYBALL IN THE SNOW?!?!? Velma’s insult was that my letter was too long, so she’s still ‘it’. I curse the San Francisconians and whatever other town that somehow got the AC convention. There will be a reckoning… Twiggy says humans catch colds more easily than animals. Unless he means that humans don’t have fur or feathers, I find that comment offensive. Yes, I AM more grumpy than usual today. Deal with it, won’t you? Hambo’s new name for me has put a smile on my face though. The animals seem happy that I’m talking to them agin, which is bad, since I talked to Sue E. as well. The song ‘Two Days Ago’ sounds like it’s meant for some crazy drug-induced hallucination, but a sedated one. Sprocket is happy that he can tell time by the second. Yeah, but can you understand my letters, you stupid simulation of a neighbor! I gave him a fish, so he gave me the same barrel that I bought from Nook, said get him something more colorful next time, and ran. So of course I bonked him thrice. Sandy misses queer, and I of course don’t. Question is, is she smart enough to realize I was close to a cliff when she told me it’s slippery and be careful not to slip and fall off? I doubt it, I think maybe she just said slip and fall. Ah well, maybe next game. It’s a shame her house doesn’t have a boom box by the way, great pad otherwise. The noise of shovel against a pile of leaves is slightly flatulent really. I’m writing so much because I’ve got nothing else to do, in case you’re wondering. Are there any new bugs to catch once the snow hits the ground? How many vanish? Didn’t I see a migratory locust in the snow once? I wonder what the Mona Lisa is called. So-so painting? Caught a bitterling, very small sorta fish, had to squint to see it when it was in the water. From the right angle, the fishing rod looks like a whip when you try to cast then realize that you can’t. And with that, I called it a day, since now I’m just pointing out nonsense. Back to top
December 21, 2002
The Koala moved out, and I was sad. At least until I realized he was replaced by Tangy, A CAT!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!! Bought a manhole cover from Nook. Accidentally asked for Bea’s citrus wall, but he was nice enough not to charge me for it. I should send him a gift tomorrow… maybe a citrus wall. Went to see Gracie, tried a bit harder, using a first-party controller, and it happened. The car began to glisten, Gracie was a bit happier, AND I FINALLY GOT ONE OF HER GOSHDERN DESIGNS!!!! It was kiwi shirt, which is kinda boring, but at least I can cross that off my To-Do list. It was aboot then that I realized that the game thought it was Friday for some reason, so I saved and changed that. After some initial fooling around, I gots K.K. Jazz from Totakeke, which my friend thought fit the genre pretty well. Called it a day afterwards. Oh, and Welly’s still full of compliments aboot Shitton. Weirdo. Back to top
December 22, 2002
Bought a cactus from Nook. Aboot 4 neighbors told me to look at a snowflake against a black background. Geez, that’s lazy programming. Redd tamarra. Took awhile finding Tangy. Not only does he have a complexion similar to an orange (lucky him), but he also wants to pour juice all over the snow and eat it, which is either symbolism or showing that he’s reinvented the snow cone. Still haven’t been able to see the inside of his house, he’s always away from it. Is the present from the Mayor tamarra, or is that Jingle. I guess it’s not that important, as long as I show up. Back to top
December 23, 2002
Got to see Tangy’s house… citrus items everywhere. I’m talking floor, walls, chairs, dressers, you name it. I found Tortimer, he gave me a car. Found out later it’s a replica of Gabi’s, so now she’s got no reason to act so snobby. I wonder… does it count as a town model part? I mean it’s in glass and all. I decided today to make it a habit to at least greet everyone I come in contact with, in order to lose less neighbors, even scum like Gaston. Back to top
December 24, 2002
‘Mom’ gave me a gift to show how much she cares… a garbage can. I guess now I know how she feels aboot me. Strangely enough, Nook was selling the same thing. Well poo on your head Nook, you were rotten this year too! I wrote Tangy a letter and gave him a gyroid, and wrote Bea as well. Basically wanted to tell him that he’s a great friend, I hope he has a great year, so hard to find friends and people you can trust in Shitton, and I gave him an Arwing, my most expensive furniture item, as a gift. The legendary queer returned to Shitton, though I wonder if I should mention ‘his’ name anymore. Baabara showed ‘him’ a letter I wrote her once, and much laughter ensued. Did the Jingle ting, just one custom shirt (shirt with a texture on it) works unfortunately, so I had to try ordering shirts and getting some from the dump. Got a number of doubles, until I realized that asking for ‘big’ things gets you the most selection. Tangy was nice enough to just give me a scale when I talked to him, and I got a new painting and piano from Redd. I donated the painting, as well as a stringfish, which is apparently rare, to Blathers. Back to top
December 25, 2002
Got Balloon Fight from Jingle, making it the second time the game’s offered me the game, at least if Redd’s was legit. The house got full, so I renovated it with just items I couldn’t reorder from Nook. Doesn’t look nice, but at least now I have room. Bought a heart shirt and fancy carpet from Nook. Bea hates it when his feet get muddy, praps he needs to look on the bright side of life. Tangy also gets letters from someone called ‘the Wanderer’… it’s not Wendell is it? Found Gulliver, but he only gave me another Mouth of Truth. Great, now I still don’t have any room in my house. Found a snowball, but then I lost it in the river, couldn’t find any headless snowmen… is that a Super Mario 64 homage by the way? Back to top
December 26, 2002
Got a letter back from Bea. First off all, Bea didn’t understand my letter. Excuse me while I go mope around all depressed-like. Secondly… Bea’s a girl. She said something aboot how a girl likes getting letters, but not if she can’t understand them. I guess Dragonball Z threw me off. Tangy went on and on aboot making slushies in the snow like it’s a new invention… well I guess someone who’s got the complexion of an orange would tend to say such things. He also keeps trying to sell me stuff, so I should be on guard. Still can’t find Welly anywhere, bummer. Went to Nook’s got flag and candles… is there some sort of connection between that and a menorah? Savannah went on and on aboot snowflakes, bah. I talked to Gabi for the first time in 4 weeks… why wont she move out already?!?!!? Oh, and she says ‘croak-kay’ now. Gracie hated that I was wearing her outfit, and said something new. Something aboot her car being avant-garde, and now this is a wash-in hick-town. I did pretty bad washing her car, but I was kind of expecting to. Still, I attacked her and her little car too. Back to top
December 27, 2002
I took a rubber tree off Bea’s hands. Copper says nothing’s going on. Queer took all the items in the Lost & Found, and Booker was afraid I’d be mad. Gabi stole Tangy’s juice+snow=slushies theory, while Tangy’s still trying to sell/give me stuff. I made a big snowball, but lost it in the water. It was larger than me actually. Static says I zip around like a dang hummingbird… I think I like him. Back to top
December 28, 2002
Still no Welly… I don’t think he’s coming. I got K.K. Folk from Slider… kind of sounds like a theme to a western movie, yet clearly Arabian on my stereo. Bea’s still talking aboot queer, saying they’ve lost touch… she was just here a few days ago. Tangy says the same thing, even though they must have just met. Twiggy says Shitton on the snow is romantic… what a sicko. I caught a bitterling and gave it to Blathers, where I learned I had already given him one… at least I got to hear that Blathers hates fishes too. Wow, he must hate his job in general. In any case, I miss the red snappers, good source of income. I learned how to make a snowman, but the second snowball was in between the lighthouse and the river, so I of course accidentally dropped it in there trying to get it. Back to top
December 29, 2002
Still nothing from Copper. New item in the Lost & Found!!!! I guess the amount of items there does affect the likelihood of new stuff, or maybe how often it’s used? It was a manhole cover, which I already have, in any case. Tangy’s always out and aboot, and it’s beginning to upset me. T-Bone thinks playing around at night is a bad idea… he must have never been a teenager. Finally tied my old record agin in the money rock game. Caught a dace, which apparently is new but reminds me of a smelt. Always sooo many weeds… Prince agin proved his absolute stupidity by explaining to me why there isn’t still snow in the summer like it’s some sort of revelation. Went to Nook’s sale, not much as usual but got a new bunny balloon. Back to top
December 30, 2002
Sprocket decided to choose this day to move out and ruin my New Years. His replacement is a duck named Scoot. He’s the kind of guy that insults you to your face but then says he was kidding so you don’t kill him. Nothing from Nook or the dump, and Officer Copper doesn’t even comment on K.K. or Joan. All he says is that it’s ‘another peaceful day in Shitton.’ I’ve heard of slow days, but come on! Why’s everyone assume that just because I didn’t talk to them earlier in the day that I’m afraid of snow? I’m not the one complaining aboot my feet getting wet! …sorry Bea, that was mean. Back to top
December 31, 2002
The lights are finally off the trees, so not that bad a day. The raffle was the same as always: 3rd prize on my first try, no prizes the rest of the time. On the bright side, third prize was a lawn gnome! YESS!!!! I put him in front of the NES because he didn’t look right in front of the toilet. Played a game of trivia with Static, got a gold stereo for my troubles. That’s 3 and 0 for playing trivia. There was a new item in the Lost & Found, thereby proving my theory. It was just tile paper though. At the New Years Eve party, it was Scoot, Velma, Sandy and Gabi. I spent time fishing while waiting for midnight, also found many fossils and weeds I missed. No new fish though. Bea was asleep in bed afterwards, and Tangy was asleep by his door. It took awhile for me to find Tortimer, he gave me a noisemaker to put in my house (can’t use it, too bad.) He says he’s been doing these festivities for two years… like this town existed before I got here. Nets, unfortunately, do not work on countdown attendees. I visited the museum, and got bit AGIN. The actually changing of the year was nothing special, but the fireworks were a nice touch. Back to top
January 1, 2003
Couldn’t find the New Years Day festivities at the well ‘plaza’… found out later I came in too late. Nook’s already advertising in honor of the new year. Maybe this one be an exercise in pain for you, you dirty vermin. Still, it’s nice to finally have four pieces of furniture to choose from at Nookway. Bought a harp. Had to press ‘OK’ to deposit money this time, don’t remember having to do it before. I’m at 3 million thanks to ‘Mom’s gift of 10,000 Bell. Redd comes tamarra. Back to top
January 2, 2003
Finally got an Emi figurine from Nook, but still short of the full figurine collection. Bought a bass (like the instrument?) and retro stereo from Redd at great cost, but meh. Yet another new item in the Lost & Found, but just tile paper agin. Finally got Welly mad due to excess weeds around Gaston’s… two more sprouted up in the same acre you see. I did the money rock, and got the feeling I could do one better than I have if I was lucky and in the right position (stuck between rock and something else... prolly a hard place.) Back to top
January 3, 2003
Twiggy complained that I didn’t show up until the night. He’s lucky to see me at all! Shitton’s back to ‘perfect’ apparently. Tangy got his first bonking fo refusing to sell me 100 turnips for 8 Bells each. Would you shush aboot queer already, Bea? Shook trees for a minute, for the first time in awhile. I got 2 100 Bell bags, no bees. Found Nebula shirt in the dump, liked it for some reason. Nothing worth noting from Nook. Dizzy paper was added to the Lost & Found, bringing the total items there up to five. Gaston and Static think I didn’t talk to them before because I crashed all day. I swear there’s aboot .1% of difference between them, and .2% between them and Fang. I miss Fang. Back to top
January 4, 2003
Nook’s having a carper sale tamarra. No new mail, but hey, when neighbors are always leaving no news is good news! I wonder, does a report from Copper that nothing’s going on correlate with a greater likeliness for new items to appear in the Lost & Found? Found an igloo finally, made by Velma. Talking to her was as if I’d already asked her ‘What’s up’ and the like, meaning she wanted me to sell her my lamentoid for a certain price. Luckily I could refuse. Quite a nice pot of soup/stew there by the way. Velma called me a sniveling coward when I chose not to play the other game of chance after getting rid of all items I was carrying she might try to take. Since I couldn’t bonk her, I wrote her a letter telling her how being a coward was the only way she was going to survive once I took over, and called her something you can’t spell without IGN. Chose K.K. Salsa from Slider, not bad at all. Tangy says everyone looks out for Nook, proving the deranged theory of the Nook Resistance Headquarters. Found a dainty painting behind a tree from a scavenger hunt, gave it to Blathers of course. I can’t believe I haven’t gotten the Mona Lisa yet. Back to top
January 5, 2003
Someone tell me the balls go away at some point… Nothing new in the Lost & Found for two days now, even though there’s only five items so far. Dang that Tangy, always out and aboot. Scoot tells me I have interesting eyes. I decided to tell him I felt the same way, but it only made him think I was psyching him out. Well, it’s not like heterosexual relationships appear possible in this game, why should I complain? The snowball was as usual an inch from the water, and no amount of hitting it with a shovel or net was going to change that. Twas all in all an extremely quiet night in Shitton. Ugh, everyone always wonders what I’ve been doing up until then if I see them at night. What if I can’t play this game any other time, huh? I’ve got to stop talking to my neighbors while carrying gyroids and pieces of furniture. Still, I’m at risk of getting my house painted without them, so I should continue to avoid asking ‘What’s up’ and the like. I finally got rid of my extra empty cans through letter writing. Now to see if the game can understand simple phrases. Decided not to find Tangy, I’m sick of his need to be away from home. Back to top
January 6, 2003
Velma insists I reply to the letter I gave her. Must not have understood a dang word I said. I swear, I just dread the day my next neighbor leaves. Katrina comes on the 8th, I wonder if it’s worth trying to get a fortune agin. New item in the Lost & Found, bluebell paper. Meh. Might prove my theory wrong though. I swear, Nook never gets any stationary I don’t have no more. I finally got to brag to Twiggy that I caught a coelacanth, she was a bit overdramatic in being upset. Snowball’s in the same place as yesterday… Mr. Snowman shall pay for this indignity. Static’s happy the holidays are over… I love that guy. Hambo got himself an igloo. Played a stupid game with him, it was rigged, but it only ended up in me paying him 380 Bells for a neutral corner. Still, this calls for a nasty letter. I threatened him with severe consequences if he didn’t give me the red corner I still need. On a related note, Scoot learned the nickname I taught to Hambo. Good thing insults don’t get to me… Back to top
January 7, 2003
As predicted, Scoot didn’t understand my letter. What’d I write him agin? Hambo moved his igloo to avoid my wrath. Turns out it’s neither soup nor stew, it’s ‘chowder’. Velma says she’s got a headache because she had problems sleeping last night. Sure… I made a snowman finally, but he complained because he’s fat. I bonked him good, but he didn’t flinch. I hate it when my creations don’t act thankful for their existence. Katrina tamarra, nothing new from the Lost & Found, Nook sold large items that I already have, which made the store look cramped. Back to top
January 8, 2003
Hambo response to my threats was to ask me to play tether ball sometime. He is sooo dead. Nook ain’t selling nothing. Why is it I never see anyone hit on my neighbors but they keep talking aboot it? Must be full of themselves. Katrina later today. Tangy’s worried the river will freeze over. At least it’d be something new. Savannah pushed the snowball in the place of no return into the river this time, so I bonked her. I mentioned something aboot handing out ‘tissues’ right? Well Gaston’s still complaining. Back to top
January 9, 2003
Despite my best efforts, Scoot’s gone. It’s days like these that make you wonder why you really try. Nah, I think I’ll blame the game instead. Stupid game, you don’t work right! If I talk to a guy and send him a letter, and Welly’s happy with the town, then he should stay! Bah! There, I feel better now. Twiggy was foolish enough to bury a Pitfall in the F acres. My new neighbor’s Aziz the lion, which is technically a cat, so I guess it could be worse. His house is crowded, but the fountain’s nice. Prince gave me an advertisement to buy a link cable for the GBA to GCN hookup. I’d be mad if I hadn’t bought it anyway. Still, commercials are evel. Bought a new umbrella from Nook for the first time in awhile, since the sunflowers on it were purty. Finally got around to getting my starman from Nintendo Power. Let’s see how Nook deals with an INVINCIBLE LUWIGI!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!!!! Not that I couldn’t have gotten the starman long before NP gave the code out, mind you. Bonked Twiggy to heck of course. Katrina says that hard working flowerpots sing. Technically that’s correct, but only in groups, and it depends on the level of physical labor. Hambo came out of hiding, so I bonked him for his stupid game. His nickname for me sounds much better when he’s angry. Baabara made an igloo. She called me a sniveling coward too, so that’s a bonk for her. Apparently Officer Copper gets upset when people break into other people’s houses and play their NES games. Well they sure do a good job of hiding those NES games from me, in any case. Velma’s hungover agin. I wonder how long it’ll take Aziz to wear my shirt… Back to top
January 10, 2003
Much mail today. ‘Mom’ said something aboot me breaking my arm falling from a tree and how much fruit the tree produced that year. I have no idea what she’s trying to say, maybe I bled and gave it nutrients or something, but she gave me a useless peach anyway. I can’t even remember breaking a bone anyway. The acre around Gaston’s was too weedy agin. Bonked Twiggy for the Pitfall agin, then Velma and Hambo for the heck of it. Static hinted at the legendary money tree. Never did get a 30,000 Bell bag to work. Wendell comes in on the 12th. Aziz has Lucky K.K. playing in his house, which sounds very medieval. I should ask for it tamarra. Tangy and Bea were both out and aboot today. Tangy thinks K.K.’s eyebrows look drawn on, prolly with a fat marker. I knew those cats had no respect for dogs. Spent 5 minutes bonking and pushing Sandy because she wouldn’t stop telling me to stop. Gabi made an igloo, tried to get me to play a game where I could lose every Bell I was carrying if I guessed a symbol right. Then she called me lame when I turned her down. Let this be a lesson to us all: people who build igloos are complete jerks. Shun them at every turn. Did a long errand for Hambo, got Bells in return. Back to top
January 11, 2003
Four weeds appear to have sprung up in Acre A-2 overnight. Bah! Got a lot of my fossils out of the saved letter department to make room for new saved letters. Found an optical shirt in the dump. At least Savannah’s nice enough to think I was playing NES all day and not sleeping when I talked to her. Bought a glow clock from Nook, didn’t bother to check if it works in the dark. Aziz also thinks he’s all brawn and no brains like Hambo. Bea was actually worried when I didn’t show up until 8. She wants me to visit each morning now. Ugh. Prince built an igloo, but decided not to play any games. Requested Lucky K.K. from Slider, since I heard it at Aziz’s. It’s aboot as good to hear live as on the stereo, but I like both a lot. Did a ‘tap the control stick in different directions’ sort of jig once I put the song in, then called it a night. Back to top
January 12, 2003
Finally got that plesiosaur skull I was looking for, thereby completing my fossil collection! Oh stop bragging aboot how you did it before me. Nook was selling a barbecue too! It came with ready-made burgers and hot coals! T-Bone tells me he’s spent all night and day thinking aboot how weird a name he has, and then asks me if I think he’s a freak. Ummmm… yes? Gabi’s got igloo duty agin. Apparently there’s fish in the chowder. Tangy was outside his door today! Like…. whoa. Tangy wants to know why the top of trees vanish when you cut them down. He too, is getting too close to the truth. Praps I should make sure Nook doesn’t take him in the middle of the night. If the Lost & Found never tops six items, then why the bloody heck is there room for so much more?!?!? Just realized that when neighbors say they’re so lucky to be talking to me first thing in the morning, and something aboot their day being so blessed… it’s prolly sarcasm. So hard to find the shiny spot in the snow… just gotta be on the lookout for what looks like yellow snow. Got a tree-lined wall from Wendell for a bass. Found out that Joan as well does not flinch when I bonk her with my net. The following is Blathers’ info on plesiosaurs: they ruled the seas, there were two main types, long necked smallheads and short-necked bigheads. Plus, they ranged from 8 to 46 feet long (big range there.) He also says the fossil collection’s now complete. No prize of course, just a thanks and congratulations. Came back in the evening for a bit. Sandy showed me a letter aboot an elephant that liked visiting here and decided she’ll prolly move in. I hope that was just random, the last elephant thing here was bothersome. Plus, then someone else would have to move… Back to top
January 13, 2003
All the animals ever talk aboot is the snow when it snows…. which it did today. Frankly, if there’s snow on the ground, it doesn’t really matter to me whether it’s falling or not. Bought a grass model from Nook, that took long enough to get. Why is one of the signs in Shitton aboot how the white zone is for the immediate loading and unloading of passengers only? Crazy game designers, getting my hopes up for an airport. Prince is still talking aboot moving out, even though he’s the last frog. Gracie on the 15th, I’m itching to get me some exclusive clothing. Better practice somehow, get my fingers and thumb in shape. That’s fingers only mind you, I’ll have no comments aboot exercising my wrist here. Found a Pitfall before I knew someone had buried it. Kind of unnerving, considering I could have just walked right into it. Tangy made me play a ‘choose the item game’, got another glow clock but you know, at least I didn’t have to pay. Still, I trust him less and less as the days go by… Static says he’s freezing his tail off…. I wonder if any animals who don’t have tails would say the same thing… then agin, most mammals, lizards, and I guess even birds do. Savannah’s in the igloo today. Is it my imagination, or do more errands tend to send me to a new neighbor up to a few days after the animal’s moved in? Well in this case, Static sent me to get his handkerchief from Aziz who sent me to… Savannah. Idiot. Well, LuWigi may not get you your item until you’ve forgotten aboot it, but he’s not aboot to apologize to Welly! Today I learned a very important lesson: snowballs cannot be sent over cliffs. Stupid game. Back to top
January 14, 2003
‘Mom’ found an old picture of herself and remarked on how attractive she looked. I think I’d very much appreciate if I never got another letter from her agin. Savannah remarked how she knew it would be cold, but didn’t expect it to be snowing. You know it literally can’t snow if it’s too cold. Bonked Gabi for the Pitfall... seems more of a chore than any fun nowadays. And Static, who had igloo duty, called me a chicken for not playing a game for an item I already have, so he must pay as well. Bah. You know what? I wish I had ears… yeah that’d be nice. Back to top
January 15, 2003
Apparently the lake won’t freeze this year. Bummer. Weather report says more snowmen and igloos. Tortimer gave me the lighthouse job. Meh, I guess I’ll do it. He said anyone I trust can help me… but that leaves Bea and maybe Tangy. I wish I could take a vacation…. (Coming Soon: Animal Crossing Vacation Expansion! No… you’d need something like the N64DD to do that…. Tangy forbid me from fishing because I don’t care if the lake freezes over… so I bonked him. Bea got worried when I didn’t come at the usual time. That puppy’s nuts sometimes. Bonked Static to heck for yesterday and threatening me for not returning his handkerchief… like it’s my fault. Apparently Gracie also makes clothes in Hyrule… I don’t remember seeing any giant-headed giraffes in any Zelda game… though there were those large headed bulldog-things. I won Gracie’s game of rapid button pressing agin! Gots me a groovy shirt and a headache for my troubles, but it was worth it. Welly’s fine as usual, must remember to come back at 6, and I saw Static singing happily for a sec, which is very unlike him.
Came back around 7:30, but the lighthouse was already on. How odd… though I guess it makes sense that Tortimer’s vacation begins tamarra. Twiggy was in an igloo, apparently there’s potatoes in that chowder too because Twiggy says my chicks look like them, pasty and plump. You’ve put on a little weight there too, birdbrain. Found two snowballs very close to each other, and came very close to a perfect snowman, but apparently the head was too big. I’m starting to hate snowmen… Back to top
January 16, 2003
Turned on the lighthouse, the inside is quite nice, but ultimately useless. Deposited some cash in the bank. Nothing worth noting from Nook agin. Bea got upset when I told him I don’t lose where I bury things agin. She’s so touchy sometimes. Tangy angered Bea, and thinks you’ve got to stay active in winter. Good for him for both. Many weeds to pull as usual. Katrina comes on the 18th. Didn’t have much time to do things today, kind of busy outside of the game. I’ve really got to get back to the island this weekend already. Back to top
January 17, 2003
‘Mom’ sent me a nice umbrella I hadn’t seen before, so maybe she isn’t completely useless. Bea likes sunny days, because she feels warm even in the snow. Meh, I guess it’s a bit better. Tangy tried to cover up that he forgot my name. Sue E. had igloo duty, same games I don’t want to play. Bought an alarm clock from Nook, but as usual didn’t bother to test it out. My… snowman’s still there? Hambo said I have the worst timing with jobs, so I bonked him. Found many gyroids for the first time in awhile. Came back to turn on the lighthouse. Tangy again tried selling me turnips for cheap then taking it back, so I bonked him. Sent away some fossils (don’t know why I bother anymore) and called it a night. Back to top
January 18, 2003
Savannah called me a scamp for not seeing her until 5, so she got a bonking. Bought a leaning stone from Nook. Despite getting stuck between the rock and a tree, only tied my old record at money rock. First time I’ve seen a soccer ball in awhile for some reason, not that there aren’t other types of balls out every day. Traded Bea my leaning stone for a watering trough. Not sure why anyone would want something for farm animals inside their house exactly, but whatever. Changed the design of my background to dice (I think Mahjong dice technically.) Look at that lighthouse light go! WHOOO!!! Or something. Read Sandy’s letter, and realized it was ‘Mom’ addressing Sandy to be friends with me, not the other way around! DARN YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE!!!! Must have been the same way with Bea… I hope she didn’t befriend me out of pity. Ugh, I hate that ‘woman’. Decided to request K.K. Song, since I heard it came from Mario Paint. While that’s technically true, it’s just a variation of “I’m a Little Teapot” that comes after the O-bomb blows up in the title screen. Middle part seems pretty new though. Back to top
January 19, 2003
Aziz left… well at least it’s not someone I got to know. Bought a bonsai from Nook. Bea’s got igloo duty today?!?! Bought a regal lamp from her, since I don’t have one. I guess I don’t have to bonk her then. New neighbor is Billy, who is of course another goat. At least it makes sense for him to have a beard. Plus he says ‘dagnaabit’, which is coo. Looks like I can’t top 1 10,000 Bell bag in money rock after all. Bummer. Was stuck between the rock and the river and everything.
Came back for a bit to turn on the lighthouse. I wonder if I’ll be able to go in after Tortimer comes back. I doubt it. Talked to Billy and Sue E., come to think of it that pig has class. Now when do I get the Mona Lisa already? T-Bone acts like thinking that fishing in random spots is a good idea is crazy. I dunno aboot you, but I don’t look for little shadows of fish when I cast out. Bea says it’s fish chowder. Such interesting facts I find out aboot that bowl of chowder when I come into the igloo. Also, it’s apparently not very filling. Looks like a big enough bowl to me… you’d think she’d offer me some. Actually, she did after I talked to her enough times (part of me wants that DUMMY item, the other part fears it.) Too bad I can’t grab a bowl. Back to top
January 20, 2003
Nook has a carpet sale at 1 tamarra. Weeds sure are spread out today. Bea insists I let her buy the carpets on sale. Meh, I prolly won’t like them, but if I do, sorry puppy, but I don’t really care aboot your collection. Found a weight bench in the dump. Always wanted one of those. If Prince ends up being the last of my original neighbors, I’m gonna be upset. Nothing coming up that Copper knows of. Snowballs make really weird noises when you smash them into the edges of cliffs. Weirder than just stepping on snow, for that matter. Caught a mole cricket, then released it to save space. Didn’t know they spent enough time on the game that the bugs will go into the water if you release them by the edge of it. Even made a splash.
There’s waaaay too many weeds around for my second time through the town. Gabi’s been learning Japanese, and offered to let me learn it with her. Like I have the option of doing that. You know, I don’t know why, but having a language teaching program in AC2 sounds like a pretty good idea… Oh, and you can destroy snowballs with shovels too! Woo… hoo. Took 20 minutes to find Sue E. for an errand, and when I did, she both changed Tangy’s outfit to be like Bea’s and messed up his voice somehow. Now it’s like a balloon on a chalkboard, or something. Finally got around to going to the island. Flash says I look thinner, same thing he said last time, lambada and so on, been gone for 5 weeks apparently. Got two insects from trees, but couldn’t tell if I had donated them or not, so did it agin. Blathers insisted I release the insects outside when it turned out they both were duplicates. He’s such an insectophobe or something like that. He also says that their collection is coming along quite nicely. I hope taking the oranges from in front of Tangy’s house doesn’t make him move out. Flash got upset when I took too long to rescue him from being trapped, so fruit gathering was cut a bit short (made two trips.) Only got 3 30,000 Bell bags for my troubles.
Came back to turn on the lighthouse and sent away five fossils (one was in my basement.) Took tile paper from the Lost & Found to be able to send them all. Noticed the island’s making me slightly tanner agin. Back to top
January 21, 2003
‘Mom’ is watching inspiring movies apparently. I hate how serious people act in those. This tan is beginning to annoy me too for some reason. One of these days I’m going to leave those annoying fossils in the ground I tell ya. I wish the animals would shut up aboot me not visiting until the night. I mean, if I just skipped today and came back tamarra morning, they’d be fine and dandy with it! At least Bea accuses me of playing NES all day. Copper’s saying that it’s just another peaceful day in Shitton agin, and Gaston and Static are telling me the same things agin. If I do the lighthouse thing every day, does that mean I don’t get chocolate? Bummer. Billy took igloo duty. I wish I could eat his chowder, just to show him not to accuse me of such things. Or something. Back to top
January 22, 2003
‘Mom’ thinks that leaving among ‘beasts’ will influence me not to brush my teeth. Nope, I brushed just as little in the plumbing business as living among mushrooms. Another scavenger hunt for an item I already have today, this time a green wardrobe. It’s snowing for the first time in awhile. T-Bone’s excuse for the day for not leaving the village for a day and coming back is that it’s snowing. Pansy. Tangy suggests ripping queer off using my gyroid assistant to make money. A glitch in the game has caused two objects to inhabit the same area, in this case a basketball and a snowball. Might have something to do with them both being next to Copper. Redd on the 24th. Bea’s feet get frozen in the snow… has she ever lost a toe? Found a club shirt in the dump, but nothing from Nook, and no new Lost& Found item.
Sandy mentioned that writing letters is essential or whatever, so I wrote her demanding a piece of furniture, threatened Billy in the event that he leaves town, and insulted Gaston and Baabara. Now if only they could understand me (if there’s a sequel, word-recognition programs better improve a LOT.) Quickly turned on the Lighthouse, pulled weeds, found the scavenger hunt item accidentally, then called it a day. Back to top
January 23, 2003
Tortimer gave me my lighthouse model, said it should smell like hot springs due to his vacation. Reminds me of the hot springs in Nimbus Land of SMRPG for some reason. But the question is…. why are they selling models of Shitton’s lighthouse somewhere else? Anyway, it turns on when you touch it, so that’s coo. Bea was upset agin that I didn’t see her until the night. Lost & Found had a new item, a corn plant. Left it there, despite that meaning no more new items there for awhile. I can tell I did a good job with the lighthouse, since I haven’t seen Gulliver in awhile. Or something. Hambo was worried I’d cut down too many trees… I guess he doesn’t talk to Welly. I wanted to enjoy Tangy’s joke and see what furniture I’d get, I really did… but I couldn’t. Sorry, you citrusy kitty you, but I’ve got to me. Back to top
January 24, 2003
No one understood my letter, but Billy pretended to with a random response. Apparently he likes samba. Velma thinks I’m too dense to notice the cold… have I mentioned that before? Either way, she got a bonking. Having Tangy wear the same shirt as Bea is kind of weird really. Static mentioned how it must be hard for a little runt like me with all this snow… but unless my eyes deceive me, he’s shorter. Gaston said crud aboot the bottoms of his feet being all frozen. Just thought I’d point that out. Billy mentioned how my nose was dripping like crazy, so I bonked him for being able to see more detail on my face than I can. Got a coconut palm plant from the dump, so now I can have them both inside and out. Back to top
January 25, 2003
Groundhog Day festivities apparently begin on February 2… at 7 am. Mega bummer, that. Hambo’s agin doing the igloo thing. Bea was ONCE AGIN upset that I came in during the night, so I bonked her. That puppy needs to learn to respect how I spend my time. It’s pretty bright around 5 o’ clock, especially for the winter. Bought a cabin chair from Redd, since I had the other items. Too bad you can’t see his sign (Black Market with the Black crossed out) with the snow. Town was covered in weeds today. Tangy’s trying to get through the maze in the back of his Nintendo Power… I guess they might have had a maze at one point or another. More importantly… where is he hiding the GameCube he must have for such a subscription to be useful? He already told me that he doesn’t have a Game Boy Advance… Anyway, I helped him out by always picking right… that’s the ‘right’ way, you see. Took us awhile though. Hey, remember in the Ocarina of Time, when you’d do something to those rocks with the eyes, and they flash colors then rocket away? That’s what the money rock reminds me of. Not that I found it today, mind you.
Decided not to request anything from K.K., got K.K. D&B… what’s that mean agin? Decent tune though, quite relaxing. Back to top
January 26, 2003
Nook’s having a clothing sale tamarra at 4. FARLEY FINALLY APPEARED!!!! WHOOO!!!! He’s got a weird bump on his nose, a pink flower on his green hat, and a gnarled brown cane. Oh, and his beard’s white. He appeared in a puff of smoke! There were also sparkles. I think his voice is unique too, though it kind of sounds like a goat’s. Did a victory dance after getting the golden axe. So anyway, apparently he wasn’t full of poppycock before. Took him long enough though. Of course, my first item of business was to attack the tree behind the well with my new golden axe… but to no avail. Bummer. Both Gabi and Twiggy are studying Japanese today. Bea and Tangy are going on aboot queer agin. Spent some time hitting various things with my golden axe, of course no damage to either though. Still, axe should come in handy in case Bea ever leaves. Back to top
January 27, 2003
Billy and Prince seem to be in a good mood today. So is the idea that all dogs are hipsters, even if they have to hide it like Officer Copper? If so, I wonder when Booker will come out of his shell… Went to the island to drop off gyroids… I think the next time the house gets full, I’m going to just bite the bullet and sell all my gyroids, even if I can’t reorder them. Caught a drone beetle while I was there, agin forgetting I had already donated one to Blathers. Caught a red snapper for the first time in months. T-Bone built an igloo, then did a Prince and forgot his own name. Bought a space shuttle (which looks quite neat really) and a mugho bonsai from Nook. A note of advice: try not to stare at Nook’s nose while he’s talking to you, it can make you quite uncomfortable really. Savannah says fitness is important, Bea wants me to come visit every day at the same time. STOP TRYING TO CONTROL MY LIFE WITH CONFLICTING DEMANDS!!! Did I mention I need more storage now? Stole some stationary from the Lost & Found to get rid of the dang fossils. Bea was trying to get me to sell the copy of Baseball I brought back from the island. I hope she don’t turn on me anytime soon. Sandy gave me another Pitfall in the ‘choose the RIGHT one’ game. I’m pretty apathetic towards her, but she has proven to be quite trustworthy. Did a mini-fruit run for the heck of it. Kapp’n’s trying to cover up that he can’t go to and from the island because The Powers That Be are the ones that turn his boat around. You know, the music on Animal Island reminds me of Mario Golf, more the GBC version I think. Anyway, got 3 30,000 Bell bags agin. Why does Nook always look the wrong way when giving me my balloon at a sale? Anyway, the balloon was yellow and pretty, and I bought the dang ribbon shirt. Back to top
January 28, 2003
Bought some I-beams from Nook. Billy’s boring, but I like when he says dagnaabit. Stop the gyroids, I want to get off! Wendell on the 30th. Tangy’s a lot like me, when people do things we thought of, it cramps our style. Not that I can go into Twiggy’s house and play NES games… she hides them too well. I wonder if I should bother pulling weeds anymore either… well I am anyway. Now where’d those snowballs go? Found one… then Twiggy pushed it in. Idiot. Back to top
January 29, 2003
‘Mom’ says I smell like spoiled milk. ‘She’s quite lucky I don’t know her address. And the neighbor-moving-out of the week is… VELMA!!! WHOOO!!!! BON VOYAGE BEARDY!!!! Frankly, I can’t think of a better candidate to move out. I mean, Baabara is good for a laugh, Gaston and Static have really grown on me… nope, Velma was my top choice for moving out. Sorry to brag if you’ve still got her in your town. Funny thing to see the sign boards still around where she was. I swear, if every moved-out neighbor gets replaced with a sign, then things are going to get pretty crowded around here real quick. Anyway, my new neighbor is Mallary, a duck who thinks she has movie star looks. Meh, whatever she says, all I know is I like ducks. Unfortunately, she has a lisp, and keeps saying quackpth, so that’s going to get annoying. I think she’s sposed to be all arrogant and such like Baabara, Sue E., and the late Velma, though her personality’s different. Still, it’s not all that bothersome. Her house is all orange and tan and tile-ish, that’s the best way I know to explain it. Only bad part of this situation is that now I miss Scoot… T-Bone sent me on the epic quest ‘The Return of the Item.’ Nice to see some nerd humor in the game. The videotape… it came to me… it’s mine… Baabara will steals it from me… cursed sheepises…. Sorry aboot that. Weird that it’s a videotape agin, isn’t it? New item in the Lost & Found is… tile paper. Oh well. Gaston was being particularly jerky today, saying I should get a job and all… so I bonked him. Ha! Baabara had igloo duty, so the precious is mine! Well, for now anyway. Bea made Mallary sad, good for him, and I still can’t find Tangy. Found a 100 Bell bag that had been laying there for who knows how long. Back to top
January 30, 2003
Bea’s life saving is apparently under 2,000 Bells… I need to fix that. Bought a globe from Nook. Prince says playing outside at night is a bad idea. Sheesh, I wish something a bit dangerous would happen every once in awhile in this boring town. Mallary was out and aboot, but found her pretty easily. She said my house wasn’t as nice as hers or Sandy’s so she got a welcome-to-Shitton bonking. Found Gulliver, he made a joke aboot how since it’s 2003 he’s been asleep for 150… minutes. He didn’t seem to recognize me, since he introduced himself agin. Did I mention his boat’s called the Crusty Barnacle? Must be a real beaut. Got a mermaid statue for my troubles anyway. Wait… it’s Thursday agin! Yup, I think it’s a pattern. He called Shitton’s beach lousy (which it is), but didn’t react when I bonked him. Oh, and I picked up a cannon from Nintendo Power last night. The firing bullet bill and noise are very nice touches, and dang is that thing huge! Resorted to selling my balloons and giving my gyroid items for storage. Yup, those other gyroids are going to have to go. The mermaid statue is kind of plain really, but I guess that’s to be expected from a port of an N64 game. Has Gabi always been calling me honeybun? The day finally came… Gaston had igloo duty. He actually didn’t want to con me out of money when I hid my items outside. Anyway, picked the unlucky card, but got an aloe, and it was under 2,000 Bells. Still, I’ll keep a note to myself to bonk him. Got a blue tarp from Wendell. I wonder if it really matters what fish you give to him… A scavenger hunt gave me another copy of Clu Clu Land. I wonder… nah, someone would have Punch-Out!! by now if that was the case. Tangy wants a planetarium… don’t ask me for it, ask Nintendo! Baabara was hard to find, until I realized she was still stuck in front of her house, whose view was blocked by the large apple tree I had planted. Bonked her twice for the igloo incident, gave her the videotape, then bonked her agin and resealed her into her house/front lawn. Back to top
January 31, 2003
‘Mom’ pretended to throw out some of my old comics, and therefore costing me millions of dollars on the secondary market. ‘She’ just wants to be hated, doesn’t she? Third prize at the raffle thing was this big lovely range thing, but I somehow won the second prize (red marble), which is a robot stereo. Kind of odd really. AND I ALSO WON THE THIRD PRIZE! W00T! Wait… I shouldn’t be this excited over a pink range and sink combo, should I? First prize was this chair thingy that I didn’t like. Billy doesn’t seem like the type to be ‘wired’, but he was apparently. Katrina comes on the 2nd. Took coco’s advice and attached some gyroids to letters before saving them to the post office. Certainly cleared things up, but will prolly be more effective once I take the ones from the island. Got a ranch wall and flooring in one day from doing errands. Chopped down a tree just to get the dang snowman done, then put him together upside down at the last second. CURSE ALL YOU SNOWMEN!! THERE WILL BE A DAY OF RECKONING FOR YOU!!! Saved and Quit to see if more snowballs would pop up, and found more (ugh) gyroids. Gave one away to Bea for the heck of it. Still, I gotta give her some cash already. No snowballs to be found, but wasn’t looking that hard. Back to top
February 1, 2003
Pete says to get the mailbox cleared out for Valentine’s Day. Sheesh, Groundhog’s Day hasn’t even happened yet. ‘Twas Static with igloo duty today. Tangy… referred to herself as an not being an old lady. WHY CAN’T I TELL GENDERS APART ANYMORE?!?!? Mallary said I shouldn’t become too attached to my items, since something might happen to them… so I bonked her. No one threatens me! Only 5 o’ clock, and the animals are still upset I didn’t show up earlier. I… think I might actually have made a good snowman, but I doubt it. It was difficult, but I got the two pieces together, he’s aboot my size, and the head’s smaller than his body. He called me a true master, but then called himself the cutest snowman. Is that a hint that he’s too small. Also, he’s not feeling any love, so he’s going to resort to hucking ice (is that a snowman slang for drug use?) Guess I’ll find out tamarra. But yeah, the model at home is larger.
Got DJ K.K. Quite upbeat, but sounds like a mix between a western and a RPG song. Sounds far more like a techno remix of itself at my place. Had some time to waste, so tried my hand at making another snowman… this time he’s got no complaints… other than being stationary. Hey, that’s not my fault… is it? Back to top
February 2, 2003
‘Dad’ says spring is coming… and that worries me. Caught Mallary sleeping in broad daylight. Freaky. Found a snowman in front of the well… is that the one from the day before yesterday or is someone else stealing my snowballs? Groundhog’s Day festivities were attended by Bea, Baabara, Gaston and Hambo. That’s a colorful combination really. Tortimer thinks the groundhog fairy hands out baby groundhogs today… not a bad plan, really. Bea seemed extra-excited, and told me if I had to go to the bathroom, I should do it now. Number One, I haven’t sat on any toilet in days, Number Two is there a hole in my pants or something? Dug up 30,000 Bells from a shiny spot, bringing up three questions: did I add yellow items to the right side of my house, is it just a side effect of the golden shovel, and I forgot to visit Katrina, didn’t I? Nope, Copper says it’s today. Tangy didn’t sleep at all last night, yet feels hyper… she’s a teenager, isn’t she? And the groundhog is… Arch-nemesis #2 himself. Anyway, he wore a suit, didn’t see his shadow, and didn’t let his brother who’s 1000 times more coo come out. All in all, a real bummer. Snowball went in the water agin. Why do the two pieces always have to be on the opposite ends of the river?!?
Came back around 6. Got a snowman tv for my trouble yesterday, which is quite nice. Bought an umbrella for the first time in awhile. I swear, Mallary and Pate have the same song when you talk to them for the first time. Now Tangy wants a shopping mall as well. Bea says winter is almost upon us… she’s completely forgotten aboot earlier today, hasn’t she? Dump was pretty full today, but not full of anything worth noting. Back to top
February 3, 2003
‘Mom’ told me I was always a bit slow… that’s it, I’m finding out where ‘she’ lives, and giving her a demonstration of my golden axe! Barricaded Hambo’s house with Velma’s signs, for reasons that are none of your business! (Fine, he pulled a Gaston on me, so I pulled a ‘get Resetti mad’.) Looks like I was wrong aboot Gulliver, it’s Monday and he was here. Apparently I questioned whether he was a real sailor, since he keeps falling off his boat. I’m a real jerk sometimes. Also, he thinks his sailor outfit is cute… that’s all I’m going to say. Something aboot sailors being rough and rugged, men or the sea, impeccable fashion sense… fine, I’ll say it. I wonder if he and Kapp’n have ever met. Yup, that aboot covers it. The same mermaid statue?!?! TASTE NET! The two snowballs are on the other side of the river agin, and I managed to smash it between a tree and a rock. Yet agin Tangy is like Gulliver, a rolling stone who never knows where she’s going. I wonder… has anyone actually gotten an animal to read their letter, and write back saying something relevant to what he or she said? Maybe I should work on that… after I get the snowman thing perfected anyway. Checked my catalog… I think I’ve got all the stationary now, since there’s a pink star by it. Coo, I guess. If so, there’s 64 pieces of stationary, and 25 different fossils. I’m really starting to like DJ K.K. Katrina says that atop a mountain, a shriveled-up helicopter be doing the limbo… ouch. Basically, she made it so animals avoid me… not bad, not bad at all. Sue E. said she was avoiding me because she heard bad rumors aboot me. First of all, I wonder who could have spread those… secondly, what kind of rumor could they say aboot me that is worse than the truth? Got a green counter from Static, since he was on igloo duty. Sue E. did the ‘appear at the edge of the screen from out of nowhere’ thing. My theory was wrong, the ‘pick one of three cards to determine the price’ is not always the middle card… just more likely to be. Second try at snowman making had my snowball crash into a wall on its way downhill to meet the other one. Stupid game. Third time, however, apparently was a charm, even though the top half refused to go onto the bottom for a bit, and he still looks a bit overweight to me. Back to top
February 4, 2003
Got a snowman dresser for yesterday. The trees seem… more blue, which I think is a bad sign. Bought a Yoko figurine and weight bench from Nook… is my figurine collection done now? Sue E. and Tangy’s voices were messed up for some reason. Praps it’s due to them being in a good mood, or the notes they whistle somehow glitching up their voices. Billy was in the igloo. Where are all the new fish already? Was pretty unmotivated to make a snowman, so stopped searching after 10 minutes or so. Back to top
February 5, 2003
Wallpaper sale on the 6th. I swear, anytime I get more than two letters I get freaked out. You know, the invincibility theme seems almost like a Mario Kart 64 remix. Yup, the trees are blue. Got a deep blue top from the dump that I don’t think I had before. It has a very rich color I think. Now where’d I put my groovy shirt? The island? You know it’s a bad day when you manage to tie your best record for money rock by getting between the rock and the river… only to find that the 10,000 Bell bag didn’t shoot out because an orange was in the way. Sue E. managed to get herself stuck at Gabi’s house while Gabi roamed free. Bummer for her. Sandy was in the igloo today. Maybe I should just give up on running errands, so very rare to get anything worth getting. Worked my butt off to get another snowman done, pushing a snowball up the hill, bringing it across many acres, trying to resize it by rolling it in patches without snow, since bringing it across those acres had made it too large and rolling the other one up a hill had made it large enough… but to no avail. I swear, they should have made this easier. Anyway, my large-headed snowman dwells on his own mortality, and that he may never find love. Sheesh, it’s just a game. Back to top
February 6, 2003
Spent some quality time marveling at how I can hit rocks with my golden axe and have no ill effects. Bea mentioned the importance of seeing the sunny day by getting out each and every day. Face it Nintendo, you’ve created an army of couch potatoes, it’s your own fault, and it’s too late to fix it now. Preaching to the next generation won’t help either. Copper’s been reduced to ‘just another peaceful day in Shitton’ agin. Finally caught a new fish, a koi. Mentioned something aboot whoever colored it did a really good job… I don’t get it. Anyway, Blathers says that although some fish bring in a higher price at the market, koi are special in some indescribable way, and that catching them is like catching a living fortune, or something. Finally got around to bonking Pete… no noticeable effect. His voice is low and scary, how could any female pelican dig him? Continued to pester him with talking, since he was asking for it. The jerk only delivered mail to queer! See if I ever stop to think of him before mailing five letters at a time… in fact, I sent away like 10 letters just because of that! All right, it was because I needed to get rid of fossils, but you get the idea. Anyway, I stole two stationeries from the Lost and Found to do it. Chased Pete as he flew away… I wonder if I could take a pic, make it look like he’s all big and chasing me and such. Booker apologized for me not being able to hold any more items. It’s so pathetic in a sad way… Whoever heard of giving Billy the same personality as Hambo? Bea was in a good mood for a bit, and suggested I had psychic powers… in order to try to trick me into something. Don’t do this puppy, or ye shall regret it. I searched for 20 minutes for the second snowball, only to find it was behind a tree and I knocked it into the lake (sea?). The game… the game will pay. Truly, @$$clown.
Came back to try the snowball thing agin. Tangy offered to let me make her say something other than ‘reeOWR’, but I took pity on her innocent mind and let her keep it. But then she passed it on to Sue E., making me realize mercy has no place in Shitton. Caught another stringfish. Nook offered me 15,000 Bell for it… so I decided to keep it. Yes, Nook, my spirit of rebellion lives on, and whatever you’d be willing to pay that much for I’m not aboot to give you! Oh, and come over and see what I’ve done with the house sometime, I’ll show you this neat little starman item I have… It appears that there is only a certain amount of spots in town that a snowball can appear. Therefore, the key is to find out these places, and memorize them to make this easier in the limited time I have left. Put a lot of effort into my snowman agin, trying numerous times to find snowballs and not ruin them, but in the end… the head was too small I guess. Back to top
February 7, 2003
Spent awhile working on a scavenger hunt for a ranch hutch. I hate it when things are hidden behind things. Wouldn’t be such a problem IF THE CAMERA WAS ADJUSTABLE!! I wonder why I tend to find more bags of money with my golden shovel behind Nook’s… Bought a Yuki figurine from him… the collection is complete now, right? Managed to get Nook to apologize to me when I tried to order K.K. Fusion, even though I knew I couldn’t… but it seemed like there was a hint of sarcasm in it. I decided it was aboot time to get into the Valentine’s Day spirit. Might as well try it once, you know? So I randomly picked Twiggy to be the source of my affections. Didn’t want to make Bea or Tangy uncomfortable, but as for Twiggy… she can leave tamarra for all I care. I started my sickening display of affection by putting flowers around her house… but that is just the start. MWAHAHAHA!!! Unfortunately, the birdbrain decided she had to do igloo duty today. She describes herself as sweet and tender… so maybe I shouldn’t be stroking her ego. But sheesh, not Baabara, anyone but that. I swear, her ego… ugh. Well I guess I could switch to Mallary… but I have better plans for her… well I will. Also, I was told my cheeks are like potatoes agin. I swear, even looking at Hambo now gets me mad. So I decided to boot him from town. How do you do that? Just write something like the following!
To that moron Hambo,
Congratulations! You have been
booted! You now have one (1)
day to leave town, otherwise I
will come after you with my 
golden axe.
	Remember, LuWigi ownz j00
Just attach a boot you picked up from fishing, and you’re done! All right, I know this was a bit hypocritical, being a former chatter at Nsider (stupid Mushroom Postage Service takes waaaay too long to send the renewal check out… blasted Parakarry), but how else was I going to get rid of that boot? Anyway, Copper says Wendell on the 9th. New item in the Lost & Found, that was fast. Twas a green desk, which I’ve forgotten if I have or not. Decided to go ahead with the hitting on Twiggy, and wrote a letter. It started with the ol’ stand-by ‘Hey baby’, used the phrase ‘ruffle your feathers’, and implied that a birdcage can be used for more than a permanent home for birds. All in all, a well thought out letter I think. I guess ‘reeeOWR’ is a big better than ‘snort’. Decided to send away the three fossils I had to make Pete do an emergency delivery. And now, the ode of Snowman:
From chilly sky to earth…
From freezing flakes to ball…
Formless, friendless, frozen…
Until you heard my call!
At least… I hope that means he’s perfect. Or is it a sign he’s too masculine? Bah, whatever. Back to top
February 8, 2003
Yup, the snowman gave me an item for my troubles, the snowman clock, and did a little ‘Time waits for Snowman!’ joke. Bought a new flooring and wallpaper from Nook. And the neighbor to move out on me was… Mallary. Meh, not bad. Twiggy thought I was ignoring her because I came in late agin. I swear, keeping a good relationship going is so hard nowadays. ‘Mom’ was upset aboot ‘Dad’ not responding to her asking him what he wanted for dinner, further supporting this. My new neighbor is this cute little penguin named Gwen. Wait… I get the feeling this is yet ANOTHER Baabara clone. Ugh. At least I like the tune that plays when I talk to her. Tangy got a bonking for his trickery with turnip selling agin (I don’t care how illogical it is, if someone offers to sell you 100 turnips for 6 Bells each and you’re sure they’re in good condition, you do it!) At least the gyroids I dug up this evening seemed to be ones I didn’t have 5 of already. Woke Bea up from her front door, but she went to bed before we could talk. Interesting thing happened. I walked into Prince’s house just as the clock struck 10. When I get in, there’s no one there and the lights are out. When I leave, it says he’s sleeping in there… IT’S A CONSPIRACY DIDI!! Looks like talking to animals after waking them up from their doorways messes up their voices too… is that on purpose? Another perfect snowman, only obstacle was rolling a snowball uphill. Now mind you, this still isn’t easy enough… it’s just that with the dedication and concentration of someone with no life outside of video games, a skill for it can be developed. To celebrate this lack of life outside this imaginary world (well actually because I had the opportunity for once), I bought myself a pack of Series 2 Animal Crossing E-reader cards. The Puddles card made me sad (yes, she was a frog, but she was a lot better than what’s-her-name… You know… I only notice now that Puddles is a funny name. Got a K.K. Country Town Tune card, but not aboot to use it. I wrote my dearest Twiggy another letter, which I would like to share with you (since it will prolly not permanently damage your innocent ears):
To my sweet Tangy,
Your beak is like a beautiful
beak-shaped thing, waiting for
the touch of my crudely-drawn
lips. Please gaze fondly at this 
tuna can, and remember it can
never hold my love for you.
	Remember, LuWigi (heart) j00
The E-reader letters didn’t contain anything special, but still fun to read. Now then…. WHERE’S MY PUNCH-OUT!!?!?!? Listened to K.K. Reggae, since I could find it in T-Bone’s house and I hadn’t heard it yet. It’s not Marley (not that I would know) but okie dokie otherwise. I wonder… will I ever see Don agin? Well I guess I could buy his card and see if that brings me any closer. Maybe he felt bad aboot telling me to ‘SCRAM!!’ and scrammed himself. Back to top
February 9, 2003
Lots of mail today for some reason. ‘Mom’ gave me a comfy sweater since it didn’t fit her. Great, just what I needed… TWO MONTHS AGO!!! Well, at least I don’t have it already. Hambo didn’t understand my letter. Twiggy said something aboot a baseball exhibition, which I thought meant she didn’t understand either… but then I saw the hearts in front of her name in her signature. She knows the value of a good double entendre too! Now to decipher what she meant… Let’s see… going to be so much fun, come see me soon… yup, it’s unmistakable. My dearest Twiggy did that cute little ‘push the ball into the water’ thing that makes me want to squeeze her tight… until she can’t breathe and dies. But I get the feeling she has a thing for queer… well, she’ll get over him soon enough. Plus, she did follow me into her home, so I think she’ll at least settle with me for this year. But then I went and made her sad by admitting I had already caught a coelacanth.. curse my big mouth. I hung around at T-Bone’s for a bit to try to cope with my own self-loathing. Then he had the nerve to get in front of my while I was sitting in his chair, trapping me for a good 7 seconds! Tangy says she likes rearranging her room, but can’t find a style that gets across her unique uniqueness… hello, your entire room is covered in fruit, just like your entire body! What more could you want? Gaston’s in the igloo agin. Getting rid of fossils in my saved mail to make room and selling the ones I received today left me depositing 60,000 Bells. Traded Wendell a bluegill for a music room wall. Dropped by the island, for storage purposes and to do a little fruit-money thingy. Ended up with 90,000 Bells agin. The two snowballs were on opposite sides of the town today. I swear, the game just loves to get me mad. I wonder… if somehow I was wrong aboot Kapp’n… would he and Tangy make a good couple? A guy who constantly complains of scurvy and the queen of citrus… Nah, Tangy would prolly try to eat him. Then agin, Bea and Tangy haven’t killed each other yet. Gave Twiggy a red snapper for half-price to make it up to her (she wants it to stop snowing, so I should work on that too.) Wrote Twiggy a letter of apology and accepted her offer… I wonder if she’ll get what ‘batting cage’ refers to. Static says I’m in fine fettle… stop trying to confuse me, it’s not working! Had a lot of problems with snowman building today (wanted to be sure I had all the furniture, even though I did get the fourth piece in the mail today.) After managing to get a snowball out of the crevice between the river and the lighthouse somehow, I still ended up with his head too big. Plus I ended up destroying like five snowballs beforehand. Back to top
February 10, 2003
Why do I keep getting so much mail? ‘Mom’ made a killing in the stalk market, so she turned my room into a spa. I’m going to find where this person lives, because as far as I’m concerned, that’s MY spa! Tangy told me to talk to the hand and that my letter made absolutely no sense… I didn’t accidentally send one to her, did I? In any case, she’s pretty snobby for having a complexion like an orange, you know? Oh well, at least Bea would respect me if I wanted a relationship with her… I hope. They both may have told me I shouldn’t oversleep, but Savannah got the bonking. Why? Because sometimes life just isn’t fair. Not that acting fair yourself doesn’t contribute to the re-establishment of a fair life, mind you. Twiggy says she doesn’t want any chocolate this year. Instead she wants furniture. Meh, I’m rich, and now I don’t feel so bad aboot having gotten a lighthouse from the mayor instead of chocolates (there’s always next year I guess.) Now I’d know what to expect on Valentine’s Day… except won’t update! Bea tried to sell me wallpaper or carpet for 43,000 Bells (prolly half of what I was carrying.) Has she gone mad… or is she jealous? New item in the Lost & Found was yet another tile paper. Blah. Tangy needs me to make it rain or snow so she can use her umbrella. If I did, praps Nook would finally cower in fear. The question is, how? Hmmmm… Action Replay. Definitely. Gabi was in the igloo, and she gave me the option of playing a game where the prize is a Yuki figurine, but the starting price if I pick the symbol is all my cash. I had to think a bit, but I decided against it, and to bonk her for putting me in that situation. It’s like I always said, never trust a rabbit. It turns out I made the right decision, since I did already have it. I think Bea turned herself around, because she was thanking me deeply and saying I do so much for her just for returning her comic book, even though it took like 15 seconds to do it. But I got a Toad print! YAY! Well… the t is lower-case, but I don’t know of any frogs that… oh wait, yes, it could be simply a reference to ‘toadstool’. But if others consider it a Mario-related item, then I’m happy to have it, so there. So many animals giving up their diets these days… must be a 2002-3 fad. I built a snowman, it was perfect, and T-Bone gave me a cabana vanity for my efforts. Not a bad day really. Got around to writing the passwords I got from the AC cards in letters to get additional items (like we’re really expected to take one or the other), and wrote to dearest Twiggy saying that I think we’re growing apart, and that she should come over to my place to discuss it. I’d mention something here aboot the inability to lock the door in this game, but that would be wrong. Since I sent in enough letters to warrant an emergency delivery, I already got my snowman present: a snowman fridge. I forget, do I have that already? Also got a response from Twiggy. She thinks I’m cutting down trees, but says ‘Come visit ANYtime!’ I really got to just hang around her house for an hour one of these days. Back to top
February 11, 2003
STOP SENDING ME LETTERS ‘MOM’!!! Something aboot going to the hot springs for some time to themselves, come back feeling like newlyweds, too much information there. I wonder if they go to the same hot springs as Tortimer… well old people are rarely willing to experiment and try new ideas, so no worries in either case. Anyway, they gave me a peach, though I have no idea why. Some rival for Twiggy’s affections is writing her letters, but it’s all nonsense aboot trees, and she didn’t know who it was from (she better not think it’s from me), so it’s not a problem. I waited around her house for a bit, she knew I was there… but she didn’t come in. Then talked to her, I think she thinks I’m cramping her style by playing other people’s NES games. I swear, if I could find any, I wouldn’t, honest! Got back up to 10,000 Bells in money rock for the first time in a bit. Bonked Gabi to heck as promised. Hambo was in the igloo. He told me his body heat was keeping the igloo warm, then attempted to warm things up through what I think was flatulence (didn’t bother to stick around and find out of course.) Baabara got my Twiggy mad, so I bonked her (all right, so I would have bonked her anyway. Sue me.) Decided that today I would finally win that dang wrestling game of Hambo’s. Took awhile, but in the meantime I ended up with an igloo model that’s not for sale in Nook’s catalog. I think the final combination I got right was wrist, head, wrist. And my prize? The item I had to pay for… but for free. Meh, he’ll be bonked to heck, but I still feel special. Found Gulliver. I vaguely remember mentioning him doing a Monty Python reference with a wafer thin mint and that dang waiter, but anyway, he did it agin. He claims he wrestled his shipmates, and didn’t play video games the entire night. It’s kind of sad that where I come from, it’s better to have played video games all night. Got yet another Chinese lioness. Nook has a sale tamarra at 5. Bea agin wants me to save the item for her. Bah. Wrote Twiggy another letter, the contents of which is, as usual, completely unrepeatable on this website. I find it’s best to lead them into thinking you’re going to say something sincere and then go for the vulgar punchline at the end. Kind of hard to do in such a limited space though. Perfect snowman, first try. I still say his head looks too big though. The mailbag somehow became full in my absence, or something. In either case, it wasn’t noticed the last time I left. Maybe the game does keep track of a letter’s journey to my house, and it doesn’t just end up in my mailbox? Or maybe it’s just with the snowman. Found out I didn’t have a green desk, so I took it from the Lost & Found, as well as some tile paper to send away fossils. Got the mail back from the E-reader cards. Vladmir gave me some newfangled haz-mat barrel, otherwise pretty basic stuff. Then I sold my green desk, classic bed (Dozer), and haz-mat barrel, and Nook offered to pay 1,337 Bells for it. You’re dang right I’m 1337, coonhead! Twiggy wrote me a cryptic letter. She applauded my village melody, but then said ‘I’ll miss you! See you soon!’ and signed it ‘Forever yours, Twiggy.’ For Miyamoto’s sake, NO! Why are there typos like unnecessary capitalizations in the letters I get from the E-reader cards? Can only use so many letters? I mean, the wording of the letter can’t actually be stored in password… can it? Back to top
February 12, 2003
‘Mom’ hates brussels sprouts, which I think is an official sign of being a bad parent, or something. Gabi upset Tangy, so she got bonked agin. The snowballs were close to each other for once, so pulling off a snowman was no problem. Tortimer’s taking a trip to a tropical island to see the sea turtles… ew. Anyway, I’m agin in charge of the lighthouse. Lazy bum, I could be a better mayor with my eyes closed. And it’s not like I’m going to get the chocolates in time for Valentine’s Day either. Savannah’s got igloo duty… and she’s saying cheepers. Bah, stop trying to confuse me! Sandy got upset when I confused her for Tom Nook. First of all, she was trying to be him, second, I had no choice but to play along, and third… I’m deeply sorry. No one deserves to be compared to that… thing. Ugh. Bea’s noticed that everyone around here wears short sleeves in winter… they will come for her soon methinks. Must be on the lookout. Gwen also has the cheepers bug. Well, at least my little feather-head is becoming popular. Wrote her a letter, and arranged to meet her on Friday. I included what every girl wants, a blue bookcase, as a gift, so she’ll be unable to resist me. Back to top
February 13, 2003
Wondered why T-Bone had a squeaky voice at the start of the game, until I realized that only his song when you first greet him is in bass. Twiggy says my letters are always weird, but is thankful for them and gleeful. Fair enough. She also says she only listens to punk rock at home, so I should change my outfit. I guess I’m out of Snowman items to get, since I got another clock in the mail today. Billy buried a blue corner. Bah, I wanted red. Or better yet, Punch-Out!! already. Welly told me that there’s something wrong with Shitton, but he’s not going to tell me what. Meh, maybe I should stop caring. It’s amazing how few gyroids I really have… seems to be four of each type: regular, mini, mega, and tall. I think Twiggy wants a GBA and a GBA to GCN link cable for tamarra. Now where am I supposed to find that in Shitton? Running errands? Gracie returns on the 15th. I hope I’m ready. Sandy dared to take half my money in that stupid five item game (the traitor took igloo duty), so it was off to see Resetti agin. And so the second time around to Nook’s I also bought a sign for later use. I swear, bonking these animals gets less and less fun… maybe I need to mix it up, or something. I found a Pitfall, and didn’t know why it was there. Turns out the game changed the scavenger hunt when I turned it off. Hmmmm… Welly’s back to everything being perfect this time around. Also, Sandy didn’t have igloo duty, so I bonked her to heck. You know, it’s far more satisfying to bonk them when they start crying and getting depressed. Reminds me of… something. Cut down some of the trees that haven’t grown in months. Twiggy said she liked the igloos when I talked to her agin, and the desire to bonk her was hard to overcome. Just two more days, just two more days… Found the money rock, and ended up needing to make a deposit. Take that, birdbrain! Is birdbrain the word I’m looking for here, considering the species of my darling Twiggy? Meh. NO!!! Bea has finally turned on me… by creating an igloo. Oh wait, she did that before. Well, no games for her! At least she offered to let me sample the chowder. Gaston thinks I’m a dweeb, Gaston gets a bonking. You know, I use to like it when it wasn’t so obvious that everyone here is my enemy. Wrote Twiggy a final letter, decided for more straight out vulgarity than any hidden meanings, double entendres, and such. You know, I’ll bet the animals don’t even read letters. Prolly was taken out at the last moment or something.
Came back for the lighthouse. Twiggy wants me to teach her to play horseshoes sometime. It took me awhile, but I don’t think she means I could use her as an example, just the opposite actually. You know, I’ve really got to find a Queen-sized bed. Or is this game like 1950s sitcoms, where it’d be too scandalous to show couples laying in the same bed? It’s good to see the inside of the lighthouse agin, but so soon? On an unrelated note, is it normal to look at your GameCube and feel sad that it doesn’t sit on top of a Game Boy Player? Back to top
February 14, 2003
How ironic that I had to do some letter rearranging/throwing out even before I checked my mailbox today. Truly surprising aboot the amount of letters I got. Sandy even said it’s her fault we haven’t been close and wants to make it up to me. If you’re trying to make me feel bad, it’s not gonna work! Twiggy wrote me back… giftie-poo? I… don’t really go for that kind of thing. Well hopefully she won’t put the moves on me, and I can dump her tamarra. Yes, that should work well. And Bea truly melted my heart:
Dearest LuWigi,
You’re the one I like the
most. Don’t tell anyone.
It’s not right to boast!
		From Bea

I… I’m not going to cry… *sniff* …wait, pretend I never wrote this in my public diary. Ahem, anyway… nice to have new fashions, but I have all of them already. Tangy gave me a winter sweater, so that should be useful next year. Then she insulted my fashion sense while I was wearing it, so she got a bonking (if anyone bonks away with the town canoe, you better believe that’s a bonking!) Bea gave me furniture, it was only a western fence… but I still think this is the best day I’ve ever had in Shitton. Seriously. And ‘Mom’ predicted I would be crushed by the stress of today. Ha! I spose it’s worth pointing out that Nook was selling both an orange cone a traffic cone today. New item in the Lost & Found is more stationary. Bummer. Kind of disappointing if the letters are the only thing to happen on Valentine’s Day… well it would be for someone else, anyway. Why’s everyone out and aboot today? Sandy was in the igloo agin, so she can forget aboot any mercy from me! Not in this town! Way too many weeds for Valentine’s Day… I think. Bea didn’t want to talk aboot what we’ve got going on in public (I can deal with that for some reason), but she let me win her ‘left or right’ game and gave me a Pitfall. It was then it became clear what I had to do. Bea still needed cash, and only I could save her. So I did the island thing for cash. When you start seeing Tetris blocks in your groupings of items… that’s bad, right? Ended up with 6 30,000 Bell bags, so very not bad. Wrote Bea a letter, saying how her letter lit up my day, and assured her that I got the money in a legal and ethical way. Back to top
February 15, 2003
Pete wants Valentines… and the romance story continues. Bought a phonograph from Nook. Talked to Twiggy without asking what was up, which I think implanted fear in her that our relationship was drawing to a close. But to make sure, I wrote her the usual ‘Welcome to Dumpsville! Population: You!’ letter. Bea thinks it’d be great if we could save all the snow, and make snow cones to enjoy the summer. She’s telling me it’ll be gone by the end of the week, isn’t she? Or she wants me to figure out a way to do it… ugh. The things I do for love… And yet Tangy is still wondering if we’ll start seeing igloos soon… she’s a bit dim, but we love her. Apparently, my neighbors are able to talk with Copper. Just thought I’d point that out. The sixth item in the Lost & Found is… more stationary! Didn’t get a Gracie outfit this time, bummer. At least I got to put my golden axe to good use. There was a botanical shirt buried by Nook’s and I dunno why. Leftover from cleaning up months ago? As I promised, Sandy’s house was trapped by signs. I didn’t like doing it much, but these animals need to learn some respect! Played some DK for a bit, I got the high score! Only got to the third run-through though. Requested K.K. Rock, since I realized I still hadn’t requested it but it was pretty obvious. Very good beat, but I feel I’ve heard it somewhere before… I’m not going to comment on what I found I could appear to be doing with the mermaid statue… okay, think Luigi’s Mansion and trying to open items. The X that comes up above my head adds to the humor really. Hard to find the right song to go with it though. And Bea… she means nothing to me, honestly. Back to top
February 16, 2003
Bea tried to be helpful in telling me where to find Gulliver, but it just wasn’t the heartfelt response I expected. Wendell agin on the 18th. Tangy said that the outfit she gave me doesn’t ‘wow’ her. So she gave me this freakish uncommon shirt. Really couldn’t find all that much to do today (which is nice for once), and Nook wasn’t selling anything worth noting, nor was there anything in the dump. Did stop by Billy’s house, I guess I never have before… BECAUSE IT’S A FRICKIN’ PUBLIC RESTROOM!! Oh wait… maybe I’m going insane…. Oh Miyamoto I’m going insane! AAAAHHH!!!! In any case, comfy toilet seats, but the vending machine was broken. I should complain to Management. Back to top
February 17, 2003
I swear, Nook is selling a fridge every other week now. At least he’s selling the drinking bird for once. I got a nice samurai suit from a scavenger hunt. Looks good in any household! Put it in your town model to make it look like a giant monster is attacking! Or something. Savannah’s got the ‘cheepers’ bug now. Ugh. I’m pretty sure I should give up on ever seeing the balls go away.
Came back for the lighthouse. Apparently gyroids grow where ‘Mom’ is too. Freaky. Upset Bea by pretending she was Nook (I had no say in the matter, honest!) and Tangy likes igloos cuz you can roast marshmallows in them. Ummmm… you’ve never done that when you had igloo duty, my feline friend. Then she pushed my snowball into the ocean (no, I dunno why I still make snowmen), so she got two bonkings. Back to top
February 18, 2003
Gwen moved away, and I am… happy. If only it’s new neighbors who leave, then I have nothing to fear. If not… let’s not think aboot it. THE TREES ARE GREEN! AAAHH!!! They look so… green. It’s… unnatural. And the piles of leaves/weird bushes/who the heck knows are green as well. I wondered what happened to all the igloos… nope, there was still one today, never mind. Still, I mean come on, there was just a blizzard in the northeastern United States! Bah. Soon my nice sweater will be useless. Anyway, Gabi had igloo duty, and she’s wearing my wonderful outfit. And I was thinking of making a new one… She was hesitant to play a game with me, but I was persistent, unfortunately, her game involved an item I already had and all of my money, so I turned it down. My saved mail would have so much more room if ‘Mom’ would just shut up. Everyone’s having problems with ‘the whole “greeting” thing’ today. Bought a nice satellite from Nook. Bea says winter is almost upon us… at least she’s trying to cheer me up. Hey… I wonder why Copper’s always off-duty when I’m not playing the game. Hmmmm… oh, now I see. I dunno why it wasn’t more obvious to me. Obviously he has secret dealings with The Nook’d One that he doesn’t want me to know aboot. Silly me. You know, I only noticed recently that there’s two pigs in my town. Maybe it’s because Sue E. and Hambo are so different… or because Baabara is so piggish, I dunno. Anyway, they both were picking on Tangy, so I bonked them. Got a meadow vista from Wendell, stuck him with the same sea bass though. My new neighbor… is KITTY! Yes! Wait… I already had Sonic and Wariofan if I needed a sidekick of some sort. That… and they somehow made a cat with the personality of Baabara. Ugh. Hey! Her house has a bed for two! Interesting… well why’d I have to find this out now? All in all, a very classy place, with K.K. Etude (study?) in her gold stereo (yeah, well I’ve got one too!) And I’ve finally had my dream of multiple cats in Shitton (or maybe I would’ve been happy to just get one, I forget.) Back to top
February 19, 2003
‘Mom’ stole ‘Dad’s credit cards and bought a bunch of stuff. It’s so nice to know how intimate my fake family is, never having to keep secrets from each other or do selfish acts. I’ve been thinking aboot those female head figurines… mostly their shape. I believe I should not go into that any further. You ever get a weird build-up around your control stick? Static’s got igloo duty, but at least he’s saying something original. Something aboot supervising and getting someone else in the neighborhood to build it. I hope he doesn’t leave anytime soon. He also had a new game, but it wasn’t any better. Some ‘higher or lower’ nonsense. Stop the gyroids, stop them! Saharah on the 21st, been awhile since I last saw her. Kitty called me a peppy little bag of fun. I’ve always thought so. Took awhile to find Bea, she’s still having trouble remembering what time of day it is. Back to top
February 20, 2003
Tortimer said I completely slacked off. What a grumpy old coot. I mean it’s not like I’ve seen Gulliver recently, and he’s an idiot for expecting me to find someone else to pick up my slack. Humans do make mistakes you know, while you animals are too stupid to! Or something. Still, I with I could put some chocolates by my shrooms and candy… Wait… isn’t ‘Ho there…’ no, I guess that’s in our general language of current slang, and not a reference. Hey… why does the police station receive an Application for Permission to Operate as a Door-to-Door Marketer every day before Saharah comes? Seems like she should only need to send it once… Tangy got upset that I insulted her fashion sense… hey I’m not going to lie to her, the six-ball shirt looks like crud! Got an extra Donkey Kong in a scavenger hunt. Now where did those snowballs go? I see igloos still around… Twiggy wanted to know if I had any juice… didn’t my letter get to her by now? Maybe I should get to work on that 10 million Bell prize, I’m running out of things to do agin. Back to top
February 21, 2003
I still say Billy shouldn’t be so perky and such, especially if he’s going to say ‘dagnabbit’. Static tells me to get a job, then won’t give me one. Make up your mind! Sandy’s in the igloo agin. Does she never learn? Oh, and she says it’s fish chowder too. Yes… I spose non of the potential neighbors are fish… well in any case, I’m hungry for chicken. The art of taxidermy is apparently mounting fish… no comment. Sue E. told me her boyfriend does this. Apparently he likes mounting insects too, but lately he’s been really into fish. Well… actually I think it’s a bad thing she’s not jealous. She may look like a pig, but she deserves some respect dang it! Kitty is sad that she gets so hungry she can’t decide what to eat, and still has to watch her girlish figure. C’est la vie I spose. Not a great life though… and praps not an acceptable one either. Got a chessboard rug from Saharah in exchange for an 18 mat tatami (didn’t have it in my catalog, so I decided to buy it from Nook yesterday.) Yes Tangy, we may both smell for not doing our laundry, but isn’t life easier and less stressful now? There sure was a lot of trash in the water today. I wonder why… Back to top
February 22, 2003
I wonder if this is the last time I’ll see snow until next winter… ‘Mom’ thinks ‘her’ letters are funny and ‘she’s a comedic genius… THAT’S IT! I’M TOSSING ALL OF THEM!! No Nook, I want the RED corner! Not neutral! Katrina on the 24th. Sandy once agin defies me by being in the igloo. Apparently the fish chowder doesn’t fill her up, though it’s twice her size. Pig. What’s that? NO I AM NOT SPECIES-IST! Apparently the amount of time the train is usually late at Tangy’s old town varies, or she’s a big fat liar. Meh. Decided to ‘boot’ Sandy, mostly to make room for items. I realized today that Tangy doesn’t have a stereo. Bummer. K.K. Etude doesn’t sound good coming from Slider. Back to top
February 23, 2003
‘Mom’ was moved by a painting ‘she’ was trying to move. That’s nice and all… SO HOW ABOOT SENDING ME THE PAINING SO I CAN TAKE A LOOK?!?!? I really hate that person. One thing I can say aboot Gaston, he doesn’t let anyone else influence how he talks. He’s been saying ‘mon chou’ since Day One. If anything, he influenced Static. I swear, I should just re-bury fossils when I find them. Got a cube clock from the dump, which, as expected, is called that for its square shape, not its connection or similarity to the Nintendo GameCube. I must remind myself that I’ve left a number of raffle tickets on the island this month. Anyway, did the island thing, and I think I dropped more fruit there than usual. Flash didn’t eat any money bags, but he did get stuck a few times. Ended with 150,000 Bells in my inventory. Also sold Flash my cube clock, but only got like 220 Bells for it. Oh well, he’s given me enough, and I didn’t want it anyway. And now I’m tanned and it’s snowing. Dang. Bea is still mad at Katrina, saying there’s no point in having your fortune read if it might not come true, but we all know the real reason. Reached the 4,000,000 Bell mark, meh. Back to top
February 24, 2003
Sandy done got into an argument with Kitty, according to her letter, but remains unwilling to accept my booting. Great, now I have to find a way to back up my threats. I swear, I dunno why T-Bone waits until 3 pm to eat lunch. It’s just dumb. It’s not like he’s sleeping up until that point or anything. If Bea and I were to ever have some sort of twisted and deranged human/dog relationship, I hope she wouldn’t still nag me for oversleeping. I gotta be me, you know? Prince was foolish enough to insult my weight, so he got a bonking from heck for the first time in months. I swear, you try to be friendly, and everyone just wants to take advantage of it. Sandy said she buried a steamroller in F-4, but unless I’ve overlooked some possible place it could be hiding (it’s the second part of Gaston’s Prison, so in theory it could be under a tree stump or sign), it’s not there. Back to top
February 25, 2003
And in one fell swoop, the snow disappears. You know, I used to have a lot of faith in the weather system of this game, but that’s just ridiculous. But wow… this is just freaky. Katrina says that on a chessboard, a hard-working off-duty cop will be practicing judo (well, I guess Copper’s got to take some time off to make sure he’s an effective protector of the peace, or something.) In other words, time for animals to start hating me. Oh well. It did make Savannah cry that fate had caused her to do such a terrible thing as avoid me, or something. Twiggy’s happy aboot the weather… stupid bird. It may be green, but it’s… unnatural! Gots me another matryoshka from Gulliver. I wonder who’d win in a fight between him and that one sailor duck-type thingy… Bought another satellite from Tangy since it was only 100 Bells. Someone make the dang fossils go away… Doesn’t seem to be any new fish, and I don’t see any insects… what a gip. Back to top
February 26, 2003
Too… much… green! Parts of the U.S. still have snow on it you know! Found a ladybug on the flowers by Tangy (who tried to sell me a cabin wall for half of my money. I swear, she is coming closer and closer to crossing the line…) I guess the insects are slowly coming back. Ugh, I was hoping the change in the weather would mean LESS fossils… Kitty asked for my advice of bean burritos and water as a good combo as a picnic. I told her to do as she pleases, and she insulted my maturity level… so she got a late ‘Welcome to Shitton’ bonking of doom. And I did it in front of Officer Copper, so my suspicions aboot him not giving cats the same level of protection as the rest of Shitton’s citizens seems to be correct. Redd comes back (finally) on the 28th. Bea tried to play the ‘buy the mystery item for the mystery price’ with me. I swear, everyone’s trying to get on my bad side today. Static doesn’t want the tissues they hand out, but wants his handkerchief back from Twiggy. Well, I guess they could be handing out animal tissue, or something. Then agin, I prefer something a bit finer that a paper tissue myself. I may say ladybugs are ‘so cute’ when I catch them, but I know that those dang Asian beetles are too numerous and smelly to be. All the ladybugs out today seem to be seven-spotted by the way. Oh, and there was a common butterfly too. It looks like today was also the return of the floating presents. I swear, I get two requests to pick up items from Twiggy, and she’s nowhere to be found. I’m almost certain now that they do that on purpose. Kitty also learned today not to give me stationary for an errand. I wonder if she has a concussion now or anything. At least Static knew better… but must’ve forgotten what happens when you insult me. Oh well, maybe he’ll remember next time. Back to top
February 27, 2003
‘Mom’ says to always use the bathroom before bed, or risk suffering the fate of Uncle Dweezil… I’m not going to even try to figure out what she’s saying there. Bea didn’t get mad today when I was forced to pretend she was Tom Nook, so things are looking up. Billy buried a Pitfall, but luckily I dug it up before disaster struck. Managed to finally complete my pool ball shirt collection with an 8-Ball shirt from Nook. It does go 1-9, right? Also bought what was referred to as a ‘beatnik shirt’. Looks pretty plain to me. Billy tried to escape me by not being by his house, but I found him and bonked him to heck anyway. Back to top
February 28, 2003
Kitty left. Yeah, she was my newest neighbor, but she was also a cat, even if she was a Baabara Clone. Well… I guess I’ll learn to live with it. Someone’s writing letters to Bea demanding that she become obsessed with furniture. I should find whoever’s doing this and bonk them. There are… SEVEN items in the Lost & Found?!?!? Whoa… And it’s the steam roller, just like the one I couldn’t find in the scavenger hunt. Freaky. Went to the island to get my raffle tickets, but didn’t do a fruit run. Ended up with seven pairs of five of raffle tickets exactly, which I guess is pretty lucky. Why do my neighbors ask me what I’m doing in a place like this when I’m in front of their house? Nook was pretty much selling junk this time. I won the third prize, the kiddie stereo, and I do believe I won first prize for the first time ever (the ball is a yellowish-gold color, in case you haven’t won it yet.) Anyway, it was a modern cabinet. Why don’t I ever get first prize when there’s something worth winning?!? Oh well, I guess my luck’s been too good the other times to complain. Didn’t win the second prize, but it didn’t look too appealing. It was either ranch or cabin something, couldn’t remember. My new neighbor was another b… female dog, this one named Portia. And apparently she’s a Baabara clone too, so my original label for her seems to be correct. Still, it’s frightening to know that both someone that looks like Bea and a cat can be corrupted by the Great Poison that is Baabara. Her house was very prissy, but kind of boring except for the white knight. Also, I think it’s where a sign used to be, so no worries there. Portia soon learned that despite its similarity to the sound a dog makes, calling me a ‘ruffian’ gets you a bonking. Found a regular ladybug today, so maybe the bugs are finally waking up. Back to top
March 1, 2003
It’s raining! Yay! Or something. Redd was selling Golf for 12,000… that sick, sick fox. He sold Spaceman Sam for a similar price, but hey, that’s different. ‘Mom’s giving me advice on how to be popular. I don’t care how much you act like her, you’re not my mother!! I almost forgot that animals actually use those umbrellas when it rains… Nothing good from Nook. I found an oft-seen print in the dump, which is a hideous yellow flower on a green background. I think I like it. Bea apparently doesn’t feel that warm spring breeze. I wonder if that means she’s depressed… And of course, Tangy has a citrus umbrella too, but you already assumed that. I still want that Goron thing Redd has.
Came back to listen to Imperial K.K. Very traditional Japanese royalty sort of tune, not as good as the one in Legend of Kage though. Back to top
March 2, 2003
Found a diner uniform in the dump. Seems like the Spring fashions have come to Shitton. Bea has a thing for Saharah carpets, I should keep that in mind. She comes tamarra by the way. Tangy describes the air as crisp and fresh. Maybe a smell-pak would be a good idea… Portia’s song when you first talk to her sounds like a balloon rubbing against another. Ugh. Twiggy’s still playing ‘push the ball in the water’. I wonder if it’s her way of protesting that they never go away… Raffle tickets for March are orange by the way. For Miyamoto’s sake, learn a new tune Kapp’n! Did my now weekly fruit run, but barely ended up with four 30,000 Bell bags. I swear, Flash can be so stingy sometimes. Noticed as I was coming back that the bugs in the trees seem to have returned to Shitton. Guess I should be more careful where I run from now on… Decided to plant a 30,000 Bell tree, here’s hoping it grows… Back to top
March 3, 2003
‘Dad’ finally sent a letter on ‘his’ own. ‘He’ says it’s time to get in shape. Stupid gender roles. The cats are of course singing at the 1 o’ clock song agin. T-Bone and Portia both ran into their houses when I walked by. Yeah, you better be afraid! Got a well (not to be confused with a well model) from a scavenger hunt. It looks nice, but doesn’t do much. Got a regal bookcase and lunar lander from Nook. I wonder if that had anything to do with me coming in just as the clock hit 2… Also bought an ornate rug, which I didn’t have before, but mostly bought to trade with Saharah (some trade, still gotta pay for Bells!) Got a sand garden, and for your information, it turns out giving Saharah something other than a carpet is not a good way to get rid of stuff, let alone a way to get a carpet without giving one up. Savannah thought I should get some therapy for pushing her around. Alls I know is, I’m not aboot to lose a money rock just because she’s in the way. Sent away some more fossils with stationary from the Lost and Found. Couldn’t seem to find Bea anywhere today… Back to top
March 4, 2003
Apparently the new fish are finally here, since I caught a loach (joke was ‘You don’t suppose it’s Hylian, do you?,’ which I prolly should get, but don’t. Was it broach?) Found Bea by her house, she was talking aboot Redd agin. He comes in on the 6th. You know, if they’re going to make the animals actually sound out what they’re saying, they could make their voices a bit less quick and high-pitched, or something. Went to get a handkerchief from Bea while Prince found a good hole in the side of a tree. I think my 30,000 Bells tree is growing nicely. Back to top
March 5, 2003
The HRA stresses that throwing everything into your room doesn’t give you high marks for interior design. Funny, that’s what worked last time. No one in the neighborhood seems to like the rain today. Oh well. You know, the Baabaras have two ways of saying that I should be eating well, and they gave up their diets, which is okay, because they’re cute already. Kind of wasteful if you ask me. Same with them being so popular that everyone wants to be around them. And first Tangy’s telling me she never does laundry, then that she’s going to be hurting if the rain keeps up and she can’t do any! She also says to either write me or she won’t be my friend anymore, or something like that. Apparently, a friend of Prince’s believes that all guys should be able to catch bugs and fish. Sexist pig. Since when did tree shaking become completely ineffective on rainy days? Visited the island to get Prince’s insect, then called it a day. Back to top
March 6, 2003
THAT DANG SANDY GOT IN THE WAY OF MY MONEY ROCK AGIN!!! Yup, first thing that happened worth noting. She was bonked to heck of course. Oh well, it’s not like I’ll ever beat my record. Weeds seem to be coming in pairs now for some reason. I should have never delivered that fortune shirt to T-Bone, he looks terrible in it. Those Baabaras give up a new diet 5 times a week it seems… You know, the weird thing is, that despite their protests that it is otherwise, the animals are actually there solely for the purpose of entertaining me. New item in the Lost and Found is a skull shirt, got it already. Back to top
March 7, 2003
Two days in a row of only one piece of mail makes me happy. Got a gingham parasol in the dump. What’s a gingham agin? Redd was only selling junk this time. My 30,000 Bell tree sprouted today, so that’s another accomplishment to take off the list. Found Gulliver. You know, the Yoshi’s Island commercial was also an homage to that scene in Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life. The one for the SNES, not GBA. Anyway, he gave me a nice suit of armor, which I hesitate to keep around due to tackiness. Back to top
March 8, 2003
You know, I think I’ll start calling Twiggy ‘ball-dumper’. I swear, she does it every day! Now if only there was a way to tell the animals I don’t care how lonely they get, I’ll wait until nightfall to talk to them and they’ll like it! Wendell on the 10th. Bea gave me a white king in a scavenger hunt, which was nice of her. Still had to look behind a tree to find it though. Finally got my Nintendo Power (problems with its address), so I picked up my flagpole. It makes a nice noise and all, but it’d be better if you could raise and lower the flag. Oh well. Slider sang me K.K. Lullaby, but I managed to stay awake. I do think I caught Resetti out of the corner of my eye, even though it was at around 9:05. Back to top
March 9, 2003
Spent most of my time playing Master Quest (requiring the use of a low draw-distance to solve a puzzle is NOT proper! For reasons that will come to me), so didn’t have time for a fruit run. HRA rating broke 100,000 for the first time in awhile. Truly amazing how whatever outfit I pick out, whether from Nook’s the dump, or the Able Sisters, they all fit just right. Wendell tamarra. I love flying present season. The weeds pile up at Gaston’s, and Welly don’t care. Back to top
March 10, 2003
Portia moved away. Meh. I’ve got a feeling that those animals do forget my name, despite talking to me eight bazillion times. Forgetful jerks. Why does Tangy feel she’s being taken for granted agin? Got a meadow vista from Wendell. I like him better than Saharah. No cash, doesn’t care if you got the fish just a second ago, or if it’s the fifth time you’ve given him that kind of fish, and just generally a more lovable sort of guy. My new neighbor is Robin… who I thought was the female equivalent of Gaston, meaning Gaston meets Baabara, but it turns out she’s just a Baabara. Still, ugh. STOP REPLACING MY NEIGHBORS WITH BAABARAS!!!... I frankly don’t care if Portia was also a Baabara, it’s worse to have a new one hanging around. Plus she’s got that kiwi shirt I worked so hard to get, so that’s points against her too. She’s apparently a slave owner, since she has three birdhouses. Kind of a dull house otherwise though. Back to top
March 11, 2003
‘Mom’ was apparently very upset when I sled down the stairs on the couch. Good times, those… wait, never happened, never mind. A sign on the bulletin board warns me of the Spring Sports Fair (if it’s half as fun as the Fall Sports Fair… it will induce comas.) My calendar from Nintendo Power says a week from Friday, so I’ve got some time to prepare to ignore it. Nook is on a roll in selling items I have no interest in. Someone shut that mole cricket up! Gracie on the 13th. Here’s to me getting a new outfit, it’s been too long. Lost and Found remains steadily at 6 items. I should be noticing more insects around, shouldn’t I? Twiggy has gotten a letter from the founder of Shitton, a mysterious man known only as Farmer. He bent his will to planting flowers, which I promptly stepped on (well, he didn’t point this out, but I did.) Back to top
March 12, 2003
So hard to decide… make a joke aboot the exotic chest item or not? …Nah. Come on Nook, you’re boring me here! Tangy did a pretty good imitation of Saharah, but then got all mad when I didn’t want to buy a carpet, thinking that I thought she was crazy. Hey, living in a glass house as I do, I’m not aboot to chuck rocks. Why’s she doing that when Gracie is coming anyway? We gots more pill bugs than a dead monkey! Hey, that almost made sense! The weeds are spread out, yet they keep popping up… and not where I want them to either. Sandy made Prince upset, and I frankly don’t care. She’s calling me speedy now… is that her old name for me? Now I feel I’ve misled my comrades on AC Trades R Us…
Came back at night to check a code. Since when do cockroaches live on flowers? Back to top
March 13, 2003
Everyone in Shitton lets the rain get to them too much. I swear, they’re all a bunch of pessimists. You know… I think Velma was a Baabara too. Oh well, now she’s no one! Ha! I ought to pay attention to see if the animals weather forecasts are actually accurate one of these days. Tangy thinks it’s ridiculous for the ground to harden after a rainstorm, so obviously there must be some truth behind it. Hey, you know, Officer Copper should really have caught a cold by now… or 10. The Drummer is bothering Bea through letters, going on aboot the sounds of Shitton. He’s prolly right that some only she can hear, at least now that Portia moved away. I put on my most ugly outfit (red grid shirt), Gracie calls me a hottie and chic. Now I know she’s insane… Anyway, no luck on getting a new Gracie brand outfit (I guess I need caffeine), but she gave me an argyle knit which I didn’t have, so it turned out okay in the end, I guess. Also picked up a gumdrop shirt from the dump. It’s very… colorful. I swear, I go to the island to get away from the rain (all right, so I did it for the fruit run thing), and it’s raining twice as hard! Ugh. Caught a mosquito just so it wouldn’t bite me. I must say it felt quite rewarding to do that. Billy mentioned how the rain is good for the grass and flowers and trees and mushrooms… I wonder why he said mushrooms. It’s not mushroom season you know. Flash… has crossed the line. I did the normal fruit run, all the coconut and pear trees on the island plus two shipments from the mainland… and end up with 1 30,000 Bell bag accumulated. Now I’m going to do him a favor and blame it on my pointing him in directions instead of handing him fruit (which is faster and leads to him eating less Bell bags), but he can forget aboot me writing him a poem ever agin! Plus I crushed his stupid little flowers that he planted with MY golden shovel! That’ll show him, ungrateful swine. Plus… I dunno why I’ve never done this before, but it turns out giving him a bonking DOES affect his mood. Very interesting to see him try to accuse me of flirting him with (I say flirting with because I am hitting on him) to make me stop. I never really knew that he thought I was that way… oh well. Back to top
March 14, 2003
‘Mom’ is upset that I decided to live with the animals. Well forget ‘her’. I dunno why I decided to live with them either (or whether they smell), but it’s none of her business! I forget, how long has Baabara been saying cheepers? I wish Billy would decide if he’s going to try to a crotchety country bumpkin or try to be have an early 80s sort of cool… Katrina on the 16th. Gabi and Gaston got each other mad, and all is good in the world. Tangy prefers rolling around in cash, I prefer lighting it on fire. I guess I have more in common with Bea. Oh well. Bought a lovely shirt… the things I do to expand my collection. Sold it immediately of course. Apparently a large char is worth 10,000 Bells, which is nice. Back to top
March 15, 2003
‘Mom’ stresses the importance of washing your knees and having ‘melted cheese’ sandwiches for dinner for your health. Oh yes, the best way to keep your body healthy is an all-cheese diet. No Spring Sports Fair and they’re already advertising the Cherry Blossom Festival. I wonder if I’ve planted enough cherry trees for Shitton to have one… Did some tree shaking, got stung, but also got an exotic end table. Sent away some fossils, was lucky to have so long a time since the last time I sent them. Requested K.K. Soul, reminded me of Shenmue for some reason, more specifically a bar in Shenmue. Back to top
March 16, 2003
What’s a vernal equinox? Oh yeah, the 12 hour day thing. Apparently that’s this coming Friday. You know I don’t think it’s rained yet where I’m from, but sure does rain a lot in Shitton. Hey, did you know Nook sells every painting for 1,960 Bells? I wonder if there’s any significance to 1960… Ordered a club shirt to wear tamarra (I don’t care if anyone else in Shitton does it or not, I’m celebrating St. Patrick’s Day! Not that it has any particular significance to me, but I’m not aboot to let us forget what is a vital day off in both the education system and the business world!) Next animal to call me ‘rainyface’ gets a bonking. Good thing Bea was wiser than that. Gabi however, was foolish as always. Though I spose my killing her brain cells with my net isn’t helping that. Had to deliver a caveman tunic to Billy, and now I want one for myself. Billy of course tried to help me out in my task by getting as far away from his house as possible. Now then, for tamarra, should I go with bonking everyone who’s not wearing green, or write letters demanding kisses for my (faked) Irishness? New types of fish are less common than you’d think around now. Gaston enjoys releasing the hounds… where’s he keep them? I found Prince staring at the ground. Tried digging where he was staring, but it was right in front of his door, so I couldn’t. Back to top
March 17, 2003
I’ve got my club shirt on, I’ve got a pinwheel to celebrate the Spring weather, I’m ready to greet the day! Bought a nice stove from Nook. Bea promises me nachos and afternoon tea, but I have yet to see either. Oh well, I’m sure she means well. Since when is Katrina jacking up the price to 50 Bells? Took her up on the offer, but once it hits 200 Bells, I’m out. Something aboot a grease-covered watermelon (now how’d that happen?) coughing by an old sign. Which of course means nothing happens. Billy’s caveman tunic looks something between the Flintstones and vomit, so I’m not exactly in a hurry to get one. The fossils come much more quickly now, four in two days… Back to top
March 18, 2003
Yup, Gabi switched back to saying ‘honeybun’, so I’m completely wrong aboot animals not reverting back to their old catchphrases. Another St. Patrick’s Day has passed us by, but what an eventful day it was… bah. Decided to switch back to my old green and yellow fatigues. I send this message out to a number of my neighbors… laundry my butt! Sure, NOW they have 8-ball shirts in the dump… Redd on the 20th. Hey, did you know you can only get 3 deliveries through passwords by Nook before having to save? I didn’t. Back to top
March 19, 2003
The path of searching for treasure is always treacherous, what with the trees blocking your view and the risk of Pitfalls… but hey! I finally gots me a red corner! Thanks agin, Bea! We got enough gyroids to choke a camel! Did I say that already? Tangy called me a motormouth, but I am generous today, so she will live. Yeah, I used my Animal Crossing calendar to answer Bea’s trivia question, and I’d do it agin. Still, I would’ve guessed meteor shower anyway… maybe. Got 10,000 Bells from the shiny spot, not sure why. It’s not the golden shovel, is it? Back to top
March 20, 2003
Robin’s gone. May this trend continue, though it’d be nice not to have them replaced by Baabaras. Spring Sports start at 9 tamara. I guess it’s better than at 7. I swear, so many of the things my neighbors say can be interpreted as being sarcastic… but that makes you hate your neighbors, and that’s no good. And so the game designers said, “Let’s take our barrel model, turn it on its side, and call it a keg!” And there was much rejoicing. Oh well, I don’t care what it looks like, owning a keg in general is a sign of status. Decided to get the shanty set of flooring and wall, since I never bother to before and Nook happened to be selling both. My new neighbor is Astrid, a kangaroo… Baabara. She calls me her pet, which I would be more offended by if I was sure Gaston didn’t call me the same thing. And of course she has a joey, who don’t talk much. At least her costume matches the complexion of her fur… white with multicolored star shapes on it. On the plus side she has a queen size bed, plus a couch for the joey (so hard to find a crib in Shitton…) Basically, think regal (bed, couch, painting, chair, lamp, wall) meets rock (rock guitar plus a stereo playing the K. Funk) meets nuclear power plant (metal flooring, can with the biohazard symbol, and fire extinguisher.) Not sure what category the locker fits in though. Anyway, bonked Baabara as a scapegoat for my fate. The new item in the Lost & Found (I took some stationary to send away fossils awhile ago) is… stationary. Big surprise, that. Back to top
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