Here be my Animal Crossing Diary, updated as of February 29, 2004
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September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 21, 2003
‘Mom’ stole 10,000 Bells from ‘Dad’ and gave me a share. Meh, whatever, like I could write him and tell him what’s up. Hadn’t heard the 8 o’clock song in months, it’s quite nice. Redd was selling both a classic and modern wardrobe. Weird. Aerobics was joined by Prince, Tangy, Baabara, and Static. Pretty round selection there in terms of personality. Tortimer was also there, so I got my Spring medal. Couldn’t really tell what Copper looked like without his uniform, since his back was to the camera. But hey! You really can participate if you stand around and use the C-stick! All right! There’s a move for moving it from down to up, up twice, making a circle, pressing left or right twice, top left twice, top right twice, bottom left twice, and bottom right twice. All in all, compared to the Fall Sports Fair (at least, I don’t think I could participate in that… why doesn’t anyone tell me to use the C-stick?!?!), I’m impressed. Unfortunately, there was no secret treasure that I could get to underneath where Copper usually sits at his post. Bea sure is in a good mood in the morning. She says the first true sign of spring is the pink cherry blossoms snowing down from the trees… that’s just the cherry trees, right? The face on the Spring Sports Medal could be Mario’s face… or even Wario’s face, very hard to tell. Nook finally sold me queen sized classic bed. Take that, Astrid! Got a new spring shirt from Nook, seemed appropriate to wear. Had to do some rearranging and cleaning, but I got the classic bed to fit. Informed Bea of my newly acquisitioned classic bed (just so ummm… if it looks like it’s going to rain, she can come over without fear of being trapped in my house with nowhere to sleep. Yeah, that’s it!) Dang, that Astrid has an ugly profile from the front. Don’t look at me like that, she prolly insults me far worse behind my back!
The participants in the footrace include Static, Gaston, Baabara, Billy, and Savannah. Couldn’t find a way to participate, but I lapped their slow butts twice anyway. I don’t care if it does only fire out dust and paper, I want that gun! The potential practical jokes there are near infinite… Tortimer calls for the piledriver… sick monkey. Apparently Gaston is completely oblivious to being stuck in the programming routine of running every other race. Poor… jerk.
Just barely made it in time for the ball toss. Baabara, Twiggy, Hambo, Gabi and Tangy where there. Since when is Hambo’s catchphrase ‘Hambo’? Oh wait, he’s back to yo, never mind. Once agin, no button or button combo I found allowed me to participate. Ugh. It’s just not right… Can’t even be a dang cheerleader. Twiggy will pay for saing I’d make a good cheerleader by the way. And why don’t I have their uniforms? AND I DIDN’T EVEN GET TO SEE WHO WINS!!!
I believe this is my first tug o’ war. It was Gaston and Bea (odd combo, but that’s who I’m rooting for) versus T-Bone and Sue E., with Hambo officiating (he’d better not be helping the other pig out…) Agin, no way to participate, and there would prolly be no clear winner after all was said and done. I wish the game designers would stop putting poor ol’ helpless Bea into these stupid programming routines…
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March 22, 2003
Bought a twig parasol. Seems like more and more large fish around these days. T-Bone buries Pitfall in one of the 1 acres, T-Bone dies. Also picked up a blossoming shirt at the dump, kinda ugly. Saharah on the 24th. Got K.K. Bossa because I hit the wrong button. Wasn’t too impressed. When do the cherry blossoms come? Why didn’t my fall medal come in a case? Billy is staring into my window from the looks of it (I was outside at the time, but still weird.) I pushed him out of the way after confronting him.
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March 23, 2003
Bea scared me to death by writing me a letter… telling me she couldn’t understand my letter. Oh thank Miyamoto… Seems like there’s a shirt I don’t have every day now… so close to the Lil’ Bro shirt, I can taste it. Is it just me, or are some rocks never money rocks? I hate coming in at night, so many complaints aboot me not coming in earlier. Must stink for those who can’t come in at any other time. Tangy considers turnips the root of all evel. Nutcase. I’ll sure miss being able to go to the police station and not see Copper… You know, the names Savannah and Saharah are easily confused. Many weeds behind the dump, must be because I never have reason to go through there.
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March 24, 2003
I thought I had a blue corner… Seems like everyone’s study Japanese but me these days. I got Tangy angry when I told I wasn’t paying my loan off… so I bonked her down. Only worked until I talked to her though. Sheesh, Cherry Blossom Festival this, Cherry Blossom Festival that, even from Bea! You know… I’ve never met the Shitton garbage collectors. I wonder if Astrid should really be that flirty, what with the joey around and whatnot. Saw a small, cylinder shaped bug crawl by as I was talking to Baabara. Ugh, how am I supposed to catch something like that? Managed to find T-Bone’s Pitfall without falling into it (the doofus buried it by his house… so I used it on him.) Why won’t someone stop the fossils already?!? I had to take two stationeries from Booker just to send them away from me! Went to the island, mostly to get a rug to trade with Saharah, and got a robust cicada. It’s aboot time Blathers stopped rejecting my donations. Decided to abandon my plan, just use the money I got from selling the stuff I got from errands to buy a cheap carpet and sell it to Saharah. Got an ancient tile for my efforts. Never seen Saharah run before.
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March 25, 2003
Got another garden gnome from a scavenger hunt. I mean it’s a nice thought, but I don’t feel all that much like a lucky ducky. Why does the game have to make night owls feel bad and morning people feel appreciated? Found Gulliver, he too has been bothered by a mother that won’t let him sleep. I swear, maybe if they had put more effort into making school more entertaining in Brooklyn, I might have actually wanted to go, you know? Anyway, he gave me a nice tribal mask. Then Bea tried to get me to trade it… what’s up with her? I still want my Manikin Pis though. Katrina on the 27th. Found a CD Player in the dump, it was well camouflaged by the green grass at the edges. It had K.K. Ballad, one of my faves. Gots me a green pipe from Nintendo Power… that’s one big friggin’ pipe. However, I did somehow manage to fit it on my top floor.
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March 26, 2003
The raffle tickets are taking up too much space in my inventory agin. I think I got two of the same fossils in the mail for the first time. ‘Mom’ bought me a Papa bear because ‘she’ thought it was perfect for me. I really should give ‘her’ a good punch in the face if I ever find ‘her’. Is it just me, or does Nook sound like he’s got two voices talking at the same time, like a fusion or something? Maybe I should look into that. Bought the regal set of carpet and flooring from Nook for the same reason I bought the shanty set: because it was there. Twiggy wants a bakery… how the heck am I sposed to get that? I worried Bea by coming to see her at 5, even though she’d be fine and dandy aboot it if I came to visit at 4:59. Oh well. She asked aboot my hat, and I wonder why I wear it myself. Well, at least that Link pattern (Hero’s shirt praps?) that comes in Series 3 ingeniously makes it look like a character has both Link’s hair and tunic… from the front, anyway. The 30,000 Bell tree I planted yesterday is dying… oh well. Hard to cry over spilt milk when there’s plenty more where that came from. I can’t remember… have I ever pointed out that I thought Prince may be an abuser of drugs? Because he’s obvious a clone of the legendary Bob, who many think is indeed a drug user.
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March 27, 2003
It’s aboot time my mailbox was relatively empty. I think Bea got a new umbrella. Or maybe it just looks different in the dark, hard to tell. New item in the Lost and Found is the one-ball shirt. Already got it. I somehow missed Katrina, meaning she doesn’t stick around for all of 24 hours. I don’t care what the context is, Static, no one calls me ‘Chuckles’! Eat bonk! I tell you, sonny, I’ve been going out in the rain without an umbrella or jacket since last September, and I didn’t get sick none! No siree! I think Gabi’s the one who stole Bea’s umbrella. I bonked her without any confirmation, because I am the Law! And in my court room, you’re guilty until proven innocent! And then I punish you because I don’t like you! What’s gingham mean agin? Nook didn’t have nothin’ I wanted. I wonder if my town will ever see queer agin… heck, I wonder if I’ll ever see Nookington’s.
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March 28, 2003
You know, the fire decal on Astrid’s umbrella really doesn’t fit her personality all that well. I guess I was wrong aboot Katrina, I found her tent today. Still 50 Bells a pop. She says that out in the rain, a garlic-packed banjo will be crying to sleep… didn’t she already mention a banjo once and crying to sleep another? ‘Tis a dark and evel omen apparently. She says to watch my step… so I trip when I run now. Great. Your force-field of anti-bonking will not protect you forever, Katrina! Caught and donated a cherry salmon… too bad you can’t eat the fish, sounds tasty. New item in the Lost and Found was a regal dresser, pretty sure I’ve got it.
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March 29, 2003
‘Mom’ says ‘she’ thinks of me and makes bad coffee. I have no comment at this time as to what I could have done to make ‘her’ associate me with a bad tasting cup of coffee. Speaking of coffee, Gracie comes on the 31st. Why have I grown so fond of Gaston? He doesn’t even applaud for me when I catch fish! Is it that T-Bone eats every hour, on the hour, or does he just prefer eating dinner at 8 instead of 6? Hey, the metal flooring of Astrid’s house even has a metal sound when you run over it (yes, the curse has ended, I can run freely)! Nice to see they included such small details. Nook once agin does poorly in providing me with items that I desire. Finally got The K. Funk from Slider, pretty enjoyable to hear it performed by K.K. Played some NES games for a bit… I think I’m getting slightly better at Clu Clu Land. I got to level 3 this time! Which of course was enough for the high score.
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March 30, 2003
Astrid’s gone, Petunia’s in, life is good. The rain, she never ends. Ugh. Well, you know what they say, ‘March showers means the weather’s messed up.’ Or something. Nook yet agin isn’t selling jack. Static and Gaston once agin say the same thing to me when I talk to them… which included calling me an idiot, so they both got bonked. Petunia is best described as what would happen if Baabara possessed T-Bone’s body. Blah. She not only has the cowskin rug and cowskin shirt, but a stereo made to look like spotted dice, with K.K. Country on it (ugh!) Also, she has a country guitar and a gyroid that sounds like a farm animal of some sort. Decided to bonk her for her way of decorating her home. It turns out that indeed, you do get different fish fishing from a pond rather than the stream, since I picked up a shiny new crawfish from the pond. Blathers confirms that crawfish are related to lobsters, and how they both ‘enjoy a little pinchy-pinchy’… nah, too easy.
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March 31, 2003
It’s still raining, but at least I didn’t get any mail for once. Had to check around a lot of trees before finding the exotic lamp that Static buried, but at least I found a bunch of 100 Bell bags, thanks to me golden shovel. When it comes to getting Gracie clothing, I’ve still got it. Still not sure why I feel the need to twitch my foot up and down quickly while I do it, but meh. Got what is known as a cool shirt, even though it is most certainly not. Billy put Bea in a good mood, so I should avoid bonking him for a little bit. Say… 5 minutes. What’s the point of passing by fish silhouettes that I could never reach with my fishing pole while riding with Kapp’n? Just authenticity? Visited the island to pick up some raffle tickets by the way. Gave Flash my red check shirt… he doesn’t look nearly as good in it as he thinks he does. More like a country bumpkin now, really. Those robust cicadas sure are noisy. I dunno if I mentioned this before or not, but it really doesn’t make much sense for Kapp’n to hate squirrels. They really should unite against their common enemy, the cat. Oh well, species-ism rarely makes sense. Bea wishes to pretend that we’re under a waterfall. I must say, I too enjoy that idea. You know, it’s not quite fair. Nook fails to provide me with the items I’m willing to buy, and I’m stuck with a lack of raffle tickets. And on the day he’s selling an NES game too… luckily, it was the first thing I won. Unluckily, the game turned out to be DK Jr. Math. Oh well, at least now I don’t have to wonder aboot what could have been. Then I won first prize, the black king, and with my last full set of five tickets, I took home the plum bonsai. Now if only I could get something I didn’t have already… at least, I think I had a black king. Still, I guess there’s some pride in hearing Nook say ‘You’ve won all the prizes I prepared for today.’ Wait… shouldn’t it be ‘I’ve prepared for today’ or at least ‘that I prepared for today’? You know, Gracie’s car looks quite nice when fully shined and glimmering. Not as nice as my statue, but nice nonetheless.
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April 1, 2003
Pelly is sad, because Pete won’t date her. She feels like a regular April fool. You know, it’s Pete who’s the dang fool. I dunno what he sees in that other bird. She just seems all stuck-up and mean to me. ‘Mom’s running out of things to say, but continues to write me anyway. If only I could tell ‘her’ it’s fine to not write me anymore… with my net. My neighbors all have April Fool’s related conversations, but they’re not very interesting. Who’s Porter agin, and why doesn’t he fly? Yeah Nook, it’s all funny that your items are 90% off… how aboot I take off 90% of your face? What he doesn’t realize is that if you jack up your prices by 1,000%, you can then take 90% off and call it a sale. Decided to try the ‘Hey there’s a bug on your forehead’ April Fool… which of course involves my net. Also, Gabi has aspirations to be mayor too, so I gave her a repeated bonking. Blathers is going on aboot alien fossils… you know, this town needs to develop a better sense of humor. Or maybe he was the butt of the joke, but I doubt it. Looks like the only thing in the ponds are crawfish. Katrina on the 3rd. Apparently, Booker’s a lieutenant. Whatever. In any case, his April Fool was aboot losing weight… poor guy just can’t seem to do anything right. Bea says Nook is selling GameCubes… not bad really. She also tells me that the Cherry Blossom Festival is the 5th, 6th, and 7th. She’s so helpful, I should do more errands for her… someday. Mabel also did a good one, aboot how Gracie actually only wears body paint. Sable’s was just how Nook will start selling bikinis. Well… why wouldn’t he? Huh? Oh, and the cherry blossoms have bloomed I think. Whoopee.
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April 2, 2003
I slowly walk over to Twiggy, by her door, and say hi, and she still calls me Speedy and complains. Bah. Nothing worth buying from Nook agin. The pinkness of the trees is nice, but A. it hasn’t been that long since they turned green, and B. not all of them are cherry trees! Well… at least the pine trees, or evergreens, didn’t change their color, so they’re not being completely contrary to nature. And if the tree behind the well is also affected by this cherry blossom festival, why I can’t I cut it down? Gulliver acknowledged that we’ve seen each other a lot, since his excuse for washing up on my shore was purposely weak. Pirates or sharks agin, sure… Got another tribal mask, that’s a bit odd… Made Tangy sad agin by admitting to catching a coelacanth. What can I say, I unfortunately did. Well… fortunately actually… but then agin I wish Tangy was happier… oh whatever. Gave a shot at using some of the town tunes in the April 2003 issue of Tips ‘N Tricks, but decided I didn’t like them much.
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April 3, 2003
Cherry Blossom Festival starts on the 5th, the bulletin board says so. The festival will apparently be centered on the well agin. The butterflies have been around for a bit now, but no new types or even the more colorful or rare types you find on the island, at least from what I’ve seen. There was a make-sad-and-run committed against Tangy by someone other than me. No suspects yet, as no one was in the area. Closest thing to a suspect was T-Bone, since he was in an adjacent acre, but he happens to live in that area. Bonked him anyway though. Gots me a caveman tunic from Nook today, but sold it immediately due to its ugliness. April raffle tickets are a light, almost lime green by the way. Also bought a hammock and an 8 mat tatami flooring. I really should figure out what tatami means one of these days. You know, I kinda miss having things to fix up around town. Stupid Welly getting satisfied so quickly… You know, I think Prince and Billy really like each other. That’s the second time I’ve seen them in the same acre, all happy and singing a song. My neighbors aren’t programmed to date each other, are they? Encountering two bees’ nests before ever seeing a bag of money means you’re not having the best of luck, right? It’s getting harder and harder to find stationary around here… if only it were becoming harder to find fossils around here. Heh heh, Petunia said ‘try not to fail me utterly’, which is funny ‘cuz she’s a cow. But then Sue E. and Baabara keep saying it… plus it’s insulting…. oh well, I can laugh on the inside while I bonk them.
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April 4, 2003
Billy’s taken to saying ‘burrup’ in order to upset me. Got two T-Rex skulls from the Museum this time. Quite an occasion, really. ‘Mom’s got her cherry trees exploding in color… what aboot her other trees? Is it just Shitton that has every non-pine tree all pink and blossomy? And another thing… why are my cherry trees producing cherries while they’re blossoming? That’s not the proper order! I had neither of the walls Nook was selling in my catalog, and I didn’t even know it until I double-checked. Accidentally found a ranch dresser in a scavenger hunt. Much better than having to look behind trees for it. Why does Bea always go into her house when I try to talk to her? Static says he pegged me as someone who likes climbing. I can hardly do it, but I’m sure if I could I’d have fun with it. Oh, and I found if you can’t find a rock or tree to get stuck behind when hitting the money rock, you could just dig a hole behind you and use it. Doesn’t make any sense, but it works. Gotta do it before you hit the rock of course, otherwise it takes too long. Katrina says that at a playground, a hard-working helicopter will be spacing out. Yup, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard bits of that reading before too. It was one of those fortunes that doesn’t change anything. Oh well, I like to be able to run without tripping.
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April 5, 2003
Baabara’s caught the ‘burrup’ sickness too. She’s such a conformist. It’s raining cherry blossoms… here’s hoping no one has allergies. Bought a metronome from Nook... now if only I could find someone who can use it to fire off random attacks. The cherry blossom festival included a feast, and Bea was dancing merrily. I did my best to dance with her. Poor girl put herself down for her perceived lack of rhythm. Such a silly puppy sometimes… Tortimer gave me a nice pink tree model… now where do I get a regular tree model? T-Bone was dining with Petunia… he’s too good for her you know. Redd on the 7th. He’s still one of my favorite visitors. Prince threatened to go agin, but I pleaded with him to stay, and he conceded. Does this mean he’s really going because of what I did? Shitton can be such a confusing place to live in sometimes. Found another insect crawling along the ground, but wasn’t fast enough to catch it.
I’m beginning to think crawfish are the only aquatic creatures one can get from a pond at this time of year. It’s certainly all I’ve gotten. The neighbors at the cherry blossom festival don’t seem to change from hour to hour. Double-checked to make sure there’s no such thing as K.K. Rap, then let Slider play me K.K. Swing. ‘Twas a relaxing sort of music that could be a credits theme, just not a very enjoyable credits.
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April 6, 2003
‘Mom’ tells me to be more sociable, and not a recluse. ‘Her’ similarities to my real mom is frightening. The festival has the same guests… and Bea’s still dancing. LET MY PUPPY OUT OF HER DANCE PROGRAMMING ROUTINE, YOU SICK, SICK MONKEYS!!! Petunia says summer will come soon afterwards… it is only the start of April, isn’t it? What Nook sells sure is boring nowadays. I miss Bea being by her door… The dump sure is full, too bad it’ll all be gone tamarra. You know it’s a tough question… on the one hand Static’s a jerk, and yet I like him, on the other hand I’ve never met Bob, but I hear he’s coo. Weeds keep congregating by my house, is that a bad sign?
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April 7, 2003
I can’t decide which is worse, being accused of oversleeping or having my neighbors complain that I waited until the night to visit them. Either way, they’ll be seeing more bonkings if they don’t shut their collective yappers. I still say there’s something wrong with oranges on a tree with cherry blossoms in full bloom. Bea looks exhausted, in spite of her inability to stop. ‘Tis a fate worse than death to have to dance such a dance for so long, truly. And the others just laugh and drink merrily, the jerks. Don’t even leave and let someone else enjoy the festivities so I can hear someone say something new. Plus I don’t like the song around the banquet either. There’s a cat face on the ‘juice’ at the banquet… or is a raccoon?
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April 8, 2003
Still got the cherry blossoms raining down on me. Blah. I think I like the tune at 2 pm, very cheerful. Only bought a plaid parasol from Nook. Hey, what’s the significance of the 67 in the Number 67 shirt agin? Tangy likes the sun so much she wants to sleep all the time, I look outside my window and see snow. Ugh. Bought some chess pieces from Redd, apathetic to their price. Which reminds me, never try to change the rules of chess by shouting ‘the black knight always triumphs!’ and knocking down your opponent’s pieces. People tend to get all grumpy when you do that. Now if only he could find me Punch-Out!!... T-Bone gave Savannah an absolutely disgusting outfit. What a jerk. Bea is finally free of her dance of torture, and she’s still out and aboot! Plus… I think they may have stolen her soul. Now I’m not sure, but don’t let on that you know, all right? Bonked Static, since she was a bit sad when I got there and he was nearby. You know, I think all the hour songs seem to have been enhanced for Spring.
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April 9, 2003
Petunia’s out, Valise is in. She’s a kangaroo (they always make such odd noises for kangaroos when you first talk to them. Must be that no one knows what a kangaroo sounds like), calls me tadder (meh?) and seems slightly nicer than the Baabaras. Very classy house, including a queen-sized bed and K.K. Etude. That bed looks comfy. Bought a hawthorne bonsai… how many of those are there? Static was all angry, so I bonked him to calm him down. Wendell on the 11th. Bea apparently goes to bed around 8. Tangy sure does run out of things to say a lot nowadays. And Savannah greets me as I leave to remind me of the horrible outfit T-Bone gave her.
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April 10, 2003
Got a kiddie stereo from a scavenger hunt. It’s almost an oxymoron, but it’s not. I think Valise may be more of a Velma clone. Did I mention she planted her house exactly where Petunia was? Why do so many animals have the umbrella that’s actually just a stencil for your own design? Or I guess the white dotted line on green could be a typical pattern of umbrellas, I dunno. They really shouldn’t call it a polka parasol, gives it a bad name. Bought some modern flooring from Nook. It’s surprising the types of flooring I don’t have yet. Haven’t these neighbors ever heard a little water never hurt anyone! Oh yeah, it’s raining, but heck, it is April. Rain must really get Bea down, she was almost rude today. I mean come on, calling me a lazy bum just because I fish? Hey wait, do dogs ever… never mind. Took Tangy’s argyle knit as a favor to her. So rare to see her or Bea in a good mood, didn’t want to spoil it. Ha, Gaston’s front yard is such a mess… Baabara’s now imitating Sandy… poor Sandy.
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April 11, 2003
‘Mom’ set the house on fire doing aerobics and is fantasizing aboot leaving ‘Dad’ for a fireman. Nook sold me a lady palm… didn’t look all that feminine to me. In fact, looked taller. If you ever need a ball pushed into a pond, call Twiggy, she’s still the master. Oh, the trees are green agin finally. If I didn’t mention it before, using a net on the sleeping Gulliver has no effect. WAKE UP ALREADY, I’VE ALREADY HEARD EVERYTHING YOU SAY!! Had to go the Able Sisters’ just to get him to shut up. Got a Moal statue, which is apparently one of the guys at Easter Island. Tangy gave me a regal sofa, renewing our friendship. Had to talk Bea out of moving, that was a scary moment. If Prince leaves… I’m going to be pretty stressed, I can tell you that. Just for your information, Wendell does accept (and consume) crawfish in return for wallpaper. Got a desert vista… don’t I have that?
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April 12, 2003
I wonder when the bulletin board will be updated next. Bought a gaudy sweater from Nook. I think that describes it well, yes. Also got a gold econo-chair, though it looks more cream-colored to me. Hey Twiggy, what’s a grody cold? Ditto to you Tangy. Tangy also gave me some moving tips… what is she referring to exactly? I mean, I can’t transfer my character over to another house or another town… can I? You know, I don’t know where I got this question from, and it might not even refer to this game, but you gotta wonder: why is it that your name is in blue? Is there some sort of reason it has to come out and grab you? Officer Copper says there’s nothing going on, so I guessed Nook will have a sale soon, and Bea confirmed it. I like balloons. You know, I miss playing as myself in my white and green fatigues. It’s too bad Super Mario Bros. Deluxe had to switch it over to green and brown so that Fire Luigi and Fire Mario could be told apart. Listened to K.K. Calypso, very fast-paced tune. Very upbeat though, seems kinda Jamaican.
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April 13, 2003
Nook’s sale involves wallpaper and is at 4 tamarra. Don’t see why I couldn’t catch it. You know, it sure would be nice if they somehow connected Animal Crossing with Camp Hyrule 2003, say with a code generator… HINT HINT. Some idiot buried another Pitfall, but I found it before it was too late. You know, I really hate the 3 o’clock song. Also, the tie-dye shirts don’t look all that tie-dyed. Maybe dyed, but not tied. And the backyard fence seems like it more fits Wendell’s collection really. Plus, why would I want to buy some new old flooring? All right, enough griping. Bea’s sure indoor a lot nowadays. And Bea, isn’t the plural of ravioli ravioli? At least I got to see her walk outside, that was… odd. She also spent all that I gave her, down to under 3,000 Bells agin. Ugh. I’ll miss Billy’s ‘dagnabbits’, I hope they come back some day. Why does it sound like my dekkoid is saying something, either ‘sleep tight’ or something in German? Dropped off some extra items at the island. Why does Flash like his house so empty? Made a fruit run, using my old but slower method of pointing Flash to each individual fruit. Ended up with 60,000 Bells… that’s it! I’m moving on to the stalk market!
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April 14, 2003
‘Mom’ went on a trip and traveled in ‘her’ P.J.s… what kind of adult still wears P.J.s anyway? Nightgown, naked… but P.J.s? I swear, I gotta write myself reminders aboot Nook’s sales. Nook was selling the G logo, but of course I already have it. I swear, 6 o’clock doesn’t seem like that weird of an hour to me. I may not trust Hambo still, but at least he doesn’t complain to me aboot how late it is. The dump had two desert camos and nothing else… just thought I’d point that out. Obviously it’s a sign, any fool knows that. Baabara made my ol’ buddy Prince sad and got bonked. Hard to tell on his little body whether she gave him my shirt or not. Don’t you just hate it when you play money rock and get to the 10,000 Bell bag but it has nowhere to go and never comes out? Shitton sure does build up a lot of weeds before Welly complains. Learned that queer wrote a letter full of nonsense to Static, including misspelling ‘his’ own name. Ugh. Static sees ‘him’ as a stranger, which is prolly a good thing. Did I mention how corny the joke is for the cherry salmon? Also, why the bloody heck does Nook just hang around his front entrance? Does he really get that bored? He really ought to steal a Game Boy or Pokémon Pikachu from someone.
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April 15, 2003
I try to talk to Prince just once, and already he’s trying to take my items. I lost in my self-created game, ‘Catch the Fish Before the Ball You Knocked Into the Water Scares It Off’. I guess I should have given myself more time to start. I’m still upset about the animals trying to reward me for coming in during the mornings and punishing me for coming in at any other hour. Now why would you need both a kiddie set of wallpaper and flooring and a playroom set? Bought the dang kiddie wall anyway. Tangy says she’s planning to move too… what is I did to these animals that was so wrong? Oh, right… the net. At least Welly appreciates me. Why is it when I catch it it’s a clouded yellow butterfly, but when I have it in my inventory it’s just a yellow butterfly? Also, why do so many of the important characters have the same squeaky voice? Nook the Despised, Gulliver, Prince (he’s very important of course)… even K.K. Not that I’m badmouthing K.K. for having the same voice as that devil ‘coon, but unfortunately it’s true. Gulliver stopped by today by the way, and gave me a Tokyo Tower. Look man, I know our beach is really awful, but don’t be telling that to the guy who’s planning to assassinate the mayor and take control, all right? Makes me feel like I’ve chosen the wrong goals in life. Gracie on the 17th. A white butterfly kept disappearing and reappearing while I was talking to Bea. I guess her text box has a side effect of not allowing sprites on certain parts of the screen.
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April 16, 2003
‘Mom’ complained aboot hearing a rumor aboot me involving rubber cement, a spatula, and some ants from little Timmy’s ant farm. I guess she’s pretty strong on that animal’s rights issue. But still, I think my experiment on ‘The Effects of Inhalants on the Sensation of Pain in the Common North American Ant” was quite a success. The animals keep running inside when I come by… have I had my fortune read by Katrina lately? It seems to be one of those times where weeds pop up everywhere agin. Tangy got a bonking for trying to force a trade upon me. Yes, that’s right Prince, give me a job to find a ball for you… while you’re still in your freaking house! Got another Donkey Kong in a scavenger hunt… wasn’t there a scavenger hunt for that exact game already? I swear, Nook’s designed to challenge you as you avoid him and he tries to chase you down. Why don’t I see some new insects already? It really shouldn’t be this difficult to reach my NES games to play them… Got a can while fishing, so I sent it to Billy, taking the opportunity to warn him to avoid Velma if he ever meets her.
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April 17, 2003
My HRA rating dropped a lot for some reason. Oh well. Why is Nook starting his letters with ‘Hot News!’ now? Hey wait… I thought the rule was that nothing Tortimer gives you can be re-ordered… so can I order another pink tree model? Well… I guess it does make some sense, considering that if you want a miniature model of Shitton during the cherry blossom festival, you’ll need more than one. Seems like a lot of the animals only sleep ‘so-so’ for some reason. Caught a goldfish and donated it to Blathers. Apparently he likes the buggers. Prince still wants his ball, and apparently shares personalities with T-Bone. I think I figured that out at one point and forgot aboot it. Gracie says I’m hot agin… I guess she’s afraid of my axe on her car. You know, she’s also got the same voice as Nook, Slider and Gulliver. Managed to pull off another perfect cleaning, ironically without getting a headache. Gots me a lavender robe… ugh, it’s hideous.
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April 18, 2003
Billy tried to be nice aboot it, but it’s clear he had no idea what my letter said. Protected a volleyball from Twiggy’s wrath, mostly just to get her mad. Why don’t I remember ever getting some of the items in my catalog? Must have sold them to Nook too quickly to have it sink into my brain. You know, I’ll miss Welly, but not nearly as much as Don Resetti… I’ve still got to get him back for telling me to scram. Checked up on Static’s house… yup, he’s still got that cursed photo. Re-quarantined his house immediately. Redd on the 20th. Bea revealed that I’m like a ball of sunshine to her… but then got embarrassed and decided what she said was really awful. Poor self-conscious little puppy… Prince revealed that queer feasted on the fruits of my labor, literally, and argued with him all the time. How I can not have a full gyroid collection by now is beyond me, the little buggers are everywhere. The bells just aren’t coming in as quickly as they used to without Flash’s help… maybe he demands cherries.
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April 19, 2003
Valise out, Olivia in. Hey, if someone’s gotta go, might as well be the new neighbor. Bea finally got upset that I came in late. Sorry pup, but I can’t let a game rule my life, no matter how nice the animals are in it. Olivia’s a nice little Siamese cat with a mole on her cheek. I think she’s another Velma clone though. Bah. Gaston complained aboot us not talking in awhile. Doesn’t seem like that long… Olivia seems to be the queen of the regal set thus far, having the queen-sized bed, K.K. Etude, mirror, lamp, what I think is called the exquisite flooring, white piano, what I think is a cello or bass, two of the same plants, and a whole set of gyroids of the same type that I forgot the name of. Tangy complains aboot me not buying furniture that I already have from her, since she has to carry both items all the way back to her house, which was all of two feet away from her. What is with Tangy and Bea today? Got a fetching outfit, gold screen wall and a writing chair from Nook, even though I find none of those items interesting. Refreshed my memory on whether three bonks out of a sleeping animal gets a reaction. It does. However, if you push them around afterwards, they fall back asleep! Neat! But if you continue to push, they’ll wake up and be either mad or sad. Then, after a little more bothering her, she ran inside to pretend to sleep (subject was Savannah by the way.) Requested Surfin’ K.K. from Slider. Got the idea from visiting Static’s house. Sounds more like a mix of an RPG ending theme, RPG battle theme, and Gary’s theme in Pokémon Red/Blue/Yellow than any song related to surfing (‘twas the Beach Boys who sang a few beach and surfing-related songs, right? Which group sang “Surfin’ USA’ agin?)
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April 20, 2003
You know, the orange box is more brown really. Hey, I wonder if Sandy ever says the line that starts with ‘Hey, watch it, Speedy!’ I ask because speedy is also her catchphrase, if you’ve somehow forgotten. Then agin, so is Baabara the Conformist’s now. Did Tangy already mention that she views turnips as the root of all evel? I guess being a carnivore does make you care less for vegetables. Got yet another Pitfall in a scavenger hunt, and it was by Tangy’s house too! Billy was the admitted perpetrator, so he was bonked to heck of course. Just noticed on another tv that houses on the Town Map are blue if they’re on a higher level and purple if they’re in the valley. Kinda pointless really. Prince really doesn’t look good in a bear shirt. Too much green. Managed to put my fishing lure through the bank of the river. Meh, it’s been long enough without a glitch to forgive it. Nothing worth getting from Redd, that’s kinda odd.
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April 21, 2003
The bulletin board tells me to look for flowers, warmer temperatures (like I can tell) and kites and windsocks. Do I get to fly one? Gots me a bug zapper from Nook. Does Blathers accept scorched donations? I was wrong aboot you only being able to catch crawfish in the ponds. You can also catch old cans! Tangy’s not willing to give me money… she’s not going to get any gifts in the mail anytime soon. Got a red snapper for the first time in awhile. Gave to Prince for a t-shirt, just in case I didn’t have it and out of the goodness of my… well, cuz I felt like it. I like ‘em, good way to get money in the beginning. You know, I’ve got a feeling Bea’s never going to have enough tea to share with me. Ah well. Got 10,000 Bells from the shiny spot. Not bad at all.
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April 22, 2003
Now that’s a heavy rain if I’ve ever seen one. I never stopped to consider there might be more than one type of rain in the game. Why is Gabi still wearing my shirt? I wonder why it’s called Nature Day and not Earth Day, I mean it’s not like it has a religious affiliation. Even Tortimer said it seemed like an odd-fitting name. He also says to take care of the land, and the mayor too. Well, I don’t care all that much aboot the trees in Shitton if Tangy and Bea don’t care. As for the mayor, I’ll take care of him… oh yes. Is the rain related to Nature Day? Anyway, Tortimer gave me a tree model to go with the cherry blossom tree. Took him long enough. Now I just need evergreen and palm. Saharah on the 24th. Hey wait… why did I get a can and a boot the day before Nature Day? Man, Nook buys back diaries for pretty dang cheap. A perfect game of money rock and some sold fossils later, and I’ve got a deposit to make at the bank. Really a pretty rewarding experience. You know, if I keep hurting my wrist, I WILL get carpal tunnel. And hairy palms. Tortimer says not to forget aboot him, not sure if it matters whether you walk on by when you do it.
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April 23, 2003
No more rain, not that it matters all that much to me. 10,000 Bells from the shiny spot agin! W00t! Bought a tartan rug from Nook, good for trading with Saharah. Picked up my super mushroom from Nintendo Power. What, no increase in size? Bah. It’s even all old skool style, like original Super Mario Bros. By the way, there are a heck of a lot of my neighbors and former neighbors on the package of Animal Crossing-E Series 3 cards. Top right: Twiggy. Second row on the left: Sue E. Third row on the left: Gaston (who is both on the cover and strikes fear in the hearts of all Animal Crossers.) Bottom left corner: Belle (former citizen.) Bottom right corner: Kitty (only stayed for a lil bit. And of course there’s Katrina, Booker, and what’s-her-name, the evel Pelly. I guess if you were paying attention and checking in every day on your town, you’d have a similar situation in one of the series. But hey, whatever happened to the preview of the NES games in Series 3? Someone go yell at a random NOA at chat. Bea’s in the same spot as yesterday, an acre or two away from her house. What the bloody heck is a tootoid? Gabi made herself mad and upset Hambo, so I gave her a therapeutic bonking. So many animals out and aboot today… must be the weather.
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April 24, 2003
Switched my Town Tune to the Yoshi’s Story Theme Song in Nintendo Power (May 2003). I dunno if it’s a typo or what, but I find it sounds much better with an a before the pause at the end, not a c, so I did that instead. I’d use Saria’s song, since I like it so much, but then I’d feel all like I’m breaking tradition. Bea says she’s not even wearing a coat and is still plenty warm. You ummmm… never wear a coat Bea. We’ve even discussed how no one ever wears long sleeves around here, don’t you remember? Found Gulliver, who knows what year it is. Isn’t that great? Wait… did he just tell a fart joke? Something aboot a mighty wind blowing around his stern. He gave me another plate armor… well a matching pair ain’t so bad really. You know, I sure do get into people’s faces when I talk to them, especially Saharah’s. Hey, since when is a concrete floor an exotic carpet?!? And if she’s a she, why’s she sound like Nook, Gulliver, etc.? Anyway, took a tropical floor from her instead. You know, it’s kinda odd that I’m not seeing repeats from her yet. Went to the island for storage purposes… man, I really gotta get rid of some of those Pitfalls. Now who’s been a jerk lately? I guess whoever buried a new one today. Stupid anonymousness. I guess it would make sense for Tangy to want to sleep all day in the Sun… was it Tangy who said it last time too? Maybe Kitty? I think Prince has a thing for Saharah, but it would never work. Why is everything black in the modern world? Does it mean modernization is evel? Bea got in a good mood while on the go, so she gave both me and Hambo some clothing. Apparently the stuff’s unisex, always wondered aboot that. Anyways, I should return the favor sometime.
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April 25, 2003
Welly says Shitton’s no longer perfect. Well he can go talk to Detective Lykai Givadang aboot it. Still, I wonder if it’s Gaston’s yard that he’s finally complaining aboot.. The weeds seem to be accumulating everywhere else even more though. Gracie on the 27th. You ever wonder how much of a settlement you could get out of Nintendo for claiming that Gracie gave you carpal tunnel? It’s nice to see Sandy and Prince get along so well. You know, it’s truly surprising how many towns in the world of Animal Crossing have a waterfall. Managed to find the Pitfall before anyone got hurt. They really should thank me for that. Got bored, so I made myself a pattern, using a Sonic Advance sprite. It should be up in the patterns section by the time you read this. Doesn’t turn out too well using Palette 9, but none of the others had more than one shade of pink. Poor Amy, reduced to having blue eyes… why Nintendo, why?!? Also, the sprite’s too big for anything other than posting it on a sign. Bummer.
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April 26, 2003
Hard to tell, but I think this is a lighter rain than usual. I talk to Bea, she just hands me an item of furniture. That’s the kind of animal she is. I’ve got her in my town, you don’t. Shut up. STOP RUNNING INTO YOUR HOUSES WHEN I TRY TO TALK TO YOU! Stupid neighbors. At least I caught Tangy before she could start her door-opening routine. The neighbors complement me on my big, goofy, brainless smile, like I have much of a choice in the matter. Bah. Your items bore me Nook, restock with more interesting things! Welly’s still not satisfied. It’s amazing how Gaston can angrily tell me off for not having anything to say to him but a greeting, then immediately return to a cheery mood. What’s with the bear shirt suddenly being in fashion? I swear, these animals wouldn’t know fashion if it bit them… ugh, I gotta stop wearing Gracie clothes. Was ‘tapped out for tunes’, so I listened to K.K. Steppe. I’ve heard that style of music before, but where? A western? RPG? In any case, it got me doing a lil’ dance, so I’d say it’s a good song. Oddly, it kinda sounds like Hava Nagila back at my pad. Meh, I’m not complaining. On a completely unrelated note, it is quite cruel to make DK Jr. Math the NES game you’re most likely to get from one of Nook’s raffles. I mean come on! It’s not giving a kid a toothbrush as a treat on Halloween, but close. Meh, let’s blame Nook for it. After all, Nintendo’s infallible. The game’s trying to make me develop a liking for Olivia by having her greet me when loading and saving, I just know it.
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April 27, 2003
The rain goes away in May, right? Right?!?! Finally bought some turnips. Asking price was 106 Bells, doesn’t sound too bad… I hope. Gracie says I’m wearing a Gracie Homme. Isn’t that like French for a man? She also says her car has vivid colors, but I don’t see ‘em. Managed to pull it off agin, you’re dang right it’s shiny! I sure do catch my breath fast when there’s a present to accept. Got a coral shirt, very psychedelic. Makes a good background for my menu. Sue E. make Tangy sad, Sue E. get bonked. You know, it’s pretty odd that you can plant flowers without a shovel. Finally decided to change Tangy’s catchphrase, going with ‘muckraker’. It’s not all that vulgar, but as long as the animals are dishing out insults, I’m good. Why does mean ol’ Static have an umbrella with duckies on it? I’m down to my lowest amount of Bells in a long time, but I think I can pull off a profit here, Miyamoto willing.
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April 28, 2003
Hey! Twiggy! Leave those balls alone! (All in all you’re just a… nother buck in the earnings.) ‘Mom’ died her hair purple. I guess I can’t critique, what with the blue horns growing out of the side of my head. Nook’s selling turnips for 111 Bells, which if I’m calculating right would leave me with a profit of aboot 5,000 Bells, so I decided to hold off on selling. Apparently, according to Savannah, one group of flowers on her front lawn does not a flower garden make. That’s a bonking. But then agin, Shitton went back to perfect. Not that I care, of course. Prince buries Pitfall, Prince gets bonking. Can I interest anyone in one of these lovely and ever-useful Pitfalls by the way? Upset your friends, enact vengeance unto your enemies, hide from bees momentarily! Saharah on the 30th. I refused to help Tangy move, so she’s staying forever. Schweet…
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April 29, 2003
Olivia’s gone. I should’ve sent her a letter, I knew just talking to her wouldn’t be enough. My HRA rating just keeps going more and more down… meh. Nook’s paying poo for turnips. Bought a chic wall from him, even though I wouldn’t describe it as such. My new neighbor is a bear named cupcake, who insults my name to my face. Are you telling me there’s actually female animals that are MORE rude than the Baabaras?!?! She’s almost like frickin’ Gracie! Why don’t that rocking chair rock when I sit on it? Static called me a miser for not trading him a kiddie carpet for my classic bed. I didn’t think any living thing still used that terminology. Wanted to make sure Bea stuck around, so I mailed her a letter… basically begging her not to move. Also gave her my extra Toad print. Also sent Billy a can to get it out of my inventory. I spose if Prince’s friend is a fellow frog, than the phrase ‘I can’t trust someone who can’t catch a bug’ almost makes sense. I think I let a butterfly into my house by accident, but it’s nowhere to be found.
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April 30, 2003
The great and joyful holiday of Spring Cleaning begins tamarra. Yay? This will of course be followed by Do Your Homework Day in June, followed by Get A Root Canal in July, and finally, Lower Yourself Into a Cage of Rabid, Starving Hyenas While Covered in Barbecue Sauce Day, one of my faves. One second the HRA is critiquing me with one score, the next they’re lowering it and complimenting me on it. Bah. I really shouldn’t have bought turnips the week Nook’s having his raffle. Plus, it’s the day Saharah comes to Shitton and I don’t have a carpet. I really should be cursing fate, shouldn’t I? Well too bad, I’ll do as I please, thank you very much. Oh, and plus my GBA needs new batteries, but I found that out before I started playing. Luckily I have some. The animals are running into their houses upon seeing me agin. Bea’s wearing my Toad shirt! Awwww… how sweet of her. And she’s even aware of it, which is refreshing to know. Still… if I knew she’d wear I’d give her something to match her fur better. I wonder if Kapp’n’s hatred of squirrels has something to do with meeting Static one day… not that it justifies it, mind you. Raffle only got me a hi-fi stereo, but there wasn’t anything there worth getting anyway. Not sure if I had the first prize already or not, but I never liked the regal set. ‘Tis an insult to Lord Steven. Static had me deliver the girliest clothes imaginable without being Hawaiian to Prince. I love that guy, though that doesn’t change that his house is barricaded. Got desperate enough for a rug that I bought one from queer’s gyroid. Poor fool, only cost me 100 Bells. Got Saharah’s desert for my troubles… ooh, it’s named after her! That makes it special… I think. Static sure does stop clapping when I catch a fish quickly. Hambo does a passive-aggressive insult of my fishing abilities, Hambo gets bonked. Needed some stationary to get rid of fossils, so I was stuck running errands. Why do they always send me on the errands that are guaranteed to get me furniture when that’s not what I want? Gave my hi-fi stereo to Flash, had wanted to get a rug from him but that never worked out. Managed to get myself a fuller wallet and 30,000 Bells just from having Flash walk around for a bit.
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SUPPLEMENTAL: BROWNIE IN HYRULE
April 30, 2003
Finally, the monkey becomes of some use to me. New song for monkey saving me game, ‘twas unfair to keep it from me for so long. Conductor’s a monkey too. Goodbye Shitton, you shi… stupid town! Hullo Joan! You ripped me off, prepare to die! You know, if you stand up before the train comes to a complete stop, your character flies out and you’re stuck in No Man’s Land until you make a new save file. Dang it Rover, go away! Stupid Nook lover. At least he makes the world sunnier when he sits down, or something. He tried to introduce me to the Nook of Hyrule, who if he’s half as evel as (hey Porter clone) than Shitton’s Nook is worse than Satan and Hitler combined. Ugh, now THAT’S a rainstorm for ya boyo. The shovel and net have no effect on the train by the way. A pink house… meh. Looks like I don’t have all of the Spooky set. Oh well. Such a neat house Brownie has, you can actually reach all the i… i… NOOOOOOO!!!! N-n-not… DANG YOU NOOK!!!! YOU RAT B**TARD!! STOP CORRUPTING THEIR MINDS!!! I mean Static is one thing, he’s a jerk, but… I think I’m gonna be sick. Of all the pictures to put in your home... I dunno why I’m pulling weeds in someone else’s town… but I am. Major differences: waterfall in a new location, stone bridge instead of wooden… and there’s three of them. Tortimer shall pay. Location of Nook, dump and post office is pretty much reversed, as is Museum, Post office and Able Sister’s… well in the same place though. Same two rocks by the Post Office… that’s odd. Phyllis (the evel Pelly) won’t let me save letters. Then why’d you give me the option, you crazy ol’ hag? How does she watch her soaps anyway? Is the tv hidden? Bah, she’s got a Baabara named Cleo. Since when do animals get to have Gulliver items? And what kinda fishbowl is that? This town is all crazy. Whoa, now THAT is what I call a valley! It’s like they’ve got some sort of hill and not just ledges! Nibbles is all like… hyper. Schweet, we don’t get no hyper types around Shitton. Her house’s gyroids also keep a nice beat. Met Cousteau, the French… nevermind. He doesn’t seem to be as evel as Gaston, but I must say I’m little weary of him. Ugh, they even gave him the ‘stache. Ah, a chicken, we don’t even have their polygonal models around Shitton. Betty seems pretty nice, must bonk her. …oy, you have to circle around Nookington’s just to see the freakin’ roof! And the shirts seem so small… we shrink when we enter our houses, don’t we? You know, none of the animals should be named Tom. T’ain’t right. Tim on the other hand is fine, even if one of the lil’ demons has that name. I forget, what color is the Able Sisters’ place in Shitton? Well it’s pinkish-red here. Finally got a map from Copper, now to do the scavenger hunt. I’m… pretty sure they’re aren’t any Pitfalls… yeah, I’m sure. Sent some fossils to Hyrule’s Museum just to get rid of them. I wonder where they go to… Ah, Pelly, there you are. You toy with me aboot saved letters as well, eh? May 5th for Saharah?!? And you’re telling me now?!?! What kind of a thing are you guys running here, huh? Also, it looks like the max items in the Lost and Found being 6 is not exclusive to Shitton. Oh, there’s a wooden suspension bridge too. Lucky monkey. That train sure does jerk at the beginning. I don’t care what he says, Rover’s stalking me. I mean if he’s got that sort of name he’s gotta be a little off.
Those trains sure do pull in and… reach the station one after another if you want them to…. Heh heh, Coconut Island. Faith scares me, I shall run from her. Static’s gone to Hyrule. What a jerk. Bea’s caught a cold, but at least she’s sticking around. Guess I’ll see this Murphy character tamarra.
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May 1, 2003
N… N… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THOSE… THOSE… I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE THEM HERE!!!! I’ll… I’ll get them… oh yes. Oh, and I got a dump model. HOW FREAKIN’ LOVELY!!! IF YOU THINK I’M GONNA CLEAN A DANG THING BEFORE I GET HER BACK… Where’d I put my golden axe… there it is. I dunno what this kite contraption is, but I don’t like it! No! 13 HOUSES??!?! SHITTON IS PERFECT!!! ...Welly even says so. I think I may be physically ill soon… and hitting my golden axe against a rock does little to make it better. I will never associate these kites with anything but bad feelings… I wrote Tangy a letter, to tell her how much I appreciate her. Wait… before she left, I wrote her a… NOOOO!!!! Someone…. must… PAY. Shut up aboot Spring Cleaning Hambo, can’t you see I need a friend?!?! Jerk. Wendell on the 3rd… if I’m still playing this game. They put… they… I DON’T WANT ANY FREAKING KITES, OKAY?!?!?!
May 1, 2003
Oh, I see, my station has a different shade of green. Shut up Rover, I’m even less in the mood. I try to talk to Bea, she insults me for fishing. No matter, I WILL have her back! She remembers the town tune… They’ve got kites, and I don’t care. EAT AXE YOU STUPID KITE!!! The demon twins at Nookington’s freak me… they’re like those kids in the Simpsons who know all your secrets. You know… I don’t like that Nook can trap me as soon as I go upstairs. It’s my second day in Hyrule, I can bonk ‘em now. Wrote Bea a letter, telling her that I miss her and want her back… and that I simply will not take no for an answer. And she took her house with her… Oh, and I think they got Sue E. Major ‘meh’. Well… I’ve done all I could. If you’re a religious person… you get my drift. Golden axe can’t hurt the train either.
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May 2, 2003
More fossils? How many did I send away? Ugh, and now I have to send away more. Gaston, you dang traitor. Do you know how hard I worked to make your house a dump? Ugh. Bought myself a flaming shirt. I may have been coo before, but now I’m fla… tubular. Tangy says she loves her bear shirt… so did Bea. Ah, how I miss her. And Tangy is still trying to sell me junk. Wendell tamarra. Gave the kite that’s where Bea’s house use to be my customary bashing with my golden shovel. Why isn’t Murphy gone yet? We don’t need no stinkin’ bears, we were fine without ‘em! So many signs going to waste… Well I’ll be, the Museum doesn’t have a common dragonfly yet… Blathers tells me dragonflies have ghastly eyes, then crosses his. Whatever.
May 2, 2003
Taken Brownie for a spin. Dang does Rollo have a big nose. I dunno what a beaulch is, but he’s going to get a bonking anyway. Three consonants in a row, honestly… Tank’s gone… hardly even knew him. Oh well. Found Blanca… I didn’t know she had spots on her face. Ugh, even the clocks on Nookington’s are raccoons. Blah. I’m really having my doubts aboot ever wanting a Nookington’s in Shitton… Bah, they got Gaston too. Fine take my best jerks and my best friend, see if I care! Blanca changed clothes on the train I guess. Gave her a Luigi face, it looks quite nice if you ask me. Only allowed Brownie to meet Murphy, who’s a Fightin’ Irish bear. Ugh, enough cultural stereotypes and insults! Why would you make a house with two toilets a whining gyroid? I mean this thing is annoying enough to be shot dead. Plus he has two teddies and an elephant slide for some reason. Did I mention the dragonflies are back in both towns? Just common dragonflies so far though. Tangy’s wearing the shirt I sent her as LuWigi… that’s a bad sign. A town can’t have two Sue E.s, can it? Complemented Cupcake on her nailpolish so she’ll leave for Hyrule and free up space in Shitton. Dang those mosquitoes are hard to catch… Changed my mind aboot Nookington’s and had Brownie buy herself a Papa Bear from Nookway, which she actually didn’t have. Well if she’s here, she might as well pull weeds. So the voice of what letter you write in a letter changes depending on your gender eh? Well the female one is even more annoying I say. Anyways, I was writing Murphy to tell him to come to Hyrule (agin, to free up space), and gave him the Papa bear as incentive. It’s aboot time it wasn’t raining in Shitton but raining elsewhere.
Came back from that thing I do, and Tangy gave me a wagon wheel through the mail. She says she’s saving some errands for me. Oh goody. Bea called me charming… maybe things will work out after all. COUSTEAU?!? GET OUT OF MY TOWN!!! I didn’t lose two frogs to get a fourth, dang it!
Came back as LuWigi to Hyrule. Is Joan always on the dang train? It’s only Sunday once a week… well I guess she could chase time zone changes. No Rover, you’re not young, at least not for a cat. AND DON’T INSULT MY FRIEND-MAKING ABILITIES, YOU STUPID NOOK LOVER! Tom seems like another sort of Gaston… but a cat. I’ll take him! Bea went to bed after I woke her up by running. Curse my luck. So I was forced to resort to writing her another impassioned letter, giving her a gyroid. Heh, Gaston calls Saharah a ‘chick’… why did they have to take my favorites? Please Bea, come back to me… Joan sure gets startled easily.
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May 3, 2003
Sure Static, give Prince the girly shirt and don’t even stick around to laugh at it! See if I care! Prince is also burying gifts in adjacent acres now. Nook’s already remodeling?!?! Sheesh, that was fast. Doesn’t seem quite worth it, except now there’s somewhere else to explore. I did NOT send away this many fossils. Hambo’s gone… Welly doesn’t even like Hyrule for Miyamoto’s sake! Bea gives me many presents, but refuses to come home. Prince buries another Pitfall, Prince gets a bonking. Wendell gave me another classroom wall. Lazy bum. Tangy, I don’t care if you are the last one, don’t call my house a dump! Eat bonk! Hey wait… Saturday, have turnips and Nook’s is closed… off I go!
It’s not the same to listen to Slider elsewhere. NOOOOO!!! NOT K.K. COUNTRY!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!! I really shouldn’t put this into my stereo… Meh, I’ll decide tamarra.
May 3, 2003
Took a pretty big loss selling turnips to Nook, so I guess I’ll have to make it up next week. What a crazy week… Also bought a holly fig while I was there. Apparently Hyrule now has a Gaston-like dog named Butch… how come they get all the coo neighbors? Interesting house, very modern. Since when does Bea try to buy stuff from and sell stuff to me? Decided to listen to Welly over here… so that Hyrule will be just as ‘perfect’ as Shitton! MUHAHAHA!!! Olivia? What are you doing here? Weird. And she’s trying to take all my cash! Bah! Tom, thanks to me, is calling everyone an insult that’s vaguely cat related. You know what, Hambo? You can just stay here! Shoo! Leave me be! Sent Bea another, shorter letter with a daffodil table before I left. Why is it bright outside the train no matter what? Are we in a time warp?
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May 4, 2003
Came in as Brownie to screw things up. How is it that we’re sposed to see a gyroid buried at such an incline? Sheesh, that’s a lot of gyroids to be found. Nibbles appears to be a Tangy and Twiggy clone. Meh, it’s all good. I think I like this Puck fellow… he has a helmet. Well I’ll be, Brownie has a shirt circuit and I don’t. Now why would the Lost and Found have a shovel? Buried two trees where Welly wanted me to… and so my plan commences. Cleo tells me Saharah’s trying to buy out her competitors back home… that’s kinda weird.
May 4, 2003
Nookington’s is done. Do I really want to go in there? GAAH! LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU STUPID MUSEUM!! (I may have discovered a glitch involving fossils and traveling between two towns… not that I’m taking advantage of it on purpose of course, just cleaning out my mailbox and inventory.) Baabara’s gone to Hyrule… I’m doing something wrong here. Bea gave me a nice elephant slide… but now I think it’s better if I not visit here just yet. Heh heh heh… Popped in K.K. Country, then immediately switched to K.K. Technopop. The things I do just to have a full collection… I don’t think I’m going to buy furniture as often now that I have to deal with the demon spawn… Have to shove them out of the way just to see any merchandise, which means I have to… touch them. Blech. Wait… so there’s kitchen tile… and kitchen flooring? Those kids take too long to say things. They should learn to be more efficient, at least as efficient as Ol’ Man Nookers. Gracie on the 6th. Joan was selling turnips for 115 Bells a turnip, so I only decided to buy a group of 100. Now honestly, giving Cousteau a purple house just adds insult to injury. Where do all these weeds keep coming from?
Went to visit Shitton, hopefully bringing Hylian neighbors with me. Murphy says fashion is a waste of time. I think he wants me to send him clothing. Cupcake thinks Brownie was going to hit on her… meh. I still say it’s weird that both towns have Sue E. Only had Brownie visit neighbors I didn’t mind letting go (Murphy, Cupcake, Sue E. and Cousteau), and picked up some apples before she left.
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May 5, 2003
‘Mom’ always thought I just drew lines on the wall for the heck of it, but now just realizes that I was measuring myself. Fine, I get it, you’re a bit dense. Happy? She asks if I’m still growing… I doubt it. Hmmmm… no one moved out, Ricky and Betty moved in. MY PLAN’S WORKING!!! MWAHAHAHA!!! Gave Prince another bonking, since I couldn’t remember if I did it for the last Pitfall he buried. It’s amazing how close a successful game of money rock gets me to the bank. Betty is the chicken thing, who has planted herself exactly where Static used to be (so exact that she’s trapped by the signs I left there.) Ricky is a Gaston-like squirrel (yes!) who calls me ‘nutcase’ (double yes!!) Also, he has K.K. Western, which reminds me of a midi in Mario Dancing (an excellent, quirky little Parappa clone that you should check out if you have RPG Maker 2000. Rated somewhere between T and M by the Lou Ratings Board for profanity and adult content.) That midi is based of a real song, but I can’t remember it’s title… something by the Wallflowers maybe? Anyway, his house is like a regular basement… bar/lounge/entertainment area… you know what I’m talking aboot. With the pool table and the old fashioned jukebox, the dark brown wood and whatnot. The Wanderer’s bothering Tangy agin. Bought a ranch bed from Nook ‘N Spawn. So now I have to ask aboot 3 rugs and wallpapers? Ugh. I wonder if anyone’s been driven insane by all the bass meaning fish and a musical thingy jokes.
May 5, 2003
Hey, it worked last time, so might as well do it agin. Talked to Hambo, since I really don’t care if he completely disappears forever. Ditto Baabara. Watched Static upset Puck… excellent. Planted an apple and cherry tree at Acre E-3 (how ironic) at Welly’s request. Bought a holly bonsai from the twins, as well as a fancy carpet for Saharah. Got a daisy meadow from Saharah. Ugh, shut up Rover. Or at least say something new. Talked to Cupcake, who wanted me to organize a shopping tour. Bah, you’ll have to leave yourself if you want to shop in the other town. Murphy tells me the same thing as yesterday. Betty says she prefers Shitton. Bah. She also reminds us that when days are rainy, play video games! Interesting how the weather in the game and outside match, even though it’s May. Sue E. says the clothing at Nook’s is slightly low class. You go, girlfriend! Whoop! For the last time, Brownie doesn’t know queer! Stupid Rover. Disgrace to cats everywhere.
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May 6, 2003
Let’s get one thing straight, Nook. A mop is never ‘stunning.’ We got Nibbles now, which is nice I guess. Weather report says sun until late June… I still see rain. Perfection on Gracie agin. Got a giraffe print… must have been her sister. Why’s all of the stuff I’m still interested in buying have to be run by the spawn? Blanca’s walking around wearing my face… it’s not quite right for her proportions. Tangy’s mad cuz I told her she had fashion sense then wouldn’t accept her clothing donations since I already had them. Nibbles has found herself in the same house once occupied by Gaston… schweet.
May 6, 2003
Just wanted to talk to some neighbors in Shitton as Brownie and get some exchange going. Rover, don’t ever speak Spanish or call me ‘baby’ agin. YOU GOT THAT?!?!? Also took a Gracie outfit while I was there. ‘Twas a fiendish shirt, though it don’t look all that evel to me. Had Brownie meet Gabi, don’t like her much either. Twiggy helped me catch a spider by looking at the tree. Oh, it is dark outside when you travel by train at night… sorta. Musn’t… talk… to Bea! Hambo gives me furniture for free after me refusing to pay for it, Hambo gets mad. Meh. Planted some apple trees at Welly’s request and called it a night.
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May 7, 2003
Hmmmm… no new neighbors… looks like I’ll have to do what I did before to free up room. T-Bone thinks I can’t be a party animal unless I’m a Virgo… I wish he’d get over astrology already and just ask what my birthday is. You know… I agree with Microsoft Word. Liveable isn’t a word, Welly! Able to be lived? A place cannot be lived! It can be inhabited, experienced, but not lived! I play along with Tangy’s game of being Saharah, she sells me old flooring for 3,000 Bells.. that deserves at least two bonkings. Nothing from Copper today, so I guess Nook will have a sale soon. Billy has cherry blossoms burned into his memory… poor guy.
May 7, 2003
Came into Hyrule as LuWigi. Finally met Blanca as him, she’s in Prince’s outfit and lost the beautiful face I made her. Made her a Waluigi face, which came out surprisingly well if I do say so myself… I really should start copying these patterns to the computer before I give them to Blanca. At least I don’t think there’s any other way to save them. She sure does stretch the mask out weird on her face though. Waluigi never had that big a nose… though it does tend to stand out. Why’s Blanca have to remain a secret agin? Both trees that Brownie planted are shriveling. Well poo. I think Bea hates me. She says I sleep in too late and won’t say anything interesting to me because she claims she ran out of those. Sent her a letter anyway, but things are looking bad. Static says I always wear the same outfit, even though he’s never seen me in the giraffe print before. Gaston complains it’s too sunny to do the laundry… that’s a new one. The evel…er Sue E. is wearing the pattern I posted at the Able Sister’s (the Luigi posing, not the other one.) She’s from a place called Nsider by the way. And she says ‘purr’… why do all the Sue E.s want to imitate cat catchphrases? Did some work for Welly and called it a day.
I come back, and Mitzi’s back. Bah, I don’t trust female cats much.
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May 8, 2003
Well at least Tangy’s still around. ‘Mom’ says she woke the neighborhood up watching a scary movie and screaming. Those dang old people, always causing trouble. The sale’s tamarra, it’s carpets… yay. Doesn’t look like I’ll be able to make it though. Ah well. Savannah’s in Hyrule… meh. Bea says not to forget her… one sec. All right, that’ll do. I swear, the Spawns’ voices… like nails on a chalkboard, balloons rubbing together… blah. So close to Mother’s Day, and still no way to write ‘Mom’. Well… I guess in my case it’s not a problem, but still. Awww… Mitzi says mew. Pretty sparse house though. T-Bone’s got bad hay fever… I may have a slight case outside the game, but I think LuWigi’s fine. He got sad when I asked him why. Oh well. Silly Nibbles, I can’t talk to you if you hang around your door all day. THE QUARANTINE STAYS!!! MUHAHAHA!! Why is Blanca wearing my Luigi face and not my Waluigi face? She says everyone wants to talk to her. Well duh, she looks like a celebrity! Or something.
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May 9, 2003
Hmmmmm… no mail. Must be because of the sale. Yup, can’t go into Nook’s… lazy old bum. Like it really takes an hour to set up… You know, I think Mitzi is a Bea clone. Well I don’t care, I still want her back. Ricky sends me on an errand, Ricky runs away as soon as I complete that errand. Decided not to keep searching and just keep the bug for myself. Dug up 30,000 Bells from a shiny spot, so maybe things will start looking up… also got the 10,000 Bell bag from money rock. Nibbles has such a bouncy tail, it’s kind of odd really.
Managed to make the sale. Nook has to close up shop for the sale, and he’s selling everything on the second floor?!?! Bah. I hate to say this, but I’d much rather buy from him than his spawn. At least I’m able to sell things to them. Got an orange bunny balloon, I forget if I have one already or not. So wait… you can only see Cousteau’s eyelids… and yet he blinks. Does he have two pairs of eyelids or a variation on an owl/lizard/cat eye? Maybe it’s just an anime thing. Tangy wonders who puts the windsocks up. Elementary, my dear Tangy, ‘tis the work of Satan. Or worse, Nook. Got Ricky’s job done, even though I can’t remember the last time I was sure I got an item I didn’t already have for completing an errand.
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May 10, 2003
I don’t care if I do have all of them you can get that way, I want NES games buried for scavenger hunts in Shitton, not plum bonsais and pitfalls! I guess it’s cute that Nintendo has alternate spawns of The Nook’d One talk when you don’t talk to them directly, but why can I hear an echo of one of them in the other’s dialog box? Don’t make much sense to me. ENOUGH ABOOT QUEER ALREADY TANGY!!! Sheesh, it’s like the game doesn’t want you to have people play it who aren’t going to stick around. Wendell on the 12th. Now why would you have a clone of Static who’s also a squirrel? Ah well. Got Aloha K.K. from Slider. Didn’t seem all that… Alohaish. Catchy tune in my stereo though. And that’s when I remember I bought 100 turnips. Nook’s buying at 112 Bells… thought at first I made a profit, but I didn’t. Ah well, not like I lost all that much.
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May 11, 2003
Went to see Joan. She was asking for 115 Bells per turnip agin, so I only bought 100 (hopefully this time I’ll remember I have them. Tortimer gave me my lovely phone… I kinda forgot it was Mother’s Day, but I got it covered earlier, so not to worry. Betty seems to be a Sandy clone, which is partially a Bea clone. I think Murphy is a quasi Gaston/Static clone. ‘Mom’ wants flowers, not worms… now where do I find worms? Does the fishing rod come equipped with them? Why’s everyone keep mentioning my name? That they’ve forgotten my name, that my name is weird… what, do they like being bonked?!?! My phone only dials Dial-A-Psychic… well I can’t let ‘Mom’ get a piece of my mind, unless it’s ‘her’, but at least I don’t need Katrina anymore.
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May 12, 2003
Sandy’s wearing my shirt and singing a happy tune and I dunno why. You know, on the bright side, at least Nook has to wear a suit when he comes into work every day now. Ha! Nook’s selling… AT 920 BELLS A TURNIP?!?! Wow… they weren’t kidding. 92,000 Bells, just from that… and that brings me to 5,000,000 Bells in my bank account exactly. Maybe I will stick with this turnip thing… All right, that’s it! Tell me, how do I ‘say the word’ so I can learn some Japanese? Come on, it’s not that hard to make the animals teach you a few words, is it? Somebody mad Mitizi sad… I had no suspects, so I just bonked Cupcake since she was in the area. Some traveler came into Prince’s house uninvited, and yet it makes Prince feel warm and fuzzy inside… praps sarcasm? He also thinks I’m the smartest guy in Shitton…. well I am, but I worry aboot him for thinking that way. Murphy’s wearing the pink sweater too… meh, I guess I’m okay with it if he realizes the situation he’s in. You know… there are four different parts of Acre C-2, all of which you have to leave the acre to get to. Wendell gave me a tree-lined wall, I think I’ve got it.
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May 13, 2003
I almost feel bad that someone as kind, if misguided, as Sandy would be wearing my shirt… oh well. Hey wait… that dragonfly’s landing on the water… I didn’t expect that level of detail from those things. I forget, does it do that for a drink or just for the heck of it? Well it’s netted now, so I guess we’ll never know. Bought a rocket from The Spawn. I made two animals sad today, and you know what? I don’t care. Mitzi helped me catch a mole cricket. Gulliver calls me his dear child… must have too much water on the brain. Apparently I called him a charlatan, which is good for me, since I forget what the word means exactly. Apparently he fell asleep on a jellyfish. Got the Tower of Pisa from him in any case. Dang it Tangy, shut up aboot queer already! Nine weeds around what is now Nibbles’ property… very nice. Redd on the 15th… I still like him, though not as much.
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May 14, 2003
Someone buried a pop machine… that must have taken awhile. Twiggy’s sad and I dunno why. One thing I can say aboot The Spawn… they’re shorter than me. I learned two things today: 1. If a neighbor is right by the money rock, you can’t hit it, and 2. Mitzi is willing to get in my way while I hit the money rock. All the more reason why I need Bea back… oh, and 3. How it feels to bonk Mitzi on the head. She’s a crier by the way. I don’t care how many animals I make sad, I’m not going to say I have hay fever when I’m not showing any symptoms! Bah!
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May 15, 2003
You know, it’s times like these that makes me think YOUR FACE is difficult… TO LOOK AT! Bought a shrine lantern from the little brats. Has my horn hairdo grown taller or are The Spawn just that much shorter? Hey, if it’s a well, then why are the coins only a foot or so down? Stupid Redd waiting ‘til night to set up shop. Savannah’s visiting… why? Hey, does that mean…? Too bad she only says two things. Apparently she agrees with Welly aboot Shitton being lovely… whatever. Apparently Prince has been manipulated agin, this time to wear my shirt… this wouldn’t be his first time if I remember correctly. He also threatened to eat a cubby hole that he got off of Cupcake… all right, I’m convinced.
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May 16, 2003
Why are there so many colors of golf bags agin? I mean it’s not like you have a choice of a red, green, or blue drinking bird, so what makes the golf bags so special? How did T-Bone get inside his house without me hearing him open the door off-screen? Now every animal’s playing of the town tune should be different when you greet them, right? Cuz Cousteau and Prince’s sound exactly the same. Exactly. Ricky says he’ll mess me into next week. Not bad, but I still prefer ‘Don’t mess with me, I’ll mess your face!’ Just don’t go with ‘I’ll mess your face up!’, cuz that makes too much sense. Tangy betrayed me with the whole forcing me into a trade for my classic bed. It seems that’s triggered when your inventory’s full. Sure, I could order another one, but much better just to mess with time. Still, bummer to lose a friend like that. Oh well, at least now I’ve got a use for my signs agin. Do mine workers and other tunnelers really dress like Resetti does in his Super Smash Bros. Melee trophy in Japan? You know, I’ve had this idea for awhile now. Eternal Darkness 2: Sanity’s Rebirth. Insanity effect? Mr. Resetti. I dunno aboot you, but I’d crack up. Sent Billy a can that’s been stuck in by inventory. Also asked him when AC2’s coming out for the heck of it. Hey wait, the fan things are gone! Finally… Pretty bland selection from Redd today. I… couldn’t do it. I tried… but that third bonk was just too much. So I left her house open, but put some signboards up as a warning to her that next time, I shall not be so merciful. You know, I’d still say my favorite house of all the neighbors I’ve had would be Gaston’s, followed by Billy’s, both of which have purple roofs oddly enough. Hey, why doesn’t Mitzi have a nose? Wait… neither does Rover, or Tangy… and you can forget aboot whiskers.
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May 17, 2003
Mitzi… is gone. Why? She won’t say, but I know the truth… YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS CRUEL FATE!!! STOP TAKING EVERY NEIGHBOR I’VE EVER CHERISHED FROM ME!!! She has been replaced by Mathilda, another kangaroo with an odd tune who calls me ‘wee baby’… she’s so already bonked to heck. Her house is very Prohibition era speakeasy-ish, complete with pool table, jukebox and row of slot machines… I still want her out. Wait… jukebox? If only I knew my history… oh well. It’s a spacey day at Nook’s, with both space station and accompanying space shuttle. Tangy is trying to sweeten me up… by saying the exact same thing as Gabi did. I should have known they were clones… I wonder… if Cousteau and Murphy got into a fight, and a politically correct parent was watching, would she complain? Would the dreaded Lieberman get involved? Saharah on the 19th. Got K.K. Ragtime, which was playing in Mathilda’s house. Pretty boring, but at least I’ve got it now.
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May 18, 2003
Missed out on Joan this week. I swear, it shouldn’t rain this much in May. Bought a stove and a spring shirt from The Spawn. Why did they program in variations of saying the same thing for different neighbors? Are they trying to bore me? Dump’s just aboot full, which I guess makes sense.
May 18, 2003
Stopped into Hyrule as LuWigi. Weeds everywhere, but that’s to be expected. Static got a letter from The Singing Bug Boy when he was young… no wonder he’s so screwed up. I called his letter crazy, he said he oughta whack me, I reminded him with a visual example that it is I who have the whacking capability. Gaston wants a movie theater. That would be nice… hey, what if like… nah, it’d never happen. Sure, we could get movie previews for games on our computers, but with no hard drive, it’d never work in AC2… unless… SD cards? Found Savannah, she seems okay. Bea reminds me that you can only get Saharah carpets from Saharah. Nice to see you too! Ugh. Did some work for Welly, apparently my planted trees in D-5 died. Rover needs to stop using that phone already, it’s getting to be an addiction. He said I looked flushed in the face and wondered what I had been up to in Hyrule. Yeah, I wish.
Came in as Brownie. That Cleo is really sickeningly cute. Bought a pop machine from the spawn. Tom has such a high pitched greeting and such a low voice… kinda the opposite of T-Bone. I don’t even think I want Baabara in Hyrule. Saharah comes on the 20th over here. Cleaning up weeds around here is definitely a two-person job. Wait… Baabara’s house isn’t red!
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May 19, 2003
‘Mom’ gave me an apple… she’s a bit late. T-Bone’s gone, leaving me with Lucky. Japanese soda cans are a lot thinner than ours, aren’t they? I even see some bottles in the vending machine. The mosquitoes are biting agin. Nibbles has learn the wonderful catchphrase ‘snort’… ugh. Take that, Sue E.! Ricky sure has crazy lips… they’re like… crazy. Lucky is a dog mummified in band-aids… very funny. Sick jerks. He has the house of a crazy person, including two Master Swords (you really only need one if you know how to use it), a bus stop sign, tons of meteors, a slot machine and walls and floor of an Egyptian pyramid. Got 1,010 Bells for an errand that took me through like 5 neighbors. That’s a bonking. Still, with enough tree shaking it was enough to pay for a carpet, even though I already had it. Got a basement floor for my troubles.
May 19, 2003
May 19, 2003
I see Baabara and have to check my memory card as I come in. I really should clear out my mail already. I really couldn’t stand that annoying female voice day after day… Finally gots a Lil’ Bro’s shirt from the woman I love. I’ve got it, you don’t!
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May 20, 2003
Dial-A-Psychic says to go camping. Errr… how? Found out what happens when I admit I might be putting on weight to Prince, then bonked him to heck anyway. No news from Copper, must be time for a sale. Also bonked Nibbles for her Saharah impersonation. Stupid thing aboot actually having to buy a carpet from them when you play along… WOULD YOU STUPID ANIMALS STOP PRETENDING YOU’VE FORGOTTEN MY FREAKIN’ NAME ALREADY?!? I swear, it was like five times today… ‘Mom’s trying to get Lucky to befriend me now. Cousteau and Ricky are apparently having ‘rap sessions’ back at Cousteau’s pad… meh. You know, I think it’s just refreshing in this game to find a Gaston like Ricky, there to provide sarcasm and passive insults as a change of pace against the overly cheerful responses of everyone else. I still swear that the game knows I’m looking for stationary and only gives me furniture or clothing as a result for the errands I run. That Mathilda thingy has large eyes.
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May 21, 2003
Ugh! Stop calling me that Mathilda! Get out of my freakin’ town already! ‘Mom’ plans to send me spaghetti… which wouldn’t work outside of AC either. Sale’s tamarra at 6. Geez, butterflies everywhere… Twiggy calls Lucky a moocher for stealing her picture book. If you’re trying to make me miss T-Bone, then it won’t work! Oddly, Lucky has T-Bone’s personality… which I think is also Prince’s. I don’t care if he is bandaged, if he lets someone else take something that isn’t even his, he gets bonked. But then Sandy thinks she borrowed it directly from Twiggy. Well that’s odd. Finally cleared out my inventory of fossils. The Spawn are selling a country guitar, a folk guitar and biwa lute today… freaky.
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May 22, 2003
Sales items are apparently upstairs at Nookington’s... three walls there, didn’t seem all that rare but two of them I didn’t have. Purple balloon today… I like purple. Made conversation with Tangy for the first time in awhile. We went through one of those mazes at the back of Nintendo Power that I’ve never seen. Took awhile, mostly cuz she didn’t actually show me the maze. No reward though. Hmmmm… Copper tells you when Nook’s having a sale that day… I didn’t know that… or did I just forget? Got a regal bed in a scavenger hunt. Turns out you can push Nook out the door (not that he’ll be outside when the camera changes) but you can’t push him up the stairs.
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May 23, 2003
Ugh, I swear it’s standard for it not to rain so much this late in May. Or at least, it was at one point… And it’s one of those hard rains too. Bah. Saharah on the 25th. Went and got my coin from Nintendo Power. Bought a silk bloom shirt from The Spawn, immediately sold it back. Did I mention Nibbles says ‘snort’ now? Well anyway, I gave Sue E. a bonking for that. Heh heh, Ricky’s got a batbrella. That’s coo and I dunno why. I think Billy did that ‘appear out of nowhere on the edge of the screen’ thingy. Dial-A-Psychic says not to trip over the new love in your path… I guess that could mess things up, yup.
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May 24, 2003
The coin makes a coin sound when you touch it… yay? Rearranged my basement and picked up some gyroids for the mail, then played a little DK3 since it was there. Got I Love You from Slider, couldn’t get it before because I forgot how he capitalizes everything. Oh, and Slider does give you repeats before you complete your collection. Don’t ask how I know. Bought a sharp umbrella from Nook. Oh, so it’s a Toad print, but a polka parasol. Roight… and anyway, wouldn’t it be a lot easier if you didn’t have to go to your catalog to know if you had an item already or not? Oh well, maybe next game. Hey… I don’t remember planting those flowers… Heck of a lot of buried things and weeds today. Ummmm… I don’t have paws, Prince. Caught a large bass but saved it for next month. Or maybe I should’ve held onto it… oh well. Tangy’s still trying to take all my money. Ricky went from sad to cheerful in an instant. I really get jealous of people who can do that.
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May 25, 2003
GET OUT OF MY DANG TOWN ALREADY MATHILDA!! Bonked her to heck to make sure she knew my feelings. Actually, I was in a bonking mood for most of my time in Shitton today. Look HRA, putting everything I can’t reorder from Nook in my house is NOT ‘taking a direction and going with it’. Prince was quite interested in acquiring my green pipe. I think that’s all I need to say. No, that was not sexual innuendo. Now why would anyone throw out such a nice Spaceman Sam? And where do they take all this crud? The Great Interdimensional Dump? Or maybe it’s just inter-town, I dunno. In the depths of No Man’s Land, where horrible creepy little animals leave, living a pathetic little existence in a dog-eat-dog world… or something. Bought an alarm clock and a taiko drum (looks sideways to me, is that how you play it?) from The Spawn. A heck of a lot of animals keep a variety of objects inside of handbags with a flower, I think a daisy, more specifically, on it. Welly says things are screwed up agin somehow. Got enough Bells between running errands and through shaking trees in order to try to get a bug as part of Murphy’s errand to justify buying a carpet I already had to myself in order to get a new one from Saharah. Ended up with a sandlot after much turning down carpets I thought I already had.
Bought meself a pack of AC-E Series 4 cards. I forget if I got Series 3 yet… oh well. Ah, there’s old Prince! And Hambo, who’s in Hyrule! And Huggy, she stopped by for a bit! Oh, and Girl (7)! She tells fortunes! And this last one is… is… NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOT THAT DANG SPAWN TOMMY!!!! WHY!?!??! Ugh… I spose it wouldn’t be right to set it on fire… maybe I can trade it to someone gullible. Well at least I can have Katrina on the go now. Prince tells her that a mayor doesn’t stop at intersections, meaning ‘Misfortune may turn into a blessing’ and to weave a melody of love… while looking out for frogs. Oh, and my lucky color is white. How… bland. She also says not to take things seriously. Good philosophy I think.
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May 26, 2003
Oy, no more rain, please. Decided to get some items from scanning my E-reader cards, even though I dunno where I’m going to save all the letters. Held off on getting anything from that Spawn of Evel for now, maybe later. Huggy suggests I listen to K.K. Mambo, K.K. Samba, K.K. Bossa and K.K. Salsa. I think I only have two of those, tops. Got a lovely end table from her. Hambo’s afraid of bees and brings me a writing desk. Prince is apparently putting a Farway Museum benefit concert at his house… you’d think he’ tell me in person. Anyway, he sends an ivory piano. Oh, and his card says that’s a beard around his face. Gracie on the 28th. 10,000 Bells from the shiny spot today. Found a snail on a flower. Is there a correlation between snails and rain, and if so, why could I catch one on the island? Looks like the fact that it’s raining does change some things, since I caught myself a frog (they’re under fish, not insects in terms of how you catch them. Same as the crawfish.) Now we must get into whether the kind of rain has any effect… Shitton’s apparently back to perfection. I upset Tangy by telling her she had no fashion sense. Hey, maybe if you stuck with my nice bear shirt or went with the one at the Able Sisters’, I’d think differently! I dunno what a Sonoran green toad is, but Blathers says they make a noise similar to ‘Greeeeeeee! Gree! Gree!’ Apparently he also keeps toads in the museum, so I guess I should keep looking. Wait… don’t toads live on land mostly? Awww, they got the little frog stuck on a lilypad and he’s all croaking and puffing out that sac thingy underneath his mouth… I swear, this game has a lot more attention to detail than it first seems to… though still not much attention to detail in general. Chased a floating present until it landed in a tree. ‘Twas a peach, yay. Hey wait… I caught a frog… and I’m talking to a frog.. and there’s this other frog… but I caught this little frog… Needless to say, my experiment to try to catch Cousteau with my fishing rod didn’t work out well, though I think I almost caught him when I used my net… better try it agin. I wonder… should I try to give the snail to Cousteau? Too late, he’s upset now. Also managed to piss Billy off for saying he’s a freak for liking muscle cramps. I stand by my position.
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May 27, 2003
Fine, keep raining! See if I care!! Decided to reward my curiosity by seeing what Tommy gives me… yup, shouldn’t have done that. I know completion is a fun hobby and all… BUT I AM NOT GOING TO CONTAMINATE MY CATALOG WITH A PICTURE OF HIS NOOKINGESS!!! Anyway, Tommy says there’s a sale soon and to meet him at the dock. So then I had Resetti give me a visit, and I’d do it agin. Meh, at least now I know I could have the item if I wanted it. Prince thinks it’s not fair that some women can look good in clothing that’s too small for them. Or maybe it’s giraffes he has a problem with… Bought a regal lamp, a dragon suit, and a dawn shirt from The Spawn. Now why is it that I can’t just walk up to an item in the store and get a thought bubble as to what it is? I mean I can outside, and it’d be far better than having to ask the brats all the time. T-Bone came to visit and was in tears because I remembered who he was. He said seeing me makes him want to move back to Shitton, and that he gets really hungry for absolutely no reason. Roight… It’s still raining, but I caught a crawfish. Meh.
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May 28, 2003
The Spawn were selling a windsock shirt, but I’m not aboot to own anything with the name ‘windsock’ in it just yet. Gracie says the giraffe print is a special remake of the Hyrule collection… I dunno, have you seen anything like it in a Zelda game? Perfect as usual, gots me a watermelon shirt. Did I already have that or am I thinking of a kiwi shirt. Oh well, it’s very nice in any case. Did I mention that Lucky is a Prince clone? Cousteau is NOT growing on me… I just figure I might as well talk to him, if he’s nearby. Mailed away some fossils. At least there’s not as many around as before.
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May 29, 2003
The thing aboot sending in fossils is you gotta take them out of your mailbox and store them in your inventory. Ricky left… dang. For Miyamoto’s sake, won’t someone please get Astrid the heck out of Shitton? Twiggy taunted me with the offer of furniture, so I gave her a bonking. Ricky was replaced by Tom, who I’m pretty sure is not from Hyrule. Apparently, his original slang is ‘me-YOWZA!’ Yup, I like my change better. He seems to have a little fish and insect collection. Hmmmm… I wonder if Welly appears on Founder’s Day. Something aboot those lily pads looks… different. Saharah on the 31st. Ugh, not her agin.
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May 30, 2003
‘Mom’ says convenience stores don’t make things much more convenient. You ever hear a joke so corny you want to beat the joke teller into a bloody pulp? Oh wait… Saharah’s coming on another raffle day. Dang. Nothing to buy today… ugh, what a pickle. Apparently Lucky checks his horoscope on tv. Now how do I do that? Saw some fireflies by the river. Caught one, apparently they’re hot, or something. Even Blathers finds fireflies peaceful, but he finds glowing bums to be indecent. Billy says I’d make a good bicycler. Meh, I say my head’s too big.
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May 31, 2003
You know, Astrid has a surprising amount of blue on her body. Or maybe it’s just the tv. Even more surprisingly, Microsoft Word (yes, I am a traitor, you may stone me) says that Astrid is a word and tv isn’t. Decided to listen to K.K. Mambo from Slider. Thanks, Huggy! It gets to sounding Mambo-ish pretty quickly, but the whistling just doesn’t fit, and sometimes it sounds all islandish. You know… a dog with a mouth like that really shouldn’t be able to whistle. It just don’t follow the laws of physics. As is often the case, K.K. Mambo sounds more Mambo-ish in my stereo. Billy believes old carpet makes good exotic wallpaper. Well… no, it just looks like exotic wallpaper used to be old carpet in some cases… I think. Fireflies seem to be a regular occurrence now, and they seem to group together. Sheesh, is Betty’s house ever… conventional. Even… Suburban. No, I’m sorry, that was just plain mean. The animals have begun to remind me aboot the Fishing Tourneys… does that start tamarra? Why does this game teach such intolerance for cockroaches? I mean I guess they’re not in danger of being persecuted out of existence, but still… Caught myself an eel, though it just looks like a long fish to me. On a related note, that eel in Super Mario 64 was coo. Just the way he moved and swam around… I wish they made the head more detailed though. Oh, and since we’re talking aboot other video games… buy WarioWare. Now. Which is related because ummmm… it has classic Nintendo-related microgames, including Balloon Fight, Super Mario Bros., Mario Bros., Zelda, Ice Climber… and sports games not all that related to the Tennis, Soccer, or Golf Nintendo games, but meh. Anyways, must be the change in season and month that’s giving me so many new things to donate to Blathers. It’s aboot time. Blathers said an eel is another fish that disappears from time to time. Wait… is an eel a fish? I thought it was just a marine animal-type thingy. You know it’s interesting… once you get the golden axe, you don’t really have much use for an axe, once you have a golden fishing rod, you don’t really have much use for fishing, and once you’ve got a golden net… you’re bonking neighbors in style, baby! …sorry. Hey, if I wait for Wisp, Saharah will be gone, right? Hey wait… that clicking noise isn’t those windcatchers… Heh, the ball fell in the hole. That’s funny and I dunno why. Well I’ll be, Nook closes his top floor completely on raffle day if you’ve got Nookington’s. And he’s got a big sign too. He was selling a Mario trophy this time. Another reason I hate him, selling Mario trophies before Luigi ones. Of course, it was the first thing I won. Also won a hamster cage, coo. I hope I don’t have to feed the hamster inside it… or is it electronic? No grand piano for me though. Meh. Cockroaches make Prince sad. Oh, I get it. When it’s raining the animals can’t do their laundry because their clothes won’t dry, when it’s sunny it’s too nice a day to stay inside and do laundry. Clever… yet unsanitary really. Then agin, I don’t think any of them wear pants. Cousteau misses Brownie. He also wanted me to change what he said, so I went with the only French swear that came to mind. Oh, and if an animal is angry and goes inside, they remain angry apparently. But leaving and coming back usually cheers them up. Oh no! Tangy did it agin! She done took my Mario trophy and forced me to take her citrus carpet… exactly as I had planned! MWAHAHA!!! My plan was simple: fill my inventory with items that I don’t mind losing, and keep asking animals ‘What’s up?’ until one put me in that situation. Of course, had to deal with Resetti due to Sue E. painting my house pink, and I still bonked Tangy to heck, but other than that, it all worked out for the best. After much of her trying to sell me carpets I was sure I already had, got a music room floor from Saharah. That was waaaaay more effort than it was worth. I wish I could just give 6,000 Bells and she’d just not worry aboot the dang useless carpet. I mean with another 3,000 she could buy any carpet she wanted from Nook anyway!
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June 1, 2003
Since when is a detour arrow stunning? Is it a ravishing shade of red? Redd on the 3rd. Fishing Tourney has Murphy, Sue E., Betty (those last two in a weird brown outfit… a life preserver?), and Prince. That weird center lily pad has a reddish, pinkish hue. Apparently the pond skaters are back. As are the darner dragonflies. Sandy wants to visit another village. Bah. 99 Bells per turnip today from Joan… went with 200. Why does she sound like she’s two different people? Bah, what’s a carp doing here during the Fishing Tourney? I don’t care if they really would be there if this were real life, it’s not, and there are enough exceptions to reality’s rules in this game that only having bass on fishing tourney days should be one too! Chip was willing to take my extra raffle ticket from me, but I decided to keep it anyway. I wonder if he rhymes in Animal Forest + too… It really isn’t worth a skull shirt to have Chip burp in my face. And I shall make no other comments aboot beavers in my face, no Sir. Murphys says his spot’s bad because the ground’s too soft. Hmmmm… guess we need a new dock. Decided to be satisfied at a 27-inch large bass and called it a day. I’ve got my eye on you, Sue E…
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June 2, 2003
Won the fishing tourney, got a exotic from Chip. Nook decided to start the week off at buying at 792 Bells a turnip. Works for me. And, for the first time, Nook wanted to give me more money than I could carry. Luckily, he didn’t just hold off on some of it, but told me to get things in order. Don’t be fooled! He’s just trying to look like a decent guy! He’s still just as evel! EVEL!!! In any case, I hope I don’t get mugged on my way to the Post Office. You know… it shows your town is missing something when its post office is also its bank. So there’s a melon chair and a watermelon chair too? June tickets are a pale bluish-green…didn’t we have that color already? Well I’ll be, seven items in the Lost & Found agin. And the new item is… a pear? Apparently, whatever the heck Sue E. and Betty were wearing was only for the Fishing Tourney. You keep saying that, Tangy, but how aboot you put your money where your mouth is and just try to whale on me! I’ll capsize your boat, Jerky!
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June 3, 2003
Dang mosquitoes everywhere… I guess the bees are worse, but still, at least they only attack when discovered. Bought a rainbow shirt and a blue stripe knit from The Spawn. Wasn’t sure whether I had them or not, and was too lazy to check my catalog. Picked up a Nintendo bench from Nook using a Universal Code that Nintendo apparently specifically designed for Tips and Tricks (June 2003 issue), as well as a white boom box they mooched off of Disney Adventures (Nook shortened it to Disney Adv.) too see if it was any different. Ugh, it’s that same noise, again around Tangy’s house, and I still dunno what it’s from. Sounds more like an old windmill slowly churning rather than an insect. Got a backyard pool from Redd, and for under 4,000 Bells too. Now how do I see Redd in his raffle ticket outfit like on the website (www.animal-crossing.com and my own, since I stole their image and manipulated it) or the Series 4 card? At least I’d assume that’s what sort of outfit it is, it does match Nook’s… though a bit more patriotic really. Maybe he sells illegal fireworks on the Fourth? Yup, same white boom box. Nintendo bench is blue and white, like the parasol, but has the Nintendo logo instead of Kanji and for some reason the web address (www.nintendo.com of course.) Now why is it so hard to sit on? Dial-A-Psychic says to be honest aboot your inner feelings. Seems like good advice to me. There’s that noise agin… and always around ponds… then agin, there are flowers, trees, and rocks in both acres too. Tom wants to know why people often get married in June, despite it being so soon. I thought that maybe it goes back to the superstition aboot rain during a wedding being a bad thing, but maybe I’m putting the chicken before the dinosaur egg there. Lucky said Cupcake thought his clothes were too small. Now it goes against my policy to agree with Cupcake on anything, but in this case I thought if anyone else said it they’d be spewing nonsense as well. Anyway, Lucky was happy and I got a kiddie shirt. The moral? Don’t be greedy, and yes, Cupcake is always wrong. Always. This of course goes back to the I Know Everything rule. Guess I should consider myself lucky that I finished money rock before that mosquito got me. Twiggy shoved an artic camo into my hands. At least she didn’t try to take anything in return.
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June 4, 2003
‘Mom’ is eating ice cream by the gallon, using the heat as an excuse. Poppycock. Bought a modern desk from The Spawn. In my day, even if it was all cloudy and overcast outside in June, we could expect to go to the video game version of summer and see things as sunny! Sunny, I says! All right, same noise by Twiggy’s house… is it her house itself? The noise of the raindrops hitting her house or the pond? WHAT?!?! I told Tangy that I want a shopping mall, so now the game will emit a signal telling the game designers to include it in the sequel… right? Yup, that noise is definitely related to ponds. Gracie on the 6th. I wonder why so many games use button mashing nowadays. Game Boy Camera, Mario Party 2 (though that was two buttons at the same time), I think Mario Party 4, Animal Crossing… even Wario Ware when you get to a certain amount of turns in certain microgames.
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June 5, 2003
Apparently you can catch a frog without it having to rain. And you can of course bonk the larger ones anytime. However, I also managed to catch a killifish… I wonder why they prefer ponds. Maybe their size? Blathers called it adorable, and thought it stuck its tongue out at him. Hey… do fish even have tongues? Ah, there’s Gulliver. Got another Tokyo Tower from him. Twiggy looked pretty upset that I knocked the ball in first. Well, tough. Lot of purchases at Nook ‘N Spawn’s, including captain’s log diary thingy, denim shirt, office chair and weight bench Why’s Prince staying inside so much lately? Is he afraid of Murphy? Or praps me?
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June 6, 2003
‘Mom’ says it’s raining there while it’s not here. Also, ‘she’s wearing a towel. I did NOT need that image in my head!! Is this going to be one of those weeks where I get a letter from ‘her’ every day?!?! Ugh. Gracie says the watermelon shirt is also a remake of the Hyrule collection. Poppycock! Didn’t manage to make Gracie brand this time. I blame Astrid, since she was watching. A good bonking to heck, and I was feeling better. Oh, and attacking Gracie’s car with my golden axe helped a bit too. Hmmmm… same noise around Twiggy’s without the rain. So it has to be during the night, eh? Hmmmm… Got a frog shirt from The Spawn. I swear, I’m getting too much frog interaction lately. Caught a flat stag beetle… looks dangerous. Blathers calls beetles the lugs of the insect world, and he thinks featherless wings in general are unnatural. Why is there more than one firefly in the museum?
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June 7, 2003
Got myself an ugly shirt from the dump. At least they’re honest. And I’d tend to agree with it too. Basically could also be called a dirt clod shirt. Speaking of clods, Prince is attacking my weight agin. Geez, I don’t even eat in the game. And so I learned I can shove him until he gets sad from the confines of his own house. The tents have begun. New music I think, sleeping bag, backpack, cooler, pot, cants, lantern. First up, Aurora. She’s a penguin. She says b-b-baby, which I would have a problem with if not for the wonderful Mathilda… ugh. I don’t think she would have given me a ghost story if I played, but I dropped my items outside her tent first. Hmmmm… never seen the broken heart animation before. Now she wants all of my cash? What is with these animals?!? Have they not heard of altruism? I swear, I’d go around evangelizing, but that’s really not my forte. A happy Gabi is a disturbing sight to behold. As for a happy Tom, wearing my shirt no less… has he been lobotomized? He also says my day is ‘SUPER-GOOD!’ Ummmm… right. Must suffocate that one in his sleep. Just hope I have the strength to get that fountain unbolted. Now why’s Tom imitating Katrina when Saharah’s coming on the 9th? Hmmmmm… all my money, or an item of furniture… time to go to the Lost and Found! First, K.K. though. K.K. Samba is somewhere between Hawaiian and Mambo. Did I just see lightning while it rained? Now why did I miss that before when I listened to him? Odd tune in my stereo though. Has that weird sound that’s kinda like a scream and a squeal… maybe a dog’s bark. Or if humans barked. Or yelped like a dog. Hey, that map’s not right at all Aurora! How’d you get here, anyway? Oh wait… manhole cover=money, not prize. Dang. And so I put my money in my house for the first time in awhile. And of course, now that I have less than 10,000 Bells on me, the last thing on Aurora’s mind is playing a game. Apparently you have to up the stakes at least past that mark. That’s nice.
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June 8, 2003
Lucky’s gone. Dang. 105 Bells for selling the ugly shirt… not bad, considering. It’s confirmed: you can’t take down tents with an axe either. Hey, why do Tangy and Twiggy both have a kiwi shirt? Is it to show they’ve got the same personality? Billy says he’s going to grab life by the horns today. That’s kinda funny really. Fishing Tourney has Sue E., Prince, Cousteau and Nibbles. Looks like there’s a female life jacket and male one. Lucky’s replacement is Sven… didn’t I say something aboot a Sven before? Is he in Hyrule? He says ‘bu-uh-ud’… too close to Pauly Shore. Oh, and he has stew and I don’t so I have decided that I do not like him. Tortimer gave me another angler trophy… I thought I don’t get repeats of this stuff ‘til September 17, 2003… Joan’s selling for 92 Bells, so I got 500.
Came back because I couldn’t count on a 19-inch bass not to be beaten when it was all said and done. Sandy has learned that when it comes to humidity, mind over matter is easier said than done. I wonder… is it just the large bass that is stubborn when it comes to willingness to take the bait if it’s not right in front of it? Maybe it’s just their erratic movements. Wasn’t aboot to risk talking to Tangy with a full inventory. Bah, 19 inches agin. The strange triangle of fishing, according to Mayor (for now) Tortimer: bass, dace and mayors… senility is grounds for removal from office, right? Oh, and the tent’s gone. Meh, wasn’t worth it anyway. Some more will prolly pop up. Bribed Chip with an old can… oh fine, so I used him to get rid of it. I just wanted to see if I had to pay a fine, that’s all… he was so happy to take it, too. Fishing+mosquitoes=bites. Heck, talking+mosquitoes=bites. Killifish apparently live in rivers, too. Now you can blame the camera for Chip being browner in the picture, plus the effects of aging… but why did he suddenly develop a white belly? Had much difficulty after Sue E. topped me with a 24-incher… I loathe that Sue E. Anyways, I went back to my old plan of bribing Chip with non-bass. What’s a tempura? Yup, it worked, 26 inches. Hey, don’t give me that look! You have to use every resource you have, no matter how underhanded, in the battle against scum like Sue E.! Too bad I can’t get her upset by bonking her when she’s fishing. Then agin, she doesn’t exactly interrupt me by goading me on either…
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June 9, 2003
Won the fishing tourney, got a covered wagon. You know, I don’t think I’ve got that one yet. Gots me an angelfish… why was it pointing upwards instead of to the side when I pulled it out? I think Sven is a Prince clone. Blathers describes angelfish as gorgeous, but I think he was just setting himself up to say that they’re heavenly. Apparently I’m down to my last eight types of fish to catch. Seven types of insects too. Apparently Blathers doesn’t wake up on his own until at least 6. Got a sidewalk from Saharah. Keeping the kiddie carpet was a hassle, but it was worth it in the long run. Welly says things are screwed up agin. Sue E. was in too good of a mood for my tastes, so I bonked her to heck. Nook’s buying turnips for 96 Bells, so I think I’ll hold off on selling.
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June 10, 2003
‘Mom’ still doesn’t like brussels sprouts. Why am I getting repeats and doubles already?!? You’d think I could avoid that for at least a year, but noooo… first K.K., then Chip, now ‘Mom’! Got a lovely stereo from a scavenger hunt… really should be an oxymoron, shouldn’t it? 102 Bells a turnip today… bah. I think maybe that noise around the ponds has more to do with evenings than it raining… did I say that already? Met Gulliver… not ANOTHER tribal mask! I don’t care anymore that he never flinches, I’m bonking him to heck! He’s holding back on me and he knows it! 10,000 Bells from the shiny spot today. You know, I need to give the Able Sisters something new. The animals have reached enough fashion stagnation that my old shirt’s starting to be popular agin. Billy got upset because I wouldn’t do an errand that involves traveling to Hyrule to see T-Bone. Yeah, well poo on him. I just wanted some dang stationary. What’s he going to give me as my reward, Punch-Out!!? …I’ll try it next time it’s offered. Tangy became a living commercial for the Fishing Tourney today. Meh. Why does Sven not think cherries grow around these parts when there’s a cherry tree that I shook some of the fruit off of earlier and has since regrown right next to his house?!? I ain’t aboot to do a delivery if I have to deal with a ‘you could use the exercise’ crack, I’ll tell you that! Anyway, when I finally got the stationary, I used it to ‘boot’ Mathilda (in a rather blunt tone I might add), did aboot the same to Sue E., mentioning she should go back to the puddle of mud from whence she came, and gave Sven a little welcoming present in the form of an old can, telling him I’m glad he’s not a Baabara and establishing myself as the future mayor.
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June 11, 2003
Is it just me or does Tom look more like he’s wearing a skirt than a shirt? Gracie tamarra. Time to show her I’ve still got what it takes to wash her stupid, ugly car. Tangy says she’s a model as well as a fashion designer. Meh, I guess she’s got that tall thing going for her… plus a well-defined neck. I swear, it’d be nice to have a logical explanation for why the pond makes that noise at night. Nook’s buying for 736 Bells a turnip… time to sell! 10,000 Bells from the shiny spot agin, so I guess today’s the day for making money, or something. Apparently a fish that’s nibbling on your hook will disappear if it falls off a waterfall. At least, it wasn’t biting after I recast at the bottom, and I didn’t see it. I still have no idea what sort of bird Sandy’s sposed to be. A vulture? A turkey? What?
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June 12, 2003
Yup, there’s the lightning and heavy rain of June… why June in particular I dunno. And yes, I’m still hearing that sound by the ponds. ‘Mom’ got me a Papa bear. Well I guess it’s the thought that counts…. AND I THINK I’M A BIT SICK OF ‘HER’ POINTLESS LETTERS!! Sue E.’s complaining aboot everything in her life. Excellent. Apparently mosquitoes can still fly in heavy rain. Sven gave me a nice flowery shirt. Got some birch flooring from The Spawn. Twiggy hates the rain, and I agreed with her on the issue. Still, the lightning and thunder is a nice touch, even if you can’t actually see the bolts. Tangy got a new umbrella… I didn’t know animals did that. Found Gracie, she said her clothes choose their owners or something. Anyways, screwed up agin. Why does this always happen when there’s an animal watching? And it was Tom too, and I like Tom! Maybe I just need sleep and more sugar in my diet. Still, a minute of bonking her large head and attacking her stupid, sparkling-but-not-shimmering car with my golden axe, and I was feeling better. You know, maybe I should stop wearing her clothes. She’s right, they don’t look good on me, but it’s not because of me of course… she looks like crud too. And so the Luigi posing shirt is back in style, baby! Murphy got upset for the same reason as Billy: wanted me to take something over to T-Bone. Did he really move to Hyrule or just disappear off the map completely? Maybe he’s planning to set up a tent soon?
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June 13, 2003
Well, it’s Graduation Day, and you know what that means… yeah, me neither. I swear, for the official Animal Crossing Graduation Day to be on Friday the 13th as well… just don’t make much sense if you ask me. ‘Mom’s still sending me reruns. The Spawn are selling the fine painting agin? Bought a tropical shirt from them, even though there are plenty of others that look more tropical. They were also selling a polar fleece… haven’t they ever heard of supply and demand? Shitton’s back to perfect and I dunno why. Tortimer says I look a little more grown-up than I did before… I guess I do look a bit taller than him than usual. Tortimer gave me a tailor model, with the logic that now that I’m an honorary graduate (which in Shitton means you go out into the world, not head off to college), I should get some nice-looking duds… so I can get a job. Didn’t I have a job when I first got here, or was that just slave labor? Meh, whatever. Oh, and he says I can use him as a recommendation. That should look good on résumé to Nintendo of America, right? When sunny weather in a video game makes you happy, is that a bad thing? Can I add that piece of info to my résumé? Fact: an animal that doesn’t talk to you while next to the money rock can make you not hit that rock until he/she moves. Fact: you can tell it’s a money rock if you can’t hit it while that neighbor is next to it. Fact: Sue E. got bonked to heck, and I’d do it agin. Oh, and she doesn’t like talking to me either. Redd on the 15th. Yay! Did I mention you can catch frogs in the daytime too? Gots me a giant snakehead… no comment. Blathers called it ‘stupendous beast’ of whom ‘great effort’ must have been taken to land. Yup, it’ll leave you a bit winded usually. Oh, and they carry parasites… I think I know what I’m giving to Wendell next time. Oh, and Blathers hates parasites too.
Took a trip to the island for the first time in awhile. Flash was both crushed by my abandonment of him and intrigued by what he sees as his attempt to get him to pay attention to me. He ummmm… he should talk to Kapp’n one of these days. Rearranged the island house. Dang, I forgot how many Pitfalls I have. I forget if Kapp’n told me his father went mad before or not. Sue E. also interfered with me catching a bug, so a bonking I went. I hope she gets a concussion… then a terminal illness… then a quick but very painful death… then her grave gets robbed. Yeah, that’d be nice.
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June 14, 2003
New tent today. Some bird with Sandy’s model named Queenie. I’m not sure, but I think she’s a Baabara clone. Ugh, and she also calls me chicken. Stop hiding behind that tent and put up yer dukes! Got Señor K.K. from Slider… kinda started off like the song to a bullfight, then got more upbeat. Sounds more like the Mexican hat dance on my stereo though. Bought a dazed shirt and a moldy shirt from The Spawn. First of all, why am I getting all the bad shirts now, and more importantly, why do such shirts exist?!?! Can’t say I can complain too much when I decided to wear my moldy shirt with pride though. Besides, 50 Bells isn’t that bad. Found a Pitfall in F-2… who did it this time, and where am I going to put this thing?!?! Ugh, and to think some people use to trade these… The center lily pad seems greener than before, but maybe that’s just because it’s dark out. Queenie thinks there’s a Mt. Shitton. Well, there should be! Hey wait… have I heard this song somewhere before, or was that just the last tent? Meh, oh well. Won a detour arrow from her in another random game. Yay?
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June 15, 2003
‘Dad’ claims to forget how old I am and the day of my birth. Silly imposter, even I don’t remember the exact day. Shouldn’t someone have moved out by now? Then agin, Sven is pretty new… Sandy was the one who planted the Pitfall. And I was thinking of taking down the signs by her house too… Ah, finally, some stationary at the dump. Tortimer gave me a locomotive model for Father’s Day. I ummm… kinda forgot missed that it’s celebrated in Animal Crossing on my calendar… oh well, no harm done. Hmmmm… no wonder it was ‘Dad’ who wrote me instead of ‘Mom’. Tortimer calls me a good kid (what a fool) and suggests I call ‘my father’ on days other than Father’s Day. ‘My dad’ works for Dial-A-Psychic now? Anyways, enough quotes. Yup, lily pad looks like the same color in broad daylight. Or is the center one a lily and the rest are pads? Hmmmm… Bah, Sue E. is always trying to show me up at fishing. Why would she go away and die already? Oh, great, Mathilda’s there too… at least I like Prince. Now should I see Redd later on today or just go early tomorrow as well? And what happened to all the fossils? It’s like… they’re just gone. Just… gone. …YES!!! Oh wait, there’s one. Dang. The barred knifejaws are back in Shitton, or something. Odd looking little creatures really. Joan went with 126 Bells a turnip, so I decided to just go with 100. Cupcake helped me find a spider, but I still hate her guts. Gave up on trying to beat my record of 23 inches after even bribing Chip with two carp didn’t work. Bah, I hate these fishing tourneys. And he’s still burping in my face… bah, and Dial-A-Psychic says I should respect the elderly… at least I think that’s what it said. Won a round cactus from the tent. Meh.
Came back and found that Mathilda had beat me. My bribe didn’t work agin, but soon enough, I beat her by one inch. Also got another boot, so I ended up sending a letter to Cupcake telling her not to litter and attaching it with it. Yeah, I know, weak excuse, but it’s aboot time I did something mean to her.
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June 16, 2003
Thunderstorms can happen during the day too apparently. Chip gave me a cement mixer. Meh, not bad. I think you can still hear thunder from inside Nookington’s, but I’m not sure. Bought a calligraphy pad from Nook. Man, those things are expensive. FINALLY! A G LOGO SHIRT!! Heh heh, 128 Bells, cute. 117 Bells a turnip today, so I shall hold off on selling. Tom threatened to release the hounds on me. ‘Tis a brave cat that can tame and keep multiple dogs designed to frighten off intruders and unwanted guests… or he could just be bluffing. Finally sent out the passwords I got from my Series 4 E-reader cards… all except Tommy’s of course, can’t risk that when the mail gets delivered after I save. Also sent them the excess trash I got while fishing… as an experiment, of course. The tent’s gone, replaced by Redd’s big shop. Bougth a dice stereo from Redd. Thought I already had it, but didn’t see it anywhere in my catalog.
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June 17, 2003
You know, it’s been a pretty long time since I stayed up late in Animal Crossing. Don’t ask why I mention that. Got a wave print from the dump. Pretty nice really, it looks right-side up on my head and as a shirt. Got Sandy a fish, now she plans to call it Sigmund Fish and tell it all of her problems. I should call her Sigmund Sandy just because of how scewed up she is. Wendell on the 19th, and Tom’s still trying to trade me stuff. Meh.
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June 18, 2003
Hambo thinks of me as his biggest fan. Blah. Huggy can play conga. So are most conga lines accompanied by the sound of the conga drum, or do they both refer to something else? Praps a location? People are telling Prince he looks like a hippie. Heck, I didn’t even realize that was a beard ‘til later. Maybe I missed him when his eyes were bloodshot and he was wearing an ugly shirt, I dunno. Anyways, not all that interesting items of furniture received. Tom left town… dang, I liked him. He’s been replaced by Spike. Aye, Spike, a rhinoceros with a scar on his…part of his face that juts out who calls me ‘punk’. There’s a bonking right there. Oh, and a band-aid on the other side of his face. 92 Bells a turnip from Nook today. Bah. House looks like a construction scene though, that’s pretty coo.
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June 19, 2003
Gots me another pack of Series 4 E-reader cards. Got Woolio, Alli, my old pal Aziz (he wasn’t that great, but certainly better than some of the other neighbors I’ve had/have), Wisp (yay!) and Boy (8), with ‘Who’s Dunnit’ minigame. It seems to go one step further from K.K. Song and fully duplicate the ‘I’m a Little Teapot’ thingy heard when you click the O and it explodes at the intro to Mario Paint. Come now, there must be someone out there who wants an update to that software as much as I do. Anyways, it’s got Booker going on aboot scary mail being sent. Oh no! Anyways, looks like the sort of game that would work better if I had more cards, since two clues in and I don’t have anyone matching the description.
Thunderstorms agin today. Woolio sends a billard table, and wants to be counted in for something. Got a snowy tree model from Wisp, very coo. Too bad you can’t reorder the dang thing. Oh, and apparently spirits can be slippery. Must be the ectospasm. Alli lies to the mayor, so I think I like her. 81 Bells a turnip from Nook today. I’ve really got to find a way to bonk him. I think the lightning is reflecting off the items on the second floor of Nook’s, but agin, hard to tell. Having so many Twiggy clones around sure makes conversations boring around here. Oh, and Tangy wants me to catch a cold, so I bonked her. Got a garden wall from Wendell. He’s so easy to please… stupid Saharah. Got a whirly shirt from the dump. Weird design.
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June 20, 2003
8 o’clock, and they all run inside whenever I’m nearby. Meh, I don’t like them either. Don’t you just hate it when you’re fishing and the first just refuses to take the bait, then quickly nabs it and runs off? And then I get yet another boot. Lovely. 73 Bells for turnips. This is ridiculous. Makes me remember why I was so reluctant to enter the turnip business in the first place. I mean come on, NOOK CONTROLS THE PRICES!! He may be stupid sometimes, but he is not looking out for our own well-being. I mean come on, the guy’s creating little clones of himself! He’s like a virus that multiplies once it has the proper conditions in which to do so. Looks like he’ll have a sale soon in any case. At least I get a balloon if I’m around. Oh, and Nibbles planted a Pitfall in the E acres according to her post on the bulletin board, so I should make a note both to look out for it and bonk her good.
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June 21, 2003
Nook’s sale’s at 4 pm tamarra. Yup, you can definitely see lightning through the windows during a storm. Quite coo really. Couldn’t think of any songs to request from K.K., so he helped me out and gave me Soulful K.K. Sounds… melancholy really. On the stereo, it sounds kinda like this one song that I’d rather forget. Stupid public education. 61 Bells a turnip today. DANG YOU NOOK, YOU ‘COON-HEADED… JERKYFACE!!! If only I had an uncensored version of this diary… Bought three out of five shirts from The Spawn today since I was pretty sure they weren’t in my catalog, and I did check with one of them. Yeah, I know, it’s stupid to give Nook so much money after he ripped me off so badly, but I guess my need for vengeance has faded and my desire to complete my sets has increased. Tangy got upset when I didn’t take her shirts, agin thinking I was insulting her fashion sense, so I got fed up and bonked her good. People, I implore you, will someone tell me what a grody cold is and whether it’s worse than a regular one?
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June 22, 2003
Dang, I’m really getting sick of the Fishing Tourneys. This is the last one this summer, right? AND THE LIL’ BRO’S SHIRT IS MINE!!! And I was thinking of not going to Nook’s before the sale, too… 122 Bells per turnip from Joan… bah, I’ll take my chances with 100 agin. Except then I accidentally bought 10, then another 50, but I couldn’t combine them… ugh. My 21 incher beat Twiggy’s 8-incher, but I knew I’d have to come back. Still managed to upgrade it to 23 inches before I left though. Billy, Cousteau, and Sue E. were also around. How I loathe Sue E… I may be a loony, Spike, but that’s exactly why you shouldn’t get me upset. Now you see? Upset a loony and get a bonking! Mwahaha! Tangy says I’m incompatible with rain. Poppycock!
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June 23, 2003
Always with the rain… Billy pulled ahead of me in the Fishing Tourney. That’s a bonking. Bah, why are the animals always trying to deny me of the glory that is rightfully mine, huh? 128 Bells a turnip today from Nook. I’ll ummmm… hold off. Not that I’d make much money anyway, but I sometimes like taking risks. Bought myself a chalkboard, even though it said ‘Social Study’. What, are you saying I’m not intelligent enough to handle a class called History, that you have to build me up to it? Am I going to learn the basic concepts of sociology too, is that it? Also bought a loud line shirt from The Spawn. Well I don’t hear anything… this is where you boo and throw old vegetables at me. Now why aren’t the big bro’s shirt and li’l bro’s shirt next to each other in my catalog? At least they’ve got the same price. So they write dialogue for Tangy… aboot how she hates how it’s always raining… why don’t they just go up to the freakin’ programmers and tell them not to make it rain so much in June, huh?!?! Gracie on the 25th… I’m going to need some caffeine. Remember, kids, illegal parking is NOT a joke! You could be illegally parked somewhere when your best friend runs up to you and then BAM! has his head knocked off by your side-view mirror! All because you didn’t park in a designated area! Wait… what was I talking aboot agin? Oh yeah, ummm… don’t do drugs, caffeine kills and is more dangerous than you think, and a sugar buzz is NOT the answer! Got a cabin bed from a floating present. Meh. Apparently ordering an item from the catalog at Nookington’s gets you the phrase “Nookington’s looks forward to meeting all of your future home-décor needs.” and an address to the Animal Crossing website (www.animal-crossing.com.) Weird.
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June 24, 2003
Prince changed out of my shirt. Meh. 135 Bells a turnip from Nook today. Meh, forget it, I’m selling, I’m sick of carrying these things around. Bought myself a hippie shirt. I guess it’s sorta hippie-ish… also bought a plaza wall and some cabana flooring… I really don’t have many walls and floors, do I? Had to make a quick trip to the island for storage (I’m even out of rooms with my collection of letters now.) I guess I’ll have to start selling duplicate gyroids soon. Ugh, that’s going to take awhile, what with the sorting. He’s got a stereo with K.K. Fusion and wants my moldy shirt… yup, he’s still completely bonkers. Sue E. makes Sandy sad, Sue E. gets a bonking. Heck, Sue E. blinks the wrong way, Sue E. gets a bonking.
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June 25, 2003
Ah, a fireworks festival starts at 7 pm on the Fourth. Excellent… too bad you can only see their reflections… wait, how are they going to do it at the station? Gracie called the li’l bro’s shirt hideous… she will die. Oh yes, somehow, in some horrible fashion, she will die, begging for an end to her cruel existence! Well, Sue E. was there, and I was tired, and my arms weren’t in the best of shape (no comment), but I still pulled off a perfect job, so nyah! Ew, a cow print? Bah, she wouldn’t know fashion if it hit her with a brick… I hope it does, too. Some chops of my axe to her car, a few bonks to her head from my net, and I was good to go. Ugh, I really need some more room, and fast. Nothing from Nook or The Spawn… that’s kind of odd nowadays. Must be that the new stuff for summer is running out. You know it’s odd… I’ve got the E-reader version of Ice Climber, and a superior version of Mario Bros. that came with Super Mario Advance 1 (already had the Super Nintendo versions and didn’t see enough changes to justify purchasing the others), but I’d still kill to get those two games in Animal Crossing. I guess I just want the pride of saying that I have them… or I’m bloodthirsty, I dunno.
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June 26, 2003
Now Murphy’s wearing my shirt? What’s up with that? Well, my HRA rating dropped below 80,000, but at least now I have a bit more room. But ugh, more rain=more gyroids=less room. Sure, Twiggy, it’s fun to push the ball into the pond the first 100 or so times… but I mean, come on! Nothing from Nook or The Spawn agin. Why is it when I pull weeds, I pull their shadows with them? Saharah on the 28th. At least it’s not on the 30th, I really hated that. I really gotta show that Spike that he needs to show just a little bit of respect… well it looks like he can stand physical pain, so I guess I’ll go with attacking him on an emotional level.
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June 27, 2003
Prince tried to sell me a shirt for over 2,000 Bells… can’t think of anything that’d be worth that to me at this point. Oh, and Sven’s a Prince clone as well it turns out. Murphy looks so naked in my outfit for some reason. I really should send away these fossils, especially since I’m so low on places to put things now. You know… the li’l bro’s shirt seems so much more natural on me than other shirts… like it belongs there or something. Shitton got messed up agin, according to Welly. Wasn’t I sposed to see another tent by now? Gyroids everywhere today, but I finally found my third fossil. Don’t you just hate it when you miss catching a really large fish just because you pressed A too soon? I swear, I’d have better and faster reflexes if this game would stop boring me… what this town needs is a murder mystery. Also sent Sven a boot with the words ‘Shut up and eat it.’ Still, the day that I must go through all my gyroids draws ever closer…
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June 28, 2003
Two torsos of triceratops in my mail today… why do I keep having duplicates? It can’t just be coincidence… Spike’s gone, Twirp’s in… I’ve got a feeling they wouldn’t have gotten along. Call it a hunch if you will. Lots of furniture shaped like stuff at Nook’s today… fruits and plants to be more specific. You know… it’s pretty obvious K.K.’s paw can’t reach the guitar strings… or maybe he’s just that dang good. Listened to Go K.K. Rider! (don’t forget the exclamation point when requesting it of course… Slider’s a bit dim.) Some have suggested it sounds like a racing title, but it seems better suited for a video game western level… like the one in Timesplitters 2. Though it also would make a decent ending theme. The version on my stereo has a countdown, so obviously it is racing inspired. Also sounds more techno there, maybe could pass as F-Zero meets western. I wonder… is it cruel to throw a fish back in when you pulled it up from a cliff? Twirp is some red bird with blue ‘hair’, and seems to be a Gaston clone. Meh, could be worse. His catchphrase is ‘CHIRP’. And I spose another animal just goes ‘chirp’, right? Ugh, lazy, uncreative bums, all of them. His house is designed like a sports center… and also has Go K.K. Rider! Weird. Twiggy says 13% chance of rain tamarra. I wonder if there’s any truth to that… New tent today, occupied by someone named Jeremiah… judging by the puffiness of his face, I’d say he could be a bullfrog… but of course, being a tent animal, it is unlikely that he will ever be remembered as a good friend of mine. He’s met Wisp apparently though. Does the waterfall always make a noise, or just when it’s raining? Lotta drone beetles out tonight… the queen must have died or something. Oh come now, admit it, that was a better joke than the one you hear when you catch one, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it? At least they waited to have stationary be the second item I get running errands and don’t rub it in my face… Tangy gives a 98% forecast, with the ‘I’m almost always wrong’ clause. Meh, I’d still trust her prediction over Twiggy’s. Oh, and Nibbles says it’s 0%, but I’ve got no reason to trust her. I mean come on, her ‘umbrella’ goes right though the stone plateau! Nope, nothing if I hit it with my golden shovel or net. At least she gave me enough money from the errand to buy the shanty mat to trade with Saharah. Got a lunar surface for my troubles. Certainly could have been worse. My front lawn may be littered with gyroids now, but meh, I’m still too lazy. Got my koopa shell from Nintendo Power. It makes a kicking noise when you tap A by it. Feh.
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June 29, 2003
Well I’ll be darned, there is another Fishing Tourney after all. Better win it this time. Awwww… look at the rainbow over the waterfall. Bought a loud bloom shirt from The Spawn. Twirp seems to be the only one who cares that I come into people’s houses unannounced… I think I like him. Sometimes you just gotta catch a robust cicada just to shut ‘em up. Katrina on July 1st. Meh. Already sending a batch of fossils off… that’s a bad sign really. Currently in the fishing tourney is new arch-rival Billy, Sven, Prince and Tangy. I swear, if Tangy beats me… 93 Bells a turnip today from Joan, so I bought 510… stupid pressing the A button just a little too soon and having to buy that extra 10. I gave Cousteau a ball, he noticed it even before I got back there. Got a ranch tea table for my troubles. Managed to track down a present after I saw its shadow while talking to Chip, but it was another lilypad table. Oh well. So I come back from buying turnips from Joan and who do I bump into on my way home? That’s right, Joan. Stupid teleportation powers that I don’t have. Or maybe she has a twin sister who pretends to be here… or maybe Joan is a name assigned to all members of a warthog cult who arrive at towns each Sunday to sell their turnips for some dastardly purpose… guess one of them got confused on which one she was assigned to then. Chip says giant snakeheads are delicious as pate… I think he repeats his phrases for some of them. Then agin, he did mention that they sometimes have worms, and Blathers confirmed this previously. May he get sick and die then, his laughing and burps bother me. Bah, 26 inches is good enough, I’m bored.
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June 30, 2003
Ha! The final Fishing Tourney prize is mine anyway! Mine! Take that, Billy, you foolish goat of a goat, you! Bonked him anyway to drive the point home that I’m better than him. Today’s raffle drawing includes a white… queen, I think, a hamster cage, complete with hamster running on his little wheel, and a NES game. Only ended up with the hamster cage though. Bummer. That cover… doesn’t exactly look like Punch-Out!! though. Something Donkey Kong-related maybe. Oh wait, here’s some more raffle tickets… yup, DK Jr. Math for the 1,000th time. I swear, if we don’t get some good Universal Codes or code generators at Camp Hyrule… UGH! Someone threw a perfectly good li’l bro’s shirt right in the dump! Those wasteful jerks! That’s it, this is going to Flash. Huh, a thunderstorm on the island… have I seen that before or not? Gave Flash my amber for 2,750 Bells… meh, at least his house won’t look so empty for the moment. However, he gave me back my blue bench before I could persuade him to take the shirt, so I decided to try agin later. Tangy wants a heated pool… can’t say I blame her. Caught an evening cicada, which make a sad sound… how is that funny? And it’s still 4 o’ clockish! Blathers has to say he’s not particularly fond of insects every time you present one… must be a pretty strong urge. He mentions something aboot tanna japonesis, or the higurashi cicada. Oh, I get it… its song really is mournful. I’m… assuming this one is Japanese in origin, yes?
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July 1, 2003
The bulletin board says the thunder storms (which I’m currently experiencing) shall end ‘on or around’ July 16th. Hmmmm… now how do they get so accurate? Hey… is dark blue the color of Nintendo or the GameCube in Japan or what? 103 Bells a turnip today… meh, I’ll wait. Bought myself a plaza tile… I swear that I already have that, but the catalog says no. The July ticket seems to be a bluish green… hard to tell. Shitton’s back to perfect and I dunno why… maybe cuz I dug up those flowers by the police station? Prince wants to lie back on the boat and let his fingers dangle in the water… is that what he’s calling those? Dial-A-Psychic calls haunted houses nothing but trouble on a date… I dunno, I can think of some advantages to it. I need space, Billy took a perfect month of fishing tourneys away from me, therefore Billy gets a Pitfall by his house. And he just ran right into it too… nah, I’d better not talk to him, better to just let him sit there in that hole and think… while getting bonked mercilessly.
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July 2, 2003
A cow skull may be stunning, Nook, but not for the reasons you seem to think it is. I hate it when I know there’s a scavenger hunt item in a specific acre, but a. I dunno if it’s a Pitfall or not, and b. it seems to be behind a dang tree. Bought a sunflower from The Spawn since I couldn’t find it in my catalog. 110 Bells a turnip… meh, I’ll still wait. Katrina says that up on a rooftop, a cheeky little off-duty cop will be yelling loudly. Let’s see… Booker’s not the type to yell, more mutter, while Copper’s not all that cheeky really. She says it means I’ll be busy in the next few days. Busy? And that it will rule me… what is she, a professional wrestler? Okay, Cupcake is worried I’m mad at her and is following me around… great. See, the fireworks festival celebrates the independence and freedom… of having a train station. Roight… and apparently they sell stuff at the stands then. Oh, and Tangy’s infatuated with me. Meh, don’t see a problem with that. Maybe I’ll send her a letter before this ends, I dunno. Hey, maybe this will help my campaign for mayor! …nah. Started organizing gyroids on my front lawn based on their descriptors (tall, mega, squat), and freed up some room in my collection of letters. From there, I was ready to scan the new set of Animal Crossing-E cards Cokes gave me as an early birthday present, two of Series 1 and two of Series 4 (Thanks agin, babe!) Also tried the two new town tune cards I got. Decided I’d go with Mr. K.K. for now, though neither of them were all that impressive. Weird card cover for the Mr. K.K. tune by the way, what with the school uniforms and sailor suits for the female animals. And why do they torment me by pretending I could have joined the Sports Fair?!?! Scanned in cards from Mabel Able, K.K. Slider, and O’Hare, who I think is an islander. Sure did get a lot of duplicates though: one Cheri in each Series 1 and both an Astrid (blah) and a Bessie in each Series 4! I mean come on, what are the odds unless they’re snot making these random and even enough?!? Apparently K.K. doesn’t want to be a star… well I guess he can survive on fruit while traveling from town to town, or something… which he does all in one night… what is he, Santa Claus? Nothing interesting in terms of items, ‘cept the Redd exclusive computer from O’Hare I guess. Also got design cards of “Jumpman” Mario (whoever wrote the description for what could not be anything but small Super Mario Bros. Mario should prolly seek some other line of work) and the Li’l Miser Shirt (Wario logo shirt), but didn’t feel like adding them in just yet. Why does downloading the Animal Crossing card-scanning program always get automatically saved? Is it not possible that I’d rather download it agin tamarra rather than have re-scan in Ice Climber later on? Five cards may not be much, but it’s still more of a hassle than just waiting for it to load from the GameCube.
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July 3, 2003
Can someone read through these things and tell me if I ever did actually pick up a pack of Series 3 AC-E cards? I can’t seem to find them… Sale at 5 pm tamarra. Great, now I’ve got to make two trips. 74 Bells a turnip from Nook today. Methinks that’s a bad sign… Bought a mosaic shirt from The Spawn… now how the bloody heck do you justify a mosaic shirt, huh? Heck, the entire mosaic set was on sale, unless there’s anything other than the tile, wall, and shirt. So many animals indoors around lunchtime… Looks like the blessing of Katrina’s fortune is over too… dang. I don’t care how many animals I make mad, muscle cramps are NOT a good thing!
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July 4, 2003
And the sale item is… an exotic chair? Well, at least I got a blue balloon this time. Had to ask The Spawn this time, but turnips are 744 Bells?!?! WHOO!!! I came in at the last possible moment before they were going to close, and I had to sell them my balloon and my lovely stringfish (plus turn my extra li’l bro’s shirt into a password for a random person), but I managed to get all the money and get out of there. Anyways, I’m a 6 millionaire now. Got a dazed shirt from the dump. It certainly… is something.
THERE HE IS!!! RAFFLE REDD!!! Oh, I should have known, what with the red, white and blue scheme... anyways, he was selling fans Aww, look at how content my character is… Betty, Sven, and Cousteau were watching the fireworks. Oh, and Sue E. Blah Stil, they really look like they’re exploding above and are reflections, rather than just appearing on the water. Tangy likes how you can use the control stick with old NES games. Meh, I guess it helps for some GBA games and the Game Boy Player. Tortimer says the fireworks festival commemorates the day the train first stopped here. Sure… Something aboot being free to travel to other towns, or something. Why fireworks though, huh? Anyways, I got an unlightable bottle rocket. Bummer. Now you can’t tell me there’s an American connection between fans and fireworks… except for the summer thing… but still. I’m guessing the items were left over from some Japanese holiday. I mean they’ve got the Japanese flag on what they call the ‘fan fan’. Now why are they 780 Bells and not like 740 Bells? Anyways, I cleaned Redd right out of fans, just ‘cause I’m that much of a fanatic for such things. Oh, and apparently you can reorder them, so they shouldn’t take up too much room (but since when are some items more expensive to reorder from Nook than buy from Redd, huh? That’s just not right.)
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July 5, 2003,br>
Well at least my HRA rating is over 80,000 agin. Someone’s complaining aboot not being able to see fireworks on the bulletin board. I’m assuming (and hoping) it’s Nook or his spawn, but it could just as easily have been Copper (though he could prolly get a glimpse of them if he turned his head), Pelly, Pete, the other one, Blathers, an Able Sister, or even the ever shy Booker. Got Twiggy to change from saying cheepers already… don’t think I can say what I got her to say instead, sorry. There’s a thunderstorm around us, and Tangy complains of heat? At least Twirp knows the situation I guess… kinda a stupid name by comparison though. Gracie on the 7th. Requested Comrade K.K. from Slider, mostly ‘cause I forgot it was a real song… oh well, at least it’s not a repeat, and kinda catchy, even if it doesn’t sound all that much like what a silly American would call a Russian song. Almost sounds Yiddish in my stereo, though yeah, there is a hint of Tetris there. Not sure if I mean the Tecmo or Nintendo version by that though.
July 6, 2003
Nook’s is boring me agin. I should prolly catch up on scavenger hunts sometime. At least I got the ivory piano from today. Twiggy’s new catchphrase cracks me up and I dunno why. Maybe I’m thinking aboot how confused someone who doesn’t know much aboot this game would react upon seeing it. Why are Cupcake and Mathilda still in my town? Apparently you can spell ‘feh’ with a ph, according to Twirp’s dialogue. Not sure what upset him though. Bonked him to heck ‘cause he told me to shut up. Then I happily fanned myself. You know, now that I think aboot it, Go K.K. Rider is a bit like the Rocky song, or that Eye of the Tiger song maybe. The pill bug went into the water and I dunno why. Tangy also gets a single bonk for teasing me aboot furniture. Blasted cicadas with their non-shutting up. Was able to identify my first duplicate gyroid, so I promply sold it to Nook. Decided that if Joan can’t be bothered to be in a convenient and easily found location, I can’t be bothered to buy turnips, so there.
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July 7, 2003
‘Dad’ says ‘he’ took ‘Mom’ to the amusement park. That’s kinda cute really, and I dunno why. Still, I didn’t need to hear aboot it or have it take up room in my mailbox. Sven is getting letters from the Happy Vagabond… apparently that word has some connection to wandering from town to town, but I’m not sure how. You know something’s screwy aboot this game when the animals compliment you on your reading skills though. Apparently you have to pull back from fishing if you get bit by a mosquito. I swear, why doesn’t Nook sell repellant? Makes sense to me. Ugh, they’re everywhere tonight. Hope my character doesn’t get video game malaria, would hate to have to replace him. Bought a ruby econo-chair from the Spawn. Do they sell a sapphire one? Yes yes, proceed with your chucking of rotten fruits and vegetables at my person. Managed to pull off perfection with Gracie agin, so I gots me a grape shirt. It’s so fruity… like a lot of the outfits I’m getting from her lately. Yes, that was a pretty bad one too. I’m sorry. Caught a sweetfish, so I was treated to an even worse pun in terms of creativity. Blathers says I’ve brought upon the start of summer, or something. Or is it that I have to feed it to Wendell first? Is it just me, or does an eel not quite fit its silhouette underwater?
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July 8, 2003
Twirp’s gone. Dang, I liked him. I knew I should’ve sent a letter. You know, that one drum looks like it’d be better to store wine, or something. My new neighbor is Cesar, a large, black gorilla. And yet he calls me highness… I think I’ll keep him around. Though his appearance makes the question of why monkeys and apes don’t grow beards or moustaches moot. He has K.K. Casbah in his house, which he uses to make his tall gyroids do a mystical jungle dance for his pleasure, or something. The house seems to have an ivory, regal theme to it. Redd on the 10th. Gabi’s weeds got me in trouble with Welly, but meh. Now what happened to all the money rocks? Gave Prince my large bass, just ‘cause I didn’t have anything better to do with it. He gave me an apple, so it wasn’t exactly a fair trade.
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July 9, 2003
Another repeat from ‘Mom’. Different stationary this time though, I think. A mystery animal has buried a Pitfall. Bah. Bonked Twiggy for applauding when I caught a can. Idiot. Shitton’s back to perfect. Meh. After a number of misses, caught a saw stag beetle. Too bad Blathers says the same things for all beetles. Nothing good from Nook or the Spawn. Oh well, at least Redd’s coming tamarra.
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July 10, 2003
Won’t someone please make the rain stop?!?! Prince did offer to do his sunny dance or whatever last night, but I don’t think it’ll work, nor was he serious. I swear, the only reason you bury a Pitfall and not specify even the row of acres it’s in is that you’re trying to be a real jerk. You know, the stately wall looks far more regal than the regal one… or something. You know, a lot of things tend to get Tangy upset. Dunno why I just noticed that. Finally, I was wondering when Gulliver was going to show up already. He gave me a fishing bear… wuzzat? Wanted to get rid of some junk, so I gave Sven a can (since he’s not the one trying to steal away my glory) and di the only method I know that works to keep Prince and Tangy around: I booted them. Ah zut, Shitton Day was the 5th. Why doesn’t anyone tell me these things?!?! The fishing bear is apparently a wooden statue of a bear eating a fish. Bah, now my mood is all ruined.
Heh heh, Gabi said, “I’m sorry! You’re queer! It totally slipped my mind!” Swag… where did that term come from? Well at least number makes things easier for trading (without passwords, I assume) I guess.
July 10, 2003
It’s aboot time I took a trip to Hyrule, yes? If you ask me, Animal Crossing needs more monkeys. Not apes, but like chimps and ones with tails. For Miyamoto’s sake, Rover, do NOT quote Arnold ever, EVER agin! Hey, this killing cockroaches thing isn’t so hard… I wonder if Wisp has to deal with their souls. Had to pull weeds ‘til the cows came home though. In fact, I was pressing the B button so many times my arm began to hurt. Looks like Hyrule’s getting Redd too… and she gets to keep her Tom. Bah. Good ol’ Gaston, runs into his house as soon as I approach him. At least Bea didn’t make too big a deal over not talking in awhile. And thank Miyamoto she’s still around… still wearing my shirt even. Awwww, she still talks aboot queer too. Too bad she also still has Baabara. Hambo and Buck got each other upset. That’s odd, I figured they’d be a perfect match. Bea needs at least 3 hours of sleep each night… that’d certainly make things easier. Ah, at least Hyrule still has some money rocks left. Static thought I was busted for smuggling exotic fruits. That’s against the law, eh? Figures. He saved his letter from queer, even though it was total garbage. Planted an apple tree ‘cause Welly told me to. Sent Bea a letter, but it was nothing new, just not to forget about me. Also gave her a spare fan of mine. Don’t tell me to be good, Rover, you don’t have any control over me and you know it.
Bah, Sue E.’s still wearing that Luigi pattern, prolly to mock me. Anyways, came in as Brownie. Hyrule Day’s on the 16th, must remember to keep that in mind. I think I managed to get rid of the cockroaches after picking up enough furniture. Headed back to Shitton, saw Blanca agin. Tried to make her a tribute to Whistler’s Mother, as recreated by Mr. Bean, but it turned out pretty bad. Meh. She says it looks like I just scribbled something down. FACES DON’T NEED 12 COLORS ALL THE TIME!!! Ungrateful feline. Shitton has Bessie now. Meh. Just kinda perused the town and left. Oh, and I pulled a weed! Yay! And they took Sandy. Well, she was around for awhile, so I’ll miss her, but she was certainly becoming a troublemaker.
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July 11, 2003
Why is Redd telling me he’ll be around on the 12th? Bea thanked me for visiting, asked aboot the weather. Ha, if she only knew. Bessie moved out… even though we’ve never met…. and was replaced by Hambo? What’s going on here?!?! I’m… in the right year, right? Hey, it’s the same one! He said he thought he’d never see me agin! He’s back! THEY CAN COME BACK!!!! Tamarra…. tamarra I go back to Hyrule. Hey, and the money rock’s back to boot! Bought a spiderweb shirt from the Spawn. Meh, I guess it’s an interesting pattern. Been spreading out the collection of peaches on the floor by the peach tree for the heck of it. Pretty good amount of weeds for a town that hasn’t been abandoned in over a month. Apparently, for the animals to ‘go hatch an egg’ relates to a phrase of ours that I don’t think I can utter here. Found that pitfall before it found me. Nibbles was nearby, so I bonked her just in case. Blanca’s Mother was visiting… well I still think it’s a cute face. Took me a lot longer than expected to get it right, too. Yup, Copper confirms that Redd’s on the 12th. I wonder what happened… maybe he only wants to stay for one night and not 24 hours sometimes? Put the pitfall to its proper use… Billy seemed adequately agitated.
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July 12, 2003
Where are all these weeds coming from? My letters confused Tangy and Prince, but luckily Sven pretended to understand rather than complain aboot it. Hambo’s as obsessed with my eyes as Resetti now. Great. Bought a cowhide rug from the Spawn. Blech. New tent out today, some female horse named Ed. Bah, where do all these females named Ed come from? Or maybe it’s a he in drag, it did refer to itself as “The Ultimate Camping Cool Guy” Anyway, it calls me greenhorn. I just don’t get why most of the animals hate Redd but none of them seem to hate Saharah. I mean come on, it’s a complete hassle! Decided to try out creating my Camp Hyrule 2003 pattern, but couldn’t seem to find the right palette for it. So I put the 32x32 image into Anicro Desarpo, and found a surprisingly good match using Palette 11, even if it looks bad from close up. I wonder why Cesar has pointy ears…
Came back to see Redd. Sure does get dark around here fast. Gyroids, gyroids everywhere, but I don’t really care. Got to work on creating my simplified Camp Hyrule design, but not before putting last year’s on a t-shirt at the Able Sister’s. Blah, so hard to tell the difference between colors on the Game Boy Advance. Hey did, I mention that if you’re wearing the pattern you change on a t-shirt, your shirt automatically changes? Mathilda singing by my house=a bonking. Odd how if I get bit by a mosquito, she can run away for a little distance all angry before she yells at me. Found out I had a duplicate mega lullaboid, so I sold it to Nook. Redd has found himself trapped by the signs meant for Sandy. Meh, can’t say I’m sorry aboot that. Found a scary painting there, though I dunno how a traditional sketch of a Japanese man in traditional clothing is scary. Blathers doesn’t understand it either. Sven got sad ‘cause I wouldn’t tell him if I was in his house moving furniture before. Meh, let him be sad. Talked with Blanca’s Mother for a bit. The Toad beside me thought it was a cruel thing for me to do, but agin, meh. Hambo suggested that my favorite color was black, but I turned him down. I’d better watch him…
Interesting how gorillas have separate, moving polygons for their foreheads… Anyways, was gonna request K.K. Casbah from Slider, since Cesar has it and I apparently don’t, but I pressed the wrong button. Does Slider only have the thunderstorm background in the summer? Got K.K. Tango instead, which seemed to fit that quite well. Nothing more, but nothing less. Sounds aboot equally accurate on the stereo, if a little washed-out.
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July 13, 2003
The dump sure does get full by Sunday. 94 Bells a turnip from Joan, who was easy to find, so I bought my usual 500. Oh, so NOW Redd stays overnight, huh? Cousteau’s worrying aboot Brownie. Well sheesh, it’s not like I forced him to move. Still got gyroids everywhere. Nook really should tell his spawn not to leave the sprinkler on while indoors. Oh well. Anyways, bought a plush carpet from them. It’s kinda surprising how many carpets I don’t have yet. Found I had a duplicate mini oomboid, so I sold it to Nook. What is the significance of 828 Bells, anyway? It’s not a Star Wars reference, is it? And why do animals always like to hang around the back of my house? Dang stalkers. Ed sang good morning to me… it must die. I beat her once, she took my money once (good thing I had already invested almost all of it in turnips), and of course it was just a random chance game. So how do I get the exclusive camping items agin? She keeps giving me wallpaper. Is it like two in a row or something?
Why does Gabi only move her mouth for the large syllables? Does she like to mumble or something? Can she not read her lines? Is she proud? What?! Whoa, those gyroids look all angled when the camera switches to Resetti… not that I’m seeing Resetti all that regularly, of course… or ever, mind you. Could I ever see a doctor, or do they all live underground? Missed the tent, but caught an arowana, so meh, forget the tent. Doesn’t look like a golden dragon to me though… just a golden fish. But apparently it’s rare, so Blathers calls me an angler for the ages… and an old bean. Is there some way I can bonk him? What’s a bard agin, anyway? Anyways, the museum’s apparently growing by ‘leaps and bounds’ thanks to generous individuals like myself and… I don’t think queer donated anything, did she? And would a proper museum curator that says eh wot also describe the fish’s new home as its digs? Brownie’s still around, so I laughed at her. I was given the option of apologizing or saying it was fine, so I said it was fine, and she took it as an apology. Bah. Apparently she’s gotten used to the face… somehow. All right, now I’m certain I saw something fly away as I came onto the acre… I thought I read something about that earlier today, but wasn’t that on the island? Saharah’s finally coming agin on the 15th.
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July 14, 2003
Bah, Hambo’s already back to his bloody scavenger hunts. The fact that the tops of trees vanish after you cut them down has become apparent to Twiggy. Soon, they will come for her… poor, oblivious little bird. 65 Bells a turnip from Nook. A bad trend, certainly. Got a fishing knit from the Spawn. I dunno why, but seeing animals on shirts in Animal Crossing always gives me the tiniest tingle of what I think is joy. Now are my eyes playing tricks on me or is there something on the side of that refrigerator? Oh well, guess I should reorder one and find out for myself one day. The Spawn, they crowd around you… always watching you, staring at you… speaking in unison… creepy lil’ buggers, aren’t they? That big ape don’t intimidate me none… I don’t care if he does look like he could bite my head off while ripping my arms off! If you need to find out for yourself that you can’t grow turnip trees, you just may in fact be a Gaston clone. One second Sven’s down on the valley below, the next he’s following me into his house… well I guess goats are sposed to be good jumpers. Anyway, he claims his stuff is held down by superglue… must have had a lot of problems with robberies in the early days of Shitton or something. Which makes me wonder… why are me, the Spawn, and the joeys of whatever kangaroo decides to make its home here the only young’uns to ever walk into Shitton, let alone live there? Oh, and queer, can’t forget queer.
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July 15, 2003
Needed some room, so I buried a Pitfall by Mathilda’s, but Hambo fell in instead. Oh well, maybe next time. 69 Bells for turnips today from Nook. Very funny. Twiggy thinks Brownie was selling turnips… I guess you could advertise here and keep them in your gyroid back in the other town, or something. Now how did I get another arowana already? Nook’s willing to give me 10,000 Bells for it… meh. Why does the mosquito ignore Billy and go straight for me? Maybe I’m just much tastier, I dunno. Got office flooring from Saharah. Good thing I saved a carpet for when she comes. Blanca’s still around… I should prolly visit Hyrule, just to put her out of her misery. Took a bunch of tries, but I gots me a mountain stag beetle. Blathers went on aboot the same stuff he does with all beetles. Blah, you’d think he could reward me by saying something new. So that leaves four more insects… Also got 10,000 Bells from the shiny spot, so things are looking up I guess.
July 15, 2003
Does Blanca get a new outfit every time she goes from town to town? I kinda wish I could use the control pad while making a pattern/face, gives me more precision. Anyways, I drew her a semi-realistic cat face, which I think came out pretty well. Unfortunately, the face-stretching made it look more like a snake on her. My turnips… they went bad… but why? Oh well, I guess I’ll make do. Live and learn, or something. It ummmm… is the same year in Hyrule, right? I mean it’s not going to be stupid enough to get confused just ‘cause our clocks are a minute off, right? Still, I wonder where I should put them now… Sandy seems to be all right. Good for her. Gulliver’s around, but I really should let Brownie take care of him. It’s only fair. Bea says she likes to read on rainy nights. Well I guess she does have a few books on her shelf, yeah. And for the first time ever, I caught myself a… tire? I think I’ll keep it. Planted some cherry trees cuz Welly wanted me to. Blah, still plenty of weeds to be pulled it seems.
I just noticed that Brownie has chocolates. Well that makes things easier for me, if I decide to trade. Must remember than Hyrule Day’s tamarra. And so Brownie also donated a mountain stag beetle the museum… and did as Welly requested on Acre D-4. Sure, the one time I let Brownie take Gulliver, and she gets Manekin Pis. Ah well, c’est la vie. So very vulgar… yet at the same time magnificent.
Traveling to Shitton has brought it… Ellie? Whozzat? At least she likes blue and green… though kinda small for an elephant. Apparently you can leave before the train leaves agin… interesting.
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July 16, 2003
Twiggy’s in Hyrule. Meh, at least I know I can eventually get them to come back. Oh, and Cesar’s gone. No wonder I have Ellie now… and Buck. Buck… just doesn’t seem right for Shitton. And poo, he says ‘pardner’ now. That’s no fun. He likes my gyroid… what a nutcase. But now I miss Ricky… oh well. What better place to bury spoiled turnips than by Nook’s, eh? Ugh, that’s twice I saw that striped dragonfly thing without catching him. Why is Blanca in Shitton… with her old face? Praps… this is not Blanca, but a shapeshifter? Or praps Blanca refers to a whole species of faceless cats? And the experiment confirms it: Blanca simply cannot fall into a pitfall. Bummer. Tangy gave me a nice wallpaper, so I guess I’ll live without Twiggy. Still, so many memories… Katrina on the 18th. Meh.
Blanca doesn’t want me to draw her a new face. Well nuts to her. Why’s her head larger than Tangy’s, anyway?
July 16, 2003
Started off in Hyrule today, and got station model 12 from Tortimer. Static wants a fan. Ha! Too bad for him! Donated a brown cicada to this town’s Blathers. What’s odious mean agin? I think I saw that striped dragonfly I was thinking aboot before. Looked like I had a chance to catch it if I had my net out, yup. The weeds just never stop…
Well poo. Visiting Hyrule as LuWigi didn’t get me a station model for him as well, just a comment on how Tortimer’s the most important tortoise in Hyrule, or something. Bea seems okay, though secluded inside her house… I hope that Sue E. isn’t bothering her. Pitfalled her just in case. Gaston seemed upset, so he seems fine too. Why is Tom calling me his neighbor? Did some work for Welly. He sure does make a lot of demands in Hyrule.
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July 17, 2003
Gabi’s gone as well. Oh well, at least it’s someone I wanted to move out for once. Still, Shitton seems that much more empty now. Someone buried a super toilet, I dug it up. Tangy’s making demands agin. This time she wants a library. 10,000 Bells from the shiny spot agin. I wonder if it has anything to do with my house, or just the golden shovel… Gots me a jewel beetle. At least Blathers said something new…. Something aboot how their iridescence is nauseating somehow. I swear, you’d think he’d at least appreciate that one. Could it be the dragonfly I’ve been hunting before is just the darner dragonfly? But its behavior seemed so different… Mailed away some fossils. At least my inventory doesn’t seem too crowded now that the turnips spoiled.
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July 18, 2003
Why do I seem more tan than usual? Is it just from it being summer and me being outside? Finally picked that weed outside Betty’s house that was annoying me from up on the non-valley type part… the… steep? So few animals left that I actually want to talk to… At least there’s still Prince, who’s in love with Destiny, or something. Hmmmm… did my spoiled turnips just decay or what?
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July 19, 2003
Bah, Nook’s has nothing as usual these days. So hard to fish with these dang mosquitoes around. The tent of the weekend is Penny, an elongated version of another mouse. She seems… cheerful. Finally requested K.K. Casbah from Slider. Sounds like some sort of tribal or maybe Egyptian song coming from him. Far more tribal in my stereo though. You know, that sound effect right before Katrina finishes reading your fortune reminds me a lot of Super Mario RPG. She says that deep in an ocean, a downright-stinky bathroom sink will be doing push-ups… well I guess I’ve never seen deep in an ocean well enough to say if that’s a likely event. It didn’t cause anything though. I dun think I like ‘ska-WEAK!’ as a catchphrase.
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July 20, 2003
So let me get this straight… Mathilda still calls me ‘wee baby’, and now I have to put up with Ellie calling me ‘wee one’? Bah, stupid game. I wonder if Kapp’n is purposely supposed to be an insult to sailors with his flirtacious ways… My funds were still relatively low from the turnips going bad, so I took a trip to the island, bearing fruits. Also updated the flag there to my Campy Hyrule 2003 pattern while I was there. Ended up with five 30,000 Bell bags, two picked up, three accumulated, which I’d say is not too bad. Now why can I hear the town’s bell from the island agin? Also gave Flash a run with my golden shovel, but that didn’t really in anything new or special. And I’m once agin more tanned than a tanned thing in summer, or something. Redd on the 22nd.
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July 21, 2003
I think I became even more tan overnight, because… sheesh. Cousteau has problems thinking straight when shopping for furniture… I blame the moustache. Decided I had time, so I tried to get more island items from Flash. Also cleaned out the Lost and Found of all furniture in the process. Amazing how gullible Booker is sometimes… I was half anticipating having Copper haul me away to jail as soon as I walked out too. Sheesh Gulliver, wake up already. Anyways, he gave me another matryoshka nesting dolls thingy. Bah, ungrateful bum. Caught a red snapper, and it brought me just enough extra money to make a deposit at the bank agin. Saw that dang dragonfly as Kapp’n was coming towards the island, then a few more times when I got back. Well I gots me yet another Wario’s Woods, but other than that nothing all that good. Plus I think I would have made more money selling the extra coconuts I had rather than feeding them to him. Get away from my house, Murphy…
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July 22, 2003
Well at least I camouflage well in the dark with this tan. Well I’ll be, Buck’s asking what Anthony’s up to. Hmmm… I kinda wonder myself. Still, that’s a pretty good memory he’s got there, considering he’s traveled across three towns now. I wonder if he remembers his town tune too… Prince is sad ‘cause Redd ripped him off. At least he concedes that Nook sells junk I guess. Interesting how a shanty is both a type of song and type of dwelling… or at least it’s interesting when you’re bored. Nothing new from the Lost and Found yet, but at least they organized what they have left I guess. Did something jump into the water while I was fishing? Maybe it was that pill bug, hard to say. Yes Redd, the common painting was hard to find, a “rarity among rarities”. Then agin… I hadn’t seen it before. Also bought a white rook from him, so at least he had stuff. Weird, Blathers was all excited aboot the common painting too. He even said ‘what a find!’ Hmmmm… only 3 slots left to fill with paintings… I wonder if I get a prize. The golden painting praps? The ability to carry 999,999 Bells in me wallet?
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July 23, 2003
Bought an icy shirt from the Spawn… weird time to be selling it, yup. Always so hard to balance wanting to get from place to place quickly and trying to keep on the lookout for insects. Why don’t I remember the whole thing my character says after catching a flat stag beetle, even though Blathers says I already caught it? Wendell on the 25th. New item in the Lost and Found is a ranch couch. I’m pretty sure I have that one, but can’t be absolutely certain. Guess I’ll pick it up on my next trip to the island, or something. Why does Prince always stay indoors at night? Hambo wants to move agin, so I think he’s sticking around.
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July 24, 2003
Got another pack of E-reader cards, so I scanned in my two faves: Louie and Resetti (yeah, I don’t like him for who he is, but at least he’s unique.) At least I didn’t get any duplicates this time. Resetti describes himself as a concerned mole with a soft heart and a tough skin. Well he seems like a fruitcake to me. I mean come now, tragedy because of the reset button? It made Mario Golf playable! Anyways, he gave me a pansy model… HEY! Louie refers to himself as the Lou… all right, that’s crossing the line. He suggests K.K. Soul and Soulful K.K., but I think I already have them both. He gave me that weird timpano drum. Hmmm… interesting how the Spawn refer to most things as a something, but Mr. Flamingo is just Mr. Flamingo, not a Mr. Flamingo. So Welly’s finally upset aboot the weeds in Nibbles’ acre… interesting. I’ve just met Wart Jr… where the bloody heck did he come from? Well I guess there was room in my town… but he could send a letter, something! He says ‘grr-ribbit’… brilliant. Now why’s Buck gotta be the type who’s always out and aboot? I was starting to like him… Hey wait… am I up to 3 frogs agin? Prince says the aerobics tamarra are canceled when it rains. That’s kinda odd, really. Too… realistic, I guess.
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July 25, 2003
6 a.m… welcome to Heck. Copper apparently wants to whip us into shape for swimsuit season… what was it before now then? At least Cupcake’s still asleep, so I don’t have to put up with her. And I seem to be doing better at the money rock recently. Today’s aerobics is joined by Tangy, Sven, Billy (ugh), and Sue E. (triple ugh.) And it does seem just like the one at the Springs Sports Fair. But I want a soy mocha latté, Tortimer… Well, it took a lot of pointers from Copper and practice, but I think I’ve got the moves down there. Whoo. At least I got 10,000 Bells from the shiny spot agin. So many eveing cicadas this early in the morning… So odd to see no one at the Police Station post. Who shall I ask aboot the famed wanderer, Wendell? Who shall make it so that I don’t have to check inside the Lost and Found to see if there’s anything new there? Who shall greet me when I leave said Lost and Found, huh? I checked Wart Jr.’s house while he was asleep at his front door. A bunch of croakoids, crickets, and pond thingies with lilypads. Yup, he’s definitely got this frog thing down. Or is he a toad?
Wendell gets a crucian carp, I get a lunar horizon. Schweet. Nook and the Spawn aren’t selling anything worthwhile, bah. Looks like Tangy remembered that I talked to her while she was doing aerobics, just thought I’d point that out. And you can go ahead and test to see if Wendell will eat your exercise card or golden axe, but as for me, I’d rather not risk it in the pursuit of knowledge. And remember folks, do NOT leave possessions lying around at 6-7 a.m. Booker’s incompetent and everyone knows it. Found a loud line shirt at the dump. It’s… a shirt, I think. Why is Billy stalking Prince? And I think Mathilda’s stalking Sven… unless they just happen to like to look through other people’s windows.
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July 26, 2003
‘Mom’s still dissing me in the mail. She’ll get her comeuppance eventually. Gots me ‘the famed dynastid beetle’, so I guess there was another reason to get up this early after all. Blathers copped out on me and said the same as he says for all beetles. Bah, poo on him. Today’s aerobics is joined by Hambo, Buck, Prince, and Ellie. Bah, almost a good crowd all around, but I dun like Ellie much. Too… meh. Hambo likes the aerobics, Prince feels there’s no point to getting up early if you’re not going to do it, while Buck thinks getting up early is the point entirely. And now, my patented guide to aerobics with Copper. You’re welcome:
Windmills: rotate right on the C-stick, followed immediately by rotating left.
Stretching: tap down, then up on the C-stick.
Bouncing jumping jack thingies: tap up on the C-stick twice.
Toe touch: tap twice to the bottom left corner, then twice to the bottom right corner.
Stretch to your side: tap to the top left corner twice, then the top right corner
Hip rotation: start at the bottom, rotate left for one revolution, then rotate right for one revolution (hard to do, too similar to windmills)
Gots me: tap left twice on the C-stick, followed by right twice
Still have no idea what tapping down twice does.
And remember, no holding items like nets or windmills when you’re trying to do them.
Got a lawnmower in a scavenger hunt. Meh, at least it’s new. Our new camper is Deena, a duck… now where have I seen her before? Maybe a card? She says sugarbill, and I broke her heart. Meh. Saharah on the 28th. Dang. Well I’ll be, I gots me a campfire. Schweet. And if Deena’s sad that she lost, too bad, the game was rigged and she knew it. You can’t give Jingle a banana, they don’t grow around here!
Came back to see K.K. Ran out of things to request, but luckily he had K.K. Western for me. So wait… a bunch of songs sound like the ending of a western, there’s already K.K. Country, but there’s K.K. Western too? Oh well, at least it sounds all right. I’d almost say it sounds better in the stereo. Why is Deena introducing herself to me agin? Apparently, if the options are ‘ok’ or ‘not telling’, the game is for a prize, otherwise it’s for giving/selling an item to the camper. Anyways, another guess on the green banana gave me a toilet. Yay? Buck apparently misses Lisa too… wow, he HAS traveled a good distance to get to my town.
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July 27, 2003
It’s my birthday, so my parents sent me… a birthday cake? I’m guessing they neither marked it ‘fragile’ nor kept it refrigerated to preserve freshness, right? Only 6 candles?!? I’m insulted! I like the blue and green combo though… It’s getting harder and harder to decide what letters to delete to make room… 89 Bells a turnip today from Joan… not too bad at all. Hambo and Prince got each other upset, so I bonked ‘em both. Buck says I look like a black for a favorite color… he was gonna paint my roof, wasn’t he?!? Buried some items of furniture at the island, but didn’t let Flash dig them up just yet. You know, I kinda missed having a Gaston in my town, I’m glad Wart Jr. came around. Still… if he’s related to the great Wart of Sub-Con fame, why isn’t he green? Oh yeah, and I missed the morning aerobics, but meh, it’s my birthday and I’ll miss what I want. Now if only something more significant happened than just getting a cake in this game. Welly says Shitton went back to perfect and I dunno why though. Why does the banded dragonfly look more red to me now? Buck is still looking for a giant stag beetle. I know he’s frustrated that he can’t catch one, but it’s kinda crossing the line to compare them to Resetti. Still no banded dragonfly, but at least I got some practice capturing the other types.
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July 28, 2003
Aerobics today is joined by Prince, Sven, Wart Jr., and Mathilda. You know Wart Jr. is kinda bloated looking really. I dunno, Tangy, maybe it should be “good things come to those who sleep.” All right, Tortimer stamped the stupid card, I am so out of here.
72 Bells a turnip from Nook today. Blah. Cousteau likes pain for some reason. I never figured he’d be the type, really. The new item in the Lost and Found is a gelato shirt. Meh. Buck seems to be stalking me, but of course won’t admit it. Brownie and Prince talk maybe once and suddenly he thinks she’s a good pal of his. Sold a jewel beetle, bought a rug, traded it for one of Saharah’s, and got an ancient tile. At least it didn’t take too long. Apparently talking to Sven has put him to sleep… schweet.
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July 29, 2003
‘Mom’ sends me a peach. Bah. Buck says I’d make a good bicyclist. What, does a large, round head help to balance the bike or something? 66 Bells a turnip from Nook today. How I loathe him. Now does the game really keep track of who was at aerobics later in the day or is it pulling my leg? Tangy apparently has 94 apples… I have to learn her storage technique. Redd on the 31st. Bah, I wish Nibbles would get out of her ‘snort’ phase already… I’m sure that’s slang for a drug somewhere, and not just how to use a drug. And she did a stupid scavenger hunt with the item hidden behind who-knows-where to boot!
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July 30, 2003
60 Bells per turnip from Nook. I will have my vengeance, you old ‘coon you. Hmmmm… I dun think I’ve seen an animal other than Gulliver walk on the edge of the beach. I wonder what makes Tangy different today… So many stag beetles out tonight… what’s the difference between a stag beetle and another kind of beetle agin? Their jaws? New item at the Lost and Found is a big dot shirt. Blah. Did I mention I hate mosquitoes? Prince feels sad for the Sun. I would think his emotional reactions would be dulled… oh well, go figure. And Sven is saddened by cockroaches… must be a gloomy day. Hambo was waiting by my house to challenge me to a fight, but he chickened out at the last second. Poo. But talking to him made me get bit agin, so I bonked him good anyway.
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July 31, 2003
Wart Jr.’s gone, Wolfgang’s in. Bummer. Finally got Nibbles’ item, ‘twas a red corner. Why are Mathilda and Sue E. always at aerobics? Oh well, at least they’re not sleeping.
Nook’s raffle has an ivory piano, some sort of bonsai and a big brown thingy. I got the plum bonsai. Wolfgang’s house is all modernized, has K.K. Rock, a screaming gyroid, and a complete triceratops fossil skeleton. I swear I’ve heard K.K. Rock somewhere before… He says ‘snarrl’ and is definitely a Gaston. Meh, better than the invasion of the Baabaras. Buck remembers Hyrule’s song quite well it seems. Prince calls me the cat’s meow… not quite an intimidating nickname, but meh. Someone planted a Pitfall without telling me. They shall die. Went to the island, took a load of Pitfalls back. Heh heh heh… Also buried some more furniture and had Flash dig it up. What’s it mean when the furniture leaf he buries is gold agin? Maybe it’s just my eyes, ‘twas only an apple tv. And nothing else new either. Bah. Guess I need to bring him different fruit and more expensive stuff, even though I did waste an arwing on him this time. And what’s with Flash inisisting on staying indoors lately?
July 31, 2003
Hmmmm… still thunderstorming this late in the month in Hyrule. Bah, more cockroaches already? Put a bunch of gyroids in the basement ‘cause it seemed so empty and quiet. This Nook was selling a NES game, Mario statue and robot radio, but I didn’t have any raffle tickets to take advantage of it. Gabi’s got the Luigi shirt now. Weird. Decided to clean out the mailbox, so I got rid of some saved letters from Nook aboot what was for sale. Who’s Spork agin? Did some more stuff for Welly. Bah, the demands never end.
Went to Shitton to see if I could get a neighbor exchange going. Bah, not Blanca agin. And now she is the lizard queen, mayhap she can do anything. She gave it a close guess by saying she thinks she’s a gargoyle. And I laughed, and I’d do it agin. Cupcake got on my case aboot being indebted to Nook. I don’t care if I am Brownie now, that deserved a bonking. No luck in the area of the neighbor exchange. Bah.
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August 1, 2003
And so I’m to the point where Word can no longer automatically check my spelling and grammatical errors automatically. Schweet. Anyways, Wolfgang’s gone… yes, after one day, he left. And Welly calls Shitton perfect agin, ha! In his place is Butch, who I don’t think is from Hyrule… I’m so completely out of room for letters these days… guess I’ve got to start lowering my standards of deletion. Also needed some room in my inventory, so Sue E. and Mathilda should be getting a surprise soon if they walk around their houses. At least Ellie says ‘cluckling’ now… and Betty’s wearing my old Camp Hyrule 2002 shirt. That’s the spirit! Oh, and Blanca’s walking around the police station. That lizard face looks quite nice on her really. Prince sure is at aerobics a lot… what a nutcase.
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August 2, 2003
Billy seems to be a reg at aerobics too now. Too bad Sue E. managed to sleep in. Tangy cried out of embarrassment for drooling. She’s really got to take a chill pill sometime... At least I finally gots me a giant stag beetle (which is apparently huge, or something.) And Blathers even thanked me for donated such an ‘obviously valuable insect’. Well that settles it, I catch that banded dragonfly TODAY. This light line shirt does NOT go with my tan. Buck is happy that locusts can fly. Buck is weird. Phyllis changed to Pelly before my eyes. Hmmmm… At least 7 am has nice music. Almost Shenmue-ish.
New Tent. Pierce. I have a card of him. Grasshoppers and praying mantises everywhere. 43 Bells a turnip, so I lose money, which is fine, ‘cause I have more. The bird in the birdcage twirps. How annoying. Blanca says people like Shitton and her new face. That’s nice. Wendell on the 4th. Yeah okay. Prince threatens me with letter-writing agin, but his words fall on deaf ears. Bonked Mathilda, forgot why. Maybe it was her catchphrase. Buck painted my house pink, so it’s time to visit Resetti. Nevermind aboot the things I said aboot him before. Nevermind, the new camper is Pompom. The banded dragonfly is mine. Huzzah. Such cheerful music. Butch got to see it, and gives his congratulations. How sad I wouldn’t see that if no one was around. Scarlett tells Butch Nook’s having a sale soon. Who the fork’s Scarlett, Nook’s mistress? Oh, Tangy’s happy that I caught them all too. Except they’re all gross… don’t cats eat some of these? Apparently I could have made money selling that to Nook. I’m sick of being his… used-person anyway. Blathers says ‘Whoo hoo hootie HOO!’ How stupid of him. He congratulates me as well. Oh look, a butterfly on my house already. Pompom says rah rah. Please kill Pompom.
Got K.K. Gumbo from Slider. Quite catchy, even if I dunno what Gumbo is. Prolly heard it somewhere before though.
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August 3, 2003
Tortimer says I’m the most famous bugcatcher ever in Shitton… but that’s prolly not saying much. And the golden net is apparently good for catching butterflies. Still, I’ve got to hand it to the old guy. He sure did get from my house to the well for morning aerobics in a hurry. I wonder if Copper was mad that he showed up late… prolly not, politicians get away with so much. Now the golden net is bigger, yes, but I wouldn’t say it’s huge or anything. Got a green wardrobe in a scavenger hunt. Meh. Apparently, I have exactly 100 gyroids now. Weird. This month’s raffle tickets are dark blue. Not sure if they used that color or not yet. Finally got my fire flower from Nintendo Power. 30,000 Bells from the shiny spot today. Nice… The fire flower makes the spitooie-ish sound of shooting a fireball in Super Mario Bros. All right, enough teasing, give me the dang game already. The animals all complain aboot the time for morning aerobics… are the people who decided the time for events in the game different than the ones who created the dialogue or something? Did the two teams hate each other and declare war, flinging pencils across the room at every opportunity? Such mysteries we may never know… The G logo shirt does not belong in the dump! 128 Bells a turnip from Joan… I know I’m throwing away money, but I bought 100. Sue E. somehow makes Tangy happy by wearing her fashions. Go figure. She even gave me an orange chair… these animals are too cheerful, something’s going on… Cupcake continues to stalk Pompom and I don’t care. My switch to trying to catch all the fish instead of insects is off to a good start, as I have caught a piranha… what part of the world am I in agin? Instead of boring myself with the usual ‘board up the house’ attack, Buch shall be the first victim of… THE GOLDEN NET BONKING!!! Well… wait… no, that’s far better for Sue E. Yes… that should do nicely. Blathers doesn’t understand why the bloody heck we have piranhas in our river either. I blame the Gastons. That noise by the ponds does seem to be a frog’s croak apparently. Did I solve that mystery before and just forget aboot it? Anyways, down to the last three it seems. Pompom sings the morning song. A shiny new donkey to the person who brings me her head. Now why does the 2nd card keep working on the first or second turn? And why does logic almost work with her stories? Guess I’m going insane. Got a new mountain bike for 260 Bells by thinking it was her who got to the top… now does that depend on the last thing she says, or what? Too bad I can’t ride the thing though. It woulda worked in Pokémon. Or Earthbound, for that matter.
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August 4, 2003
Cousteau is wearing a G logo shirt, so he’s got class. Blanca’s apparently still around. Tangy can’t do without her Chocolate Snacklings… she could at least share. Who is she, Sue E.?
EAT GOLDEN NET, STUPID MOSQUITOES!!! Sold a dynastid beetle to Tangy for a little less than it’s worth, because I’m nice… or something. Sue E. was still in a good mood, so I buried another Pitfall by her house. That should put a frown on her pig face. Sheesh Blanca, go home! Prince knows something aboot Mathilda that I don’t… unless it’s aboot her attitude. Gave Wendell a giant catfish, got a mortar wall. I really can’t say enough how much I prefer him to Saharah.
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August 5, 2003
Yup, it does rainstorm in August… meaning no aerobics, and I’ve come before Nook’s opened for no reason. Blah. Now you’d think Copper would use it as an excuse to sleep in as well, but nope, he’s still at his post. He says Katrina’s coming on the 7th. And no one seems to want to talk to me… oh well. A bunch of koi out for some reason. Is that due to it being early or it raining?
Now there is a rule aboot Nook not going a certain number of days without paying over 200 Bells for turnips… right? Blanca can’t tell me where she’s from… obviously, she is a spy from somewhere… praps an android created in the Coon Republic? Nah, too obvious. Tangy wouldn’t give me her outfit when we played a game (only lost a red snapper, but that’s beside the point), but I couldn’t will myself to waste my first golden net bonking on her. Bah, at this rate, the whole town’ll try to step all over me. Fooled around with the town tune for a bit, but decided my talent was lacking.
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August 6, 2003
Sheesh, not a new fish anywhere. Maybe I missed a few in the months before, I dunno. Buck apparently has a crush on someone in Shitton… I hope it’s not Sue E. My new and made up town tune (though it borrows a lot from the Song of Storms in the Ocarina of Time) kinda grows on me when I talk to the right animal. Sounds terrible on Hambo though.
Butch had a letter ever since he was a kid extolling the virtues of furniture… no wonder he is how he is. I wonder what explains Gaston though… prolly the ‘stache. Anyways, he threatened to whack me, so I whacked him, golden net style. Seemed like a good enough excuse to me. I think Tangy set me up for a mosquito bite, but I’ll let it slide… for now. Well I’ll be, the bee strategy worked… Catching and thereby escaping bees by NOT running… interesting. Anyways, that’ll show that Sue E. that her curses won’t work on me! Ha! Tweaked my town tune a bit and called it a night.
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August 7, 2003
Nice crowd at the aerobics today: Butch, Nibbles, Prince and Tangy. Still, gotta pity them for having to wake up this early. Gulliver gave me more plate armor. Bah. The 7 o’clock music also could work for a casino zone in Sonic/Bubsy. Remember Bubsy, before he tried the jump to 3d? ...why is Prince asleep in front of his door now?
You know, I think a mosaic wall/tile combo would be too mosaic for its own good. Well, Tangy set me up for a mosquito bite agin, but at least she gave me a dragon suit.
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August 8, 2003
‘Mom’ apparently hates morning aerobics. Well, I guess ‘she’s not completely evel. Katrina says that on a park bench, some sort of ugly astronaut will be juggling grapes. So that’s what they do when their glory is gone from them… and so, animals shall now avoid me. Bah. Did I mention my relief in Ellie now saying cluckling? Buck is such a stalker… and yet he’s so sad when he finds out I’m not home. Poor guy.
63 Bells a turnip from Nook today. Bah, I dunno why I ever put faith in that whole turnip system. Got a nice bubble shirt from the dump. It’s so very… blue.
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August 9, 2003
Well, queer made another visit to Shitton, and left a path of… dropped items in ‘his’ wake. ‘He’ did manage to upgrade ‘his’ house (meaning Nook gets even more money, bah) and get the curse of falling when running from Katrina though. And ‘his’ mailbox is apparently empty now. Blah, Cousteau changed his nice shirt… I blame queer for this, I just dunno how. Aerobics has Prince and Nibbles, but also Cupcake. Sure are a lot of bass around this morning.
Looks like Nook’s selling wallpaper at 2 pm tamarra. Bah, hardly seems worth it really. Oh, and queer’s spelling abilities are still terrible. Slider gave me a song called Only Me. The title seems to fit, it’s pretty melancholy and makes you feel kinda lonely. Of course, Nook pays the absolute lowest price this week for turnips on Fridays. Money-grubbing trash-eater. Looks like Hambo’s taking a liking to my shirt agin.
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August 10, 2003
Nibbles is out, Pippy is in. Hmmmm… I wonder why her. Butch is afraid of insects. I only mention it ‘cause he told me not to. Both Hambo and Murphy were at aerobics, so that makes two wearing my shirt there. Both men of course. Tortimer gave me an aerobics radio, even though he wants one… odd. Anyways, I thought it was 15 times, not 14. And why’d he have to steal my card? And where all all these weeds coming from? Tune in next time… and I prolly still won’t know. Pippy’s asleep, but has a green house. Good choice really.
Bah, forget Joan. Got a blue balloon from the sale, but I think I have it already. Nothing worth buying there either. Got an icy shirt from the dump. Freaky. Buck says he didn’t see me at aerobics, but that’s ‘cause he wasn’t there. Hmmm… the aerobics radio even has the voices of animals exercising on it… at least now I have another use for my C-stick, I guess. Changed the sign on my house to my Camp Hyrule 2003 design in preparation for tamarra. Pippy’s house is very… suburban… in an outdoors way. At least there’s a pool. I think it’s a she, a bunny in fact, that calls me li’l hare. Why’s everything have to be aboot size? So your ears are above my head, big whoop.
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August 11, 2003
Meteor shower tamarra, must remember that. Gracie on the 13th. Great, Ellie’s back to her old catchphrase. Hmmmm… Prince is wearing a li’l bro’s shirt. Well, he certainly knows fashion, even if he’s a bit indecisive. Plus he’s got Buck’s catchphrase now. You know… I think Sven has a ponytail. Sent him a quadruplet of old cans, ‘cause I had nothing else to do with them.
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August 12, 2003
Went to the meteor shower.Both neighbors with my custom shirt were there… and yet no Buck. What a coward. Wait… this girl he’s after… the only one here is… Cupcake?!? Got a pitfall, before it got me. Anyways, the music around the pond was kind cutesy, and the amount and speed of the meteorites was far slower paced thanI expected. I guess it’s more realistic that way, but on the other hand, you can’t see the meteors outside the pond, so that kinda throws realism out the window.
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August 13, 2003
Sven returned my letter. He apparently doesn’t understand the command ‘eat’. I guess that’s aboot what I’d expect from him. Gracie insulted my G-logo shirt, so she’s obviously a dirty Sony sympathizer. Still, she got me a tin shirt… which is rather blech really. Butch pitied that I had it, and gave me a heart shirt. Needed some space in my inventory, so it was Pitfall time for Cupcake.
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August 14, 2003
Nook dun got diddly squat today. Cupcake missed my Pitfall… poo. Butch explains that letters=happiness. Bah, I never said I was the magical man from Happyland… and something aboot Lollipop Lane. Tangy’s done it agin with the mosquito biting. Sheesh, I didn’t really lie to her aboot catching all the fish so far, I just forget that was insects. How rude. Redd on the 16th.
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August 15, 2003
UHF quotes keep running through my head… I blame Crazy Redd. Prince wants me to read travel guides… how? This Pippy rabbit thing’s wearing a moldy shirt… schweet. I caught a jellyfish. I didn’t know we had these in AC… guess we do now. There sure is a lot of them in the ocean at 4 pm. Blathers says they’re beautiful.. he has really odd tastes. I mean come on, it acts half dead in the tank, and you can’t get squat from Nook for them! My character made a really bad jelly/jellyfish joke of course. At least I’m down to two fish left now. Cupcake finally got Pitfall’d. Ha!
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August 16, 2003
Found both the lite line and the loud line shirts in the dump today. How odd. There’s still jellyfish everywhere. Come on Tangy, what fun is ther in trying to get through a maze I can’t even see? You could at least give me a dang prize… Butch watches me get bit by a mosquito and insults my li’l bro’s shirt, Butch gets bonked. Only junk from Redd, bah.
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August 17, 2003
Prince called me old, but he may live, since he likes my shirt. Betty’s putting a guilt trip on me for missing Brownie the last time around. Like I had some bloody choice in the matter. Tangy’s up to trying to take my items from me agin, since the mosquitoes aren’t out yet. She’s just always straddling the line… bad kitty! Prince got stuck at Betty’s, don’t ask me how. I let him out, but then he said I looked like my dad, so he didn’t escape the bonk after all. Joan was selling turnips for 77 Bells each. I felt lucky, so I bought 200.
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August 18, 2003
Murphy says ‘burrup’ now… weird. Nook’s buying turnips for 80 Bells each… I know I should prolly sell, but I won’t. Bought a hawthorne bonsai from the Spawn… waaaay too many of those bonsai thingies. Must be a Japanese favorite, I dunno. Also got a checkered shirt and opulent rug while I was at it. It’s 9 am and Butch is sound asleep… he’s definitely my type of animal. I’m almost certain now that 10,000 Bells is the max you can get from the money rock. Wendell’s coming on the 20th, and the longheaded locusts are out.
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August 19, 2003
The way I see it, if I cut down too may trees, no one will want to move in… and therefore, no one will be able to move out! Now how did the pattern for Bea’s old shirt get on a billboard? Maybe queer did it? I wonder if the island has the new fish I need. Ellie might have written to Tangy before she got here, hard to say what the letter means really.
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August 20, 2003
Betty’s gone, leaving me with with Stella… a slight improvement in name I spose. Why’s that elephant slide sold so often at Nook’s? Bought a crouton from Buck, which is apparently some sort of plant. Stella’s a sheep, and says baa-dabing. On the bright side though, her house is very down to Earth, with lots of musical instruments and a painting of that naked chick. At least Gaston’s old lot has use now. I pushed her around, but I couldn’t get her back in her cage. Oh well, at least she’ll be sleeping outside from now on. Got a sandlot wall from Wendell in exchange for a barred knifejaw.
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August 21, 2003
Stella’s already doing scavenger hunts I see. I changed my town tune! It’s a variation on the song played by Paul Luther and that guy from World War I (Peter something I think) on the organ in Eternal Darkness. I believe the best way to explain it in text form would be:
g_b_a_c_
b_a_g_ _ z
With the smaller case letters being the lowest octave, if I’ve got my terminology right, the underscore being where the game holds down the note, and the z indicating where there is no sound.
Unfortuanately, the song isn’t very scary at all, and just plain stinks with some animals. Floating presents seem common agin. Redd agin on the 23rd. Got a green rug from the Spawn. Scarlett tells Butch that Nook’s having a sale agin. Is this Nook’s estranged lover? She does have his brand of stationary… As for Founder’s Day, they made up a new and interesting word: forecritters. Anyways, Tortimer explains that the town used to be covered in weeds… prolly cockroaches too, and I was given a weed model. Hey, you crotchedy old turtle, how aboot you remember what theis place would be like if it weren’t for ME, doofus! At least Welly appreciates me. Heck, he doesn’t even have any idea who the town founders were. What a gip.
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August 22, 2003
Storm today. You know… ‘lol’ works great as a catchphrase for Buck. 69 Bells a turnip today. You may chuckle now. The Spawn sold me a jasmine bonsai and a green wall. Cousteau suggests fishing in the rain… he would. Buried the pitfall that Stella buried for me in a supposed ‘scavenger hunt’ by her house. Didn’t want to free her by putting it inside you see.
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August 23, 2003
Got K.K. Lament from Slider. ‘Tis very melancholy, reminds me of some song though. It’s like… I could predict how it’s going to go and whistle along after the first verse pretty well. I guess… it sounds like a midi version of the bar in Shenmue or maybe The Real Folk Blues in my stereo. I talked Hambo into not moving agin, not sure why. Looks like I was ripped off on turnips agin. At least the shiny spot was 10,000 Bells today. Still nothing good from Redd.
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August 24, 2003
Bah, forget Joan. ‘Mom’s still sending me duplicate letters. What a waste of time and space. New town tune variation!
gdbdadcd
bGaGg_ _z
Far more cheerful than the last one. My tan’s gone... completely. Bought a black queen for cheap from Prince, cheap enough that I made a profit selling it.So I guess you can make a prediction aboot what frame of mind he was in. Nook’s looks emptier than usual, and I sunno why. Gracie’s coming on the 26th.
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August 25, 2003
Storm agin. The weather gets so boring after awhile… though I guess that’s true in the real world too. Put Butch to sleep by talking… and they though that was exclusive to Animal Forest E+. Tangy did it to me yet agin… bah. Someone make these dang mosquitoes die already! Got a flicker shirt from the Spawn.
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August 26, 2003
I’m becoming a bit vampirishly pale from only being out at night. Got a brick and ? block (from Super Mario Bros.) from Nintendo Power. Reorganized my house, now I’ve got much more room. Got another groovy shirt from Gracie. The odd thing aboot her is… you can’t see the symbols above her head when you talk to her. Like, if she’s laughing, the ‘Ha Ha Ha’ will be above the top of the screen, ‘cause of her neck. Just thought I’d point that out.
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August 27, 2003
Cabin clock and go-go shirt from the Spawn. At least I should have a decent amount of raffle tickets this month. Cupcake falls into a Pitfall, and yet I feel strangely empty… so I bonk her too. Maybe… maybe if I timed it just a bit better instead of doing button mashing… nah, the money rock ends at 1 10,000 Bell bag and that’s final. The crickets are back… I better be kidding aboot that having an early fall thingy. Tangy took it for a shirt. Hmmm… kinda surprising that the coral and groovy shirts aren’t a palette switch. Saharah on the 29th. The waffle shirt in the dump looks pretty unwaffley to me. No, it’s not technically a word, but Microsoft Word is too tired to care.
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August 28, 2003
I can almost see the color return to my character’s face now that I’m out in the sun agin. Looks like the red dragonflies are back, a good sign that it’s getting to be closer and closer to September 17th. Scarlett keeps telling Butch that Nook’s having a sale… maybe she’s trying to force the old ‘coon into having one? Now why don’t catchphrases have the option for accent marks? Oh well, at least Cousteau doesn’t say ‘pardner’ anymore. Tangy wants rain, so she can use her umbrella. Tangy upsets me. Prince buried something or other, but can’t seem to find it, no matter how much I dig behind trees and houses in the acre he mentioned. Bah, I hate it when they do that. New item in the Lost and Found is a kiddie bed… it figures.
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August 29, 2003
Storm’s a-brewin’ yet agin. Murphy says ‘burrup’ now. Meh. Came in late at night, found out Copper’s suspicious that Saharah’s not here yet. Sheesh, just because he never sleeps, doesn’t mean everyone else is expected to conform to his lifestyle. What a self-centered mutt.
Why is there still no mail from Nook? Raffle isn’t for another two days… Butch is mad and I don’t care. I find it odd that Cousteau would call an outfit he picked out for Sven cute, but maybe I’m just not adapting to the times. Hambo obviously wants me to hate him, but I’m too apathetic to care. Tangy considers receiving her comic book to be ‘Super-happy-fun-time!’ So the localization team… is making fun of the Japanese… while translating a game… made in Japan. Anyways, Tangy realizes you can’t go swimming at Shitton’s beach, but seems not to comprehend the reasons as to why. Ah, finally, found Gulliver… and on a Friday, should make a note of that. Got another Moai statue. Meh. Buck seems to have forgotten who Brownie is… so he got bonked. The errands for the carpet took awhile, but at least I didn’t have to spend too long searching for animals. Got a lunar surface for my troubles.
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August 30, 2003
Pippy’s gone. Meh. Been replaced by Tutu… GET OUT OF BEA’S ACRE RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!! Appears to be some sort of bear thing, calls me twinkles… quite friendly though. House is old fashioned, but has K.K. Steppe. Speaking of which, got K.K. Condor from Slider. Quite fast-paced, could be like a western chase scene… as everything sounds western to me. Or hey… old fashioned trains, yes… like that Ninja Turtle game for the SNES and arcade. Morning aerobics is over… I hope the animals enjoy the newfound concept of sleeping in. It really helps one’s mental health, I’d say. On an unrelated note, I should point out that 1,000s of people must have had to make one of the toughest decisions they may have to in their entire lives: if I only have 50 bucks… Soul Caliber 2 or F-Zero GX? I still haven’t decided myself. Sheesh, even the retro TV at Nookington’s gets inside my head and irritates me. Ooh, there’s still campers around… an anteater no less. She describes herself as Snooty, but not usually this bitter… or maybe that’s her name. Do they really have tails like that? Looks more bird-like. I sure am getting a lot of stuff from my neighbors today… and they aren’t even in all that good of a mood. Pretty sure I dun have the stuff either. Also got 30,000 Bells from the money rock. Sure, so it’s a good day in AC, but if I ask for a few things to go right outside of it… Redd on the 1st. These bugs can sure be annoying, especially the crickets. At least Snooty’s game is pretty easy and with low consequences, though still just a matter of luck. And again, you can tell by the choices you are given to respond which game it’ll be. Anyways, sure ended up with a lot of furniture when I got sick of it, but the only significant stuff was two campfires (which I already had) and two tent models.
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August 31, 2003
The raffle today has a nice jukebox, the typical ivory piano, and a white chess piece that I think I already have as well (so I forget what piece is what. I don’t play the game, shoot me.) Won the jukebox on my first try, but got to get rid of the other raffle tickets somehow. So tell me… why is Nook so patriotic on raffle day? Is it the colors of the event in Japan as well? Red dragonflies everywhere… I sorta missed them. Ah yes, the migratory locusts are back, too… this golden net does make them seem easier to catch. Sue E. made Tangy sad agin, Sue E. got bonked agin. Such is the way of things. Are animals allowed to paint their own houses? Maybe I’m just forgetful. Prince really overreacts aboot getting ripped off by Redd. Maybe he doesn’t have that much cash, I dunno.
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September 1, 2003
Already posting info aboot the moon viewing on the bulletin board? It’s still Labor Day! Heh heh, moon viewing… sorry. You know, I thought I already had a model of Nook’s Cranny, but I think that was actually Redd’s. I remember being able to sell migratory locusts for more… maybe it just seemed like more back then. You know… Tortimer never wears an umbrella. Maybe he’s too old to care aboot getting sick and dying. He says Labor Day’s also aboot the game programmers… I think. Owning the shop model is different from owning Nook’s portrait for reasons that will come to me. Prince sure gets sad easily when it rains.
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September 2, 2003
Blah, make the rain go away. Yeah, Buck prolly has a thing for me, what with his comments aboot my eyes, but I think as long as I keep my windows blocked by furniture, it should be okay. Hmmm… I think cicadas may actually be more annoying in real life. Crickets too. Butch is upset ‘cause I invaded his privacy. Sure makes you wonder, the things that go on behind closed doors in this game… Gulliver agin already, got yet another Mouth of Truth. Blah, blah, and blah agin. Tangy, I like your company and all, and you’re a pretty coo cat for such a bad complexion… but nobody and I mean NOBODY, threatens to paint my roof! EAT BONK!!! Nothing from Redd today. He’s holding out on me, I just dunno why.
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September 3, 2003
And so, it continues to rain out of spite for me. Why have I yet to hear the slang ‘how’s tricks?’ other than out of Buck? Everyone’s so cheerful today… makes me want to start bonking heads. Well I’ll be… I can still catch arapaimas after all… and you bet it’s huge, my AC character incarnation. So what is that one I’m missing, anyways? Blathers seemed pleased at its size as well, and impressed enough to get woozy. And so, we learn that for an owl, molting is considered the same as death. Oh well, I’ll find out on the 18th. Butch says queer says hello every day, but doesn’t write letters… either he’s just giving me a heavy hint aboot my own behavior, or queer knows something I don’t. Another sale from Nook coming soon. Oh well, I like balloons.
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September 4, 2003
The sale’s at 2 p.m. on the 5th. That’s not too long to wait. Soon, Shitton will be flooded with water, I just know it. Tangy doesn’t know why a lot of romances begin in September. Must be the education system, certainly isn’t because of a change in seasons.
Nada from Nook ‘N Spawn. At least the island’s nice and dry. Hambo’s watching me… but why?
September 4, 2003
Just dropped off some candy and left. Hope I didn’t lose too many neighbors.
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September 5, 2003
Prince gets sick from fruit lying on the ground. Remember that. Billy’s gone, don’t ask why. Nothing from the Spawn. It might have rained for four days straight before, I don’t remember. You know, I don’t think tangy was using an orange (the fruit umbrella) before. Isn’t that blasphemy for her? Meanwhile, Cousteau’s got a noodle parasol, making you wonder which nationality he is already. New neighbor is Maddie, a dog of some sort. She seems friendly enough, but she’s no Bea. Her house is… normal, that’s all you can really say aboot it. Buck’s still stalking me.
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September 6, 2003
Got K.K. Chorale from Slider. Kinda… boring, really. Also sad in my stereo. So many neighbors missing from their homes tonight… maybe they got turned into crickets. Gracie on the 8th. At least I found Tangy, who now demands a bakery. I wonder why there’s a different body model for bears as there is for polar bears… or maybe it’s teddy bears and regular bears?
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September 7, 2003>
Lots of mail today. Tutu’s gone, leaving me with Anicotti… have they run out of new neighbors with names that don’t make me cringe? This Anicotti is a mouse… one that says ‘tee-hee’. It must die. At least Bea’s lot is preserved, and I’m not giving up hope! Got what appears to be a new shirt from Butch. At least they’re still good for something besides the same ol’ conversations, I guess. So many migratory locusts agin…
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September 8, 2003
Got an Anju’s shirt from the Spawn. They sure have a variety of names for this stuff… Crickets, crickets everywhere. Why won’t they just shut up? At least you can chase them into the river I guess. Butch thinks I like soccer. You’d think he’d have good intuition, but he actually functions on the ‘monkeys on a typewriter’ thingy. Maddie got her first bonk for insulting my fashion sense. Seems like I have to bonk more often when Gracie’s around, generally… anyways, she managed to give me a backhanded compliment on my fashion… so maybe I could use a new outfit. Got a melon shirt from her… kinda psychedelic really.
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September 9, 2003
‘Mom’ said something aboot bell crickets as the start of autumn. You know… I think that’s a new one from her. Scarlett won’t leave Butch alone with those letters. I wonder if… nah. Katrina on the 11th… I guess it wouldn’t be very appropriate for anything to happen on that day in AC, would it? Buck keeps asking aboot my lucky color, and changing his prediction to what it is, even though I already told him it was purple. You think he has dementia maybe? Ooh, almost forgot, Harvest Moon’s tamarra. I was able to catch that last year, wasn’t I? I remember… a big ol’ reflection of the moon on the pond.
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September 10, 2003
Stella’s gone… they sure do move a lot nowadays. Oh well, at least Shitton is once agin sheelpless. And, with the addition of Elmer, the E-acres are getting pretty dang crowded. The moon stil can’t be caught in my net. Bah. Anyways, participants include Prince, Cousteau, and Sven. Not a bad group, eh? Sven seems to think Cousteau has a thing for him, even though he’s a loner. It’s nice that he’s not narrow-minded enough to only consider Prince as a potential life partner. Prince, meanwhile, threatens to turn into a werewolf, in not so many words. That or go mad, I dunno. Oh, and Murphy’s doing the werewolf thing too… why’s he still wearing my shirt? Hmmmm… looks like Tortimer’s not going to give me another moon after all. What a jerk. I wonder if he would for queer… got a blue scale shirt from the Spawn. Now what kinda person wants to look like a fish, anyways? Got yet another Moai statue from Gulliver. He sure likes his duplicates… why can’t Tortimer be more like him? Tangy should know by now that she can’t guilt me into giving her anything more than a bonking, even if I do have a spare campfire.
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September 11, 2003
Did some gyroid sorting to start out. I really wish there weren’t so many of the dang things. Those red dragonflies can be kinda annoying at times, as opposed to Buck, who I for some reason don’t want to kill for being so cheerful. Did some rearranging of my house so that my NES games were more accessible, and freed up some room in the process. Blanca’s around… she cracked me up, but I can’t explain why. This Elmer horse thingy… sure does keep things symmetrical in his house. Did I mention that K.K. Waltz reminds me of the midi songs in a program called Microsoft 3d Movie Maker?
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September 12, 2003
Got a trendy top from the dump. Seems kinda plain to be trendy. I’m still waiting to catch a cold from the rain. So everyone who was born in the year of anything… has big eyes? Raining in the game, raining in rea life. Pouring a bit harder in real life though. Got Tangy to promise to stay in Shitton forever to spite me agin. The other animals sure are giving me a lot of stuff. Katrina’s parked in front of Gabi’s old house. Katrina says a lighting-fast pop star will be catching fish in a frying pan… bad idea really. It’s an evel, tripping omen. Meh.
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September 13, 2003
It just doesn’t seem right to have Anicotti in my town. ‘Mom’ talks aboot retirement… I wonder if ‘Dad’ works. You know…. I might write some letters if only the animals would stop pestering me aboot it. Tangy says wet hens get mad. I guess she’d know. She also sits in the dark, quietly watching the glow of her apple tv…weird. Redd on the 15th. He better have something good this time. Got K.K. Waltz from Slider, which I have no comment on, for reasons I have no comment on. Oh all right, I had to keep the sound turned off. Happy?
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September 14, 2003
Oh good, that K.K Waltz was new… pretty boring in the radio though. Nothing from the Spawn today, but at least my raffle ticket accumulation could be worse this month. Butch sure does spend a lot of time outside, but usually in his own acre, oddly enough. Sure are a lot of gyroids out agin… So many animals stupid enough to try to grow turnips… We’ve got enough red dragonflies to choke a camel, so I guess today is just a day of excess, or something.
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September 15, 2003
It still can rain heavily I see… the bulletin board says that should continue through the rest of September… did it say that last year? Buck thinks the rules of commerce are too complicated to me… but I won’t bonk him. No… he’d be expecting that. At least Butch compliments me on my level of physical activity… even though I can’t do jack squat at the Fall Sports Fair, and he prolly knows it. Oh well, more aerobics. Those Nintendo Power mazes are really starting to annoy me… Redd makes Elmer sad too. I guess he doesn’t have much cash on him either.
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September 16, 2003
The town seems slightly… greener than before. Is this the first stage of autumn? Seems kinda early. Was this the view I was treated to as I first entered Shitton? Murphy showed me something Brownie wrote to him aboot coming to Hyrule. I vaguely remember trying to influence neighbors to move from place to place… but my mind’s kinda drawing a blank. Yup, Prince says it’s autumn all right. Bah. Got a quaint painting from Redd. Aboot time he sold something I wanted. And something called a tanabata palm. Freaky looking thing. Why do so many houses have a golden stereo? My pitfall is wasted without that sheep around… oh well. Oh hey there, Anicotti, why don’t you just walk over here… no no, don’t run away… at least, not in that direction.
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September 17, 2003
Yup, the day has finally arrived. Exactly one year ago, this game was released, and I got my hands on it and the E-reader. Almost makes me feel bad for not having gotten any of the great games out now… which is likely a disturbing trend. Remember people, video games are NOT life… they may just be a more fun simulation at times. So let’s see… what are my goals now? 1. Last fish 2. Bea back in Shitton 3. Get Bob? Bah, it’s not sposed to rain today! I dunno why my character told Murphy I only buy carpets from Nook… maybe he doesn’t respect him. My catalog says I got a lantern… when? Did I sell it? Anyways, bought a tiki torch from the Spawn. It’s always nice to talk to an animal just as they’re coming out the door… that way their head gets wet. Cousteau’s happy that I’m a freak… I’ll still bonk him. Saharah on the 19th… I wonder if I should still bother to see her. Blathers doesn’t think my quaint painting is very quaint at all. I guess it is more melancholy…
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September 19, 2003
Elmer’s gone. Bummer. He’s been replaced by… no one? That’s kinda a gip. I wonder if it’s because Welly’s not satisfied… nah, I prolly just had too many. Sports Fair on the 23rd. I wonder if it’s worth going this year. The fish I’m missing is the popeyed goldfish (so says the official AC guide), found all year round, but especially in September. Hmmm, lucky me. Someone made Tangy sad… but who? There’s no one anywhere in that acre. Sheesh, I leave for two days, and weeds everywhere. Got a mossy carpet from Saharah. At least… I think I didn’t have that one yet.
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September 20, 2003
Requested K.K. Cruisin’ from Slider. If all goes well, should have a complete collection of songs by next week. Yet another song that would sound good in a bar, or maybe somewhere in Cowboy Bebop, I dunno. Doesn’t seem so much like a song for ‘crusing’ though. Well… maybe if it was the middle of the night in Las Vegas or somewhere similar. Sounds more like a good song for a casino in my stereo though. Caught myself another tire, this time in good ol’ Shitton. As expected, Nook ain’t buying it. Oh well, I’m sure Butch will love it. Found a bell cricket that just kept flapping its wing without moving anywhere. Is that typical behavior? Wendell on the 22nd. Buck and Butch are both obsessed with tumbling and I dunno why. Maybe they’re adding it to the Fall Sports Thingy? …nah.
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September 22, 2003
Bah, always rain when I don’t want it. Pretty boring selection from Nook today. Where’d all these salmon come from? You’d think Butch would realize at some point that the rain is never going to let up by nightfall… I guess he’s not as perceptive as good ol’ Bea. Buck’s happy that I like the rain too. Oh… maybe Elmer was replaced. Who’s this Midge thingy? Her house… it’s so sickeningly cute. She says tweedledee, but at least she’s friendly… though she cages her own kind. And she has a king-sized bed, so I guess that’s coo. Got a tropical vista from Wendell in exchange for a salmon. Bah, I think I had that one too… Is it wrong to be sick of Prince’s personality since he’s been here so long?
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September 23, 2003
Looks like I missed the Fall Sports Fair. Oh well. Picked up an orange tie dye at the dump. Buck claims to have the superpower of absorbing heat… does that mean he can be a Horse Torch or just do Solarbeam? Decided to start collecting diaries. I mean… might as well. Also bought a thunder shirt from the Spawn, though it’s not all that impressive. Got yet another mouth of truth from Gulliver. Bah. Saharah on the 25th. You’d think some other animals could be as courteous as K.K. and not keep giving me duplicates without a second thought!
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September 27, 2003
Scavenger hunt is a pitfall agin. Will they never learn? Hambo says it’s been a long time since I’ve visited him. They’re going to rag on me for that already? Requested K.K. Safari from Slider. Pretty fast and upbeat, fits an adventure more than a safari in particular though. Hmmm… not even one comment from him aboot me getting all his songs. Feh. Weeds weeds everywhere of course. At least the song’s catchy in my full stereo too. So very many salmon too… At least Tangy’s still all friendly… and trying to get me to trade stuff. Katrina on the 29th apparently. Meh. Send Butch an old boot while quoting the Yatta! song. That’ll be an interesting reaction to read… unless he just complains that he can’t understand it… which he most likely will.
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October 4, 2003
Ah, finally, back to AC. Still getting reruns from ‘Mom’. Midge is gone. Dang. Looks like Shitton is a bit more fall-ish now. Weeds are bad, but not terrible. And the animals aren’t complaining aboot my absence, which is good. My new neighbor is Kiki, who has taken Bea’s acre and listens to K.K. Country. She may live, however, as I have seen her before and she wasn’t so bad. She says ‘kittycat’, which I really have no opinion on either way. You know, it’s prolly just me (and the moustache), but Murphy doesn’t seem nearly as grumpy as Gaston. Hmmm… looks like Maddie and Cousteau felt abandoned after all. On the bright side… I thought Maddie was Midge… who the heck is that, anyways? Oh… the bird, right. Wendell on the 6th. Sven apparently figured I drove off with Gracie… what do I look like, a lover of snobs? Oh forget you. Gyroids everywhere, but at least they’re not fossils. I start playing Wario’s Woods, suddenly there’s a roach in my basement. Blah. Listened to K.K since he happened to be around. He played me K.K. Love Song.
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October 5, 2003
Went to get Pinball for a trade, bought a pink diary… POPEYED GOLDFISH IS MINE!!! W00T!! Cupcake says I’m better than her boyfriend. Duh. Blathers said something aboot a thousand hoos and his sincere congratulations. But of course, he wants the rest of the collections done too. Ah… the fish wind… thingy moves? Schweet. I wonder if it moves faster when it storms...
Dang it Tortimer, what if I wanted a love letter?!? You make me sad. Then agin, a golden rod can be quite useful to… nevermind. Apparently, he killed its previous owner. The advantage to the golden rod is… it has a bigger lure? Ah, I see. Fish come from farther away to bite it. So wait… what do I do now?
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October 13, 2003
Sheesh, doesn’t Mathilda ever leave? Seems to be a light and pleasant drizzle today. So nice to not have to worry aboot insects or fish. Now why do these flowers keep sprouting up out of nowhere? I would’ve thought at least one of my neighbors would have moved out… oh well. Yup, Tortimer still ain’t giving me jack squat for Explorer’s Day. Poo on him, I say! Looks like Kiki’s the type to constantly try to buy/trade my stuff. Blah. Had to bonk Sue E., as she’s now wearing the li’l bro’s shirt.
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October 27, 2003
I almost forgot that AC doesn’t correct for Daylight Savings Time on its own. Ah, the power of computers… I guess. Kiki’s gone. Bummer. Sheesh, another fishing tourney’s coming up already? Need to make room, so buried a Pitfall by Cupcake. Decided to just stockpile candy by my house this year. Got some supplies from the Lost and Found and fruit trees around the area to visit the island. My new neighbor is Lily, who combines ponds, frogs, and kitschiness into one house of insanity. Seems nice enough though. I welcomed her to Shitton with a nice, big, hunk o’ trash. She calls me ‘toady’, by the way. Also said hi to some old friends in a similar fashion. Buck believes people cause the rain. What a pessimist. Though it would make sense in the World of Nintendo, what with Mallow and all…
You know, despite it all, I think I really like this current batch of neighbors… for the most part. Nook’s having a sale at 1 pm on the 29th. That’s a Wednesday… nope, won’t be able to make it. Flash is flirting with me agin, but meh, not too surprising. So if I give Flash an apple while he’s got the golden shovel… he plants apple trees. Interesting. You know, compared to like the internet, GCN-GBA or GBA-GBA cables sure transfer information quickly. Didn’t get any exclusive island furniture items, but I did end up with a 30,000 Bell bag. I should make a note to bring more cherries to the item next time, maybe order some chess pieces or Arwings from Nook.
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October 28, 2003
Popped in, picked up some candy, picked some cherries, and popped out. Hope I’m not stuck doing this too much more. Really should make some more preparations though, like finding a cheap shirt, some worthless items, that sorta stuff. Yup, that Jack will eat candy that’s been left outside for days, stepped on, chewed on by ants… and like it!
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October 29, 2003
Cousteau is confused by my letter. Excellent.
LuWigi’s Super Halloween Plan to Get All the Spooky Furniture!!!
1. Store all candy in letters
2. Dig up all non-island furniture buried at the island
3. Find a cheap shirt at the dump (optional, can use custom pattern, if I remember correctly.)
4. Put on shirt, fill all slots in inventory but one with unwanted furniture.
5. Avoid neighbors while looking for Jack… but if caught, refuse to give up candy. Items can be converted into jack-o-lanterns and jack-in-the-boxes, can still bury at island. Shirt can be transformed to rags to the animals’ hearts’ contents. Still have enough candy to get all items from Jack.
6. Drop off spooky furniture by bulletin board for now.
Ah, this waffle shirt and eagle pole in the dump shall do nicely. Talked to Murphy for the first time in awhile, purposely upset him. Collected more cherries, bought more candy, didn’t do much else. Stupid lack of free time.
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October 30, 2003
I suppose I should feel thankful to find any time to play this game at all, but… blah. There are other tasks I could be working on if they weren’t so low on my priority list… like looking into that Warp Pipe Project, that’d be nice. That Maddie is prolly too cute for her own good, but it works for me. ‘Mom’ says I make ‘her’ coffee taste bad. I forget if I’ve gotten that one already or not, too tired to be sure, but I believe the proper reaction would be, “Worst pot of coffee you’ve ever tasted? Well I think you’ll find a much worse taste in your mouth when I fill it with MY FIST!” Yeah, something like that. Ooh, backyard pool in a scavenger hunt… I must remember to get that soon. And oh yeah, I picked up more candy. Duh.
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October 31, 2003
‘Mom’ gave me another apple. What is with ‘her’, anyways? And you know as well as I do that ‘she’ mentioned feeling like newlyweds just to make me gag. Murphy mentioned someone chopping down a lot of trees around here lately. Dun look at me, I dun even have the time for it. Except for now. Managed to find that backyard pool easily enough, so that’s kewl beans. Ooh, I completely forgot it was a raffle day… do I even have any tickets? Apparently not… Oh well, with my plan, I should have enough candy to complete the spooky collection without Nook selling me anymore. When’s that start, anyways? Bah, if you want queer to contact you, Butch, you contact her! I didn’t ask for an errand! Wendell tamarra. Prince insulted my weight agin, but I didn’t have my golden net around, so I just dug holes all around him, trapping him. It seems like it’s purposely made so that when it’s raining on the island, it’s sunny in Shitton, and vice-versa. I wonder if there’s ever thunderstorms on the island. Now why is that the fact that Flash likes cherries the most wasn’t my first guess? Sheesh, two Wario’s Woods in a row from him? And I tried so hard to get it before… he’s holding out on me! And of course, two DK Jr. Maths… blah, he can keep ‘em. But hey! A wavebreaker! …or two. Oh well, I guess that makes things easier for me. Hmmm… I wonder if there’s some sort of pattern I’m not picking up on… Like… if it’s Friday and rainy, Flash only gives out these items. Or something. Or… if you’ve made Flash happy with cherries… nah. All right, the candy’s attached to my letters, I’ve got my two items that I dun need, I’m wearing my waffle shirt… I think I’m set.
Bah, Buck doesn’t even recognize that I’m wearing a costume. And I doubt it’s ‘cause it’s the same from last year either. I wonder why Copper turns his back on all this mischief-making. I forgot that Tortimer dresses up too… at least he’s not a grumpy ol’ coot in ways other than not giving me duplicates. At least this gives me an excuse to de-weed the town. One nice thing aboot Halloween in this game… you can shove animals around all you want, and they don’t complain! The king of Halloween should NOT have flowers coming out of his pumpkin head. You ever notice that Jack has the same voice as Wendell, by the way? Oh, and beware of giving your neighbors items that aren’t candy… they just take ‘em. And storing precious items as gifts in letters you’re carrying seems to work just fine. Hey, are the gorillas the same size as the rest of the animals in their costumes? I know Ellie is. Well, it took awhile (though went by much faster after I took a break), but I finally managed to use up all my candy (accidentally lost one to Lily, she tricked me into thinking she was Jack by getting stuck behind a tree.) Now I better have all the spooky items, or I’m gonna be upset. Wait… where am I gonna store all this stuff?
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November 7, 2003
Ah, autumn is such a lovely time of year… and I dun have to worry aboot how cold it is in the game either. But unfortunately, Lily has left me. I really felt like I could learn to not hate her guts… ah well. Ooh, I missed that fishing tournament… meh. Ugh, still missing the spooky sofa and spooky wall. Well, I guess at least I tried. Cleared up some space in my inventory of letters by arranging my gyroids… I sure do have a lot of gongoids. Thanks to my generous help, Butch has a new catchphrase. It does indeed have something to do with dogs… can you guess it? I told Tangy that ‘muckraker’ was still fine. Didn’t want to change everything one day, you know? My new neighbor is Daisy… and so I have three dogs now. Weird. At least she didn’t turn into a fly and bounce away when I talked to her though. She says ‘Bow WOW’, and it makes me feel dirty for some reason. Also, she’s stuck in Gabi’s acre, which is funny, since she hasn’t quite figured out how to maneuver around in her cage yet. Flash rejects the gift of Pinball he got… Flash shall be bonked, but he hides indoors like a coward. Still, Flash shall be bonked, guaranteed. Well, Flash is still hiding from me, still piling on the Wario’s Woods and the Baseballs (so just wait until you get your first… they’ll be coming in by the truckloads after that)… but I still managed to get a Diver Dan out of him (isn’t that copyrighted by the way?) And hey, looks like I didn’t have that basic painting he gave me either! So that leaves one more item before I complete the museum… guess I should get traveling. Odd that he commented about the holes after I dug up all the stuff I had buried… maybe it’s because he was using the golden shovel? Blathers seemed to like the painting, unless ‘craw’ is a derogatory term. Apparently, the basic painting is a man standing in colonial garb… I think. That, or a blue donkey jumping over a bush.
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November 8, 2003
Nook’s having a sale at 5 tamarra. I guess I could go, maybe. I think Nook changed his announcements… I dun remember him saying ‘Hot News!’ Bah, I hate it when they make such a big deal out of the Fishing Tourney. Prince forced me to buy a pear wardrobe, so I shoved him around some. Bought a red polka pad diary from Nook. Collecting such things really isn’t all that fun… Cousteau can absorb the heat, as it’s his superpower. Then he undergoes a transformation into a dried-up, dead frog. It’s really quite a spectacle. The Lost and Found now has a toilet… my condolences for whoever lost that one. I guess they must have to visit their neighbors often. Flash managed to barricade himself inside his house by planting fruit trees, so I had to make a trip back to pick up my golden axe. However, it was all in vain for I got… let’s see… another surfboard, another wavebreaker, two Wario’s Woods, a beach chair, a treasure chest, and a life ring. If this keeps up… sheesh. Still, I might need to take a day off to get more cherries. The key does indeed seem to be the islander’s favorite fruits, and making sure he has ze happy Anime face when he digs up ze items.
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November 9, 2003
Sure am having to make a lot of deposits these days. Must be the cherries. Yes, friends, with the new and improved golden rod, I can come in around 5:00 and still beat the competition at the fishing tournament! That’s right, the golden rod! And you don’t even need a bad Swedish accent to use it (don’t try to understand that one)! Got a Bunny P. balloon from Nook. Pretty sure I already had that one. Of course, nothing worth buying from the Spawn’s selection of carpet, but that’s a given. Fishing tourney participants include Sue E. (blah), Murphy, Tangy, and Butch (whose catchphrase still cracks me up.)
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November 11, 2003
Ah, a nice, relaxing, light rain to start off the day. I won the fishing tournament, of course. I forget, do I have Chip’s stationary, or is it unavailable? ‘Mom’ mentions that fall’s almost over to upset me. Found Tortimer… I think this is the last holiday I haven’t experienced yet. Not sure how police officers relate to war veterans, but… meh. Apparently, Booker’s a lieutenant… well all right, maybe there are similarities. Tortimer of course says he built the police station with his bare ha… feet. And therefore, he of course deserves honor and recognition too on this glorious day. Glory hog. Tangy got upset agin aboot me catching the coelacanth before her… I thought I talked to her when I caught all the fish in the game. Gracie on the 13th, but Copper’s apparently too modest to even mention that it’s Officer’s Day. Maybe the mayor made up the holiday without him knowing, who knows. Booker’s the same way, but I figure he’s just too shy to say anything. Yes Buck, I’ll bet you can win Gracie’s button-mashing game… after all, it’s all a matter of wrist strength and endurance. Butch gets upset that I’m raising ‘an infernal racket’ at too early in the morning… well, he’s the one with the stereo blaring out music. Well, Flash did manage to grow two cherry trees while I was gone. Congrats to him I guess. Yes, friends, follow Kapp’n’s advice: there’s nothing wrong with losing a specified amount of weight in a specified amount of time because a superior tells you to. Well, my new method of placing the cherries far away from Flash and only giving him one at a time seems to be less wasteful, but he sure does plant a lot of friggin’ flowers. Flash sure was all aboot the NES games this time… but I still got a beach table and a ukulele. And the ukulele plays the town tune as well! I was wondering aboot that… Also got a frog woman pole from him… weird name, no? Butch loaned Daisy a newspaper apparently. I guess I don’t mind it, should be nice to have some little puppies hanging around Shitton. I made Prince happy by being ok with him eating pies first at the Harvest festival. Now, I’m not going to go out and find these pies for him, but heck, if he can get some on his own, more power to him.
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November 13, 2003
Nuts. Gracie happened to be around, but I was too slow to get anything good from her. I gotta stop playing this game after a nap. Prince is still giving me fishing advice… I guess I’m not too surprised that he’s a slow one. Cousteau gave Maddie a copy of his shirt, so we were just a trio of happy Luigis for a bit there. And Sue E. was sad to boot… what a nice day. Finally gots me a snowcone machine, and it only took me a couple of tries too. And so I have all of the island items… I wonder what I should do now. Maybe get Bea?
November 13, 2003
Ah, good ol’ Gaston. Greetings! Sheesh… I forgot how many neighbors had already moved to Shitton. Ah, Bea is still around. Excellent. Bet you didn’t see this coming… weeds weeds everywhere! Now wait… are all the monkeys involved in the train named Porter? Is that one at the front named Conductor?
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November 15, 2003
Ooh, snowing already… Oh no… I didn’t… I couldn’t have… NOOO!!! ACCURSED BAABARA!!! LEAVE US ALL ALONE!!! Well… I guess Sue E. would be worse. I wonder what mathematical algorithm explains the expansion of weeds… Puck’s just going to have to learn that you can’t have fun all the time… at least not when you’re ripping me off. Yup, I’m sure of it now… Kapp’n’s boat sails to either shore. Rouge and blush… that’s great. Apparently, I’ve left Faith alone for… 60 weeks. Let’s see, there’s 52… wow.
Hey… did ye know ye can bonk Resetti with your net right before he goes? No reaction though, of course.
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November 16, 2003
Hmmm… still snowing, but no accumulation. Errr… did ye know ye can’t store NES games from AC-e Series 4 (Ice Climber and Mario Bros.) on yer island? I guess they didn’t want people to trade items that way… or something. Might have something to do with not showing up in the catalog too. What is a migratory locust doing here if it’s snowing, anyways?
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November 17, 2003
Bummer, I lost Daisy… well, I guess it’s still a good exchange. I wonder why the weather in Shitton is still clear… Hey! Twiggy even came back to her old acre! …but she isn’t in right now. Ah, at the fishing tourney… I guess she’s fitting back in just fine at least. But teaming with Cupcake? Honestly… Tangy’s worried that the Sun goes down at the same time, no matter the season. I wonder if the video game characters ever suddenly “wake up”, find themselves trapped in some container to be used as a power source for video game consoles that currently rule their real world, and lead a resistance group against them… nah. Bah, roaches already? Why? Maybe I didn’t get rid of them the last time… You think the same animal who does K.K. Slider’s eyebrows does Chip’s as well? You ever really wish he’d just shut up, by the way? Someone buried a Pitfall to upset me, but I didn’t really care. Now why does acre E-4 sometimes have two fish at a time? Someone really oughta make a list of all the stuff Chip says when you give him different fish. Well, I guess my golden rod theory was wrong, since I gave up on trying to beat Butch’s 27-incher after awhile. Let this be a lesson to us all: always get to the fishing tourney early, and always bring an extra pitfall or two with you just in case. Now what am I going to do with all these boots?
November 17, 2003
I can’t tell… is the letter where ‘Mom’ insults your intelligence gender specific? I dun remember her saying ‘hon’.
Don’t you just hate how much Blanca’s face pattern gets stretched out on her face? Well, I guess if you keep that in mind, it doesn’t turn out too badly though. The animals sometimes sing random notes when you talk to them and they’re happy… I mean, like there’s different notes in their text box, and they’re different colors or heights depending on the note. Don’t ask who sung to me though.
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November 19, 2003
I guess the best solution for 10 old boots is… 10 letters to my neighbors! Twiggy’s upset that I haven’t talked to her for 18 weeks. Ummmm… excuse me, but I’M NOT THE ONE WHO LEFT TOWN ONE DAY FOR NO APPARENT REASON!! AND DON’T CALL ME TIGHTW…oh, right. I found Katrina. She says that a shriveled-up sports coupe (not that I know how that could happen) will be dusting shelves at a recital (though this part makes far more sense.)
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November 20, 2003
Ah, finally snowing in Shitton. Came in to play some NES games, found out Hambo had moved. Bummer… I guess.
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November 25, 2003
Aboot time I got back into things methinks. Hmmmm… controller feels… flat. Seems to be working ok though. I’d celebrate Sue E. being gone from Hyrule, but that would be shaudenfreude. Blah, roaches already. And hmmm… now I’ve got Yuka. She seems… annoying. Why couldn’t I get a cheerful koala? Hmmm… aren’t koalas related to pandas... which are related to raccoons? Don’t quote me on that though. When Puck the penguin starts to feel cold, you know winter is approaching. And when Gaston’s happy… run. Now why would someone bury an empty NES in a scavenger hunt? Hmmmm… Gulliver gave me a Chinese lioness… meh. Pulled some of the weeds around town (a laborious task indeed), then went to Shitton, in hopes of bringing a certain friend with me… Bah, stupid literature class. Now I have to kill Rover for yet another reason. We’ll see how flushed your face is WHEN IT’S COVERED IN YER OWN BLOOD!!
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November 27, 2003
Unfortunately, Vesta has had to leave Shitton. Wait… who the heck is Vesta?! I tried to send queer a nice gift (an old boot), but apparently they won’t accept it if ‘his’ mailbox is full. Interesting… it’s always surprising to see what you don’t learn about in this game until months have gone by. So anyways, I sent it to Twiggy instead. Let this be a lesson to us all: if you want more junk mail (junk in the literal sense), do be sure to clean out your mailbox every now and then. Hey wait… Static’s back! Yay! He got a letter too, talking aboot how he shall not escape me agin. Well I’ll be… I’ve already got the complete harvest series. No wonder my HRA rating jumped up so much last year… Bought a cozy sweater from the Spawn, since I didn’t recognize it and didn’t want to bother checking my catalog. Tortimer insists that I can’t come over to his house. Bah, he prolly lives in a hole in the ground anyways. And come now Tortimer… joining Twiggy in her cannabilistic feast is one thing, but do you have to write ‘Heh hehh hehh hoorf’ in the invitation? The festival was joined by Maddie, Twiggy, Cousteau, Murphy… and Mathilda. But at least Mathilda was alone. Cousteau says his outfit is more formal than usual… meaning mine must be too… I guess. Nuts, doesn’t look like you can leave the knife and fork at one’s house. Hmmm... nope, can’t sell it from your gyroid either. Svem amd Prince, despite wearing the same outfits, have managed to upset each other. At least Static didn’t bother me with ‘where have you been all this time?!?’ and all that nonsense. He’s still got the dang portrait though. And so, the Lost and Found has made a business out of taking… all the peaches I left on the ground. I wondered how those second and third rows were ever going to be filled. Buck seems to think Saharah is male. I guess I dunno either way… or was he talking aboot Franklin?
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November 28, 2003
Twiggy wants me to carefully consider the repercussions on catching the biggest fish on the rest of the community… ha! Well, it’s Sale Day, and I’m not aboot to miss that! Interesting that they would include such an unofficial western holiday by the way… maybe the Japanese have a more official equivalent already built into the game. I wonder what those bags say… I forget, where these 2,002 Bells last year? If so, then bah! I’m getting royally ripped off! Interesting that the Spawn are selling regular stuff though. Well, I had to buy out all of Nook’s inventory of grab bags (though I left one upopened to keep around), but I finally completed my collection of grab bags. Schweet. The cockroach story always makes Prince sad… can’t he just eat them?
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November 29, 2003
More snow, no accumulation… it’s not that I particularly like snow, I just like snow without accumulation less. Such a waste. And Buck doesn’t seem to realize nothing’s accumulated yet. Now why does Chip seem even more hyper than usual today? Now honestly… why would you give away a bad plaid shirt as a gift? Maybe he has a grudge against me… Nothing like seeing snow on the coconuts, eh? Wait… forget I said that. Dang, I don’t have any extra November tickets from last year after all. Wait a sec… I didn’t know Flash went to sleep. And the sign aboot him seeing me in his dreams (heart)… that prolly just wasn’t meant for me. Anyways, I decided to do a fruit run while I was there, and found out that on Animal Island (the GBA version), one item of fruit falling on another cancels each other out, at least in terms of being able to be eaten by Flash. That, and he’s far more likely to shake a tree to get the fruit out of it if you don’t tell him to. He also apparently went right back to bed after doing the fruit run, leaving me with 60,000 Bells extra. At least it makes up for what I lost buying grab bags though. Did I mention how fast Joan moves from acre to acre?
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December 7, 2003
Dang… now how am I going to get snowman furniture without snow? Well, at least I did win that fishing tourney last week. Tangy’s moved out… I guess I feel kinda numb aboot that. I’ll miss her and all, but it had to happen eventually. Her acre looks pretty dang empty though. In her place, I’ve got… ugh. Look, taking the name Coco is one thing, but do you really have to have the face of a gyroid? She took Hambo’s old lot, and her house looks… dry. Bought an organizer from Nook… yawn. Wendell on the 9th.
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December 12, 2003
Sheesh, Mathilda, move out already! Or at least get a new catchphrase! Ah, a fresh coat of snow everywhere, and snow falling from the sky. Perfect. ‘Mom’ tells me ‘she’s on drugs, and is trying to communicate with the cat. I hate to think what Tangy would have thought if she knew we kept her kind as pets. Prince insists that he’s never been a hockey phenom, but you can tell he’d make a great goalie… what with that large head. Gracie made Buck sad. That reminds me… I really need to go ahead and kill Nook already. At least Murphy knows to sneer right back at her. Note to self: send Cousteau an extra Jingle outfit, even if he does look better in green. Twiggy got her first bonking since she got back for taking my gyroid… it’s the principle of the thing you see. Consarnit, where are those dang snowballs?
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December 14, 2003
I forget, can you catch giant stag beetles in winter? Static thought he could retire on them. Is it a bad thing when you start to agree with what Gracie says? Stupid Social Psychology. Nuts, still didn’t get her fashion. I think I need a new controller. Must have stepped on it or something. Oh… snowballs are post-Christmas. Ugh, I should’ve known that. Sent away some boots to my neighbors and a fossil to the museum. I’ve really gotta get my house cleaned out already. And do something to make this game more interesting.
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December 24, 2003
Dang, forgot to bring the bloody strategy guide. Let’s see… I’ve got the Jingle dresser, lamp, piano, sofa, shirt and wall… I’ve got some work to do. So I bought all the shirts I could from the Spawn.
It’s been awhile… and yet it almost seems like too much is the same. Sure are a lot of peaches gone… curse my supposed neighbor, taking my gyroids and selling them. How stupid can ‘he’ be? Well, the bad news is, I’ve got a new neighbor, a kangaroo named Carrie. The good news is… she’s wearing a toad print. I guess that sorta makes up for it… maybe. Her house is kinda like Ellie’s, but more… green. Let’s see… Freaky Coco’s gone… someone’s been screwing with my mail. That’s it, forget ‘queer’! Prince is still around, and says he eats snow… I guess when you’ve got the munchies, you’ve got the munchies. Well phew, at least my golden items seem to be intact.
Cousteau was full of compliments this evening. Jingle… is slightly annoying, yes? Static, meanwhile, is philosophical for some reason. You know… I really don’t like hunting animals down for stuff. It’s mind-numbingly boring and frustrating. Who’s with me? Hmmm… Buck’s wearing my shirt. That’s not necessarily a good thing. So… big things are furniture, foldable things are clothes, I think printed is wallpaper, and woven is carpet. And it looks like it’s true… you don’t have to leave the acre to change costume and get more loot from Jingle. Hmmmm… looks like wearing the skull shirt was a bad idea though. Definitely. Hmmmm… perhaps the animals who come to visit… are always in acres with at least one house in them? Can’t think of an exception to that rule really. Wait, no… I found Jingle by the Able Sisters’ at first. Nuts, not even Gracie’s clothing will trick Jingle now that he’s been offended by the skull shirt. Maybe… maybe I should talk do the 5-time thingy again? Blah, that didn’t work. At least he’s nicer to me when I wear the Jingle shirt.
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December 25, 2003
A few minutes after midnight, and the snowballs are out already… and I’ve already made a perfect snowman. Quite a nice feeling to accomplish that. Butch claims he took care of Lisa… ha! Wait… I thought he moved in from the middle of nowhere… and the towns I’ve been in… hmmph, he’s just out and out lying and he knows it. Bah, no more gifts from Jingle the traditional way… well, if I’m ever dying to complete the collection, at least I know what to do. And hey, Copper said something new aboot Wendell, ‘cause he’s supposed to be here today but he’s not, so Copper like pretended like he didn’t know where he was or something, and that’s he’s all like mysterious. It was schweet.
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January 1, 2004
I forget, is there any way to get ‘Mom’s New Year’s stationary? Got a Snowman lamp from the last time I found the snowman. Sold my extra shirts (and Jingle shirts) as well.
Katrina says… great year ahead of me. Earned luck, no worries aobut love, will need to outbid a rival, and no health problems. Hmmmm… nice, though prolly means I’m doomed. Made a wish in the well… not like I didn’t have money to spare. Finally took the time to dig up all the stuff buried around Shitton. Buck forced me to change what he had to say… so now he says ‘lmao’. Hmmmm… snowballs on two different plains… I can work with that. Nope, it went smashy. But the second time seemed t be the charm, though it was hard to maneuver them once they got down there. Hey! Wait a minute! Tortimer didn’t even give me a lousy new diary! “A game that never ends”, they said. “So much to do, you’ll never be done!”, they said. Now I have to figure out for myself what to do. Hmmmm… He sure says some weird things though. And is it the fall or sports medal that’s the sign of a true hero? What does New Year’s have to do with football? Ugh, can’t find my li’l bro’s shirt. Guess I’ll order another one.
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January 3, 2003
Ah, there’s my shirt. Much better. Snowman dresser, not a bad choice… I should check to see what’s left. Yup, still got a ways to go. Carrie’s gone. Bummer. The animals are all so jealous of my fishing prowess… it’s like real life, if fishing was something else. Butch seems to like the cold weather… at least he’s not all-around grumpy I guess. Well, Gracie’s insulting my duds, but at least she compliments my fashion sense. Dang, not even a new controller will fix my apparent lack of button-mashing talent. Need… coffee, I suppose. My new neighbor is… Eunice. Such a lovely name… and it’s a sheep too. Calls me lambchop. Lovely. Won’t get out of her front door so I can check her house out either. Ah, there we go. It’s… boring, but has a piano and retro tv. Sheesh, for once I honestly like a letter that Murphy shows me, and he doesn’t even believe me. Serves me right for trying to care, I guess. Hmmmm… igloos already I see. It’s occupied by Ellie, who talks aboot us heating up the place… ugh. No such luck getting any good items out of her either.
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January 4, 2004
It’s prolly true that when your neighbors tell you to tell another player to write more letters, they really want you to… but I really dun care either way. Looks like prince has igloo duty now. He likes to make bad jokes about how cold it is apparently …and he forgot his own name agin. Also, he plays a game where I guess the word in his head (always fair)… and now thinks I’m a psychic. But only I know for sure… bwahaha! Three times in a row it was pear, the middle option. Still looks like you can tell what game they’re going to play by the options you have to answer. Got sick of playing before he got to any igloo-exclusive stuff. Redd on the 6th. I forget… when the snowman says he’s the cutest… is that bad?
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January 14, 2004
Quiet, Eunice, I dun like you. Oh good, Mr. Snowman was happy, so there’s a sofa for me. Hmmm… no wonder Eunice is still here. So long, Sven, you shall be missed. Someone’s trying to pitfall me agin. Silly Static… I’ve got all the fish and bugs, and you’re giving me advice? Wendell on the 16th. Well I’ll be… you can get the snowball out of the crevice between the lighthouse and the stream without knocking it in the water or smashing it to pieces… just gotta take it very, very slow. Maddie’s wearing Bea’s old outfit, which makes me sad. Cousteau has igloo duty. Butch still remembers the Hyrule “theme song”… I guess that’s technically an accurate name for it. And apparently, Brownie once talked with him until dawn… that takes patience, no? Blah, snowballs on the opposite sides of the town… and I know Twiggy woulda pushed that one into the pond if I hadn’t stopped her. Buck’s afraid of being hit on… maybe he knows the gender of the person who wrote him the letter, I dunno. Or I guess it could be a matter of too much pressure… and preferring that somehow. Like… being literally anal retentive, but not really.
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January 14, 2004
Quiet, Eunice, I dun like you. Oh good, Mr. Snowman was happy, so there’s a sofa for me. Hmmm… no wonder Eunice is still here. So long, Sven, you shall be missed. Someone’s trying to pitfall me agin. Silly Static… I’ve got all the fish and bugs, and you’re giving me advice? Wendell on the 16th. Well I’ll be… you can get the snowball out of the crevice between the lighthouse and the stream without knocking it in the water or smashing it to pieces… just gotta take it very, very slow. Maddie’s wearing Bea’s old outfit, which makes me sad. Cousteau has igloo duty. Butch still remembers the Hyrule “theme song”… I guess that’s technically an accurate name for it. And apparently, Brownie once talked with him until dawn… that takes patience, no? Blah, snowballs on the opposite sides of the town… and I know Twiggy woulda pushed that one into the pond if I hadn’t stopped her. Buck’s afraid of being hit on… maybe he knows the gender of the person who wrote him the letter, I dunno. Or I guess it could be a matter of too much pressure… and preferring that somehow. Like… being literally anal retentive, but not really.
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January 17, 2004
Yup, I’ve been playing this game too much, judging from all the scratches on the bottom of the disc. Of course, letting certain inconsiderate relatives handle prolly didn’t help any. At least I hear the game only needs to be booted up, then runs without the disc. Now how’d the cockroaches get back already? Did some household rearranging while I killed them. And so many weeds… what’s going on here? Awww man… another year where the lake doesn’t freeze? Stupid weathermen. Gracie agin on the 19th… must find sugar. Buck has igloo duty this time. Ugh, the wrestling games? Come on… Apparently, he believes he can warm up the igloo by concentrating enough. Well… leave him to his silly little fantasies I say. I robbed him blind in a bluffing game, but he knew the job was dangerous when he took it. I’m pretty sure what you pay for losing the wrestling game is based on a percentage of what you have. Mmmmm… nah, prolly just random. And it takes waaaay too long to get anything good out of them.
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January 20, 2004
Snow is pretty… Static is still calling me a little runt, and his ears still only go up to my nose. He seems to think cycling in the snow is a good idea… well, I guess I haven’t had any problems with rust personally. Redd agin on the 22nd. Hugh is here, says I look familiar… but that would mean he moved from… oh whatever. Still only 15 houses though… or was that the max? I forget. Note to self: Visit Hyrule already. May already be too late. Looks like I’m going to be playing pretty regularly now: Tortimer’s got me on lighthouse duty. So, if I complete the project every day… do I still get chocolate? Green mouse has igloo. Dunno why green mouse is still here. Should practice angry letter method praps. Anyways, wasn’t willing to go through all her jibber jabber just to get igloo items. But I did get a Pitfall for telling Prince I knew he hadn’t showered.
The snowballs were on different levels and almost all the way across the town, but I made a perfect snowman anyways, since I’m just that dang good.
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January 22, 2004
Got a wardrobe from the snowman. Don’t think I’ll have time for Redd today. Oh well. I kinda like Hugh’s house. Very basic, yet colorful, and the K.K. Mambo/gyroid combo is a nice touch. Prince thinks it’s nice out… I forget, are frogs cold blooded? Gave static a new catchphrase. It’s like Flash’s, except with monkeys and not clowns. …and then he suddenly went from the top of the ridge to the bottom valley. Now if only I could jump too… Lots of things to dig up today, dunno why. Queer this, queer that, yadda yadda yadda. Blah. Oh yeah… I screwed up the lighthouse thing already. Better luck next time I guess. Twiggy’s got igloo duty. But, alas, I was unable to get any good items out of her either.
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February 2, 2004
Sheesh, Mathilda, are you just some sorta masochist? Or praps sadistic… she’s gotta know I hate her. Yeah, so I found out missing one day means you dun get a dang thing with the lighthouse task… so I forgot aboot the rest. Eunice is gone… bummer. She’s been replaced by… Bertha. Ah, such lovely names for neighbors I’m getting lately. Twiggy says I’ll look cuter in a toad print…do I smack her or flirt with her agin now? I forget. Anyways, Bertha is a green rhino, or praps hippo. Whichever. She says ‘bloop’… sounds catchy enough. She’s got the modern/xylophone thing going on at her pad, complete with K.K. Cruisin’. Schweet. Cousteau is in the igloo agin. He’s got that stupid wrestling game going on. Blah. At least my laziness with the lighthouse messed Gulliver up. Got a compass from him. Oh good, now I can locate the boss in Shitton and defeat him for my piece of the Triforce… or not. At least it’s new though. Dang, I think my snowball got destroyed on its way down the hill. Prince is still threatening to leave… I think that’s a good sign.
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February 3, 2004
I really gotta get this disc cleaned. Ah, Bea’s still here… but the town’s pretty much empty otherwise. Freaky. Yup, it’s definitely been awhile… and guess what? I have weeds! Betcha didn’t see that coming. Yes, it’s days when my life seems most hectic that I like to relax, pop-in my ol’ AC game, try for 15 minutes to get it to read the disc, and finally… wish the pond would freeze over so I dun have to keep finding bridges. Wait… didn’t I send Billy elsewhere? Is this a new Billy? Or was it the old one and the one I found in Hylia was… no, I think it’s the first. Sheesh… this weed-pulling sounds like a job for ol’ Wisp. Which reminds me… why am I able to pluck the supposed shadows of the weeds as well? Or is that dirt?
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February 4, 2004
Static still looks so dang cute when he’s happy. Glad to have him back. I believe we all can learn from ‘Mom’s example… people get worked up over the littlest things. Valentine’s Day approaches, so my work becomes especially important. These animals are always so dang… cheerful in the morning. Except the grumps of course. Heh heh, Prince used “marking his territory” as a metaphor… not the way I would of course, but at least he’s got the right idea. Well, it took panicking and making my head woozy… but I gots me more Gracie clothes! Whoo! Specifically, I got the cool shirt, which is of course anything but… so if I already said that before… nuts. Oh well, at least I’m back on track. The igloo is taking Bea’s old acre. The igloo shall pay. Stupid golden axe with its lack of effect! Why did I even bother trying to get you, anyways? Beware, Butch… for we humans are not happiness und sunshine. It’s unfortunate that Buck can’t play any instruments… meanwhile I just press A by one, and musical magic results! Or something. Mailed away some fossils… haven’t done that in awhile.
February 4, 2004
Hmmm… was that new ‘leaving from the train’ music? Blanca needed help agin, so I gave her happy Anime cat face #45. She seemed pleased, but maybe that was just due to her appearance. Her requests for me to keep her a secret no matter what is a bit bothersome, though. Anyways, I felt that if we’re going to get a neighbor exchange back in action, it was up to the delegates from Shitton to make the first step. The 11 pm winter song sounds almost… like one during a traditional Asian dance ceremony of some sort… not quite what you’d hear in a Chinese restaurant, but close. Bea had to sleep, unfortunately, so I decided to write her a letter. Gave her a cherry this time, to remind her of the ol’ cherry trees in Shitton that Flash likes so much. Gaston seemed surprisingly cheerful though… I guess the grouches are more night owls. Yup… we definitely need to get Wisp in here. And so, soon I shall know the answer to the question: if a person from Shitton makes a snowman in Hyrule, who gets the reward?
Dang it… of all the neighbors I coulda lost, it had to be Prince. Well that’s it, there’s no going back now. And so, Brownie shall take a visit to Shitton, hopefully bringing her friends along with her. Geez, Blanca needs a new face already? So I gave her sunglasses and a bushy moustache. She didn’t seem amused. Buck and Static seemed glad to see Brownie, said it had been two months. And Buck still seems to remember WINDY, and it’s theme song. Catchy one at that. Nope, looks like Bea’s staying in Hyrule for the moment.
Had some free time, so decided to try again. Yup, looks like we lost Olivia… better for her to go to a new town than just disappears methinks, Baabara clone or not. I still can’t decide what’s more disturbing… Rover’s lack of a nose or Rover’s lack of pants. All this talk about seeing my friend in Shitton… and yet I can’t even interact with the human players directly while I’m there. And yes… you can see cockroaches in a house that’s not yours, and kill them. You just can’t get under things to find them in order to kill more. And… Murphy’s a bit confused, thinks it’s Brownie’s house that’s infested. Killjoy: something that destroys one sense of happiness or general contentment… you learn something every day. Thanks, Murphy! Meanwhile, Olivia’s ranting, talking aboot how it’s been snowing all morning… you only got here around noonish. Apparently, Brownie makes Hugh all scared and uncomfortable… I wonder if her ‘Mom’ wants pig-human hybrid grandkids too. And yet he denies he’s in love with anyone… that clinches it.
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February 6, 2004
Hmmmm, Bertha’s gone. Nuts, I was gonna update my artwork using her. Sayonara, Prince, you shall be missed. Wow, I never realized Static was so philosophical… yuppers, saying to a guy his chocolates suck certainly is hard to do. Though if we analyze it another level… it’s almost as if he emphasizes with these women… and that’s very un-Gastonish. Olivia’s trying to make me hate her already, but I’m too apathetic. I dunno what that says aboot how me and Static are related or not. And Bea didn’t understand my letter… bummer. Nate, too, is gone… I’m gone a day and I lose two neighbors?! Who the bloody heck is Nate?! Cousteau, the remaining frog in my town, wanted yet another new catchphrase. So I gave him the French equivalent of the one I gave Tom. And thus, I was inspired to continue to go on a learning expedition on the internet, for which I am much the better for. That’s odd… Billy’s back. Mathilda’s in the igloo, so she can go ahead and do bad things to herself for all I care. Redd on the 8th.
February 6, 2004
Came to Hyrule and did a quick cockroach killing spree in Brownie’s house. Then decided that wasn’t working, so I sent Bea a simpler letter and a houndstooth t-shirt. Hopefully she gets the pun. When I talked to her, she just gave me a simple “Oh, hello” and talked aboot igloos. At least Prince is friendly towards me still. And of course Rover is talking aboot how my face looks flushed just to spite me. Jerk.
And of course, my plan wouldn’t be complete without having Brownie make the journey. Apparently both Murphy and Anicotti are back in Hyrule, with Murphy sans his favorite shirt of course. Interestingly enough, when Gaston says to Brownie what Static said to LuWigi (which proves it isn’t all that unGastonish after all), he sounds like he’s flirting with her. Such is the double standard of the world we live in. There’s this new pig in Shitton named Lucy… she frightens me. So Shitton is down to one frog… and three pigs. Ugh. And I know that Hugh was flirting with me.
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February 9, 2004
Bea says I’m still her pal… but pretends to remember nothing aboot Shitton. Harsh. At least she hinted that she’d like to travel there sometime. I really gotta clear out my saved letters before Valentine’s Day… so I decided not to keep any letters where the animals complain they dun have any idea what I’m talking aboot. It’s really to their benefit that I not remember them as clueless anyways. Cousteau tried to pitfall me, but I got the upper hand. I guess it’s a testament to my waning interest in the game that I didn’t bonk him for it. Sorry dude, unless that girl you’re thinking of is Tortimer, no chocolates for you. Oh, hey Prince… welcome back? I guess this town must grow on ya if you stick around long enough. Oh yeah, Redd is still here… and using Tangy’s old lot. What a jerk. Nothing good, but I bought Pinball anyways.
February 9, 2004
Yup, doing another run. At least in some acres of Hyrule, the weeds don’t outnumber the leaves on the trees. Bea was very happy with her new shirt… but it looks the same as the old one. Guess I’ve got bad taste, but as long as she’s happy. So apparently, in one of Sandy’s games, you can win half of whatever you’re carrying. Only 1 in 4 chance though, if that.
Great, I gave Hyrule Sue E. agin. At least we’re down to one now. Blanca wanted a new face, but I felt like she was making too many demands upon me. So I gave her boobies instead, and like the great Krusty the Klown, she did not complain. Hugh thinks Maddie’s clothes are too small. As he considers this a bad thing, I think it becomes clear… he really should take a cruise with the ol’ Kapp’n. Buck called me a freak… I dun care if I am Brownie or not, he gets bonked! Twiggy’s still pushing balls into the water… but seems to like Brownie’s voice, and LuWigi’s short, concise letter (I think that’s when I sent her a boot… like a long shoe, I mean.) Now where the bloody heck is Prince?
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February 12, 2004
Only got time for a quick run to Shitton today. Looks like Hyrule has problems with too many letters as well. So I got rid of some of Nook’s advertisements that were in the saved cache. Yuka is apparently in Shitton now… never had a Koala there before. I mentioned that I think they, like pandas, have a direct connection to ‘coons and are therefore evel? Well, I think I may be mistaken. I read somewhere that Nook’s actually a type of cat or something. Not the most reliable source, but I guess I dunno any better. …did the color of the leaves used to be blue? Brownie is now officially Buck’s tennis manager… can I have Punch-Out!! yet?
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February 13, 2004
Well, we’re down to the deadline here. At least the game booted up quickly enough. Just my luck… Gaston’s back in Shitton, while Bea’s still in Hyrule. He insists I shouldn’t cry. We’ll see who’s crying if I dun get my dog back where she belongs by tamarra… Yeah, I’d better start in Shitton, Hyrule’s running low on neighbors.
February 13, 2004
Oh, Lucy’s gone… yay? And I had Sue E., but now she’s gone… agin. But she couldn’t just up and leave, oh no! She had to say “such is life”. THAT’S WHAT I SAY, DAGNABBIT! …sorry, Billy. So Gaston and Butch now share the same acre, giving me three grumps total. Schweet. Tortimer’s going on another vacation. Hmmm… I think I can pull off playing AC for a week or so… hopefully. Cousteau is still afraid of love. Well, I guess the term ‘vagabond’ is more often masculine, and that can be discomforting. Gaston seems to think we’ve never met… he would. But he sure remembers a lot aboot his old town… what a bum. This Yuka creature has Gabi’s old lot. Good for her. Wendell tamarra. Yay. Prince believes that if you’re in love, you eat all the time. Now, granted, love can make you nervous, make you excited, and therefore eat up more calories… but I think he’s thinking of being pregnant. Dug up a ranch dresser. Double yay.
I got Olivia pretty upset, but serves her right to insinuating something aboot my weight. At least Static was more amiable. On an unrelated note, have you ever stopped and thought aboot how many pieces of dialog are really in the game? It’s… quite frightening, especially if you include letters. Well, Hyrule has Maddie now… seems best to me for each town to have only one cheerful dog anyways.
Maddie was upset that I followed her without getting a letter that she was there. Bah, I’ll gaze through whatever windows I want to, and no one’s gonna tell me otherwise! Ah, excellent, Cupcake’s finally left Shitton. Not that it’s any better that she’s in Hyrule, but at least it’s a change of pace. Growing impatient and with my remaining energy quickly waning, I made a last ditch effort: to write the most over the top love letter I could come up with, and give Bea my prized Pinball NES game. Otherwise, however, I’m out of tricks.
You know, it’s weird. Sometimes the animals seem to sound out the word on the screen perfectly… other times, they’re so off it’s ridiculous. Like Porter… you do not pronounce ‘eek eeeeek’ as ‘achoo’. Sheesh, there’s more things buried in Hyrule than… well, it’s prolly best not to try to make a comparison. Bea got some letter from a symbol asking if she thought it was cute, and a little text drawing of some sorta face… very weird. Never seen it before… did queer do it? Nah, she acted like it was one of those built-in ones. Still, gives me the willies somehow.
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February 14, 2004
Ah, the disc seems to be working fine now… and I have no idea why. Oh well, can’t complain. Butch lost his catchphrase… nuts. I bet it has to do with the town exchange, since that gets rid of saved patterns too. Now then, my Valentine’s Day assessment: Olivia hates me. Schweet. Ditto for Sue E… who is here. Well, maybe with all these exchanges, she’ll just leave all together some day. In fact… everyone I got a letter from this year did it out of thinking no one likes me enough to send me anything… success! Oh yeah, Valentine’s Day, chocolates… lighthouse! Murphys says I smell like sandwiches… is that the best insult he can come up with? Ironic that Twiggy’s gone… but meh, c’est la vie. I was looking through my letters and such, when I realized: This is the second Olivia to go through Shitton. Very odd. And Sue E. specifically told me she was NOT coming back! Liar. At least now the only stuff on my front lawn are gyroids.
February 14, 2004
Blanca was on the train, so I quickly made her a Majin Buu face, which she liked. Therefore, her appreciation for faces seems to be random indeed. Bea didn’t seem to want to directly acknowledge that I sent her a letter, but instead, “sold” me some wallpaper, and told me I was good at everything. Still, very much a bummer that I have to travel by train to see her… but I guess, in the end, that’s her decision, and life. Twiggy seemed indifferent, though, so poo on her.
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February 17, 2004
Believe it or not, I have been doing the lighthouse task all this week… it’s just that that’s all I’ve been doing, other than talking to Buck, who is kinda boring. Oh, and I met Blanca, with the Anime-ish face I gave her. Nothing all that interesting there though. Today, Buck claims he’s not snowing, and doesn’t seem to realize that the ability to build a snowman has very little to do with the accumulation of snow falling from the sky. You know, for someone who considers himself old, Static sure does have a weird hairdo/rock and roll obsession. Would someone please get Mathilda out of that stupid igloo… and Shitton in general? Crud… nothing new from Gracie. Stupid sugar buzz, never hits my system at the right time. Good old golden axe, you always make me feel better.
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February 18, 2004
Why hasn’t Bea written me back yet? …no, it couldn’t be. The leaves are green agin, and Buck is talking aboot the Sun… nutbunnies. Spring is so boring… at least in AC. Turned on the lighthouse, then left. See why I usually don’t bother to comment?
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February 19, 2004
Let’s see… Redd on the 20th, bunch of items buried in the F acres that I haven’t dug up yet. Hugh has igloo duty, and everyone’s saying ‘burrup’ still, despite the fact that the founder of the catchphrase no longer resides in Shitton. Yup, I think that aboot covers it.
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February 21, 2004
Ah, Tortimer’s finally back, and happy with the job I did. And I get chocolates! Yay! And yet I feel so unfulfilled… meh. So if Tortimer is scheduled to appear in front of your door at the beginning, and you’ve reset your game… who shows up first, Tortimer or Resetti? Well anyways, I dun really have time to fool around right now.
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February 29, 2004
Snow’s gone, and I dun have any mail ‘cause it’s Raffle Day. No more Snowman furniture, but at least everything looks pretty. Buck notices as well that the time is just flying by. Redd on the 2nd. Buck is really upset that I didn’t talk to him for two weeks… meh. Puck’s in my town… I always liked penguins. Too bad it’s the wrong season for him. Hmmmm… not all that much to do, now. Oh well.
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